Sessions 7: Shopping for Caskets

"How's the cat?" House asked jovially sliding into the chair across from her in the cafeteria. She was startled by his sudden appearance. Apparently she'd been so deep in her day dreaming out the window that she didn't even here his three-legged gate come up swiftly along side her. He was the slickest three-legged ninja she'd come across in her travels yet.

"We're acclimating, " Cate answered picking at the corner of her sandwich.

"Actually, I don't really care. I just figured it was a good opening for me to come over here and steal your cheese doodles, " he announced swiping the little blue bag before she had a chance to grab it back. He raised his eyebrows at her and poured a mouthful into his trap, chewing rather obnoxiously in his triumph.

"Can I get you anything else, soda, napkin, barf bag? Oh wait, that one's for me…" she said grimacing at his table manners. She assumed he was going for the caveman, frat boy look today since he was extra scruffy and was wearing a very wrinkled t-shirt that read "Weekend Forecast, Mostly Drunk with a chance of Horny".

"Sandwich would be good. Are you gonna eat the rest of that half?"

Cate pushed the tray to his side of the table. "No, I'm done. Have at it."

"Thank God, do you know how long it's been since I have had a lunch," he said grabbing the second half of her roast beef on whole wheat with Swiss, lettuce and tomato. "I can't get anyone to buy me lunch since Wilson quit. O'Shea looked promising but I think he wanted me to put out." He made a face and picked off the lettuce and replaced it with four cheese doodles. "For next time, we eat pastrami on rye, no pickles."

"I'll keep that in mind." Wiping her hands on her crumpled napkin, Cate sighed and leaned back against her chair. "So, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I'm avoiding Cuddy, " he said.

"Gee, thanks, I'm glad I rate as side-diversion from work responsibility. You sure know how to make a girl feel special, " Cate said sarcastically.

House shrugged. "What can I say, you are a fair sight better looking than Coma Guy."

Cate laughed. "I should hope so." She crossed her arms under her chest ironically remembering that she had picked out her sexy black silk blouse today, the one that was just sheer enough to make out her bra through it. Her movement had apparently drawn his attention to the fact as well because he was staring unabashedly at her cleavage. The butterflies in her stomach threw a party while the heat from their barbeque rose up her chest to her neck. Note to self: Never wear this blouse to work again.

House smiled and waggled his eyes brow. "Nice blouse."

"I wore it for Carmichael in radiology, " she said to cover up her embarrassment.

"Carmichael's gay, " House said a bit too forcefully. She arched an eyebrow at him curiously in response to his jealous tone. He immediately powered down and changed subjects, "I can't meet with you today."

"Oh, how come?" Oh good lord, as that disappointment coming out of her mouth?

"I have to crack a kid's brain open at 2:30, " he said causally, like this was an everyday occurrence.

"Oh, well I suppose that rates a little higher on the importance scale…"

He looked around rather anxiously. "I'd much rather have to talk to you than cut a kid's head open hoping to find answers."

"It does sound a tiny bit drastic, " she responded. She wasn't sure how to interpret his last statement.

"It's a last resort…Shit…" he looked over to the entrance to the cafeteria and grumbled when he saw Cuddy making a bee-line for where there where sitting. He looked like a petulant child who was just caught driving his tonka trucks through the flower beds in the rain.

"You brow beat a mother into consenting to do exploratory surgery on her child's brain?" Cuddy's tone was high and incredulous.

"If that the spin you want to put on it…"

"You cannot do exploratory surgery on the brain of a twelve year old, House, " she insisted vehemently. "I'm cancelling the surgery and scheduling a CT."

House rose from the chair and pulled himself up to his full height. He was obviously trying to use his height advantage to intimidate her. "Already did the CT at 6mm slices. CT shows nothing, the contrast CT shows nothing. The only way to tell for sure what's screwing with her brain is to go in there and look up close."

She wasn't shaken in the least. No doubt from umpteen rounds of battle with him over the years. "I'm not going to let you go on a fishing expedition in a twelve year old's brain. Find another way."

His vehemence was evident with the disdain that dripped from his every word as he said, "There is no other way. She is going to die in the next twenty-four hours if we don't find what is causing her organs to shut down." He paused to temper his irritation and started again. "The mother signed off on the procedure."

"After you showed her a catalog of caskets that she can shop from once her daughter's dead!" Cuddy was beside herself in anger and frustration and House at least had the grace to look chagrinned. Cate sat and watched the melodrama unfold before her with a morbid sense of curiosity. The tactics that House employed to treat his patients were notoriously unconventional if not borderline illegal and Cuddy's little Dutch-boy act with her finger in the dam was quite impressive. It was a sick dance of wills to be sure and to watch it unfold before her was relatively intriguing.

"She'll need the catalog if you don't let me do this procedure, " House stated gravely. He paused for emphasis watching her intently boring his will into her with his brilliant blue eyes. And then it came. He saw the chink in her armor appear and he went in for the final salvo. "You have the damn paper signed. If the girl dies because of the surgery we're off the hook, if we don't do the surgery, she'll die anyway. Either way she's going to be shopping for caskets."

"Do the damn procedure, " Cuddy acquiesced much to her own dismay.

House was off in a flash as quick as he had come. Cuddy sighed wearily and slid into the seat House had vacated. Cate sat quietly regarding the other woman. She didn't envy her position in the least. As Dean of Medicine the blame ultimately fell on her. She was the one to have to explain and account for all of the decisions made, good or bad, life or death. House's renegade fire sale approach to medicine was an ethical and legal nightmare and she was the one left holding the bag when things went wrong. No, Cate certainly didn't envy Cuddy's position.

"That man will drive me to drink one day, " Cuddy said running a hand over her face.

"Is it always like this, " Cate asked.

"Sometimes. Sometimes it's worse, " Cuddy declared.

Cate shook her head. "You have earned you're angel wings for today."

"Yeah except I'm Jewish, " she said with a smile.

Cate laughed. "Metaphorically then."

"He's been coming to see you, " Cuddy asked her carefully.

"We've met about five times."

Cuddy nodded. "It seems to be working. He's been less of an ass to everyone, even nurse's in the clinic, that is up until today."

"I can work magic but not over night, " Cate quipped, "there's some serious mojo needed for that one."

"Gimme the voodoo doll, I'll be more than happy to stick the pins in, " Cuddy said excitedly.

Cate laughed, Cuddy's enthusiasm duly noted. "So how did you get him to come to talk to me?"

"I didn't do anything, " she tilted her head confused.

"Oh, I thought you must have done something to … motivate him some how, " Cate said, now confused herself.

"No, " Cuddy said shaking her head. "He must really miss talking to Wilson."

Cate nodded unwilling to divulge anything more. "You didn't stipulate that this was mandatory?"

"No, not at all. I mean, I have some serious dirt on him and I should make psychiatric counseling mandatory, but I really can't make him face what goes on inside that twisted head of his anymore than I can I can make him treat patients' families with more respect than he does."

Cate considered what she was saying for a moment. He was coming to see her on his own accord, willingly subjecting himself to scrutiny and emotional analysis. With him, that in and of itself was suspect. What did he want out of this deal? What did he hope to achieve? Did he really want help or was this all an elaborate ruse to get an in with her? Curious, she wasn't sure how she felt about that. On one hand she was glad that he was benefitting from their conversations, whether he'd admit it or not. On the other hand if it wasn't for his own emotional stability, she was a little irritated that his intentions weren't genuine. Hmm, she'd have to look into that one. Easy always leads to hard.