Bottom
We met in a most gorgeous clearing to rehearse our play. In all honesty, I was a touch late, but it mattered not as Quince was unable to keep control of the men without me. So we began our rehearsal and all was going well. We worked out certain logistical issues, such as how to manage a wall in the chamber, and the moon, and to insure that the lion frightened not the ladies. Afterwords I took the stage of sorts, a rocky outcrop with a perfectly flat top, and spoke my first speech. Other than a few, shall we say, confused words, it was clear that the men thought as highly of my speech as I did. So I went offstage to await my cue. I was so tired, all of a sudden. I thought I'd just close my eyes for a short while...
Robin Goodfellow
I was returning to my Master with the flower to cause sudden love for use on the fairy queen. To do so I was, in fact, passing Titania's bower when I noticed something strange. Often, at this point in the night, the portion in which the queen settles in for one of her naps, the bower is empty but for a few fairy guards. Tonight, however, her bower was filled with mortals. I stopped to take a closer look. In doing so, I confirmed that, indeed, the queen and her train were there, oblivious to the mortals. These were mortals of the roughest cut, men who no doubt labored in Athens, rehearsing about a play for what seemed to be the first time...the first time they'd read since grade school, it would indeed seem. Only a few minutes watching them stumble about and I was beside myself with laughter.
What fools these mortals be.
I knew that this was the perfect opportunity to charm the eyes of the queen, causing her respite-less love with one of these swain, but first, too make the man yet more distasteful I knew I must get creative. The queen has been known to sleep with mortals on occasion. I saw a player sleeping behind a slight ledge. Perfect. I slipped over to him. His head, I thought, was his best feature. Therefore it must go. Grinning, I transformed his head into that of an ass, which looking in his heart I saw best fitted him. Hard working, egotistical, stubborn...the man was practically begging for an ass head. I then awoke him and he stumbled on to their makeshift stage, belting, "If I were fair, Thisbe, I were only thine!"
At this all his friends worked themselves into a state of hysteria, running every which way and flailing their limbs and screaming fit to wake the dead. It was honestly the best laugh I've had in a long while. Soon they had all dispersed save one, a gangly man with a pair of hedge clippers. "Bottom," he stammered, "What do I see on thee?"
This somehow incited anger in the magicked mortal. "What do you see?," he snapped, "You see an ass head of your own, do you?" he took a step toward the gangly man who in turn jumped back, shrieking in the manner you would expect of a teenage princess who had yet to see a mouse would upon waking to find the mouse on her face.
"Oh, Bottom," fear and sympathy mixed in his voice, "thou art translated!" and with that, he too, fled into the night.
My master would be most pleased indeed.