Chapter Seven: Every Time You Close Your Eyes
Haley frowned to herself as the doorbell rang. It was Heli, come to pick up the children. Finally being free was technically worth it, but she hated being parted from her children.
"EVIE? Neen, Kade, come on!" she called, running for the door. Kade gave her a suspicious look as she passed him. He was growing weary of the constant change. Haley wished desperately that she'd been able to handle it all, even if only for him.
She bent down to pick him up off the floor, and held him on her hip. Kade, at three, didn't generally hold with being carried, but accepted it gracefully. He smiled at her with his blue eyes, so like his father's. Like every part of his being.
It was inevitable. She'd had Kade after pain, after loss, because she'd wanted him desperately. She'd named him for his fahter, and her reward for it was her being cursed to never, ever forget him.
Her eyes widened in shock as she opened the door and met the same blue eyes. For a second she floundered. She didn't believe they were his eyes, not so soon after looking into her baby's. No, fate was not that cruel.
"Haley."
His voice was terse. Apparently, fate was.
His hands brushed hers as he took Kade into his own arms, and she contained her shiver. Haley touched Kade's arm for a second, silently wishing him goodbye, missing him alredy.
Brooke appeared behind Nathan.
"Hey Tutorgirl. Nate and I were in the neighborhood, and Heli was crazy busy. Shocking, huh? Bye!" she said brightly, lifting Kade down from Nathan's arms and tugging him down the hall.
"Shocking," muttered Haley.
She glanced at Nathan. He'd attempted to appear calm, but had already failed. Her liquid brown eyes met his blue ones. He cupped her elbow in his hand, and gently pulled her closer.
What was wrong with them? Why were they so completely incapapable of keeping their hands to themselves? Why was it that whenever they were alone together it was a monumental event? Why hadn't it gotten old yet?
Nathan didn't know how to be. He knew that he couldn't be the man that would take her in his arms and kiss her until she responded. He knew he couldn't be cruel to her. He didn't think himself capable of treating her like his ex, once loved but now forgotten.
"How are you doing with those papers?" asked Haley cruelly.
Ouch.
"You know how I'm doing with the papers. My answer isn't about to change," he said.
Haley surpressed an eye roll. He had always been passionate. He had always been stubborn.
Passionate. Like when they...
A look fluttered in her eyes, and Nathan smirked.
"What're you thinking about, Hales?" he asked. Haley scowled. He knew. Somehow, he always knew when she was thinking about it, and him.
"I could be thinking about anyone. I could be thinking about anyone, and it wouldn't matter any more, because it no longer concerns you. You don't have the right, Nathan Scott," said Haley.
Nathan raised his eyebrows as Eve appeared from the other room and launched herself at him. Nina followed her, and slipped her hand into her father's.
"Is that right?" he asked.
He turned and left, and Haley slammed the door behind him.
She leaned against it and sank down to the ground. He still knew her. He still wanted her.
And, most horrifying of all, she still wanted him.
Nina had been quite and subdued on the short ride in the company car back to the mansion, so Nathan was releived when they came through the doors and she squealed upon seeing Heli before running to her.
"Hey Mr. Scott," she said. She rose, still holding Nina in her arms.
"Hey Heli," he said, happy she was around for the times he couldn't deal with his wife. He watched his two other children gradually gravitate toward her. They'd hired her in the midst of a trauma, never intending to let her stay, but somehow she'd never left.
"Lunch on the table, guys. Go get it," she said.
Nathan smiled gratefully at Heli as they ran off.
"Sorry. Brooke promised she'd be out. Guess we got PUNK'd?" suggested Heli.
"She wanted me to see her," he said.
"And did you?"
Nathan playfully scowled at her.
"Remind me to fire you next month," he said.
"Oh, and not this?"
"Nope. Eve has dance in an hour, and I have a meeting," he said, slowly following his children into the dining room.
Heli laughed appreciatively, but hid it when they were finally sitting around the table, with the three children who wouldn't appreciate the same humour.
Heli smiled to herself as she entered Eve's room that evening. Nina's was a perfect little girl's room-pink walls, Disney princess bedspread, every toy she could possibly desire. Three months previously Eve had convinced her easily swayed father to hire painters to paint her room bright red. She'd painstackingly stuck glow in the dark stars on her ceiling.
She hated that she favoured Eve among the three of them, because she did love them all, but she couldn't help it. Nina was a miniature Haley, Kade was all his father, and Eve belonged to Heli.
Her eyes shifted to Eve's bed, and she frowned in concern when she saw Eve's blue eyes staring back at her in the dark.
"What's wrong?" she asked in concern. Eve rolled around, blocking out the sight of her nanny, but Heli walked over to her bed and sat down.
"Baby, come on," she insisted.
"Why can't we all live here together?" she asked.
Heli sighed, and lifted the small girl onto her lap. Eve leaned against her nanny and sighed. She slowly ran a hand through her charge's long, dark, curly hair. Eve was seven, but small for her age.
"Sometimes Moms and Dads just stop loving each other," said Heli. She refrained from commenting that it did not mean that they'd stopped loving their children. It was a line she'd heard many times upon her own parent's divorce, and one which had never been helpful. And Eve had no doubt that her parents loved her.
"But they haven't," said Eve. Heli was inclined to agree. She'd never seen Nathan as miserable as he'd been in the last few months. She'd seen enough of Haley to know she felt the same.
"It's like... if I was someone you didn't like so much," suggested Heli. Eve frowned.
"Like Lewis at school?" suggested Eve.
"No. Not exactly. Like a family member you don't like so much," said Heli.
"Auntie Leigh," said Eve instantly. Heli held back a smile.
"Auntie Leigh, perfect. So you love her, because she's your family, and you don't hate her, because she's pretty much a good person. But you wouldn't want to be around her all the time. It's a lot of effort, being around someone you don't like all the time," said Heli.
"But the point was to make them happier. But they aren't. They're sadder."
"They'll figure it out," promised Heli.
"They'd better."
Eve slid off Heli's lap. Heli straightened her nightgown, and Eve slid into bed. Heli tucked her blankets over her and kissed her forehead.
Heli stepped out of the room and for an instant, let herself hate Haley Scott. But then she stopped. Haley needed out. Heli knew the feeling.