"Well, if it isn't Jane Rizzoli. Come up for a 'weekend getaway', have you?" The old man behind the counter of the store gave a wide, semi-toothless grin. "Oh, and who is this pretty little thing you got with you?"
"Good to see you again, too, Bobby." She held the door until Maura could step inside. "She's taken. Hands off." Jane stuck her tongue out at the man who just laughed in return.
"Good thing, too. I was about to work my magic on her. You going to introduce me or just act like a monkey all day?" He walked around the counter to greet the two women.
"Yeah, I'm on it. Don't rush me, old man," Jane rolled her eyes. "Maura, this is Robert Lee Honeycutt, aka Bobby, dirtiest old man in the county." Her eyes twinkled, a smile finally taking hold on her face again. "Bobby, this is Maura Isles. Behave yourself. She's a woman of refinement."
"Unlike you," he laughed at Jane's look of annoyance. "Don't listen to Miss Jane here. I'm not the dirtiest old man in the county. I'm the dirtiest old man in the state." He winked at the honey blonde as he took her hand and bent over to kiss the back of it. "Pleased to meet you Miss Maura."
Maura laughed goldenly and permitted the hand kiss. "Just Maura. It's a pleasure, Bobby. I apologize for my immunity to your no doubt devastating charms. How does one earn the title of dirtiest old man in the... anywhere, actually, if I may be so bold as to ask?" It was a safe question; Jane never would have made such a claim in front of someone she actually mistrusted with the bounds of propriety.
"I can't tell you that little secret, I'd have to show you, and, if I showed you, you'd have to just drop whoever has you and come on home with me." He let go of Maura's hand and stuck both of his in the front pocket of his coveralls. "Miss Jane here says you're taken, so I better not show you. I'd hate to take as good looking of a woman as you are away from anyone. They might come after me with a pitchfork."
"Or a gun," Jane grumbled as Maura said the same words with a grin. She was enchanted by the self-proclaimd dirty old man.
"That, too." Bobby agreed, nodding his head once in agreement. "You two come here for something particular or just to make my day better? You know the girls here aren't as pretty as you two are."
"Really?" Jane rolled her eyes again. "We need a few things, and, before you ask, I know my way around, thanks. So, no, we don't need the grand tour. We'll be back up at the front in a couple, okay?" She stepped next to Maura, wrapping an arm around her waist to guide her toward the back of the store. "Come on, Babe, turn around so Bobby can say something about our asses as we walk back to the bacon."
"You really know how to make an old man's day, Miss Jane," the older man smiled wider.
Maura's laugher pealed out as she gave a mockery of a slap to Jane's arm, trying to look scandalized, but failing miserably. She lowered her voice as they wandered between the aisles featuring pancake mixes, breakfast cereals, and canned goods. "Did you mean for him to know, or not know?"
"Good question," Jane said as she picked up a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Just be me. Just be me. Just be me. "Whipped cream is out… sadly," she pursed her lips in thought as she went over the items they were carrying. "I guess this is all we need for today and tomorrow morning. Come on, let's go check out."
"That was quick. You sure you two don't want to walk around a little bit more for me?" Bobby was leaning against the front of the counter.
"One show per store visit." Jane looked at him expectantly until he pushed off the counter to let her and Maura put their items down. "Bobby, you got any of the good stuff back there?"
"Depends, you got a badge?" He asked as he came to a stop on the other side of the counter.
"Yes." Jane raised an eyebrow in defiance.
"Bet you think you're funny, Miss Jane." He narrowed his eyes for a second and then grinned. "We all know you're some kind of lawyer or something. One of these days, we're going to find out what you do, and, when I figure out what strip club you work, I'm going to get me a front row seat."
Though a side trip through the other aisles would have been entertaining, Maura elected to forego the detour and caught up to Jane, stifling a giggle at Bobby's entirely mistaken assumption. If only he knew how enticing she can be without resorting to costumes and stage lighting and music.
"Oh, nice." Jane gave him a glare. "You got it or not?"
"Yeah, I got some of the good stuff back here. How much of it do you want for you and your girlfriend? Pint? Two pints?" He squatted down behind the counter, pulling a key from somewhere in his coveralls. "Pint's $25. Two pint's will cost you $35. I got a special going on right now."
"$25 for a pint? Highway robbery!" Jane scoffed. "My girlfriend's never had the stuff before, so better stick with a pint." He called it. I'm going with it. Just be me, right? Right. She wrapped her arm around Maura's waist again.
Maura blushed prettily, but rested comfortable under Jane's arm, her own slipping around the taller woman's lower back. "A pint of what, Jane? Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it." Just for fun, she sent Bobby a wink. A dirty old man had to get his kicks somewhere.
"Moonshine, Babe, and I'm sure you can, too. But we're only going to be here for a little while and this stuff gets stout the longer it sits around." Jane turned her head to kiss Maura's temple. "Maybe, if we decided to come up for a week or something, okay?"
"You visit JJ yet?" Bobby set a pint sized mason jar full of a clear liquid on the counter with the rest of the items.
"Not yet, but I'm getting there." Jane's face twitched slightly, the only hint in her mask that the comment had bothered her. "Bobby," Jane quietly explained to Maura, "is as close to a grandfather as JJ had."
"Yup. He was one of the good ones," he started ringing up the items and bagging them, "like that one you got your arm wrapped around, Miss M. You keep an eye on that one, she's likely to get into all kinds of trouble if you don't. I remember a time when she and JJ went off to the old Wharton place and…"
"And Maura doesn't really need to hear that story, thanks." A blush was starting to color the brunette's face. "Really, Babe, it was nothing… just something about a bull, some bees, and a pond. No big thing." I'm going to get him back for that, I swear. "You really don't want hear a boring story about when your…um," No, Janie. "When your girlfriend was a teenager, right? Yeah, didn't think so." She plowed through to, hopefully, keep Maura from asking.
"Don't worry, Bobby, I intend to keep my friends close, my enemies closer, and Jane closest of all. I don't want her to get into any trouble without me." Maura was doing that thing where she flirted with everyone nearby, and not just Jane, though she didn't actually give the dirty old man her special come-hither eye. Just the shoulder thing, and the voice. "Actually," she continued with a grin, "I'd love to hear that story. Maybe you can tell it to me later over that pint of... hooch? After all, we do have until tomorrow before we're due back at your mother's place." That should distract them both from the tender subject of the absent JJ.
"No," Jane shook her head, "No way I'm telling you that story or leaving you alone with Bobby long enough to hear it." She handed over a couple of bills to pay. Thank you, Maura. "And stop flirting with him. You'll just encourage him. Trust me, you do not want to encourage him." She started putting her change away.
"Sure she does," Bobby stuck his hands back in the front of his coveralls. "You can encourage me all you want, Miss M. You won't hear me complain at all." He looked over to Jane who was steadily giving him a death glare. "But it looks like Miss Jane here might be staking claim. Don't tell me you really are staking claim on each other?" He waggled his fuzzy eyebrows suggestively.
Maura lifted one shoulder in eloquent, almost European shrug and apology as she said, "Sorry, Bobby. I didn't mean to lead you on." She had never so much as let Jane stray an inch from her, from the moment she'd slipped up under that arm. "Jane was right. I really am quite taken - and so is she, so don't get any ideas. And no, you can't watch."
Jane let out a snort as she grabbed the bags. "Sorry, Bobby. You heard the lady. We're out of here. Catch you the next time we're up." She smiled fondly at him. "You call me if you need anything."
"Always do, Miss Jane. You two go have fun," he winked at them.
Using her backside, Jane pushed the doors open and held it for Maura, "I like him. He's a good guy, just a little dirty." The detective chuckled. "Okay, we better keep the ice cream in the cab. You ready to get back? I want a BLT for lunch, and ice cream, and then you for dessert," she said nonchalantly as she dropped the bags in the back and secured them.
Maura' reached over to fish the keys from Jane's mouth and unlock the truck. "Sounds perfect. I'll cook, though. I want you saving your energy," she replied to her girlfriend with a saucy little toss of her hair. "I believe I was promised dessert al fresco. Shall I drive on the way back, so you can relax?"
"No, you don't get to drive." Jane grabbed the keys. "I don't get to drive your car. You don't get to drive the truck. Besides, I like driving the truck. It's fun, and it makes me feel," she shrugged. Really, Rizzoli? Yeah… okay, sometimes I like it, so just say it. "Badass butch. So, no truck driving for you. Now, get in so we can go. I want my dessert first."
With gratifying quickness, Maura was in the truck, belted, and straddling the gear shift as before. As Jane laughed at her, she blushed - hard. "I just... kind of started to understand why sometimes people want you to use the handcuffs," she explained shyly, then laughingly pushed it aside. "I'm not saying I do. The ones you carry are definitely not made for comfort. But I do love it when you get this way. Drive, Jane. I don't know how long I can wait."