Warnings: Major AU and Gender bending.

For the Love of a Femme

Miles winced at the pain in her abdomen, wishing for the Midol she'd left at home. 'Stupid cramps…' She thought as she walked over to where she'd left her things before track. With a sigh of satisfaction she grabbed the green apple she'd saved for this and her backpack. She then slipped into her heels, and took a bite out of the apple, closing her eyes in happiness.

Sam sat with his girlfriend Mikaela on the hood of his car/best friend Bumblebee. Relaxed and enjoying the view of the overhang, he leaned back on his hands, and spoke up "So, Bumblebee, when are the twins getting here?" Bumblebee would have shrugged if he'd been human. They'd received a garbled transmission from Sideswipe and Sunstreaker about a week ago, and had been expecting planet fall any day now.

"There's no real estimation yet." Mikaela hummed, leaning into Sam as she recalled what she had learned of the twins. But her sources were incredibly biased, so she decided to see what her yellow painted friend thought.

"You know, I've heard a lot of horror stories about them from Ratchet and Ironhide, but what are they really like?" She questioned. Sam sat up a little straighter, having heard some of what Prowl had complained about after he'd made planet fall, and being curious to see if it was true.

Bumblebee shook with laughter as some choice memories surfaced, causing Mikaela and Sam to scramble to stay in place. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are pranksters and showoffs. Sunstreaker is vain, and he's an artist. Sideswipe is more open to new people, friendlier than and not as vain as Sunstreaker is. They're also the pioneers of Jet Judo."

Which was exactly what Miles was about to find out. She dumped the apple core in a waste basket near the corner store, and continued past a car lot to the park nearby to sketch. Two Lamborghinis sped past her, the wind lifting Miles's short jean skirt up and messing up her hair. Without even thinking about it, she took a vial of ink out of the pocket of her skirt, and threw it after the jerk driving the golden lambo.

Surprising herself, her aim struck true and she got the bottle of ink to shatter satisfyingly and splatter black ink all over the gold lambo. That would teach him to speed so close to the sidewalk. The car skidded to a screeching stop, turned around to face her as it did so.

"JERK!" Miles called at him, unable to see the driver through the tinted windows, before turning on her heels and heading to the park with her head high. The ink she'd wasted was going to take a couple shifts to pay for, but it was worth it. She didn't get more than two steps before the lambo drove in front of her, and blocked her path. Jumping back in surprise at the audacity of the punk behind the wheel. 'What the hell!?' She thought in flustered fury.

"You ruined my paintjob!" The voice of the driver came out of the car clearly. Miles glared at the lambo, for lack of a person to see. Jerk could at least roll down the window if he was going shout at her.

"So? You started it! Speeding like that's just asking for trouble!" The lambo revved threateningly, before lurching forward and stopping. Miles smirked; blue eyes alight with the challenge. So the overcompensating jerk wanted to play it like that, did he? Well, he'd have to up his game if he wanted to freak her out. She was friends with no-brain-to-mouth-filter-when-confronted-with-danger Sam Witwicky. If she could survive friendship with him to high school, she could handle a poser in an expensive car.

'He wants it that way huh? That's fine with me.' "See if you can catch me, ugly." Then she put her track team training to good use and vaulted over the car, running into the park.

Sunstreaker was stunned for a nano-second, before he took after the fleeing human, ignoring his brother's half-sparked protest. The blonde haired human femme was road kill. Noone got away with defiling his paintjob and calling him ugly.

Miles made use of the terrain and wove in and around the trees, taking tight corners and squeezing through narrow spaces. She also made random feints and forced the lambo to go around the long way when she maneuvered somewhere he couldn't follow her. Trees were her new best friend. 'Sorry Sam, Mr. Oak Tree is my new bestie. At least you'll have more time for your girlfriend now?'

She nearly jumped out of her skin and had a heart attack as the golden streak burst through some bushes, not wasting a second as she darted off the dirt hiking trail and booked it through the denser parts of the park.

She had many narrow-escapes, but after an hour of high-speed hide'n'seek/tag, the femme was getting tired. 'Damn. He's good. Persistant, but good.' Miles though, feet hitting the gravel as she ran around the edge of the lake. 'But I'm still better.' She then skidded to a halt as the Lambo came roaring out of the park and onto the path in front of her.

Instead of turning around, she ran and jumped onto the lambo's hood and then ran over the lambo. She hit the ground running again and was almost home-free, until the red one showed up laying on it's horn.

Miles immediately went to the side, but Yellow was there. 'Aw, shit.' The girl stopped and stared at them, tense for a chance to make a break for it. There was a drawn out silence, and Miles mentally filled it with spaghetti western showdown music.

"…"

"…"

"…You two suck." She said after a moment, unable to just let the silence stretch on, but unwilling to concede defeat – or at least a tie, because she was winning before they cheated. Sunstreaker laughed at the unexpected insult.

"For a human, you're pretty fast," He allowed, before continuing with "but you're still cleaning my paintjob." Miles put her hands on her hips and glared at the yellow lambo. She was not washing the guy's car. He could do it himself.

"Says who?" She challenged, wanting Mr. Mysterious Overcompensation to show himself. Sunstreaker unfolded into bipedal mode, standing up to his impressive height, and glaring down at the small femme imperiously.

"Says me." Miles just raised an eyebrow, and cocked her hip. She had to admit, this was either a really convincing dream, or japan had lost a giant robot. She was willing to bet on japan. (And not just because that would mean she'd get to parade Sam around school in a dress since he'd lost the bet. It didn't matter that they'd made the bet in fifth grade.)

Sideswipe looked between the two and would have quirked a grin had he been transformed. "Oh I like you. Sunny, can we keep her?" Miles looked at the red at that, and surprise defiance melted into surprised indigence.

"I am not a pet!" She exclaimed at the same time Sunstreaker retorted,

"Don't call me Sunny!" Miles turned her eyes back to Sunstreaker and examined him more closely. She said 'him' because he didn't have the chest to be female. Could robots be female? Whatever, he sounded like a guy.

"What are you?" Oops guess Sam's no-brain-to-mouth-filter thing was contagious. Sunstreaker crossed his arms and probably rolled his eyes, the jerk. He smirked as he stated with confidence,

"We're Autobots." …was that a gender? Miles had no idea. Maybe robots had robot genders.

Miles gave them a flat look that should have told them she didn't know what that was. She was just about to verbalize such, when a police cruiser came bursting in on the scene with flashing lights. And no driver. Sunstreaker transformed quickly and opened his door for Miles while Sideswipe rammed the police cruiser. "Get in!" he demanded, and Miles obeyed, pulling her bag of art supplies with her. She was barely inside when the door slammed shut on her and the car was moving.

"Hi, I'm Sideswipe, and this is my brother Sunstreaker." The red one's voice came over the yellow's radio. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe burnt rubber as they escaped, kicking up gravel, and tearing up grass and dirt. Miles wiggled into a more comfortable position, and was strapped in by Sunstreaker. "The one tearing after us is a Decepticon." Sam blinked at the information.

"Um, Hi? Miles. Miles Lancaster."

During the three hour chase and escape, then the hours driving from California to Nevada, Sideswipe told Miles the basics of what the Autobot/Decepticon war was about, what happened in Mission City, and what they were doing on Earth now, so far from their companions.

"So you two got lost looking for Nevada?" Miles asked after the explanation, as they drove through a small town. Then she laughed at the absurdity of that.

"Hey!" Sideswipe said, practically pouting. They were coming back to Tranquility now, and so they let out a signal. Miles yawned and rested her head on her arms, which rested on Sunstreaker's steering wheel.

In Sam's driveway…

Bumblebee was in light recharge in Sam's driveway when he felt the Autobot signal. He immediately called Prime to relay the knowledge. 'Must be the twins.' He mused.

Miles was falling asleep when they pulled up next to Bumblebee, Sideswipe parking on the grass. "Hello 'Bee, miss us?" Sunstreaker asked with casual flair. Bumblebee was about to respond when he noticed the dark splash of black in on him, then picked up a human signature in Sunstreaker and became mildly alarmed. He ignored the question to ask one of his own.

"Why do you have a human?"

Sideswipe opened a com link to 'Bee, not wanting to wake the human. -Miles kind of got back at Sunstreaker for flipping her skirt by throwing ink on him, led Sunny on an epic chase, got cornered by us, then had to flee with us when Barricade showed up. Sunny's told her everything important and now she's sleeping.- Bumblebee stared at them in stunned amazement.

-…You two get into some of the weirdest situations.-

Miles woke up to the sound of Sunny's laughter. Blearily, she looked up to see they were talking to a Camaro. "'eep dow, 'm tryan ta' slee…" She slurred, curling back up to go to sleep again. Sideswipe stifled his laughter at his twin's predicament.

"Aw, she likes you!" This cooed statement, and the laughter, woke up a grumpy Miles.

Miles opened Sunny's door, carrying an opened silver sharpie with her. She took the sharpie and drew on Sideswipe's hood and windows. She made girly swirls and knots and even a butterfly or two. She then capped the sharpie. After the five minutes it took to do it and another one to take it in, Sideswipe snapped out of the stupor caused by her audacity.

She marched back over to Sunny to sleep as the red with silver designs mech looked himself over. As best he could.

Sunstreaker forced himself not to laugh so he wouldn't bring down Miles's wrath. Bumblebee did laugh, but silently. Sideswipe finally finished looking at himself, then pointed accusingly at his twin.

"…She takes after you." He said flatly to Sunstreaker. His twin just laughed over the comm., not waking up the irritable femme with art supplies.

The next morning…

Sam woke up and came down stairs to wish 'Bee a good morning like everyday since Mission City, and paused as he saw two Lamborghinis. They were not quite what he'd expected from the descriptions he'd heard, what with the silver sharpie and black splatter mark.

"…So, are these the twins?" He double checked with Bumblebee. Bumblebee made an amused sound and nodded.

-And their new friend.- 'Bee texted him, as Sam walked over to the new comers. He could barely see through the tinted windows, but someone was defiantly in the yellow lambo. Sam nodded to them, and looked up at 'Bee.

"Who found out already?" It wasn't exactly unusual for someone to get caught up in the Autobot's arrivals, but usually they didn't travel with them.

-A human femme named Miles Lancaster. Apparently she impressed the twins before Barricade tried to attack them.-

Sideswipe felt the needed to pipe in at that moment, because he said, "And we would have mauled him too, if it hadn't been for her." Bumblebee looked at Sideswipe with the equivalent of an "oh really?" look.

-Since when have rules or company stopped you before?- Sideswipe snorted at the accurate remark.

"We read a lot about chivalry on the internet. Most of its crap, but I kind of like the idea of being sweet on femmes. And that was definitely not a good place for a defenseless little femme." The femme in question spoke next, startling the others as she exited from her sleeping space in Sunstreaker.

"Aw, Sideswipe, I didn't know you cared." She smirked as she said it, mischief in her eyes. Sam looked at the blonde and did a double take. He knew that girl. Almost as well as he knew himself. And he definitely recognized that eye-blindly bright yellow shirt he'd gotten her as a gag gift two years ago.

Miles stretched a bit, showing a flat, very slightly toned stomach. Sideswipe felt like shaking his head too. 'Okay, attractive for a human femme.' He admitted. 'Now stop thinking about it.' Sunstreaker looked at his twin, sending a question over their twin bond. Sideswipe sent some reassurance.

"So, my kidnappers, what's going to happen now?" Sunstreaker looked at Miles in mild amusement and surprise.

"Kidnappers?" he repeated teasingly. Miles gave him a challenging look.

"Yes, kidnappers. I'm blocks from home, have no extra clothes of food, left no note for my brother Chip, telling him I'd be away for an extended period of time, and I dropped my cell sometime during the chase. So technically, you are kidnappers." The amusement in her voice meant she was only half serious about it.

Sideswipe grinned. "Bet you've never had kidnappers as handsome as us!"

Miles gave him a grin. "Nor as modest."

The five laughed, and Sam got a feeling that, although their bonds were relatively new, Miles, Sunny, and Sides were close. 'They act like they've known each other all their lives…' Sam thought, watching as Miles sat on Sunny and picked at the dried ink. 'And I would know.' He mused.

"You still owe me a clean paint job." Sunny said, trying to get a rise out of Miles.

"Not before you two get to Prime." Miles shot back, teasingly.

Sideswipe made a sniffing sound. "What about me?" Sam turned to look at Sideswipe, and grinned wider.

"I like you as you are now." Sideswipe made a disappointed whining noise. "Alright, just so you don't feel left out." Miles said, hopping up to sit on Sunstreaker's hood.

Sam's stomach growled. "Hey Miles, I bet you haven't eat since you left. Why don't you come in and have breakfast?" Miles slipped off Sunstreaker.

"Yeah, thanks Sam. It's been awhile since we had a sleepover."

The two childhood friends entered the house, leaving their giant alien robot friends outside to catch up.