Jiang Wei,
I didn't say that, not now, but maybe a few months ago. Also, your ideals are pathetic. I mean, really? What do you mean by a land of benevolence? You have to be more specific.
Sima Yi
Jiang Wei,
SHUT. UP. You don't know what I want in this land of ours.
Sima Yi
Dear Zhang Jiao,
You're dead. But who knows?
Sima Yi
Dear Guo Huai,
I wish I could heal you, but I am not a mage. Maybe Xun Yu is.
Sima Yi
Dear Guo Huai,
Now you want "shock bullets". That sounds really interesting, but... Cao Cao doesn't let Jin have a big budget. (Though I often mooch off of him and Cao Pi anyway...)
Sima Yi
Dear "Raoed," (What kind of name is that?)
I don't do makeovers. That's Zhang He's job.
Sima Yi
Dear Xiahou Ba,
You can perform that alchemy thing, why don't you just do that? The qilin blood is a maybe on certain conditions.
Sima Yi
Dear Shi,
Is the qilin male or female?
Your father
Dear Shi,
Oh, it's male? Well, I can't get blood from it now.
Your father
Dear Xiahou Ba,
I can't get qilin blood because the qilin is male. I really don't want to see what it will do if you cut into it.
Sima Yi
Dear Kagura,
Oh thank Nuwa, I was this close to making the new Cao Pi get eaten by the qilin. Fine, just reverse everything that has happened with the dragon and Cao Pi, and take the dragon with you.
Sima Yi
P.S: I know that, but Zhao gets himself involved with the wrong people a lot it's to the point where I stopped giving two shits.
Dear Cao Pi,
Stand outside for a moment. There's a visitor here.
Sima Yi
Dear Kagura,
Well, you did it. But... I don't have the qilin.
Sima Yi
Dear Kagura,
Oh fine, qilins cannot co-exist with humans blah, blah... Anyway, thanks a lot and bye.
Sima Yi
Dear Cao Cao,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! END OF STORY. I WILL NOT CREATE A PET FOR YOU!
Sima Yi