7. Stinky

You've heard the saying, when it rains it pours? Well, it's almost always raining in Forks.

Or, put another way, my luck was holding true to form. Esme got the bright idea to call Tanya and see if she or anyone in her coven knew anything about Victoria that might help us find her, or fight her, or even reason with her. Hey, it could happen. But things didn't turn out so well.

Laurent had lived with Tanya's coven for a while, so we thought he might have told someone something. What we didn't count on was that Irina, Tanya's sister, had started a budding romance with Laurent and was very upset to hear that he had been killed.

Very upset are two words you never want to hear in reference to a vampire.

Carlisle called them back and spoke to Kate, Tanya's sister, while Edward and I were outside, catching up on each other's lives. We had taken a short walk in the woods behind the house. I was lying on a blanket on a soft patch of weeds, and Edward was lying just a few feet away from me. We were holding hands and just basking in each other's company, when I felt him react to something. "What is it?" I asked.

"Carlisle talking to Kate," he said, obviously distracted by what he was hearing. Edward could 'hear' Carlisle's and Kate's conversation, by listening to Carlisle's mind, even though he was almost half a mile away. Edward was being very solicitous, since losing it the night before, and quickly agreed to relay everything that he heard.

"I am sorry about Irina's loss, Kate," said Carlisle. And if I wasn't looking at Edward, watching his lips move, I would have sworn Carlisle was right there next to me. Edward's skill at mimicry was astounding. So what else is new, right?

"But he was about to kill Bella!" Edward's hand became stiff in mine, but I looked over at him and saw no other signs of reaction. "If he had succeeded, he would still be dead today—at Edward's hand. And I shudder to say it, but Edward too would be lost."

"She means that much to him?" asked Kate. And I was even more impressed with Edward's impersonation. I had never met Kate, but the woman's voice coming from his mouth sounded natural (well, natural for a vampire), beautiful and completely different from anyone I knew. I would have bet my truck that if the real Kate had been there, I could not have told the difference.

"As much as any of us means to our partners," Carlisle said solemnly.

"And she's still human?" Kate asked, surprised. "What's he going to do when..." Her voice trailed off, or Edward stopped relaying her words for a moment. But then he started up again. "But I have to support Irina here, and so will the rest of our coven. And she wants vengeance!"

"Please, Kate," Carlisle pleaded, "We have a treaty with the Quileute. We can't even be neutral here. We would have no choice but to aid them."

Kate gasped. "You would turn against your own kind, your own family, to defend a pack of wolves!?"

"They defended Bella! We owe them her life—and Edward's!"

There was a long pause, then Kate came back. "I can see your perspective Carlisle. But Irina is inconsolable. Let's hope that time will heal this wound."

Edward let out a small sigh and turned his full attention back to me, and I knew that Kate had hung up. "I don't know if it will," he said. "Vampires are very stubborn, quick to anger and slow to forgive. Some never forgive anything, but just hold their grudges for centuries. I'm just glad that Irina hasn't joined Victoria in her vendetta."

I corralled Alice in the hallway and herded her into my room the first chance I got. She looked bemused that a human, who knew what she was, could be so brazen; but I ignored that.

"Alice, what have you done to me?" I asked as soon as I got her in my room.

"What have I done?"

"I am still hopelessly, head over heals, in love with Edward!"

She didn't exactly pump her fist. But she looked like she wanted to – until my glare sobered her up. She looked at me questioningly, as if she innocently wondered what I was going on about.

"I'm also totally in love with Jacob!"

"Yes, I know. And you two are so cute together, if I haven't ever mentioned it."

"Alice! I can't be in love with both of them!"

"Why do people say things like that? Obviously you can, since you are. There's nothing you can do that can't be done."

"You know what I mean, Alice. It's an impossible situation! And why are you acting so smug? How's it a good thing that I'm still in love with Edward, when it makes things such a mess?"

"Love is its own reward – and a beautiful thing, in all its forms. And I'm happy for my brother's sake. If you didn't still love him, he would be sad."

"Well, I hate to disappoint you, but we're not getting back together. I'm with Jacob now. This whole play we're putting on for Victoria doesn't change that. If you wanted us back together, you shouldn't have left. And you sure shouldn't have told him to stay away three weeks ago."

"Oh. That."

"Yes. That. Why would you do that to me – to him, to us?"

She looked at me for such a long time before she answered that I started to wonder if she was planning to answer at all. But at last she said, "You were recovering three weeks ago. But you weren't recovered. And if Edward had come back right then, I don't know what it would have done to you."

"That's right. You don't know. You don't know everything, Alice. So why can't you let me make some decisions for myself?"

"But Bella, you are making decisions for yourself. And, by the way, it is not the decision I'd make for you, if it was up to me. I've grown fond of Jacob, but I love my brother. I wish you'd choose him. But, now that you're strong enough, it is your decision to make. It's not being made for you by desperation or heartbreak or despair, and certainly not by me. We hurt you badly, Bella. And I am so sorry for that. And I hope you do forgive us. But three weeks ago, you were too weak not to forgive us. You wouldn't even get angry! And really Bella, you should be angry. You deserve to be angry."

I glared at the smug little know it all, completely at a loss for words. I had to give her that one; I was angry – now. Finally I said, "Well, I'm not apologizing for forgiving you too quickly."

"And I'm so proud of you for that," she said with a hug. Then she was out of my room before I could come up with a retort.

That was Alice. I loved her, but she could be really infuriating. But I couldn't stay furious with her for long, especially with all that she was going through. She continued to have frightening visions – more like waking nightmares that had her looking about the way I had a few months earlier. We even considered telling Jacob the real deal just to make them stop. But when Esme suggested that – which meant it was becoming a serious plan, not just an idle thought – her visions only got worse. And we became even more convinced that Carlisle's theory was right about the chain of events that would lead to those nightmares coming true. The last time I thought about telling Jake the truth, Alice had her clearest vision yet of the Volturi attacking.

It made sense, when I thought about it. If we told Jake that the Cullens were only pretending to be the Quileute's enemies in order to protect them, then his attitude towards the Cullens would change. Worse, the rest of the Pack's would too. With their mind link, Jake's change would affect the rest of them, even if he could keep the reason for the change secret. Eventually, Victoria would be bound to notice. She would stop seeing Jacob as Edward's rival and enemy, and would start viewing him and the Pack as the Cullens' allies. And she would rethink her plans accordingly – bring in powerful allies of her own.

The next few weeks were strange and difficult ones for me. As happy as I was that Edward was back, it did complicate my life even more than it already was. I wondered if I should simplify things a bit and cut off all contact with Jacob for a while. That seemed the safest course to me, and maybe the kindest to Jacob – a clean break. I felt a sharp pain in my gut at the thought of that. The cruel irony wasn't lost on me. So I was selfishly relieved when Carlisle told me that I couldn't do that either. We needed to keep a rivalry going between Edward and Jacob. As long as that was believable – and everyone was certain that it was – it lowered the chances that Victoria would bring in the Volturi. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw a brief look of disappointment on Edward's face when Carlisle said that. Not that I could blame him; this was hard for him too.

And keeping contact with Jacob was easier said than done. It was almost a week after I moved in with the Cullens before he would even speak to me on the phone. Neither he nor Billy would answer when I called from the Cullen's, but as soon as I got back to Charlie's I was able to get him. And when I finally did get him to talk, Jacob was completely unreasonable. Even pointing out how nearly invulnerable the Cullens were, how logical it was to let them be my primary protectors from Victoria, didn't help a bit. 'I love you,' and 'I miss you' went over a little better, but not much – especially since I had to temper it with, 'But I also love Edward.' Our first phone call ended abruptly when I pointed out that I had always been up front about my feelings for Edward. I thought I might have lost him for good there, but he called back an hour later.

Gradually, we talked on the phone more and more. It was strained and frustrating, but better than silence. Jake also managed to come to the high school on the slightest pretext. That was a kind of neutral ground, and Alice would distract Edward while Jake and I caught up—provided we didn't go overboard. Alice wouldn't even allow a quick peck on the lips. Like I said, frustrating.

Charlie wasn't any happier about Edward's return than Jacob was. He was still mad at Edward for what he did to me, and he was disappointed in me for what I was doing to Jacob. It was extra frustrating to not be able to tell him anything about what was really going on. But he was the last person we could tell. I just had to resign myself to hurting and disappointing him for a while – and try not to let out my frustration on him.

And it was just as frustrating with Edward as it was with Jake. I loved being with him, but we both knew that we were asking for trouble if we let things get romantic. I had made the decision to stay human and stay with Jacob. And that meant Edward and I had to keep our relationship strictly platonic. The most we did in private was hold hands... Okay, I would sometimes rest my head against him, and that sort of thing, but nothing more. In public, however, we needed to play the roll of reconciling couple. That was an exquisite agony—and did nothing to relieve my frustration. But the worst part was that we were making no progress with Victoria.

Tanya, bless her, decided that, mad as she was at the werewolves, she was even more angry with Victoria. It was Victoria's little revenge plot that got Laurent killed, after all. (She also, I learned, had a crush on Edward, which might have given her added motivation to help him. That gave me a taste of my own medicine, as I both hoped and feared that she might square our awkward triangle.) As a peace gesture and – I would later learn – without her sisters' blessings, she told us a bit about Victoria.

The witch had a true Talent for evasion. She would never fall into a trap. She could escape from almost any situation. And to a lesser extent, she could evade roadblocks and obstacles intended to keep her out as well as in. That was why she seemed to know exactly the right time to attack, when Alice left me unguarded, just for a minute. We were all on double alert after we heard that.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Edward. "The Cullens can't spend the rest of their lives protecting me!"

Edward snorted. "Worst-case scenario, we spend the rest of your life protecting you. Seriously Bella, this is the last thing you need to worry about. We're all worried about you; of course we are, as we would be about any family member who was in danger. But protecting you is a labor of love. And I don't just mean for me; we're actually all enjoying having a project to work on. Even Rosalie is enjoying the challenge."

It was true that Rose, as I'd started calling her, had warmed up to me a bit, since I decided not to become a vampire. And all the Cullens, even Rose, did seem to enjoy protecting me—very much like the Pack had.

It was ironic and rather flattering that I seemed to be an honorary member of both a werewolf pack and a vampire coven. I now thought of both of them as my families. And amazingly, it seemed both families thought the same way about me. Even Rose and Emily were almost like sisters to me. And it seemed that they, more or less, felt the same way – or at least Emily had, before I treated Jacob so shabbily.

And it was nice, more than nice, spending so much time with Edward. But it was also confusing, and it made me feel guilty, and it made me second-guess my decision to stay with Jacob. Which made me feel even more guilty. I even felt guilty about feeling guilty. I mean, just because I thought I had it all worked out, didn't mean that there was the only way it could be, right? Why should I feel guilty for enjoying my time with Edward? Wouldn't I feel just as guilty if I was spending that time with Jake?

Aye, there was the rub, because I knew that I would. It seemed I was doomed to always be hurting one or the other, or both of them, and to pay my penance in guilt.

Thinking of causing Edward pain made me remember something else. I was nestled against him on the couch, in one of the Cullen's guest dens, ostensibly watching TV. I swear, I could not have said what was on if my life depended on it. Some crime drama, I think. Anyway, I was feeling a little guilty about being so comfortable, and I was afraid that if I didn't strike up some kind of non-romantic conversation we might do something we would regret. "What did you mean when you said that my blood has no more power over you?" I asked him. "I've been meaning to ask."

Edward stared at me with a surprised look on his face. "I told you, almost three weeks ago, how close I came to killing you. Since then, you've been alone with me, with my mouth practically pressed against your neck—sometimes actually pressed against your neck—almost daily. And you're just now getting around to wondering if you're safe?"

"I'm not wondering if I'm safe," I said, slightly offended. "I'm just wondering what you meant. And if I'm making you... uncomfortable."

He'd probably lie if I was. One thing I liked about Rose was that she would tell me unpleasant truths. Like when I observed that, even if Victoria manged to get in a good bite on one of the Cullens, she wouldn't have time to burn the body – as long as another Cullen or two was nearby. Rose told me it wasn't that simple. Vampire venom was like acid to an open wound. In a small cut, it would leave a scar. With an amputation, it could make reattachment impossible. With decapitation... mercy killing might be the only option. Rose had not, of course, excreted any venom when she decapitated Edward. (I knew it had to have been her.)

Edward took just a second to compose his answer to my question. "I have known in my heart and mind," he said, "that I could not live another day if I killed you, practically since we first met. But my body didn't know it until I thought you were actually dead. That was the greatest pain, the most horrible agony, I have ever felt. The painful transformation from human to vampire ranks only a distant second. It doesn't even begin to compare. Now my body instinctively recoils from anything that might cause that pain again. Instinctively. I don't even have to think about. Now, I hardly even notice your scent. I just shut it out."

"Oh, so now I don't even smell good to you anymore?" I asked in a hurt voice. The funny thing was that I didn't have to try very hard for that tone. Hey, everybody likes to feel special, even if it does put you in danger.

Edward grinned and breathed in deeply, taking in my scent and holding it like a perfume tester.

Then he got a very strange look on his face.

For just a second, I was nervous. Had I goaded him into doing something reckless? Was I bleeding somewhere without noticing it, I wondered? Was he about to react the way Jasper had at my party—the way he and Jasper had?

If so, I was dead. There was no one here to save me this time. I had developed the habit of being very careful not to nick myself, but I was still a natural klutz. Maybe I should have let my legs go European. But I just hated that look. When was my period due, anyway?

Edward could not read my mind, but he could read my expressions. A sideways look, and a snort from him told me that I was worrying for nothing. He sniffed at the air again, more slowly this time, and his brow wrinkled.

"Alice!" he shouted.

He hadn't even finished her name, when Alice came dancing into the room. She shut the door behind her. "What on earth do you need a sewing needle for?" she asked, holding out the tiny implement. It must be convenient to have a sister like Alice.

Edward took the needle from her and rubbed it vigorously with his thumb and forefinger, sharpening it and killing any germs in the process. Then he blew on it to cool it back down. "Bella," he said in a worried voice. "could you hold out your hand, please? I promise this won't hurt. Oh, and hold your nose."

He took my hand and looked over at Alice. "Do you need to leave the room?"

Alice looked back at Edward incredulously. "I'm fine," she said, impying she wasn't sure if Edward was.

Edward looked back at me to make sure I was ready, and lightly pricked my finger with the needle. I barely even felt it. I was not surprised that he found a nice vein and did not hit any nerves. A tiny drop of blood formed on my skin. Edward leaned toward it just a little, then thought better of that. He touched the drop with his finger and brought it up to his nose and then to his lips. His eyes narrowed and seemed to glaze over, and it almost looked like he was going into a trance. His mouth did not close, as he pulled his finger away. He froze like that for several seconds before he turned to look at me in wonder.

I had a bad feeling about this.

Edward still seemed dazed when Alice called out to him.

"Well, was it as good as it's been hyped up to be?" she asked.

Edward shook himself and grinned back at her. "Taste for yourself," he said.

Alice looked shocked, but she saw that he was serious. She looked at me for some sign of consent, but I was still mulling over that last question I had asked myself, counting backwards in my head, so I basically ignored her.

She walked slowly over to us, sniffing the air cautiously as she came. Her look said that she could already smell what he was talking about, but she still came over and repeated Edward's actions, using her finger to get a drop of my blood. Her eye's got big the instant her finger touched her tongue. Her reaction was almost as strong as Edward's had been.

"Is that... wolf?" she asked incredulously.

"You shouldn't need to taste it to get something that obvious, Alice," Edward chided. As he spoke, he swiped his finger across mine again. It must have had a little venom on it. It sizzled like peroxide and cauterized the wound. He wasn't taking any chances on a repeat of my birthday party. The spot was so tiny that I couldn't even see it, much less feel it.

Alice concentrated on the taste in her mouth, and her eyes got even bigger as she looked at me.

"Bella, you... you're... do you...?"

Wow. I never thought I'd see a vampire at a loss like that—especially not Alice.

I gulped. "If you're about to say that I'm going to have a baby, I guess I already guessed," I said.

Six weeks ago, was the answer to my question. A few days before Victoria's attack. That was my last period.

"Uh, if you were going to say something else, pretend I didn't say that." I added lamely.

"No, that was it," said Alice grinning. "So you're... going to...? I mean, you've already decided, to keep it?"

"Like you didn't already know."

"No, I didn't," she corrected me. "I haven't been able to see you in... weeks. Since you went to La Push, after the fight at Knife Point. First you were just fuzzy, or rather, distant and indistinct. I couldn't see you in La Push because you were surrounded by werewolves, but I saw that you would be going with me to greet Carlisle and Esme that evening, so I wasn't worried about it. But then your future just winked out. I couldn't see anything, no matter how far ahead I looked. I thought you were about to die! I called to warn you, remember? And I haven't been able to see you ever since. It's worried me, let me tell you. But I thought your destiny had simply gotten too entangled with the werewolves'."

"That... sounds... about right," I mused. "I mean, in a way, I guess it has. Very entangled." I rubbed my lower abdomen. "Self-fulfilling prophecy," I muttered to myself, as I thought back to the events three weeks ago.

"What?" asked Edward.

"If Alice hadn't seen my future disappear, she wouldn't have called to warn me that I was about to die. And I wouldn't have gone off alone with Jacob. And my future wouldn't have disappeared."

Alice looked shocked and chagrined. "That sort of thing doesn't usually happen to me," she said ruefully. "But all these blind spots..."

"Ugh," I groaned, rudely interrupting her. "I am soooo stupid! I know I should have...

"Or rather, I shouldn't have...

"But I was just getting over my period! I was two weeks away from being fertile!"

Edward and Alice looked at me sympathetically.

"I imagine Jacob's spermatozoa are a bit hardier than a normal human's," Alice observed, stating what should have been obvious.

Boy, did I feel stupid.

"You do still have options here, Bella," Edward pointed out. "If you..."

"No," I said decisively. "I mean, yes, I know I do. But no, I'm not going to do that."

We all stood quietly for a minute. Then, with a sound of wonder in her voice, Alice said, "You're going to have a baby."

"A stinky baby," Edward pointed out.

That seemed to trigger some kind of recognition in Alice. "A stinky baby," she repeated slowly.

"A very stinky baby," Edward said with a grin. "The house is going to positively reek."

Alice looked at Edward, and a huge smile slowly spread across her face. She turned and asked me, "Can I tell Esme? Rose? Everyone?"

"Knock yourself out," I said. I was glad that she looked so happy. I wished I was. I kept making decisions that I wasn't too thrilled with, but it didn't seem I had any other choice. "But don't call it a..."

"Stinky baby!" Alice sang. Then she ran out of the room singing, "Esme! Rosalie! You'll never guess!"

"Stinky baby," I finished. "You're going to give him or her, or me, a complex."

Edward chuckled. "All babies stink, Bella," he explained. "Men don't care, and women don't even seem to notice. But they all stink. To humans, that is. To vampires they smell..."

I put my hands to his lips so fast I practically slapped him. I did not want to hear Edward say that babies smelled delicious.

Grinning, he said through my fingers, "That's one reason we can't have a normal baby in the house. You have no idea how much we, especially Esme and Rose, wish that we could."

He barely managed to get that out before Esme and Rosalie were in the room, literally squealing with joy! They peppered me with questions, and Rose begged to see my belly, which of course looked perfectly normal, except Rose swore that it didn't.

I was totally shocked at how Rose, usually so cold and distant to me, was suddenly acting like a school girl meeting a pop star. And the men were no better. They were all standing around, trying to act cool about it though.

"I think we should take Bella over to the hospital and run some preliminary tests," said Carlisle. "Edward, would you like to drive?" He was as excited as anyone, doing only a slightly better job of acting cool than the others. I thought that playing the 'I'm a doctor' card was a pretty sneaky way to push to the front of the line, but nobody called him on it.

While everyone else was dancing around excitedly—or milling around, in the case of the men—I was thinking. There was something about this that was not right. It was almost like a premonition, or at least an intuition, or maybe it was just embarrassment. But I was suddenly very nervous. "Uh, how about if Rose takes us?" I asked. And I'm sure I blushed. This didn't take much acting. All I had to do was think about Edward being there, under the circumstances.

Rose quickly agreed, and the three of us went to the county hospital where Carlisle worked. (They had hired him back as soon as he got back in town.) I knew there wouldn't be any problem with Rose at the hospital. She had will power that bordered on a talent. She wasn't usually as motivated as Edward or Carlisle to expose herself to pain and temptation, but when she needed to, she could do it. Carlisle got us a private room and left to get some equipment.

"Rose," I asked nervously as soon as we were alone, "did you ever meet Jacob? Before three weeks ago, I mean?"

"Sure," she answered. "Last year at the prom."

"Right," I remembered too, now that she reminded me. Jake had come to pass on a warning from his father, and we had shared a dance. That was a nice memory.

"Did you notice how he smelled?" I asked.

"No," she said. Her eyes narrowed as she began to realize, or at least wonder, where I was going with these questions.

"Wouldn't you have noticed, if he smelled like a werewolf?" I asked. "Wouldn't Edward? Jake tapped Edward on the shoulder to cut in."

"Edward would have thrown him through a wall," she mused.

"I don't think the wolf gene normally kicks in until they're almost grown," I said.

She thought about that for a moment. Then her eyes flicked towards the door. She said quickly, "Let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe the wolf smell is like a baby's hair. That sometimes comes in, then falls out, before coming in again."

I was thinking that Rose was probably right, and that I was worrying over nothing. I'm sure pregnancy turns most women into a worry warts – most fathers too. Carlisle busied himself with tests and then he called a nurse to bring in a sonograph. Rose and I looked at each other. It seemed awfully early for that.

"When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?" he asked me.

I told him.

He kept the conversation light until the middle of the sonogram. "And you're sure you know when?" he asked, with just a touch of confusion in his voice.

"I've only done it one time," I said. "Well, several times. One night."

Rose bumped her shoulder against mine and said, "You go, girl!"

Carlisle ignored that and said, "That should put the fetus about twenty four days old, forty two at the most."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but my periods are always very regular. I shouldn't have been fertile until twenty four days ago, twenty seven at most."

Carlisle nodded, but looked worried. "I believe you Bella, and I agree with your estimates on when conception most likely occurred. But the crown-rump length indicates a fetus at least seventy two days old. Probably seventy six."

Rose an I both started at this news. I had already realized that something must be wrong, but this...? "How accurate is that?" I asked, looking at the blurry image on the monitor.

"Normally, very," said Carlisle. "If you were a normal patient, if the fetus had a normal father, I would be telling you that this indicated very abnormal growth—probably cancer or a thyroid condition. And I would be advising termination." He looked worried. But more than that, he looked sad.

I swallowed and looked over at Rose. She looked back at me and squeezed my hand in support.

"Let me do an amniocentesis," he said reassuringly. "That should tell us more."

An alarm went off in my head. I loved Carlisle like a second father, but he did have a history of deciding what was best for me, and then acting, without even bothering to get my input. And I got very nervous that he might decide that I wasn't competent to decide what to do here. I believed him, that he did not think of me as a pet; but I was sure that he thought of me as a child, or maybe as a not-quite competent person. And maybe to a super-genius, three-hundred-year-old vampire, that's what I was. But I was also an adult, able to make my own decisions, right or wrong.

Somehow, Rose seemed to pick up on my nervous vibes, or maybe she just had the same thought I had. She knew Carlisle better than I did, after all. "Let's get a nurse to do that," she said, a hard look on her face.

Carlisle looked at her in surprise. For a moment, they locked eyes and glared at each other. Then Carlisle went to call a nurse in.

"How far do you want to push this, Bella?" Rose asked.

"Isn't there some risk in an amnio?" I asked. She took that as the answer it was; I would do nothing to endanger my baby. I would do anything to keep him or her safe. But Rose did talk me into the amniocentesis. She pointed out that it was impossible to go through this risk-free. The risk in an amnio was very small, and the information might be helpful to both me and the baby.

Nothing looked normal, of course. But what was normal for a werewolf? There were twenty four chromosome pairs. Normal humans only had twenty three. Twenty four would normally indicate some kind of genetic condition, like Down's syndrome or Turner's syndrome. But Rose pointed out that vampires had twenty five chromosome pairs. So, for all we knew, twenty four might be normal for a werewolf. The only thing we really learned was that it was a girl. That surprised me. I don't know why I had thought it was a boy, but I had already started mentally calling 'him' Jeb – for Jacob Edward Black.

Alice I'm not. But I am adaptable. I had a new name picked out before we got home.

Renesmee.

I hoped Jake would like it.

"To paraphrase Henry Ford," said Carlisle, grinning, "I'm sure you can choose any name you want, as long as it's Black."

"Huh?"

"Grandpa humor," said Rosalie, rolling her eyes. "Henry Ford used to say of the Model T, 'You can have any color you like, as long as it's black."

I giggled, partly at the joke, but more at the thought of Carlisle as a grandpa.

Over the next few days, Carlisle's worries intensified. But Edward was much, much worse. And that worried me. I knew how overprotective he could be. He literally lived for my well being. But sometimes he interpreted well being to just mean 'physical safety'. That's why he had left me, six months earlier, and put me through an experience that was, in some ways, worse than death. That's why he had almost attacked Jacob – even though Jake had saved my life at least three times over, and even though the imagined danger had already passed. Or at least we thought it had. What would Edward do if he thought a fetus – not even a person yet, in his mind – was putting me in danger?

Rose became my constant bodyguard. If she wasn't by my side, Emmett or Esme was, and usually several others. Even when I was home at Charlie's, one of them was always nearby. Rose met me in my room every night, just like Edward used to (but without the romance). And I knew that at least two more vampires were always hiding nearby. Also, I was not allowed to see Jake. His sense of smell was as good as Edwards. He would probably be less likely to notice the smell of werewolf than Edward was, but her smell was only going to grow stronger as my stomach grew bigger. And the need for secrecy now was greater than ever. If Victoria found out about the baby... I shuddered at the thought. It would be so much easier for her to kill the baby than it was to kill me. One phone call was all it would take. The Volturi would wipe out the werewolves 'to the last cub and papoose,' and unborn child.

While Rose and Esme played bodyguard, Edward and Carlisle threw themselves into research. When they had exhausted all other avenues available, Carlisle decided to take a risk. He talked to Billy Black. Jake could not keep this secret from the Pack, but Billy could.

I have to hand it to Billy, he adapted quickly. After years of hating the Cullens, and weeks of resenting them, he was suddenly a co-conspirator. He even went to the hospital and gave some blood samples for Carlisle to study. As Carlisle suspected, he had a twenty fourth chromosome, just like Renesmee. But unlike Renesmee, his was wrapped in a protean shell that made it dormant. One mystery solved. But that still didn't tell us why Renesmee's 'W' chromosome was so very active – so much younger than any werewolf before her. We still didn't know why that had happened, or what it would do to her.

And I continued to grow.

Carlisle sat me and Rose and Esme, my two main champions, down for a talk. "Bella," he said. "You and Jacob can try again later. You can have many children together. But this one... This one is going to kill you if you don't let me get it out."

"Why would it be any better next time," I asked. "Why is this one different?"

"Because, this one is surrounded by vampires," he said simply. "Billy Black believes that the presence of vampires is the surest catalyst for the change from human to werewolf. And he has good evidence to support it. There have been cases of boys becoming werewolves very young – not this young, but young – when a vampire threatened the tribe. If he's right, and I believe that he is, then living with us—staying with us so much—has triggered the change far too early."

"Maybe if I went to live in La Push?"

"I doubt that would work," said Carlisle. "When we left last time, there were a couple of boys in the early stages. I asked Mr. Black, and they did complete the transformation after we left. The presence of vampires can trigger the change, but once it's started, it will probably run its course, with or without us. And even if that did work, I think it would kill the baby. Your body is not keeping up with her. Her supernatural strength is the only thing keeping her alive. Staying with us is killing you, but leaving us would almost certainly kill her."

Carlisle looked at me for a while, and when I didn't say anything, he started the lecture: "Bella, the fetus is growing much too fast for your body to keep up. And what if it phases? You would not survive that. The werewolves are ten times heavier in their wolf forms than they are as humans! You can have other children. Jacob's children. And you can live to be their mother. Jacob would be the first to tell you how important that is. This one... this one could tear you apart."

It was my turn to say something. And I had given this a lot of thought. "I'm already being torn apart," I said. "Jake and Edward, I love them both so much, but they're tearing me apart. When I'm with Edward, I feel guilty about Jake. And when I'm with Jake, even just talking on the phone, I feel guilty about Edward. I love them both, but I can't give either of them my whole heart.

"But this one...," and I rubbed my stomach, "this one I can love unconditionally, with no guilt at all. She might kill me; I'm prepared for that. But she'll never hurt me. And... well, I have made my choice between Jake and Edward, conflicted as I am, but I will never stop loving Edward. But if Edward was even partly responsible for killing Jake's and my baby, the physical embodiment of our love, that would taint my love for him forever. Twist it. Instead of choosing Jacob, I would have no choice but to go to him. No choice at all."

"But that would taint my love for Jacob too! It can't be like that. Who I go with has to be my choice; it can't be forced. Not like that."

"So I would lose Jacob too, in the end. And I'd be left with nothing. Do you think I could survive that Carlisle? Do you think I'd even want to?"

Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment, but then he looked straight at me and said, with tears in his eyes, "If she phases, you will die."

"Then we have to keep her from phasing," I said simply. "We'll sing to her and play Mozart. Werewolves phase by accident if they get upset, so we'll just have to keep her from getting upset."

Sometimes, stating a problem aloud really helps you see the solution. And as soon as I heard myself say that, I saw it. We all did. And we all said it together: "Jasper!"

Carlisle went to ask him if he would be willing to help me for the next few weeks. As if there was any question. Jasper was as exited about the baby as anyone.

Everyone came into the room a few minutes later. Of course, Edward had heard the whole thing—and everyone else's internal commentary as well. There was no need to explain my decision to him. He came up to me, and he hugged me with such gentleness and passion that for a moment I forgot who's baby I was carrying. Forgot that he had ever left, or that there had been any tension between us. Forgot that there was anyone else in the room (which was slightly embarrassing later). Heck I even forgot my own name! Of course, I forgot that we were trying to refrain from kissing. I knew I would pay for that later, with an extra helping of guilt. But I thought that Jake would probably understand anyway. Sometimes your happiness is just too great to hold in.

Pure happiness is like a sand painting. It's not meant to last long. The following evening, we got a phone call. Irina wanted satisfaction. She demanded a duel with Jacob – to the death.