A/N: Soo, finally a new Glee episode *yay*! I loooved Santana teaming up with Kurt and Blaine... how angry she got at Karofsky's gay remarks... it reminded me quite a bit of her reaction in chapter 3 of this story :P

I wanted to say THANKS to all my anonymous reviewers, it's a shame I can't answer to your comments! Still love to read your opinions, I really appreciate it :)

And I'm sorry to make it so rough for the hardcore Brittana shippers ... but well, who knows where this is going.. will it be Stacey, will it be Brittany... I have no idea :P

Enjoy reading and make me happy with your reviews ;)

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Chapter 7

It wasn't even 6AM when Santana woke up, her arm still wrapped around the girl next to her. The room wasn't bright yet, still she could already hear a few early birds chirping.

Trying to move into a more comfortable position, she could feel Stacey look at her.

"You awake?" she asked her, a little insecure.

"Hm yeah" Santana replied, "somehow I don't feel tired anymore."

The room was silent for a few seconds.

"I'm really sorry about all this" the blonde tried to apologize. "I don't know, I didn't want you to find out like this.."

"I know" Santana said calm but friendly, looking at the ceiling. "You don't have to be... embarassed or something"

"I'm not" Stacey replied, carefully touching the latina's hand. "You were actually very sweet to me..."

Santana had to smile a little.

"My dad left us when I was five." Stacey suddenly started. Santana hadn't expected her to actually begin talking about her issues, even though she was happy the girl seemed to consider her so trustworthy.

Santana turned around so she was laying on her side and facing her, the slowly rising sun giving her just enough light to make out the blonde's features.

"I've been living in this house with my mom ever since... we used to get along quite well."

Santana just nodded and held the girl's hand, not wanting to interrupt her.

"I had my coming out when I was 14... quite early I guess..."

"How did she react?" Santana wanted to know, imagining herself having that talk with her parents.

"I'd say she reacted... well... alright at first... I think she just thought it was a phase... but I knew it wasn't."

Santana had always wondered herself whether this was just a phase, and it had taken her a long time to acknowledge that it wasn't.

"So I started meeting people who dealt with the same stuff... You know, I was never really good at lying or hiding the truth, I felt so much like talking about all this, so I made other gay friends and started going to queer parties and such stuff, it was fun."

The latina almost felt a little jealous that the other girl had been so confident with herself at such an early age, she knew she could never have done it that way.

"This went on for quite a while, I made my first experiences with girls... until I met this one special person."

"What was her name?" Santana wanted to know, sensing that her friend's story was about to get more serious.

"Her name's Sarah... She was pretty much an outsider at this party, not really connecting with anyone, but I thought she was totally beautiful. We started talking and I knew pretty soon that she didn't really feel comfortable there. Her parents didn't know anything about all this, they were quite religious and stuff, not exactly thrilled when it came to the whole gay topic."

Stacey let out a little ironic laugh.

"Still it seemed as if she liked me too, so we kept seeing each other ... we kept seeing each other for month and I completely fell for her."

The image of Brittany came to Santana's mind and she tried to push it away as fast as possible.

"We had to keep our relationship a secret and I actually agreed to all this. You know, I was really never the type who cared about what other people thought, but I still played along, she just meant too much to me."

She swallowed hard, still holding Santana's hands who was still listening but seemed a little sad.

"Sarah got so paranoid, at some point she even arranged fake dates with guys, just so her parents wouldn't start getting suspicious about me being at their place so often. Can you imagine that? I agreed that my girlfriend could go out with boys, just so she'd stay with me."

Her face seemed lost in memories, a bitter smile on her lips.

"Of course she promised me nothing would ever happen on these dates, but it was pretty messed up..."

"Yeah, I can imagine..." Santana replied slowly. Images of herself dating guys flashed in front of her eyes, moments when she told Brittany that she was just a nice way to spend time when her current boyfriend wasn't around. The thought hurt and embarassed her.

"She even asked me not to tell my mom about her and me, just because she was terrified our mothers could talk one day and she'd drop the bomb and her parents would freak out.. so I started lying to basically everyone, just to protect her."

Stacey's voice seemed close to crying, but she did her best to hold it together.

"I felt like I was losing myself in this whole relationship, it just wasn't me anymore.."

"It really doesn't sound like you", Santana agreed, stroking the blonde's hand with her thumb.

"But I felt so... yeah... addicted to her almost...but I kept my mouth shut all these months."

"Then what happened?" the latina asked, feeling that this wasn't the whole story.

"We got caught. Of course it had to come to this, I mean, how long can you keep something like that hidden?" she shook her head, still in disbelief about how absurd it all sounded when she spoke it out loud.

"Her parents caught us one day at her place when they came home earlier than expected, a typical situation... it was a disaster. Of course they kicked me out, throwing tons of insults at me.."

"What did you do?" the smaller girl wanted to know, feeling sorry for Stacey.

"I hoped we'd find a way of course... I hoped we could all... I don't know, just sit together and talk about it, you know? I thought they'd accept it sooner or later, and if not, then our love would be strong enough to survive it and we'd just... run away together."

She paused for a moment.

"I really was stupid."

Santana shook her head, wanting to support the girl. "You weren't stupid, just in love."

"Sometimes I think that's the same" Stacey replied, laughing a little.

"Anyhow..." she went on, "they sent her away. To boarding school. I couldn't believe it."

"Wow, that's kinda rough" Santana had to agree. "Did you try long distance then?"

"Haha, long distance..." the blonde echoed ironically. "No... I went over to her place again, wanted to make a plan with her... but she just yelled at me. Called me a fucking bitch, told me I destroyed her life, it was insane."

A tear was rolling down her cheek now that she quickly brushed away while Santana kept stroking her hand, encouraging her to finish her story.

"I felt completely crushed. I had built my life around her, you know?"

Santana knew exactly what she meant.

"The moment she yelled at me, with so much hate in her eyes and in her voice, I didn't even recognize her anymore. It wasn't the same person, not as if she'd ever loved me... it was the worst pain I ever felt." Her own voice sounded a little angry by now, the memories obviously bringing back many bottled up emotions.

"So I ran to my mom, looking for someone to comfort me..."

"I guess it didn't turn out well?" Santana asked carefully, already expecting the answer.

"No. She tried to pretend she felt sorry for me until she was all like 'what do you expect me to do now? All I can do is hope that you learned from this experience and become normal again.' That did it for me, that was it. I was so angry and hurt and had my mom call me abnormal in my weakest moment. I couldn't handle it, not at all."

The thought that someone's own parent would reject their daughter like this scared Santana and made her angry at the same time. As sorry as she felt for the blonde next to her, she certainly wished something like this would never happen to herself.

"So..." Stacey went out, clearing her throat, "I'm not proud of what I did after that... I know it was wrong and the most stupid thing I ever could have done... but ... yeah... in that moment I just saw no other way."

She turned around so she was lying on her belly now and Santana started playing with her blonde hair.

"My mom never forgave me... She says shes working, but I know she's living at my aunt's most of the time. She couldn't stand looking at me anymore after what I did. I suppose she made herself responsible for all this... but all she does is give me money and leave me alone for weeks... I don't blame her though."

Santana felt the need to call Stacey's mother and yell at her for being such an uncaring fuck up, though that probably wouldn't do the blonde any good.

"Thanks for telling me all this" she whispered instead, kissing the blonde's head.

Brushing some hair out of her neck, she could finally read the words that were tattooed on Stacey's skin in bold, artful writing. They said 'Don't let go...'

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Brittany was standing on the schoolyard next to Artie, absent-mindedly shoving peanutbutter M&Ms into her mouth. She hadn't really been listening to anything her boyfriend had been rambling about the past twenty minutes, not really in the mood to make conversation.

Letting her gaze travel over the many students moving in and out of the school building, she suddenly dropped her bag, the colorful chocolate rolling all over the floor.

The boy in his wheelchair looked up confused.

"Brit? Are you alright?"

The blonde didn't answer, she just kept staring in one direction, apparently not even noticing that anyone was speaking to her.

"Hey, Brittany, what's wrong?"

Artie finally followed his girlfriend's gaze and what he saw brought clearance. It was Santana, Brittany's former best friend, holding hands with another girl, walking across the yard. They weren't even making an eye-catching appearance, they just seemed very much like... a couple.

"Who's that girl next to Santana?" the boy wanted to know, obviously not recognizing her right away. "Are they... dating?" he added, raising one eyebrow.

Still not answering, Brittany simply walked away, mesmerized, leaving her boyfriend behind without any further explanation.

Following the two girls, the blonde tried to remain unrecognized, always staying a few steps behind them until their ways parted in front of one of the classrooms. Before Stacey walked into the room, she gave the latina next to her a kiss on her lips, smiling.

Brittany felt as if someone had slapped her. Or kicked her. Or stabbed her. Or all at the same time. She was so shocked, she didn't even notice the tears running down her cheeks.

Suddenly the blonde felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around, shocked. It was Will Schuester, a very concerned look on his face.

"Brittany, are you alright?" he asked, worried.

The blonde girl just stared at him, suddenly shaking her head wildly, running out of the hallway. She didn't hear what her teacher called after her, she only knew she needed to get away from this place as fast as possible.

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When school was finally over, Santana was glad she made it through another boring day . Stacey had to stay for another hour to repeat one of her Latin courses, so the brunette decided to head home already and finally change into some fresh clothes.

Her mind still busy processing the past night, Brittany's face suddenly showing up in front of her completely caught her by surprise.

"Hey" the blonde started, sounding very shy.

Santana just stared back at her, not knowing what to do or say.

"Hey" she finally replied, trying to break eye contact and to focus on whatever else was happening around them.

"So... you're with Stacey now?" Brittany asked carefully, doing her best to sound friendly.

Santana wasn't aware that the blonde had seen them together, even though she had secretly hoped so.

"Seems so..." she answered, still not looking at the girl in front of her.

"Are you in love with her now?" Brittany wanted to know, not meaning to put so much stress on the word 'her'.

The latina couldn't believe the other girl was actually asking her something like that, so completely straight-forward. On the other hand... this was Brittany Pierce, she always spoke out what she thought.

Santana's brain was working fast - what was the right thing to answer? Especially... what was the answer? The blonde had managed to ask things that Santana hadn't even asked herself yet. Was she in love with Stacey? Could falling in love even happen that fast? No matter what the answer was, she at least was sure about what she wanted Brittany to believe.

"Yes... yes I'm in love with her" Santana finally said, doing her best to sound completely convinced.

Brittany did her best not to show any emotions, quietly staring back at her former best friend.

"Okay" she then whispered, barely audible. She tried to smile at Santana, though it looked more like an awkward grimace.

"I'm really happy for you" she added then. "I hope she loves you back. She seems really nice."

Santana couldn't believe her ears. Brittany couldn't be serious. Even though she hadn't planned to actually hurt the blonde, she had at least hoped Brittany would react more affected by all this. She never would have admitted it out loud, but secretly she had hoped Brittany would be crushed by the news of her dating Stacey. That she would cry, get angry, something. Instead she stood in front of her, wishing her the best?

"Well... thanks..." she replied confused. "Anything else?"

Brittany just shook her head, so Santana walked past her, focusing straight on the street in front of her.

"San?" the blonde then called after her.

The latina stopped for a moment, looking over her shoulder.

"Do you think that... um... we can be friends again?"

The girl was killing her.

"We'll see..." was all she managed to get out, continuing her walk off the school area, not looking back.

She would not let Brittany mess up her head again with something like that. She was finally moving on, focusing on something new, she would be confident now.

Determined, the latina grabbed her cell phone and started typing.

"So, are you ever gonna take me to one of these gay parties?"

Only seconds later her phone vibrated, showing her one new message.

"I thought you'd never ask ;-) "

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TBC