Chapter 7

~ Merlin ~

The days passed slowly. Even though Gaius's magic was able to heal most of Merlin's wounds, Gaius refused to let Merlin continue his normal activities until he was fully healed. During that time, Merlin didn't see Arthur, not once. It seemed like the king was sincere about his words.

Merlin was mind-boggled. He couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. He couldn't figure out how Arthur could do something like that and then pretend nothing ever happened. Merlin didn't think he would ever be able to forget about the kiss. It was always there. In the back of his mind. The things he had felt would never go away.

Because in that moment that Arthur kissed him, Merlin forgot he was a manservant. He even forgot Arthur was the king. All he could think about was Arthur's warm lips pressed to his own and the electric feeling that surged through him during the kiss. Merlin felt undeniably happy about it.

Merlin knew Arthur wouldn't be able to avoid him forever. After eight days of being confined to his own chambers, Merlin would finally be able to leave and resume his normal manservant responsibilities. He would finally get to see Arthur again.

He didn't even complain as Gaius made him swallow the foul potion he has had to take twice a day for the past eight days. The second the disgusting liquid was gone, Merlin hopped off his bed with a huge smile on his face.

He knew he wouldn't get to see Arthur right now, Arthur would be training, but he was happy for some sense of normality. He hurried to Arthur's chambers, ready to straighten them up and scrub the floors and perform all the duties that had been neglected in his absence. Merlin had never been so excited at the prospect of chores.

But when he opened the door, he saw Arthur's chambers were spotless. More than that, there was someone polishing the wood on Arthur's bed meticulously.

"Who are you?" Merlin asked surprised. The man was dressed similarly to him and for the most part, looked very similar.

The man looked up, his face consistently neutral. "Ah. You must be Merlin," he said in his boring monotone. "Glad to see your better. I have been assisting the king in your absence. My name is George."

"Well I'm not absent anymore, so you can leave," Merlin said harshly. He knew he shouldn't take his anger out on George. He was just so angry that Arthur had replaced him. He guessed it would have been farfetched to believe that Arthur would have just gone eight days without

George looked at Merlin surprised. He looked like he was about to respond, but then one look at Merlin's expression caused him to nod and scurry from Arthur's chambers.

For a while, Merlin just stood in the center of Arthur's chambers, unsure what to do. He was pulled from his thoughts by a flash of lightning then the deep booming of thunder. He looked at the window, surprised to see the darkness that has spread over Camelot.

He knew what this would mean. It would be raining soon. Arthur would be back not long after that, but he would be soaking wet. Even he wasn't cruel enough to keep his knights out in that weather for long, but he wouldn't stop training until it started to rain. He prepared Arthur's bath in his basin then left to get Arthur some lunch.

He had to wait a while outside the kitchen while the cook finished preparing Arthur's meal. When he finally was able to make his way back to Arthur's chambers, he could feel his excitement peak. Regardless of whether Arthur was going to pretend nothing had happened, Merlin was going to see him again.

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers without knocking and felt himself coming to an abrupt halt at the scene before him. He felt Arthur's food slip from his hands and fall to the ground with a large clatter.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Arthur was kissing Gwen. It wasn't anything Merlin hadn't seen before, he just wasn't expecting it. He had never considered that Arthur might just continue his relationship with Gwen despite the kiss. He would have thought Arthur would have at least talked to him first. And not just have left things the way they were.

At the sound of the platter falling, Arthur and Gwen broke apart. Arthur looked guilty, while Gwen just looked happy to see Merlin alright. "Merlin!" She said, the joy obvious in her tone. Merlin wasn't looking at her though. He was looking right at Arthur.

"Merlin," he said quietly. Merlin just shook his head. He wasn't going to stay and listen to Arthur's explanation about how they could never be together and how the people of Camelot would never approve. Merlin knew all of this, but he hadn't thought that Arthur would move on with Gwen. He had thought Arthur would respect Merlin's feelings more. Merlin turned and spun around, running out of the room. He could hear Arthur shouting his name, but he didn't care.

He didn't stop running until he had ran out of the palace into the gloomy courtyard. He was vaguely aware of all the people bustling about, trying to get done what they needed so they could get out of the rain.

~ Arthur ~

Arthur couldn't help himself when he ran away from Merlin. He was scared, so scared of the feelings his manservant stirred in him. He didn't want to believe he could feel that way with a man.

He never went to see Merlin during the day anymore. He would sneak into Gaius's chambers in the dark of the night to catch a glimpse of how Merlin was doing. He daren't ask Gaius how Merlin was doing, for fear Gaius would realize Arthur's true feelings.

He didn't know when Merlin would be back, but on Merlin's second day of recovery, Arthur was woken up by a man who was dressed similarly to how Merlin dressed. Arthur was confused for a moment and thought this was actually Merlin until his vision cleared and he was able to make out the distinct facial differences.

The man introduced himself as George. Arthur tried to accept him, but after he made a joke about brass, Arthur tried to be in his chambers as little as possible.

One distraction he found was Gwen. She was almost as worried about Merlin as Arthur had been. He never did anything with her, just spoke to her, sought her council. He couldn't do that to Merlin. He knew he would need to talk to Merlin about the kiss.

But for days, he managed to avoid that. It was over a week after Merlin had woken up, that Arthur ended training early. He was so distracted. He knew he would have to talk to Merlin and soon. He couldn't keep going on like this. He went to Gaius's chambers only to find out that Merlin had left. Arthur was shocked.

Deep down he had hoped that Gaius would say Merlin was sleeping and couldn't be disturbed. Arthur wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to tell Merlin that they could never happen. It could never be.

As Arthur was rushing back to his chambers, hoping with all his heart that Merlin wasn't there, he accidentally walked right into Gwen.

"My lord," Gwen said. Arthur could hear the amusement in her voice. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Merlin is better," Arthur told her. "Gaius said he went to straighten up my chambers."

Gwen's expression lit up. "I'll go with you. I would love to see him again," she said brightly.

Arthur grasped at the opportunity she presented. He couldn't talk to Merlin in front of Gwen. He appreciated the delay in his plans.

Arthur walked back to his chambers with Gwen by his side. He mentally took a deep breath before he entered. When he saw Merlin wasn't there, he felt a mixture between relief and disappointment. As much as he wanted to delay the inevitable, he did want to see Merlin again.

He sighed. "Guess he's not here," he said.

Gwen looked at him with a small smile on her face. "I'm sure he'll be back Arthur. He's probably running an errand for Gaius," Gwen said.

She took a step closer to Arthur. For the first time, Arthur realized they were very much alone in his chambers. Suddenly, Arthur needed to forget. He needed to forget about his feelings for Merlin. He needed to forget that in just a little while he was going to tear out his own heart. He just needed to forget. Arthur softly pressed my lips to Gwen's. He didn't feel the same way he had when he kissed Merlin, but he felt safe.

Suddenly he heard a crash from the doorway. He and Gwen broke apart and Arthur wasn't aware of anything except the look of pain on Merlin's face.

He faintly noticed that Gwen took a step towards Merlin. He thought she might have said something, but he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that he hurt Merlin.

"Merlin," he said softly. He saw Merlin shake his head moments before he fled the room. "Merlin!"

Merlin didn't stop. Arthur rushed to the door of his chambers in time to see Merlin disappearing down the corridor.

Arthur felt a warm hand on his arm. He didn't need to turn to know it was Gwen. "Arthur, what happened?" Gwen asked softly.

In that split second, Arthur made a decision. He knew he would never be happy without Merlin. He would never be content. "I'm… I'm sorry," he told her. "I just can't."

Arthur ran down the hallway, looking for Merlin. He could hear Gwen's footsteps, but he couldn't make himself stop and answer her questions. He was certain Merlin would be heading out of the castle. Perhaps he was going to the forest or the tavern, but Arthur was certain he would want to put as much distance between himself and Arthur as possible. Arthur couldn't let that happen. Sure enough, when Arthur burst through the doors to the palace, he saw Merlin standing in the courtyard. It started to drizzle in the crowded courtyard.

"Merlin!" He called. Merlin's eyes widened when he saw Arthur. He started to walk away, but Arthur wasn't having that.

Arthur ran towards Merlin and grabbed Merlin's arms, spinning Merlin towards him. Not caring that everyone in the courtyard was staring at him, Arthur pulled Merlin close to him and kissed him firmly on the lips. He could taste the rain on Merlin's lips. This wasn't a kiss he broke. This wasn't a kiss he was ashamed of.

He wanted to tell Merlin he was sorry. He wanted to tell Merlin that he didn't want to hide his feelings for him. He tried to tell Merlin so much in that kiss and if Merlin's eager lips were anything to judge by, he was succeeded.

The second Arthur saw the pain on Merlin's face, he knew he would never be able to be with Gwen when he knew it would hurt Merlin. He cared about Merlin far too much for that. He wasn't going to hide who he was anymore. Merlin was the one he wanted to be with, and Arthur wasn't going to pretend otherwise. He was being Arthur. Not King Arthur. Not Arthur Pendragon. Just Arthur. And for once, he was okay with that.