Effie did a long list of things to keep from letting the ache in her heart consume her. She cleaned and organized until her clean room was even more pristine. She stacked up her schedule for the day after next. The biggest part of the day was when the doctor stopped by. She had him send over tons of information for her to read through about being pregnant. It was overwhelming to say the least and Effie felt like bands were tied around her chest, constricting her ability to breathe easily. The searing ache in her heart added more stress.
"Miss Trinket…" the doctor said sternly, "You're blood pressure is still considerably high.. Are you sure you're resting?"
Effie fidgeted and looked up at him. Emotional turmoil was to blame. "Yes, I've been resting."
The doctor didn't seem to buy it, "Well, given your condition now and the demands of your job I'm going to order that you remain on bedrest. It's not a punishment, I believe it is best for your baby. There's a big risk you'll miscarry with blood pressure this high." He added the last comment given the incredulous look Effie gave him.
"There's at least a week left of the games, Doctor. I have a job to do. I'm an escort for a reason, my job requires me to be active and present in the games. I'll be fired." Effie felt the grip she had on reality start to slide. Frustrated tears welled in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Miss Trinket. The high level of activity you are used to is out of the question for the remainder of your pregnancy." He handed Effie a medicine to help with the blood pressure problems.
"Why do I even have this high blood pressure problem? I'm healthy. I eat right and I don't often drink more than one or two drinks." She asked as the doctor stood up.
"It's not that severe Miss Trinket. It's in a range that alerts me to give you these precautions, but still enough to be troublesome in a pregnancy. Many women have this, given the fact that your job is physically demanding this is necessary. You'd lose this baby due to the stress alone. You could have slightly higher blood pressure from genetics."
Effie nodded and sat back on the bed. The doctor showed himself out and Effie let out a frustrated scream into the pillow. Begrudgingly she sent off a message to Seneca on her tablet letting him know she wouldn't be able to do much until next year's game, making up a lie that her condition hadn't improved and she had contracted a stubborn case of the flu. That at least would get her out of the dinner she had agreed to with him.
She turned on the tv and watched Katniss and Peeta wandering together. An announcement had gone out earlier about two being able to win. Absentmindedly Effie scrolled through her tablets calendar and checked on meetings she should have been at. She saw that Haymitch had taken them all. 36 meetings in the past two days. His current meeting had just ended with Seneca a few hours ago. That meant the announcement had come from the meeting. He had succeeded in persuading Seneca. Damn him. Effie felt her eyes well with tears again. Damn him for doing this. Damn him for pulling this off. Damn him.
She threw her tablet aside and pulled the covers over her head and will herself not to sob. How did she let herself come to this? Crying over something she never had with Haymitch Abernathy of all people. For years he was crass, belligerent and lazy. Only a while ago did he turn out be different in private. Effie tossed and turned for several more hours watching the slow goings as all the tributes seemed to be hiding from each other. With such little activity Effie knew Seneca would be forcing them into action. There's probably be a feast or mutts coming within a few hours to liven up the show.
Effie tossed the remote away after switching the tv off. She pushed open the wide double doors and walked onto her balcony. The breeze was cool and she braced her hands on the cold stone railing and looked out over the sprawling city below the 12th floor.
She looked down at her stomach, having this baby would mean changing her life that she was all too content with. Her small stylish apartment was no place for a baby. How could she hide a crying child from nosy neighbors? Could she even manage to raise the baby without suspicion? How would having a child work when she needed to devote her every waking minute to the games for several weeks a year, longer even if a tribute from 12 won.
Her hand traced the slight curve of her belly. It was still unnoticeable to others, but blatantly obvious to her.
"Effie.." She heard the doors to the patio snap shut and that voice was unmistakable. Her heart thudded and she didn't turn around despite her wanting to run toward him. "Before you even tell me to go.. please hear me out."
Haymitch was sharply dressed in dress pants and a blue shirt. He had on a tie, something she never saw him wear if he could manage it. She looked him over and nodded. He looked so handsome it tugged at her heart. Painful feelings came back. She blinked and leaned against the railing.
He looked nervous but mustered some courage and spoke, "You said a lot of things earlier that can't possibly be true."
Effie grimaced, "Like what?" Her voice sounded so small. She wanted to smack herself, in her mind she wanted to sound okay. She wanted to sound like she was sure of what she wanted. All that came out was a voice that sounded like she was at war with herself.
Haymitch stepped closer, "A booty call? I think that's what you called yourself. C'mon Effie you know that's far from the truth and you know it." There was no way she was just some girl he brought around for sex. She had to know that, he thought she had known that.
"What am I to you then?" She asked and finally found the courage to look him in the eyes. "Did I somehow miss the conversation where we decided what this is between us?"
Haymitch fumbled for the right thing to say. He stammered a few times and paused.
"This silence says enough, Haymitch." Effie said softly and looked away.
Haymitch frowned and stared at her. She was… She was perfect. She was bossy, kind –hearted and damn stubborn. She was something he wanted to be his. "We never talked about this, Effie. This isn't exactly supposed to be going on. But I don't want it to stop… and I'm pretty sure you're lying when you say I should go."
"If it never came up then... then why bother now." She felt her eyes well and she quickly blinked the tears back. Haymitch closed the distance between them, his hands wrapped around hers.
"Look at me then, right in the eyes and tell me to go." He demanded. His face mere inches from hers.
Effie felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt the words on her tongue but they couldn't come out.
"Look at me and say it, Eff."
Tears splashed down her face, "I can't."
Haymitch pressed her back against the railing and kissed her hard. Effie cinched her hands into his shirt and pulled him close. Haymitch gently pulled his lips away, "Why did you say it earlier then." His forehead rested against hers.
"I don't know.." Effie sighed. She shivered as his hands wrapped around her shoulders. "It's complicated, Haymitch. Doing this alone would be better. You have more to lose."
"I lose even more if I let you walk away." He whispered against her ear.
That alone made Effie want to cry again, "I lo.." She started and stopped herself quickly.
Haymitch kissed her forehead, "What were you saying?"
Effie suddenly felt fear deep in her stomach, what if he didn't feel as strongly for her in return. "For a while I've known something about you.. It makes everything way harder every day. I think you know it too. But saying it makes things real, and it makes this circumstance harder.."
Haymitch really didn't understand what she was going on about, "Just spit it out, you've never beat around the bush before."
"I can't go on like this.." She said quickly. "I can't sleep next to you each day and not know what we are. It's been like this for 2 years. What am I to you?
Haymitch frowned and quickly worked to erase it from his face. He didn't want to upset her anymore, "Effie… You know we can't go out there and act like we do behind doors." He motioned toward the building.
"That's not what I care about.." She looked up at him, "I need to know, behind doors what am I?"
He looked down at her and kissed her cheek, "God, Eff, all this fighting is about what we can call this?"
Effie looked hurt, "It's important to me now.."
Haymitch plucked at the loose shirt she wore. His fingers grazed over her belly. "You want this kid?"
Effie pressed her hands over his and laid his palm flat against her stomach. His fingers caressed her skin and he fell quiet. Every fiber of his being was at war with this tiny human. Part of him wanted to save it from life in this world the other part of him was selfish. Selfish enough to want a child to raise with a woman who made him feel like there was some hope left in such a damned place. "Tell me what you're thinking." Effie whispered.
"It'll be reaped the minute it turns of age."
"You don't know that." Effie countered.
"Snow knows everything. He'll find out and the kid will be ripped from our arms."
"Snow only knows what his people can find out. We're only slightly on his radar once a year. There are ways to make this work." Effie breathed and felt his other hand skim across her stomach.
"They took everyone I loved, Effie."
Effie paused, he said it… He was implying. Her heart thudded. "I know they did."
He murmured, "I can't let that happen to you or the kid."
Effie felt her skin tingle, that was his way of admitting it. She was sure. "Haymitch… Do you love me?"
He looked down at her, "Do you love me?"
Effie looked at him and nodded, "Yes."
He smirked and leaned forward to capture her in another long kiss. Effie smiled against his lips and broke away for air. "Do you love me?" She asked quickly, needing to hear his answer.
"Isn't it obvious?" Haymitch tugged her toward the room.
"No.. Actually it's not. Brick walls are easier to read than you." Effie grumbled and put her hand on the door to open it.
"Well go look inside. Tell me would I do any of that if I didn't love or care about you?" He pushed open the door for her.
Effie looked into the room and smiled. He had brought in food, not just any food. Her favorite food. Chicken and noodles in a rich creamy sauce. Warm baked bread and sparkling grape juice to replace her favorite wine. On another tray were large chocolate covered strawberries that put the ones from this morning to shame. On her bedside table were fresh flowers and a bag full of things she liked to do. In it were current issues of her favorite magazines and newspapers. New books and movies. A soft new blanket was laid out by all of it.
"You did all of this?" Effie couldn't help but smile.
"With a little bit of help, yes." He motioned for her to sit and eat. "I know you got put on more bedrest and I knew you'd be more upset. I hope it'll help a little. Really the games won't go much longer. There's 6 left the last time I checked. "
Effie pecked his cheek and headed into the room, not even the slightest bit upset over bed rest again. She was thrilled with what Haymitch had done and said to her. "You're very sweet. Thank you."
He laughed and pointed to her bed, "Go eat, I'm exhausted and I'm sure you didn't eat all day. You know you'll have to fix that now. You can't forget meals."
Effie wrapped up in the new blanket and dug into her meal as Haymitch got ready for bed and promptly crawled under the covers and shut his eyes. She set the tray aside ten minutes later and curled up against him. "You all good now?" He breathed slowly.
"Yes." Effie had a full belly and her eyes were heavy.
"Goodnight." He kissed her again and clicked off the lights.
**I just love reading your reviews. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! More to come midweek!**