Chapter 7

Gibbs sat impatiently outside the room, watching as people went in and out. His impatience was not due to a desire to leave. It was due to a feeling of impotence. He couldn't do anything to help Tim right now and it was driving him crazy. Eventually, he'd be able to channel his energy into the case, but that would have to wait until he got back to NCIS and explained it all to Vance...and to everyone else. It was not a conversation he was looking forward to.

A woman walked by, carrying a camera and some forms. He started to stand and then sank back to his seat. Tim would not appreciate his presence during what was coming next, he was quite sure.

Gibbs knew he had done his best in there, but seeing the transformation, seeing the damage that had been done to Tim. It was almost more than he could bear. His team was his family and a member of that family had been attacked, had been...had been raped. It was hard even to think that word in reference to someone he knew. He couldn't even fathom how hard it was for Tim to deal with it.

"Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs shot to his feet as Dr. Warren approached him. Her smile was understanding.

"Please, have a seat. It's going to take some time. We can't rush these things."

"I know. How is he?"

"Tolerating what he has to...not much more than that. Your agent is strong though. Facing what he had to face was hard for him, almost intolerable. He thinks the world of you."

"Couldn't tell that."

"Actually, the fact that he let you get close enough to touch him says more than you might think."

"How is he?"

"The fever is minor. Once he starts taking care of himself better, you won't even notice...physically."

"Those...bruises and..."

"His wrists are pretty bad. They'll take a lot of time to heal. I think he's been rubbing them."

"He was rubbing his arms."

Dr. Warren nodded seriously. "He feels as though he's been branded, essentially. Like every place those men touched him is permanently soiled. You...and the rest of your team will have to help him, particularly at first. He's going to need people who can support him, help him remember to eat, to rest. He needs someone he can really trust. ...and unfortunately, while I think that, in normal circumstances, he'd probably turn to you, he won't this time. Is there someone female he can lean on?"

"Yes. A couple of them."

"Good. He'll need them whether he admits it now or not. He's going to need someone to confide in...someone beyond a therapist. Are these women capable of bearing that kind of burden?"

Gibbs thought of Ziva and Abby. In their own ways, they were both totally capable...but he couldn't help wondering if Abby would cause more harm than good in the beginning. She would need time to accept it. Ziva would be horrified but would probably try to hide it.

"Yes. I'll have to talk to them about it, though."

"This is going to be a long hard road, Agent Gibbs. Even if everything goes perfectly, it will be hard. ...and I've never seen things go perfectly, unfortunately."

"Neither have I."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"All right, Agent McGee. That does it for the waist down. Here. Put on these scrubs for the moment and we can do your torso and arms without making you more uncomfortable."

Tim only nodded and accepted the pants she handed him.

Maia stepped back and pulled the curtains to give Tim some privacy. She'd had a lot of experience with this kind of thing, but every time, it was enough to make her blood boil. It didn't matter if it was a man or a woman, an adult or a child. The damage done was always horrible. Tim was, if possible, the worst she'd seen on the male side of things. Based on the physical injuries, she could understand why. He had stopped talking about five minutes into the session. He would only respond by nodding or shaking his head, forcing her to adjust her usual questions to accomodate his withdrawal.

"How did they hold your wrists, Agent McGee? Did they use cords?"

Shake.

"Just their hands?"

Nod.

"Hold them out." Click. Click. Flash. "Now, turn them over. Good."

The rapists had been meticulous about avoiding his face. The bruises all ended at his neck. That spoke to some level of experience on their part. She stepped around to the back and saw him tense.

"Okay, now, Agent McGee, I'm going to adjust your head so that I can get the most detailed shot of the nape of your neck. Okay?"

Nod.

"You're going to feel my hands on your neck."

A deep breath, let out in short spurts.

"Just hold like that. Good." She finished as quickly as possible. There were bruises on the back of his shoulders indicating that they'd knelt on him in order to pin him to the bed. She documented the rest rather quickly. It was, unfortunately, typical fare. They'd beaten him into submission before holding him down. The wrists and shoulders were the main points of restraint.

"Okay, we're all done, Agent McGee. You'll need to wait for Dr. Warren to come in again, but the photographs are finished."

"Thank you," he whispered, but he didn't look at her.

"It's not much I can do, Agent McGee, but this will help, even if you don't believe it now."

Tim didn't reply. It was silent as she finished making her notes and gathering her material.

"I'll send Dr. Warren in."

No response. ...until she got to the door.

"They took my sock."

"Excuse me?"

"They took one of my socks. I couldn't find it. I had to put on my shoe over my bare foot."

"What about the rest of your clothes?" Maia asked.

"They're in a bag...under my bed. I didn't know what to do with them."

"We'll get it taken care of."

"Thank you...for...being..."

"You're welcome." Maia left the room and saw Gibbs and Dr. Warren sitting out in the hall. "I'm done. Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs was slightly distracted by Dr. Warren going back into the room. "Yeah?"

"He says he still has the clothes from that night...in a bag under his bed, except for a sock he says they took."

That got his attention. "Really?"

"Yeah. I think you'll have to mention it. He probably won't bring it up again on his own."

"You're probably right." He looked back toward the now-closed door.

"Agent Gibbs?"

He pulled his gaze back to Maia.

"Yes?"

"I've never seen a man as emotionally hurt as Agent McGee. I'm no shrink, but I think you should watch him...especially if he seems to get better suddenly. People don't just spring back from this kind of trauma. If he acts like he has, then he's more than likely sublimating the experience and that only means it will come back out when you least expect it."

Gibbs only nodded. There didn't seem to be anything to say. Maia nodded back.

"We'll have all this ready for you by tomorrow. I can arrange to have it sent to NCIS."

"Thank you."

Maia left and Gibbs barely noticed. He was staring at the door, waiting.

He ended up waiting for another hour before Tim came out in his clothes. There were starkly white bandages around his wrists and Gibbs assumed that there were other bandages elsewhere. Tim looked so horribly unlike himself that Gibbs wondered how he could ever have thought Tim was okay in any way, shape or form.

"You ready to go, McGee?" he asked.

Tim nodded. "I have...a prescription," he mumbled.

Gibbs got that he wasn't supposed to ask what it was for.

"We can pick it up on the way back to NCIS."

Tim nodded again.

"You all right to ride with me, McGee?"

Another nod. Gibbs looked at Dr. Warren. She simply gave an encouraging smile.

"I've set up another appointment for tomorrow evening. We can talk about therapists and any other complications then."

Tim just nodded.

"Agent McGee, remember what I told you."

"No rubbing," Tim whispered.

"Exactly. It might start to itch, but even if it doesn't, I want you to leave your wrists alone. Let them heal."

Nod.

"You're going to be all right. It will take time, but you'll be all right."

Nod.

"Let's go, McGee."

Tim didn't nod. He just followed. Gibbs didn't try to speak. Anything he said would be stupid. ...but it made for a very long drive back to NCIS.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Gosh, took you guys long enough," Tony said. "What's up?"

"You and Ziva go into conference room one, Tony," Gibbs said. "We'll be in there in a moment." He didn't stop walking but let Tim drop his bag by his desk before walking with him to the stairs. Tim said nothing, and Gibbs did not put down the bag he was carrying. They both mounted the stairs to Vance's office and disappeared inside.

"What was that all about?"

"I do not know," Ziva said. "I suppose they will tell us. McGee did not look very good. Maybe he is seriously ill."

"I hope not. Then, I'll have to be nice to him." Tony grinned and got up. They walked into the conference room and sat down to wait.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"You sure you want to be there for this, McGee? You can wait out here," Gibbs said softly.

Tim shook his head. "Just don't make me say it."

"I won't."

"All right."

"Director Vance will see you now."

"Thanks." Gibbs got up and walked to the door, trusting Tim to follow him.

"What's up, Gibbs?" Vance asked. "I don't normally get the pleasure of actually admitting you to my office."

"Director, I would like to request being taken off our current case."

Vance was now completely focused on Gibbs...with a few side glances at Tim who said nothing and stared at the floor.

"Why is that?"

"Because I have another case I would like us to investigate."

"You have a case? I wasn't aware of any other cases fitting the MCRT's purview."

"That's because it just came up."

"What is it?"

"A rape case."

Tim winced. Vance noticed.

"And I'm guessing that it has something to do with the reason that Agent McGee is in here?"

"It does."

"Well, tell me straight, Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs looked at Tim. "You sure, McGee?"

Tim nodded.

"Agent McGee was raped a week ago."

Whatever Vance had been expecting to hear, it clearly was not that.

"What?"

"He was raped. A week ago, Friday. I'd like to lead the investigation."

"When did you find out?"

"About three hours ago."

Vance looked at Tim, a rebuke on his lips...which died unspoken. Tim's eyes were closed and tears were on his cheeks.

"Does anyone else know?" he asked instead.

"Not yet. I'd like to keep this as quiet as possible...for obvious reasons."

"This could be too personal, Agent Gibbs. Are you sure that this is the best course of action?"

"Yes, sir, I am."

"You keep this completely transparent. No hidden agendas. I want to be informed about it from day one." He looked at Tim. "Agent McGee, could you give us a moment, please?"

Tim nodded and left the office. Vance waited until the door was closed completely.

"Is this true, Agent Gibbs? You're sure?"

"The doctor saw it right away. I had to take McGee to the hospital because he collapsed. The first doctor suspected right when he saw McGee. Lots faster than the rest of us. The other doctor performed an full physical examination and they took pictures. If you want, you can see them all. I'm hoping I can keep McGee out of the room when I show them."

"Is Abby going to be able to tolerate this?"

"Once she has time to process it."

"You realize, Gibbs, that even if you do your best to keep it quiet, people will find out. There's no way you'll be able to hide it completely."

"That doesn't mean I have to parade it around."

"True enough, but you had better prepare McGee for scuttlebutt...because it will happen."

"I will."

"What about therapy?"

"Dr. Warren is going to give recommendations tomorrow."

"So...how is McGee doing?"

"About as good as you saw in here. ...not good at all."

Vance nodded.

"So...do I have your permission to investigate?"

"Yes, Agent Gibbs. Get whoever did this...but do it right. If and when you find the culprit..."

"Culprits. There were two."

Vance nodded, although his face hardened. "...when you find them, do not go the vigilante route. I want them to go down...so this has to all be done right. Understood?"

"Completely."

"Then, go do it."

Gibbs nodded and left. Tim was sitting on a chair, not looking at the assistant who was looking at him in concern.

"Come on, McGee. We've got another stop."

Tim nodded and followed once more.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Boss! It's about time," Tony said again. "Why leave us cooling our heels in here?"

Tim sat down...away from all of them, his hands in his lap.

"We're no longer investigating the murder case."

"What? Why not?" Tony protested.

"Yes, that is our case. Why should we turn it over to Lovitz?" Ziva demanded.

Tim's shoulders hunched.

"Because we have a different case."

"What is it? From Vance?" Tony asked.

"No. Not from Vance."

"From me," Tim whispered.

"McGee," Gibbs warned.

Tim lifted his head and looked at Gibbs...for a second or two. "I...I'll s-s-s-say it, Boss."

"You don't have to, McGee."

"I will."

Tony and Ziva now looked concerned.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, his voice worried.

"I..." Tim began and stopped. He took a breath and let it out. Then, another. Tony and Ziva sat in complete silence. That there was a big problem, they could clearly see. "...I w-w-was..." He couldn't hold back the tears, although he tried. "Th-those two guys. At the bar. They raped me."

If a missile had suddenly been launched into the room, Tony and Ziva could scarcely have been more shocked.

"What?"

Tim couldn't say it again. He just stared at the table. Gibbs noticed his withdrawal.

"McGee was raped. And apparently you all saw who did it. Tracking down these guys is the case we're going to be solving now. You got a problem with that?"

They both seemed afflicted with the same problem Tim had and they shook their heads mutely.

"Good. I'll brief Lovitz. The photos documenting McGee's injuries are going to be sent over either today or tomorrow. I have the clothes McGee was wearing. We'll see if they turn up anything after a week under his bed. Since you two saw them, maybe you can work on a sketch."

"Does Abby know?" Ziva asked.

"Not yet."

"McGee," Tony began. He was horrified. "...I...I tripped you. I put you right in their laps."

Tim nodded at the table.

"Oh, man...I'm...I'm so sorry, McGee." Tony looked as though he was going to be sick.

Again, Tim only nodded.

"McGee, you all right to stay in here for a while?"

Nod.

"Okay. Tony, Ziva." Gibbs stood up and left.

"McGee, I'm so sorry," Tony said again.

Nod. A shaking hand wiped away a tear and Tony caught a glimpse of the bandages on his wrist. Tony left.

"Boss, I didn't know," Tony said, when they got out into the hall. "I didn't. It was just a joke. McGee was talking about how he didn't want to drink too much because he liked being able to walk on his own two feet."

"And Tony tripped him because it proved him wrong," Ziva said. "It is true, Gibbs. McGee thought it was nothing himself. He even joked about it."

"Why did he leave?" Gibbs asked. "Why didn't he stay with you?"

"He told us he was going to help one of the men back to his hotel room because he was too drunk to stand. He had spilled his drink all over them and obviously felt bad about it," Ziva said. "He said that he would just head home from there because he didn't want to stay out too late."

"Abby said that he hadn't relaxed enough," Tony remembered. "And McGee said that if he was falling over already, he obviously had."

"He was looking for a reason to leave," Ziva said. "He was tired."

"He left? And what did you guys do?"

"We stayed, had a few more drinks, did some stupid things and then went home," Tony said. "Boss...should we be leaving him alone in there?"

"It's better than you or I going in, Tony. Right now, it's much better." Gibbs watched and saw the exact moment when Tony realized why that was. He looked almost as pale as Tim. "Ziva, I need you to come with me."

"Where?"

"To tell Abby."

"Why me?"

"Because McGee is going to be leaning on both of you more than Tony or I and you need to know what to expect."

Realization after realization seemed to be hitting them, and Gibbs could certainly sympathize with their shock.

"He feels safer with women than with men," she said softly.

"Yeah."

"When I called him on Saturday...he said he was sick. That must have been...right after..."

"He was so upset about that rapist."

"Why didn't we see this, Boss? We're investigators! That's our job."

"Because no one expects it to happen...because, like McGee, we didn't think it could happen...not to men."

"Why did he collapse? Was that because of his..." Ziva stumbled over the word. "...because of the attack?"

"Indirectly. We're going to have to ask him for details, but not yet. We're going to try and keep this as quiet as possible, for McGee's sake. Got it?"

Tony nodded and swallowed.

"Ziva?"

"Yes...yes, Gibbs, I am coming."

"Tony, start working on putting together a composite of those two guys."

"I didn't...I barely looked at them."

"After I tell Abby, you all can work on it. Actually, why don't you just come down now," Gibbs said, changing his plan. "We might as well talk about this all together."

"Without McGee?"

"McGee is living it. He doesn't need to talk about it right now. In fact, he hasn't. The doctor said he wouldn't say anything to her. She had to ask him yes or no questions so that he could just nod or shake his head. Come on."

It was a surreal experience, trooping down the elevator to Abby's lab, seeing her doing her usual thing, listening to her usual loud music, having her usual good time with life...and then to have all of that stop. In fact, neither Tony nor Ziva really heard anything Gibbs said to her. They only saw her face as she listened to what Gibbs said. Her denial, her shock, her complete and utter horror at hearing that her beloved geek had been violated in such a way. She actually had to sit down and tears coursed down her cheeks as she listened. She sat in perfect stillness, the music off, no one else speaking. They just waited for the reaction that would most definitely come...the extremity wasn't loud. She leapt to her feet and hugged Gibbs so tightly that it was amazing he didn't suffocate. She whispered over and over again, begging him to say that he'd lied, begging him to make it all okay.

He couldn't say it. He couldn't fix it.

Things weren't okay.