Hello Guys - Thank you all for your reviews and putting this on alert, it really means a lot to me.
Anyways enjoy :-)
K x
6 months later
Hermione awoke to find herself in his bed again, naked just a sheet bunched around her waist protecting her, she languidly stretched her arms and reached for his pocket watch that was on the nightstand, it was early morning, barely six it was only just starting to get light out.
Hermione looked over at Sirius, he really was a beautiful man, she loved being with him and after all her initial reservations had fallen head first into this still she couldn't let him love her in return and he could never ever say it, she knew that she was going to have to end this soon, he was going to ask her to make it official soon tell everyone all about them and she knew that she couldn't do that. The prophecy was clear and she knew the consequences of letting Sirius love her.
Hermione get up out of bed and began to locate her clothes from where they were scattered around the room, she could hardly believe that it had been 6 months since that morning at hers, she was sure that they would be found out, they tried to be discrete but she was so reckless when she was with him and he was well he was Siruis she thought smiling to herself.
She remembered Ron and Lavenders wedding only to well
"Hermione was sat next to Sirius at the table, she was sure this was because Ron thought she could keep him under control, little did Ron now that as he was giving him speech Sirius was slowly working his hand up her dress, she was so not going to do this at her best friend's wedding, She looked at Sirius, her plan was to tell him stop but instead she met his hot sultry gaze and found herself opening her legs wider for him, his finger grazed along her panties, making her moan silently, she felt him slip a finger under her panties, she felt his breathe on her ear, "you are so fucking wet right now, I just want to fuck you so hard, right here while all of our friends listen to the boring speeches. " he said, Hermione just whimpered, he put one finger inside of her, he slowly began moving it in and out her, it was painfully slow, she thought she was going to explode at the table, she couldn't focus on anything that was going on around her all she could feel was him and what he was doing to her, suddenly he pulled his finger out of her, she looked at him wordlessly when the whole room erupted in applause and cheers. He just chuckled at her as she wriggled in the chair, She leaned over and whispered in his ear "I am so getting you back for that Sirius Black"
And she did remembered Hermione, she had teased him so much that night when they had got back to her cottage, she sighed and looked over at him asleep on the bed, she was lucky that they had had this long together but she knew she would have to end it soon, he wanted more from her and she wasn't able to give him that. The fact that Sirius Black notorious ladies man had fallen for her was just too cruel, he could never be allowed to love her, Hermione knew that to let him willingly love her was to destroy them both she sadly turned and walked into the bathroom, looking into the mirror she saw her bed hair and her swollen lips, the redness around her chin and along her neck from his stubble, it had become habit now to cover it up, the love bites and the bruises from when things got a bit rough ,the relationship itself, there was never any honesty or romance or affection not outside their bubble , they had never been out to dinner, or danced as a couple or even been to the cinema alone, it was only here in the bedroom that it was honest, this was where their relationship grew, where he told her stories about his time at Hogwarts and his life with Lily and James, he told her about the dark days in Azkaban, she never tired of listening to them to him, his melodic tones and his barking laugh made her smile to herself in the mirror,
Beneath the smile though was an anger, an anger and bitterness that was only growing inside her, the prophecy, it all came down to that; why hadn't she just leave it alone, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, but then that had always been her problem she thought wryly she had to know everything, even if sometimes knowledge wasn't power but heartbreak and suffering. She looked up in the mirror and saw Sirius watching her from the doorway "Why are you looking so serious Mione" He asked padding his way over to her, Hermione turned and faced him her hands braced on the sink, she was going to tell him now, quickly no fuss like removing a plaster she took a breath in and looked up at him, she opened her mouth to say the words but was stopped by his lips crashing onto hers, she sighed as he increased the pressure and took her bottom lip into his mouth, his tongue probing hers, seeking entry into her mouth, she gave herself up to the kiss, just one more day, one more day won't hurt she thought as she circled her arms around his neck as he lifted her onto the counter top.
Sirius smiled as he watched Hermione sleep, the early evening shadows falling across her back, making ghostly shapes, he should turn the light on really but she looked so peaceful sleeping. Sirius tried to remember the day he realised he was in love with Hermione,
Sirius watched her from across the room, she was completely unaware he was even here, he had told her he was going to see a friend that night but the plans had fallen through so now he was stood in the doorway of the lounge watching her play the piano, she was lost in her own world, her eyes closed as her fingers moved expertly over the keys, he hadn't known she could play the piano, he was surprised that there were things about her he still didn't know, he knew every inch of her pale creamy skin, he knew what her expressions meant, he knew when she was angry, sad or frustrated, he knew she hated mashed potato but loved marmite on toast, Sirius sighed to himself he realised that he would always learn new things about Hermione, that's what he loved about her, hold a minute he thought am I really in love with her, yes I am I really have fallen for her, shaking his head as he smiled and walked over to the piano, he was going to make love to the woman he loved on his mothers grand piano.
Sirius smiled at the memory, that had been a month ago now, he had been waiting to tell her he loved her but he had never said it to a woman before, well never said it and meant it he thought with a rakish grin on his face, he was going to tell her today, he was pretty sure she felt the same, he knew that by telling her he loved her they would have to go public, there was nothing more he wanted then to tell everyone that they were together, to be able to walk down the street and hold her hand, to take her out for dinner, to tell the world that he had chosen her. He knew it would be an adjustment for the group but they would be ok, they would tell Harry alone and then the others , he knew Harry would be happy that they were both happy, he was sure of it. Sirius felt Hermione stir next to him, she slowly opened her eyes "why are you sitting in the dark Sirius" she mumbled sleepily,
"I didn't want to wake you" he said as he lent over her, placing a kiss on her shoulder, he picked his wand up off the bedside counter and waved it, the lights sprung to life casting a warm glow across the room, Sirius rose up off the bed and walked over to the window, he closed the heavy red velevet curtains, he was so nervous, he walked to the end of the bed and looked at her, she was still half asleep but her eyes were following where he walked, he smiled at her and threw himself on the bed, "Sirius you are such a child" She said laughing
"Ah but isn't that why you love me" He said jokingly " I mean how can you resist me"
Hermione felt as though an ice cold bucket of water had been thrown over her, she no longer felt half asleep, she looked at him, he hadn't meant the words he had said but he was going to say them, she knew he was, the moment she had been dreading had finally arrived; her heart was telling her to be gentle and try not to hurt him while her head was telling her to get out of there now, Hermione reached over and grabbed Sirius' shirt, she couldn't do this naked, she needed to feel powerful and serious and if she was naked he would just kiss her and make her forget what she had to do.
She put on the shirt and stood up, she found her underwear on the floor and put them on, she turned to face him, she could see the confusion on his face and it hurt her, it was time to do this, she took a deep breath and sighed "Sirius"
He looked up at her confused, his comment was just a joke, was she upset at the flippancy of his words or was it something more, he had this feeling that it was more than the words he had said, he had unknowingly to her given her his heart and she had the power to break it he thought as he saw her nervously wringing her hands, "Mione " he replied
"I can't do this anymore, I can't give you what you want from me, I can't let you love me, your broken Sirius and I can't fix you, all this ever should have been about was sex, if you have been fool enough to fall in love with me than I am sorry, I told you it was never more than this " Hermione said, she felt awful for doing this but she had to make him realise this was the end, there couldn't be any sorrys after this, she had to make him hate her "You didn't think we could be a real couple do you, I mean your Sirius and I'm Hermione, it's like chalk and cheese , people wouldn't accept it, Harry would never accept it, he would hate you forever, All it was ever about was sex, a good time, a mutual agreement Sirius, you don't fall in love with woman, you are not in love with me
Sirius looked at her in shock and confusion as she stumbled round the room picking up her clothes and putting them on, she wasn't in love with him at all, he couldn't believe it, he had been on the verge of telling the 1st woman in his whole life he loved her and it had always been just sex for her, well at least he knew how all those woman felt now he thought bitterly, he watched as she pulled on her boots, she rose and stood in front of him " Sirius You cannot love me" she said quietly as she walked to the door, she paused as her hand turned the handle without looking back at him she said "It was fun while it lasted but it was never going to be more than a fling Sirius, you could never give me everything I need you are not the man I could be with forever, we can't even exist outside of this bedroom, goodbye.
Sirius felt like he had been punched in the stomach, like he couldn't breathe properly, the woman he loved had just walked out and left him, telling him that he wasn't good enough for her, he was broken, unfixable damaged goods, Sirius rose from the bed and walked across to the mirror, he looked at his reflection, she was right he was broken, he couldn't even look at himself he thought as his fist smashed through the looking glass.
Hermione apparated back to her cottage and collapsed in a heap on the floor, she had just destroyed the man she loved, she knew exactly what to say to hurt him, he never thought he was good enough for him and she had told him all those untruths, he was the only man she ever wanted to be with but it could never happen.
She felt the first tear fall into her hand and then the second and then it was a tidal wave of tears, her body shook with the power of her sobs, she cried until she was numb, she cried until she thought she couldn't cry anymore, only to think of his face and the tears would begin to flow. Hermione hated herself, she hated herself for hurting Sirius, she hated herself for always having to know everything and most of all she hated the fact that he was hurting more and she couldn't stop his pain.