The pilot, the captain, the chief engineer, and the Russian sat together in the cafe, sharing a large sausage pizza. "I'm serious." Kirk began chewing slowly, "He's like a ghost. He knew exactly what I was doing and was waiting to catch me!"
"Did you get anythin' good?" Scotty inquired, hovering over his glass if Scotch.
Dejected, Kirk slumped back "No. Hot-wheels caught me before I could."
Scotty shook his head "Of all the rotten luck, of course."
Chekov frowned at his companions "So...we have nothing?"
After a short pause, Sulu began to chuckle "Gentlemen," he took a sip of his Jack Daniel's "All hope is not lost. I've already got the dirt we require."
"Really?" Scotty tilted his head.
"Truly." The Japanese man winked, thought for a second, then smirked "I found out that Spock is an acronym for 'Super Pompous and Outrageous Colon Killer.'"
The Scottish man choked slightly on his drink "Bit outrageous, don't you think?"
"Perhaps," came as Kirk's reply as he chewed on his thumbnail "But the rest of the crew won't know that."
"Colon killer?" Chekov spoke up, rubbing his stomach "I don't like the sounds of that."
Scotty helped himself to more Jack "It'll never work."
"Indeed." Admiral Pike's voice from behind made the entire group jump. When had he even come in the room? The Admiral wheeled himself up to the table, grabbed himself an empty glass, poured himself some scotch, and smiled at the stunned four before him. "Gentlemen." He nodded in greeting before dropping a clipboard on the table. "I present: A companion for rule six."
7. Sulu is not allowed to insist that he's already done so and that Spock is short for "Super Pompous Outrageous Can Kicker."…. Because it isn't.