Broken (Chapter 7)

Despite the piles of papers that littered her desk and the amount of work that lay before her, Kahlan found it difficult to focus on any of it. Holding the most recent report detailing the upcoming deliberations that needed to be heard and decided upon, she found her thoughts drifting back to the events from earlier that morning and the book Richard had been reading.

There was something about that journal that made her feel very uneasy. How was Richard able to read a book that was filled with nothing by blank pages? Who was this Da'Tavius and what had he written about that had so captured her husband's attention?

She had hoped that Richard would've offered some sort of information when he caught her looking through the book, but the feel of his lips on her skin had quickly distracted her attention away from learning any information.

Kahlan suddenly found herself smiling. Richard always had a way of turning her head and her heart. He was just so incredibly handsome, the feel of his defined body pressing against hers always setting her on fire. Those brown eyes and that charming smile of his made it difficult to remember how to breathe at times. And then when he touched her…oh Spirits, his touch…

"Kahlan?"

Startled from her passionate thoughts, Kahlan looked up to find Cara standing in her doorway, a knowing smirk upon her lips. "Ca-Cara," she stammered, embarrassed about where her thoughts had drifted. "What are you doing here?"

"Lord Rahl instructed me to accompany you down to the prison this morning. He knew that you'd insist on going back down there and he wanted me to go with you to make sure you stayed out of trouble."

Releasing a sigh, Kahlan felt her insides warming with the love she held for him. He was always so concerned about her, putting her wellbeing before all else.

"It's probably not necessary. I'm positive rumors of the Seeker's slaying of a prisoner who attacked the Mother Confessor have swept through the dungeons by now. I'm sure that no one will be trying anything like that again," she replied with a frown. She was loathe to admit it but the incident had unnerved her somewhat, but it was not going to keep her out of the dungeons or from doing her duty as Mother Confessor.

"Well, I was practically ordered that absolutely under no circumstances was I to allow you to go without me. I personally like my head where it is so I'm afraid you're stuck with me," she informed her, crossing her arms with resolve.

"Actually, I would love the company," Kahlan finally admitted as she stood from her chair. "I've been anxious to talk to you about how you're adjusting to life in Aydindril. I truly hope that you're happy here, Cara."

"It's nice here and everyone has been very kind. I've been assisting Edmond with matters of security. There are going to be some radical changes in the prison for starters," she scowled with revulsion.

Casting a sidelong glance at her leather-clad friend, Kahlan could tell that the Mord'Sith was holding something back. Her brow was creased, a distant look in her eye as they made their way to the prison.

"But…" Kahlan prodded, sensing something more. "You miss D'Hara don't you?"

"Actually, not really. Lord Rahl, Zedd, you…you're my family now. My home is wherever you are," Cara softly admitted after much thought. She couldn't believe that she had just opened up like that, pouring her guts out. She readily decided it was Lord Rahl's fault. He was making her soft.

"I'm so glad you feel that way, Cara, because we feel you're part of our family as well," Kahlan replied, touched by the Mord'Sith's admission.

"I do think that Lord Rahl needs to return to D'Hara, though," Cara ventured, not wanting to upset her friend, but feeling the need to tell her. "Richard is not only the Seeker, but he is the true Lord Rahl. He needs to return to D'Hara and claim his throne before Darken Rahl takes it back."

"I know," Kahlan finally murmured, the feeling of her heart constricting in her chest almost strangling the breath from her lungs.

Deep down, she knew that D'Hara would have to be addressed. They couldn't sit idly by and watch it fall under the depraved rule of Darken Rahl again. Her throat began to burn with the tears that begged for release, but the Mother Confessor swallowed them back, knowing that she couldn't be allowed the luxury of falling apart right now. Kahlan knew she had to be strong for Richard. He would depend on her to help him make the difficult choice to leave her and go to D'Hara.

Cara could feel sorrow overwhelming her friend as they walked in silence. She knew it would be terribly difficult for them, but she also knew them to be the most honorable, self-sacrificing people she had ever known. She knew that they would never be able to stand by for long and watch tyranny take over D'Hara again.

The sadness that suddenly enveloped them was palpable as they descended into the bowels of the Confessor's Palace, leaving behind them the sunlight that had lit up the hallways. Cara decided it best to change the subject for now.

"Are you sure you're recovered enough from yesterday to be back down here?" she asked, her gaze taking in the bruises that still lined the Mother Confessor's throat, the cut that still marred her cheek. She knew that Kahlan had refused having a healer brought in because of Lord Rahl. She hadn't wanted to cause him any more guilt than he already felt.

"I'm fine," she replied, brushing off Cara's concern, her mind still trying to wrap itself around the concept of Richard leaving her so soon after being wed. They hadn't even talked about starting a family yet. They couldn't very well create a family with Richard in D'Hara and she certainly didn't want to be carrying his child with him so far away. How would she be able to cope without him here with her? Her mother wasn't even here to rely on, to ask questions and Dennee was away on a diplomatic mission that could take several weeks at the very least to complete.

"What exactly happened yesterday with that prisoner?"

"Captain Zahn and I went into his prison cell so I could take his confession. I asked him to confess his crimes or risk being confessed by me. I reminded him that I could tell if he was speaking the truth or not. He suddenly became enraged, his eyes…they were wild with fury," Kahlan told her, fear flashing through her eyes. "He began heaving and shaking. Captain Zahn pulled his sword and moved to stand in front of me, but that just infuriated Barak all the more.

"Barak…that was his name. He had been brought in a few days ago, charged with the rape and murder of a barmaid. The girl had been brutally raped and beaten almost beyond recognition, her broken body discarded like useless trash in an alley. It was all so senseless."

Kahlan drew a shaky breath before continuing. "I don't know what went wrong, Cara. Barak was like a caged animal, stalking about the cell looking for escape. I've never seen a prisoner react quite like that. It was like he was possessed or something. He suddenly charged Captain Zahn then, smashing his skull in before Zahn even had a chance to react.

It just all happened so fast. The next thing I knew, Barak had broken the iron shackles that had bound his wrists…had actually ripped them apart as if they had been made of paper. I lunged for him, tried to confess him, but he struck me with his fist, knocking me to the ground. Before I knew what was happening, he lifted me up, pinning me up against the wall, his hand around my throat. I tried to fight him, tried to confess him again, but he was so strong and he was cutting off my air.

My fingers finally scraped against his neck and I released my power into him. Richard ran him through his sword just as I had confessed him. If I had been able to confess him sooner, Richard would have never killed him…wouldn't have gotten so upset with me," Kahlan bleakly replied, regret permeating her voice.

"Is Lord Rahl alright after what happened yesterday?"

"Why? What do you mean?" Kahlan anxiously asked, coming to an abrupt stop, concern immediately flooding her face. "Do you think that there's something wrong with him?"

"Well, I just thought that the way that Lord Rahl reacted to what happened yesterday was unusual for him. I've been with the two of you long enough to know that he would never have grabbed you like he did nor would he have yelled at you if there wasn't something more going on with him.

He is so head over heels in love that he was willing to give up everything, everything to stay with you before he even knew that he could make love to you without your powers affecting him. He treats you like the most precious thing ever to be created. It was just so out of character for him to treat you like that."

"I know," Kahlan softly said with a heavy heart, hoping that the unsettling feeling that she'd been having had been wrong. "I thought so too. In the two years that I've known Richard, he has never come close to treating me like that before. He's always treated me with the utmost respect and care. I had hoped that he had just been upset by what had almost happened, but I fear there's something more going on."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "The only thing I can think of is that he's been reading some journal that a Wizard had written years ago. He said he found it in the Keep. When I looked at it this morning, all the pages were blank."

"What do you think that means?" Cara asked with a scowl. She definitely didn't like the sound of that. Magic always made her uneasy.

"I'm not sure. When did you say that Zedd would be returning?"

"Tomorrow, I think. He didn't really give a definitive time. He just thought he'd be gone for two or three days, but you know Zedd. If his friends have good food, we might not see him till next year."

Kahlan chuckled softly at the thought. Truer words had never been spoken. "Well, hopefully Zedd will be able to shed more light on things when he returns," she said as she resumed her journey to the prisoners. "By the way, where is Richard? I thought for sure he'd be bent on coming down here with me."

"He went to the Wizard's Keep. Said he had something he wanted to look for there."

"I wonder what he's up to," Kahlan murmured more to herself than to Cara, concern for her husband stinging her heart.

XXX

Rubbing his hands over his face, Richard plopped dejectedly into the chair at the table. His eyes roamed over the stacks of books that he's accumulated that spread out before him, none of them really providing anything that was useful to him. He's searched for hours without success for any information that would help him figure out who Da'Tavius was or finding anything else that the Wizard had written.

Raking his hand back through his hair, he released a haggard breath. Frustration and anger was mounting by the moment as he slumped back in his chair. The longer he went without finding the answers he needed, the more desperate he found himself becoming.

He was losing himself to something he could not even see, could not fight. Anxiety and fear had become his constant companion over the last several days. If it hadn't been for Kahlan, he was certain he would have lost his mind by now, succumbing to the swirling eddy that resided inside of him. She was the only thing keeping him grounded.

At times, Richard hadn't even recognized that his behavior had been anything but normal until he saw the moments of concern and fright reflecting in Kahlan's eyes. Then suddenly it was as if he was awakening from some unconscious state he hadn't even realized he was living in, bringing him back to himself once more.

Tears collected in the corners of his eyes, fear welling up from that bottomless pit of despair he kept finding himself in but kept hidden from everyone. He had finally married the woman who had won his heart from the moment he saw her and now something inside of him was bent on destroying that happiness. His chest grew tight, his vision blurring with the tears that pooled in his eyes. He could not lose her because of who he was, whose blood pumped through his veins and in his body.

Why did he have to be born a Rahl? Why couldn't he just be the son of George and Mary Cypher? Why couldn't he just be Richard Cypher, Seeker of Truth and husband to the Mother Confessor? Thoughts of D'Hara and the turmoil he knew in his heart that was brewing there with his brother Darken Rahl roaming free like a slippery eel, plotting to take back his throne began to twist and tighten like a deadly snake threatening to steal his sanity. He knew he was going to have to do something soon about D'Hara whether he liked it or not, whether he wanted to accept it or ignore it.

As long as Darken Rahl lived and breathed, D'Hara would not be safe, his Kahlan would not be safe. Why was so much being asked of him and Kahlan? He knew that he could not ask Kahlan to go with him to D'Hara. He'd already asked so much of her, keeping her from her duties in Aydindril for far too long. She was needed here. It was a difficult journey he would have to make alone.

But she was his life. How could he survive leaving her behind, being so far away from her for Spirits knew how long? He knew that even if he did beat his brother to the throne, it would take months to put D'Hara back in order. And it wasn't even a throne or a title that he wanted to possess. He was no Lord Rahl, no ruler or king. He was just a woods guide from…Hartland…

The desperate urge to just whisk Kahlan away from Aydindril and escape to Westland began rising in the midst of the conflict swirling in his mind. If they left soon, they could be in Westland before the first snowfall. A sad smile broke through the tears leaking down his face. He would build her a beautiful home high in the mountains of Westland, tucked away in the woods where no one would ever be able to find them.

No one would be able to force them to take the weight and responsibilities of the world upon them anymore. There would be no more reason to fear the rage that lived within him. He and Kahlan would be safely hidden away in the mountains and forests of Westland. There would be no more threat to them, nothing to awaken that fury.

The sorrow that had gripped him suddenly began shifting, morphing into mounting anger. Zedd would never allow them to leave and live their lives alone and in peace. He had been the one to name him Seeker of Truth, had placed this burden upon him. Richard also knew that he'd never be able to convince Kahlan to leave. He knew that she would want to, but her sense of duty and responsibility as well as the burden of being one of the last two living Confessors would keep her chained to Aydindril for the rest of their lives.

Suddenly looking down, Richard found his hands curled tightly into fists, his nails biting into his skin, his chest heaving with the anger sluicing over him. Richard abruptly stood to his feet, his chair noisily falling backwards onto the stone floor. Hadn't he given his all for everyone else? Risked his life in order to preserve life? Why couldn't he be allowed now to live the life he had always dreamed of sharing with Kahlan?

In a fit of rage, Richard slammed his fists onto the table before sending the books hurtling onto the floor, a violent scream erupting from his lungs and echoing throughout the library. Holding his head in hands, he fell to his knees, sobs racking his body. His own sense of duty and love of life was warring against his tormented thoughts. There had to be a solution, peace between what he desired most and the duty he was bound to. There had to be a balance between the inherited rage of his ancestry and the magical rage of his sword that was joined with his soul.

Drawing a shuddering breath, Richard swallowed back his despair and wiped the tears from his face. Staring at Da'Tavius's journal for several moments, Richard slowly stood to his feet. Picking up his chair, he sat down and pulled the book to him, opening its worn pages to begin again where he had left off.

"I have finally achieved what I sought so long ago to do. I can scarcely believe that my quest is almost over. I have created the ultimate piece of magic that will enable a person to have total control over their heart…"

Richard read and reread the words, disbelief sweeping over him. Here it finally was, what he had been looking for. He finally found the answer to his problems. He turned the page, his fingers trembling with anticipation.

"Storna…Tiakna…Abidini…"

Richard's eyes narrowed as he studied the unfamiliar words before him. The page was blank save for the three unusual words staring back at him. Pronouncing the words aloud, Richard felt a strange sharp sensation pierce his soul, threatening to take his breath away. It intensified in his heart and seeped throughout his entire body. A sense of realization and hardened resolve saturated his mind. He felt his muscles begin to relax with the strange awareness surging through him, his breathing finally evening out.

Closing the book, he slowly stood to his feet. He knew what he had to do, that he would not be denied this. This was his life and he was going to see to it that he and Kahlan lived it the way they wanted to…