Losing My Faith

I stumbled out of the bathroom and Dean laughed, grabbing me from behind, keeping me from falling flat on my face. I giggled and twisted in his arms, reaching up on tiptoe to kiss him again. Dean flopped onto the bed, pulling me down on top of him.

"Well, hi there," I said, still giggling. He pulled my face down to meet his and spoke against my lips.

"Hey."

Sam walked into the hotel room at that moment, a fast food bag in one hand, a coffee in the other. I sat up, forcing Dean with me. He laughed, pointing at Sam.

"You, my brother, have the worst timing imaginable."

I laughed and grabbed his chin, kissing him.

"Don't worry, love. They'll be plenty of time for that later."

I winked and Dean kissed me again. Sam made a gagging noise that sent me into giggles again.

"You guys are gross," he said, handing me the coffee.

"Thanks, Sammy," I said, smiling up at him. Dean leaned his forehead into my shoulder and I sipped my coffee. Sam sat down in the chair, tearing into a burger.

Someone else burst through the door and Dean and I both jumped to our feet, Sam quickly following our example. The coffee fell to the floor, splattering across the floor. My head felt like it was going to explode. I grabbed the sides of my head, gasping in pain. Dean pushed me behind him and my back slammed against the wall. He stood in front of me protectively and the world swayed underneath me. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans for support, leaning into his shoulder blade. I managed to open my eyes through the pain and see who it was.

"Cas?" Sam cried, incredulous. "What are you doing here?"

Castiel fixed his eyes on me and held out a hand towards me. My gut felt like an accordion, and my knees buckled. I fell to the ground in a heap and Dean dropped to my side.

"Cas! Quit it! She's not here to hurt us. Stop it with the angel mojo. Please."

Dean was pleading with the angel, begging for him to stop hurting me. Even through the tears that filled my eyes and the pain radiating through my body, I had to smile.

But Castiel released me and the pain dissipated.

"I will leave the girl alone if she promises to leave."

Dean helped me to my feet, but didn't let go of me, tucking me into his side.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't do this to me, Cas," I whined, rolling my eyes.

"If you did not want me to do this to you, you should never have come back, Gemma O'Neil."

"For the last time, I'm not a rouge, Castiel. I'm a half-breed. Apparently the only one seeing as you and your angel buddies keep treating me like I'm some kind of leper."

Dean stared at me, and then at Cas, and then back at me.

"What the hell are you talking about, Gemma?" Dean asked, still glancing between the two of us, a protective hand still extended in front of me. Castiel took a step forward and I tensed.

"I think you should go, Sam," he said quietly, not even glancing in Sam's direction.

"But, why-" Sam started to speak, but the angel cut him off with a snap of his fingers. Sam disappeared for a moment, the reappeared in the bathroom. He tried to walk out of the bathroom, already yelling a string of profanities at Castiel, but the door shut in his face before he crossed the threshold. He banged on the door for a good minute, but then the noise stopped. Dean turned to Cas again.

"What do you want, Cas?"

"I want the girl to leave. Now."

I won't leave him, Castiel. I can't. He needs me. Sam needs me.

I spoke to Castiel in his head. I couldn't have Dean listening in on what we were saying

You have to leave, Gemma. The angels are growing angrier by the minute. Crowley killed three of the garrison just today. If you truly are looking out for Sam and Dean's best interests, you will leave them.

I leave him and I can't ever come back!

You have left him before...

I was dragged away! If I leave, I can't come back and Zachariah will kill me. What do you think that will do to Dean? His blood runs through my veins, Castiel. Killing me will kill him. Remember that.

You have to go, Gemma. If Zachariah finds your location, if he finds me, he will kill you and he doesn't care whether or not it will kill Dean. They can always bring him back. They won't bring you back.

And that is why I can't go, Castiel! I have to stay with him. We are each other's protection. You told me that. You taught me how to become 'human', Cas. My mind is part demon, part angel, but my soul is human. The angels will regret killing someone as special, as rare as me.

You are the exception to the rule, Gemma. You need to leave.

I won't do it, Castiel. You still have your expectations set too high for me. You always expect too much from me. Ever since you found me, you've expected more than what I'm capable of! I can't leave Dean, Cas. I just can't. I won't. Crowley can come if he wants, but I will protect Sam and Dean Winchester until the day I die.

Cas squeezed his hand and I doubled over again, gasping.

Do not force me into something I do not want to do, Gemma.

If you kill me, Dean will go back to hell. And I know you do not want to go back down there to get him, because it'll take too long and then Lucifer'll have him in a second. And Sam will give in because then he can save Dean. So do not start with things you do not want to do. Let me go.

Keeping Dean safe is not an issue, Gemma. You are the only thing standing in the way of him and safety. If you leave, I can keep him safe.

The pain intensified and I screamed.

"Fine!" I yelled, both inside and out. And as the word left my mouth, the pain, again, vanished.

I told you, Gemma. When you left, I told you that this would not end well. Now you see what happens when you do not listen to the angels. I pray you do not make that same mistake again.

A new voice entered our mind combat and I jumped in Dean's arms.

Leave, Cas. Leave Gemma alone. I won't let her leave and I won't let you take her away from me. So just get your feathery ass out of here.

Dean spoke loudly and clearly in both our heads and I pulled back to stare at him. A single tear tumbled down his cheek and I kissed it away when it stopped on the freckle next to his lip. He shook his head and the soft, swishing noises of feathers filled my ears.