S & C 7 Breaking bonds

The last thing the Guardian heard before pain blacked him out was the agonizing sound of a son crying out for his father's help. It was a sweet sound to him. The warmest thing that could push him under. He could die happy with that sound. A tight parent-child bond that could never be broken. It might have been agonizing, but Shockwave could also hear all the faith Cole has in his father. Certainly more than he or Megatron ever had for Chaos or Puncture. A faith their son would have had for his father ….

As comforting as that pleading cry was, right now he is coming-to feeling like Megatron's tank form, his truck and a legion of gladiators took a turn with him. Countering the crushing feeling to his chest is a soft voice crooning his name to be broken periodically by a horrible beeping sound as if those trucks and tanks are planning to back up and do him in again. He cringes and tries to move out of their way only to be met by a searing pain in his chest straight through to his spine. Maybe he should have just let the trucks have their way with him again. He groans in agony again.

The soft voice and long strokes to his antenna warns him, "Hey there, take it easy." It's not his dear Megatron's voice but it is comforting safe voice. Half-lining his optics, he sees Cole's green optics but on a compassionate black and white femme face of a trained nurse. She pulls back and two more sets of green optics come into his view. One he is more than pleased to see, one he never wanted to see again.

"Go away," his raspy groggy voice husks out. It might have been quiet but the sharp cut is clean and clear. All faces look to each other in confusion as to who he means.

"Alright, I'll leave you with family," Cole starts.

With a painful cough, Shockwave is harsh, "The bond has been broken, he is not family." Puncture actually flinches to dear soft Shockwave disowning him so harshly.

"Shockwave-dear….," the prim matriarch soothes his antenna with a bit more pressure trying to hold him down and make him think about his statement.

Shockwave does his best to ignore the pain (thankful for a bit for his droidness) to turn out of her touch and look her square in the face. He tries to be a gentlemech but he is seething in spark-break right now. "Ma'am, a femme of your grace, should not hear what I am about to say."

Regal as she can be, she half rises to lean over and press his antenna to the pillow. "Bullshit." All mechs gasp at the cuss coming from her lips and he scowls with his. Now she understands, he has been respectfully restrained for to his breaking point. That's part of what happened at the bistro, but Megatron's father is another piece of the puzzle. It's time Shockwave let go.

"As your attending nurse, I will NOT leave your side. Now say what is on your chest that you have been holding back for too long. What is it that is killing you?"

Dr. Cole tries to regain his own power in the room, "Mom, he shouldn't get upset. Not after what Dr. Ratchet said."

"Oh Primus," Shockwave sinks in humiliation. If Ratchet is his attending surgeon that means this is really bad news and some of his concerns have been vilified.

Victrola rises to her full height and turns to Wolfgang, Puncture and Cole all in this room as the door opens and the former Autobot's Chief Medical Officer enters the room. "Let me tell all of you mechs something about spark break, alright. Listen clear." Ratchet gives her a nod to continue. He can see the tension between Puncture and Shockwave. Hel he can feel the ice in the room. Puncture always has been a difficult mech (no surprise where Megatron got more than his fangs from!) but something really much have pushed ever so respectful Shockwave to this: literally a broken spark.

She points back to Shockwave, "None of you have any idea what this mech has been through! Even I don't. If he feels like he has held back too long for fear of hurting or losing any of you while losing himself all along, then you all can go to hell." They all just stare, including Shockwave.

"I knew who Megatron was all along." She points to Shockwave, "This mech meant everything to him and I watched today as someone try to destroy that dignity and honorable bond they had." She points back to Puncture, "I suggest you hear what he has to say. If you care anything for him, then you would let him finally get this pain off his chest, for I seriously doubt even you, Cole, knows the full extent of his pain." She looks between her checkered mech and the gowned one. Both of them look away from each other too ashamed to reveal that they have held back a bit of their joined grief or that they are even in some sort of a loose relationship.

So she lays a hand on Shockwave's shoulder, "Look, Elite elegance and dignity only goes so far. Even Wolfgang and I know there is a time and a place to air one's grievances. Please, Son, do not let your sorrow remain to crush the life out of you."

Shockwave tries to curl away, "I …only ever told Megatron my personal issues. Likewise, he only shared his tears with me."

"The boy was a fool to cry!" Puncture scoffs.

That is what Shockwave needed to bring him fully around. He whips, "No, he wasn't! Don't you EVER call him a fool. YOU are the fool!"

Vicky steps back giving Shockwave room to move. The spark meter begins to rise and so do the doctors' optic brows. Vicky tisks a finger at the red and white ones not to move or else face her wrath. Shockwave hears the warning beeps steadily rising too but sits himself up to face the one that should have loved Megatron more than himself.

He seethes, "This may killed me, but I don't care." The blankets are ripped back and he slides his bare pedes to the floor as he punctures Puncture with his optic-barb of spark-gold coloring, "In fact, I hope it does."

Puncture shivers to the icy wish. Cole pales and pangs. Vicky shoots her son a pout but then a gaze of hope. Wisely, Cole just stands by and waits even though his spark is tearing.

Shockwave makes his slow small steps towards the one who should have been his support in a time of grief but he couldn't stand to look upon. "You want to know my problem with you, fine. You spit on Megatron's chance to be a father once, alright. But a second time? How. Dare. YOU!" He grabs the IV trolley for support. "After everything he did to make Cybertron a home again for all and you tell him he shouldn't have an heir?! That he will just fuck that up too?!" He stumbles but shoves all arms away, "Again!" His chest lurches and the monitor skips.

"I hope you enjoy your new laws, rules and freedoms for your SON made it happen thanks to you and that bitch of a mother!" He makes a few more steps until he is face to face with the one that created the love of his life.

"You want to know what Megatron did after you told him it was a mistake to try again. Yes, you actually told him it was a sign from Primus not to have our first son and he was a fool to try again. How FUCKING dare you!" He slams a fist into the shoulder panel making the beeps erratically increase in pace and Puncture is actually frightened that Shockwave just might kill him, or worse… die at his pedes.

Shockwave then drops to a softer tone hearing the pinging. "Let me tell you what he did after you told him once more he was a fool. He came home to ME. That's right, his bondmate that he committed his life to. He made the most passionate love to me ever."

That makes Puncture embarrassed and blanch. The first meeting to his son-in-law was as the couple were making love. One of the most embarrassing moments of Shockwave's life as well, but right now, he doesn't care. Right now, he says it this way so Puncture can remember that look on both of their faces as they passionately gave themselves to each other… only. Committed. Bound. And so in love with each other they couldn't even be bothered to even close a door completely.

"That's right, Puncture. All that pride and honor and blessing he hoped you would give him, he rained down and covered me with." He shivers remembering that last moment of effervescent love making. "That's right, more passionate than our bond night when I asked him to accept my spark into his life. Better than when he revealed his gorgeous crest to me (his fingers reach out as if he could feel it once more) refusing to hide anymore of himself from me. Better than the night we made our son on the kitchen table because he loved me so much he couldn't wait to have me against him!"

Shockwave is swooning from the passionate memories that he can never top leaving his spark screaming in very real sharp pain. Wolfgang cups a bicep but says nothing, just nudging him to go on while supporting him. Puncture is paling more and more with each word. He knew his son had a sexual appetite but had no idea he could love so passionately. Certainly more than he ever had with Angra or even Statik.

The widower is not done though, he lets his voice become English-sultry, (certainly the meds are knocking him off character a bit but he doesn't even care). "He filled me and inducted me with so much of his passionate love I thought I would… explode." The last word is just about a whisper as it slips out. Its enough to make everyone blush as if silver ghost is in the room right now consuming his living violet lover all over again. A fitting last moment that these two beloveds shared together.

Shockwave's optic goes dark and his speech begins to slur a bit drugged by the memory and whatever is in the trolley-drip and his failing spark. "He was looking forward to his pregnant hottie again. He promised to make love to me every night or any other time I craved just to make sure the sparkling knew it was created and infused with our love. He wanted there to be no doubt that both of us were the reasons for his life. He loved THIS family more than anything. Any-thing…"

Shockwave jabs his finger into Puncture's chest, "And you had the cogs to tell me that I was blessed not to be raising his sparkling!" He rises to his full height shoving his face right into the paling older one and roars, "Well let me tell you this! Even if I was sti-*aahhhh!* carrying, I would NEVER let you see M-Megatron's *arghh* greatest legacy!"

That was it for his spark as a shooting pain sends his world spinning. "Be-gone," he whispers the order clutching a hand to his fabric covered chest. Wolfgang now has his hand around his waist to hold him upright and Puncture steps back now feeling the other's pain completely. The older mech is feeling every cut he made to Shockwave. He had no idea his words had cut so deep, he just though Shockwave was silent by being his dignified self and immersing himself in his work (having no idea he had taken an extended leave).

Now he is seeing things from Shockwave's point of view. Puncture had a son, Shockwave never did. Twice he was denied a gift he wanted where Puncture had a gift he had …ruined.

Shockwave gives off a sick laugh, "I did learn something from my father and you: How to cut blights in my family out of my life."

Puncture tries to once more, "Shockwave… I…."

Shockwave is slipping away as the erratic beats become more chaotic, "NO! You listen to ME! He was at Karmashock's to ask him to be the godfather you would never be!" Shockwave's chest hitches this time in grief on the verge of crying, "He died thinking he completed his greatest mission by leaving me the most incredible legacy of love and," he sneers, "And proving you wrong."

He pushes off Wolfgang and tries to pull to a proud stance again, "He never needed you and I was a fool to pressure him to show you how much he had changed. He was right, he never needed your approval."

The sparklingless-widower feels himself faltering and plants a hand to the berth looking to the ceiling hoping his god could hear him one last time, "I'm sorry Megatron, I failed you yet again."

"Oh Shockwave…" Puncture actually feels for the mech who saw so much more in his son than he ever could and had been denied something so precious. The only thing he ever wanted in life. Yes, he was a fool and yes, he can never heal that. It just hurts so much knowing now he lost the only thing good left in Megatron's life.

"Be-gone," Shockwave turns his back on the mech that that sired his love and should have love him more than the mate. The one he should have encouraged parenthood in his changing son and now, he doesn't even have something biologically-tangible of his son left.

The dark hand reaches out for a last time but never makes it, because the pale blue spark rends further releasing such an agonizing scream that this great proud form crumbles to a heap at Wolfgang's pedes.

Shockwave hears the erratic beeps finally stabilize to one long tone before blackness overcomes him again.

~~8~~

Cole is pacing outside in the waiting room as Ratchet and Wolfgang work on the mech he cares so much for. Nothing could save his Karma. Nothing could save Shockwave's Megatron. There has to be a way to save Shockwave. Pacing he sees a Rabbi coming from one of the other rooms. He is from Wolfgang's Synagogue and thus comes over to see how one of his flock is doing. Seeing that Cole has his hands rung in agony, pulls him inside the universal chapel and away from the source of his agony.

"Does Primus care for half-droids even if he is an atheist?" Cole pleads then sinks his face into his hands. He just can't do this all over again. Even if Shockwave does survive this spark surgery, can he really allow himself to fall so deep for someone only to lose them in the blink of an optic…again. Maybe it was foolishly too soon to set his spark up for love again.

The warm hands wrap around Cole's and just gives him something tangible to hang onto even though his emotions and thoughts are all over the frig'n map. Cole tries to listen to the familiar words of the healing prayer.

~~8~~

Shockwave comes round this time to a warm hand making long smooth strokes to his antenna. From pivot to tip and back. His torso is heavy with sedation from his collar to just under his ribcage: numb to sensation and immobile from moving.

"Mummy?" he mutters. The sedation is messing with his head heavily and it's so tiring trying to swim through the slog to find the surface.

"Shhh Dearie, shhh."

'Dearie'? Okay this isn't his dear sweet Mum and the hands are too small to be his Megatron's. The comforting scent of an expensive perfume mixed with soft hands and a motherly tone has him all jacked up.

"How's he doing, Love?" a deep barrel of a fatherly-German accent is another wash of comfort to his emotions. It's not his father's for it has too much compassion and concern to it, let alone the accent. Actually, the accent is relaxing to his jumbled brain and emotions.

"Ugh," is all he can emit to let them know he has somewhat surfaced.

A soft paw cups the other antenna. Now he is sure these sedatives are going to embarrass him among these upper class bots. His father had engrained in him that an elite does not cry: EVER. Therefore he wasn't permitted. Lucky for him, being a half droid he was able to shove a lot aside. Except Megatron had taught him how to express them and savor them. They were not a sin, they were a precious gift. If anything, Megatron pulled Shockwave to express his.

"You gave us all quite a scare,… Son." The paw massages again.

'Son'. It wasn't said like he has to say it that way. No, there's a hesitation in it as if to ask for permission to use a Holy Title.

It's the last straw for the broken and rattled mech. He didn't cry when he beat the shit out of Seven for tainting Megatron's honor. He didn't cry when he cut the last living piece of Megatron from his life. He didn't even cry at Karmashock or Megatron's funerals. But this soft loving couple supported him in his raging outburst and now is trying to adopt him into their sparks and home at even his adult age. The tears slip out and he can do nothing to stop them. He doesn't sob but the tears do trickle down to his neck like a small stream.

"Love, I think we are hurting him, after all the antenna are highly sensitive."

Both hands start to leave and Shockwave's voice cracks, "No, please…." It's a whisper but they are so close they hear it.

Vicky takes a lilac hand and Shockwave does his best to crimp down on it. "Alright, Shockwave. But you have to take it easy. Not now, but later we will tell you how bad it is. Right now, just rest. We will leave you in peace."

She starts to leave, but Shockwave holds tight. Something cracks in his voice, "Don't… go. Please?" and turns his head towards the mech's voice. With this he can show them both how he is accepting their love.

"Just for a little bit, Shockwave. You need your rest," it's a soft order from both a trained medic and a good father.

As Shockwave drifts back under he hears Vicky tell Wolfgang, "I think it would be best if we take him home to recoup. It might do Cole some good, too."

"Alright. Shhhh, he needs to sleep." With a soft hum, Shockwave lets their soft hands caress his heavy head back to sleep.

Cole heard all this from his post at the door, but he's afraid. He cares for Shockwave so much, but he's just not sure he can do this again. For the first time, he understands exactly what Karma was trying to tell him about getting too committed. Slipping out of the room, he heads up to his office to bury himself.