Chapter 7- A Moonlit Path

While we had dinner with the chairman he didn't stop fussing over me about the trip, so I didn't have time to talk to Zero. It's funny, while I was sitting there I didn't think I wanted anything else then to just be near him. But as I walked back to my dorm, the emptiness and the things I didn't do and should've done dropped down on me and I was suddenly depressed. I wanted to spend more time with him. I wanted to be with him now and forever. I sigh, and look up at the sky filled with stars. As the academy was located in the forest and there were hardly any lights on, the stars shone brightly and winked at me. The moon was bright and guided my path, creating a bright blue walkway to my dorm. As I imagined the loneliness of my dorm, my steps slowed. I didn't want to go back. So, instead, I turned right and headed for the rose garden. The garden was a little walk away from the girls dorm but was near the boys dorm. But since it was covered with rosebushes i didnt have to worry about anybody seeing me when I got inside. I go there with Yori sometimes. We always went there whenever we wanted to talk about something private. It was there that she had told me about her being engaged. I finaaly arrive at the garden, either side of the path were blooming with red and white roses. I knew inside there were all different colors of roses at different sections. I went through the entrance and instantly felt I was in a fairytale. The garden was enclosed by an expanse of brick walls with vines dancing on them. The moonlight reflected off the small stream gliding across the path, the roses were big and in full- bloom, the leaves and bushes were swaying with the wind, and when they did, petals would fall and float in the air. Everything was dark and all I could hear was the wind and the trickling of the stream. I walked to the swing hanging from the only tree in the garden. I sat on the hard wood and started moving myself slowly.

I started thinking about Zero, it scared me how badly I wanted to look at his face, I wanted to feel his presence, I wanted to know that he was here. I wanted him. It scared the hell out of me. I had never felt like this before, my mind was fuzzy and my stomach clenched and my heart was tight and yearning. Even so, I felt light. I wanted to fly. I wanted to jump off the roof of the nearest building and test gravity to see if I had defied it. I knew I was being stupid and irrational. I was obsessing over him, but I did love him, so I wanted to indulge in him. I wanted to think of him forever. I wanted to be with him forever.

I hear a twig snap and jerk my head around to find Zero standing there. My heart jerks and I tell myself to breath. I knew he snapped the twig on purpose to let me know he was here, otherwise I would never have heard his swift movements. I blushed hard, glad that there wasn't enough light to illuminate it. It was amazing how embarrassed I was with seeing him the instant I was thinking about being with him forever. It felt he had heard every word I had said. My face burned uncomfortably. I knew that was ridiculous. Zero wasn't a mind reader, even so, I was cautious about what he would say next. He didn't talk for a few minutes, but then he spoke.

'What are you doing here?' he asks, his voice is like a whisper and my heart starts to beat fast. didn't he notice these reactions, I'm sure his vampire instincts could pick up the quickening of my heartbeat and the shortness of breath, the blood rushing to my face. If he did, he probably ignored it or didn't think anything of it. I was suddenly depressed, he would probably say I was being stupid if I told him I like him. He would never think of me like that. Tears threatened to come out but I forced them back, and made my voice steady as I answered to him.

'It's the last day before school and guardian duties start so I was just taking a break before everything turns hectic,' I tell him, the silent atmosphere diminishing as I spoke.

I turn around and start swaying on the swing, not really going back and forth, but taking slow rounds,

'What about you?' I ask.

'I saw you walk in here from the dorm.'

I jump, his voice coming suddenly loud, I turn and find his body a small distance from my back. He held onto the edge of my swing and pushed slowly, I blushed. I felt like a child, yet strangely, I felt loved. I took pleasure in the fact that Zero would never do this to just anyone. I felt a powerful surge of protectiveness come from him, like when we were kids and I would force him to push me, he would do it gently since I would easily fall from the unstable swing. I felt giddy, and laughed to myself.

'What's so funny,' he asks, his voice getting high and low as I swung back and forth, towards and away from him. I enjoyed the feelings of his palms slowly and gently pushing my back. The contact sent shivers through my body.

'I was remembering when you used to push me on the swing when we were younger,' I said, my voice high since I felt giddy.

I heard him chuckle. My heart soared, and beat harder against my ribcage.

'I remember, I never wanted to go outside and you used to drag me from my room to push you on this thing. You were so stubborn, no scratch that, you're still stubborn,' he says, a smile evident in his voice.

'Well you were always so quiet and boring, but I always had so much fun playing with you,' I said, pouting.

He was silent and our talk suddenly came to a halt. I wonder what he was thinking. He stated to slow the strength of the pushes so I soon came to stop. His hands rested on the ropes holding the swing above me. His firm body was almost pressing against mine. It suddenly became very hard to breath.

'Yuki…' he whispers.

I want to turn around, but I knew I would kiss him if I did. I knew it. My heart is thumping and I'm afraid he can hear it. But I wanted to kiss him. I'm about to twist my head when he speaks again.

'Are you afraid of me?' he ask just as softly as before.

I freeze for a second. Then I get off the swing and turn to him in surprise. What was he thinking? There was no light for me to see his expression, on top of that his hair covered his eyes. I wanted to know what he was thinking. How could he ever think I was afraid of him. I suddenly realize that he did, in fact, notice the reactions of my heart whenever he came near me.

I take a step towards him, his hands still holding the ropes of the swing. I bring my hand to his face and push his hair away. He looks surprised and I see his hands twitch where they hold the ropes. As he relaxes, his expression returns. Sincere and soft and sad. I want to cry. He looks away from my stare.

'Zero, there is no way I would ever be afraid of you. You're the only person in this world who I would never in my life be afraid of.'

He looks at me, 'Never say never.'

'Never.'

He looks at me, and I look at him. I don't break my gaze from his. I would never leave him, I love him. I sigh and lets go of his hair, before moving my hand away, I flick his hair to the side so that I can see his eyes. He's looking at me. I smile at him as I recede my hands.

'That's better.'

He smiles at me and my heart breaks. I'm glad he didn't ask me why my heart would act the way it did when he was near me, I wouldn't know what to say.

'I'm going back now,' I say after a moment of silence, wrapping my arms around myself, 'goodnight Zero.'

'Goodnight Yuki,' he says, he brings his hand to my face and pushes a strand of hair on my face behind my ears. I don't breathe. The places where his hands touch my face tingles. I don't want to move, I want to stay with him all night, I want time to stop. There are so many things I want. Selfish things. I want to cry again, but I don't, I smile to him and walk out of the garden back to my dorm.