Chapter 7: "I ain't lost, just wandering"
Almost a week had gone by without any other major event for Santana or the Pierces. The whisperings were fading at school, and even if it seemed like the Glee Clubbers were preparing a major intervention, they still hadn't mentioned anything yet. Sue hadn't seemed too pleased when she had seen the mutilated face of her Head Cheerleader, but the wound was healing and the bruise slowly fading away. Everything seemed fine.
When one evening, while the girls were doing their homework in Brittany's bedroom, the phone rang downstairs.
"Hello?" Mrs. Pierce answered.
"Hi, Mandy? It's Ricardo Lopez."
Mandy Pierce and Maria Lopez were friends; at least they used to be. They had been to college together, had gotten pregnant with a three months interval, and had started raising their daughters together. But where the Pierces were permissive and very tolerant, the Lopez were strict and close-minded. This difference in their way of seeing their lives and their children's education had made the two families drift apart at some point; but Brittany and Santana had remained best friends, growing around each other. Besides, Santana had always been going to Brittany's house since her father was very busy working at the hospital, and her mother was always gone on business trips.
"Hi, Ricardo. It's been a while. How have you been lately?"
Mrs. Pierce hadn't asked Santana again about what had happened the night she had showed up on their doorstep, bleeding and crying, but she knew it had something to do with her parents. She decided not to mention it yet, and waited to see what Dr Lopez wanted from her instead.
"Not so well. I suppose Santana has been staying at your house during the last few days?" he asked without preamble.
She wasn't the kind of person to lie, so she decided to say the truth.
"Yes, indeed. I hope it doesn't bother you and M…"
"I want her to come back home." He cut her abruptly.
She was surprised, to say the least, and knew Santana well enough to guess that she wouldn't be very happy about it and might oppose some resistance.
"Ricardo, I'm not sure she…"
"Tell her I want her to be home tonight at 10pm."
And with that, he hung up.
It was 9:15pm.
Santana and Brittany were doing their homework, splayed on Brittany's bed, when Mrs. Pierce entered the room. The girls were laughing at something Brittany had said about the history cards Santana was trying to make her learn for her test, and they turned to her with a big smile on their faces. Mrs. Pierce felt bad about popping their little bubble of happiness; like that, they looked like when they were eleven and happy, unaware of the difficulties life would bring on their way while growing up.
"Santana…"
She didn't know how to break the news, so she decided to just go for it. Earlier she said it, earlier it would be done.
"I talked to your father. He wants you to come back home… Tonight."
Santana's smile faded immediately, while Brittany's face turned to a frown. Mrs. Pierce didn't miss the frightened expression that showed up on Santana's face. It was there for only half a second and then the girl's face closed again, as unreadable as it was when she was trying to hide her feelings.
"Honey, if anything's wrong with your parents, you can tell me," she said, focused on her face. "You know I won't judge you, right?"
There was an awkward silence, and Mandy Pierce was thinking that she would never get to know what had happened, when Brittany answered, without even taking her breathe between the words.
"Santana's father slapped her the other day, and her mother told her to go to hell" She said.
It was stupid to hide it any longer. Her eyes trailed to Santana, wanting to see if she was mad at her for spilling the truth, but her friend kept her head down. She couldn't see her eyes.
Mandy Pierce opened her mouth, and stared at her daughter in disbelief.
"What? Why would they…"
"I came out to them the other day. That's the reason they kicked me out." Santana cut her, talking really fast so that the words would feel less heavy.
She raised her head, defiance and pride shining in her dark eyes as she stared at her best friend's mother. But all Mrs. Pierce could see was the incredible amount of fear that hid behind.
"Now you can hate me too."
Santana wasn't ready for the woman's next move, but in less than a second, she felt arms wrapping around her shoulders. "I would never ever hate you" murmured Mrs. Pierce in the short girl's hair. "You're such a strong girl, Santana."
And with that, Santana burst into sobs, letting Mandy Pierce rock her back and forth, as Brittany wrapped her arms around her to help her feel loved again.
The door opened, and a small frame entered, slowly making its way to the bed.
"Mom, why is Santana crying?" Wendy asked, wrapping her small arms around the two blondes and the dark-haired girl, adding herself to the mass.
"Because, Honey. Sometimes you need to cry in order to feel better."
At 9:58pm, the three blondes and Santana were in front of the Lopez house.
"You're sure you're ready to do it?" Brittany asked, brushing her fingers across Santana's arm.
Santana was looking through the car's window, her eyes fixed on the house in which she had grew up.
"Yeah." She answered. "I have to."
She checked her watched. 9:59pm. Her father hated when she was late.
"I should go," she said, hugging her best friend and kissing Mandy and Wendy. She took the travel bag from the backseat and got out of the car, walking to her house without turning back.
She was Santana freaking Lopez. She could do it.
"I'll call you later!" Brittany called from behind. She turned around to give her a small half-hearted smile and a nod, waved at Wendy, and entered the house.
It was exactly 10pm.
She entered the living room anxiously, expecting her parents to be waiting for her.
They were here, her father sitting in the armchair in front of the television and reading the newspaper, her mother reading a book beside him, on the couch. They didn't acknowledge her presence, and she stayed in the entrance, fidgeting with the handle of her bag, not knowing how to introduce herself.
Ten seconds passed. And when her father finally talked, he didn't even look at her. "What are you waiting for? It's late. You should be in your bedroom."
She stayed a short moment stuck in her place, not sure if she had heard him well; then she turned around and slowly made her way upstairs and to her bedroom, where she closed the door before sitting on her bed, still stunned by what had just happened.
She had been prepared for a confrontation. She had been waiting for them to yell, to shout, to try to "talk her out of her homosexuality", to throw things in the air, to slap her again. She had even, in the back of her mind, hoped for some apologies or understanding. She had been prepared to everything but this. Indifference. Impassivity. This wasn't even something she had foreseen, out of all the things that could have happened when she had made her way into this house that didn't feel like hers. It caught her by surprised, and hurt her even more than anything.
She stayed there for a while, just sitting on her bed, before her phone finally vibrated in her pocket. It took her a few seconds to realize that it should be Brittany, who had promised to call her.
"Hey" she exhaled, feeling like breathing for the first time since she had opened the door.
"San? Are you ok?"
Brittany seemed genuinely worried for her, and she felt the urge to reassure her. After all, her parents hadn't made a scene or anything.
"Yeah Britt, I'm fine."
They talked for a while on the phone, and Brittany promised to come and pick Santana up the next morning, since her friend had left her car parked in the Pierces' alley.
"Don't worry B, everything will be fine." Santana said one last time before hanging up. She didn't really believe it herself.
That's only when she found herself in the dark that she realized she was going to sleep alone for the first time since everything had started.
She picked her I-Pod in her bag, unable to stand the silence of the room, deprived of Brittany's steady breathing. She rapidly changed into some panties and Brittany's favorite tank top – the one with the two ducks on it, one black and one yellow – before sliding into her bed, putting the earphones in her ears, and pulling her pillow into a tight embrace in order to feel less lonely.
She hesitated for a second, looking at her playlists.
Amy or Adele?
She finally decided against Amy Winehouse. Since her abrupt death a few months ago, listening to her songs was always painful, and she didn't need that tonight.
Why is everything going so wrong all at the same time?
Adele so.
As the first notes of Hometown Glory played into her ears, her thoughts drifted to what her life looked like right now. Her parents ignored her. Everything seemed to indicate that she would never get to be with the girl she loved. Her favorite artist was dead, and it was only a matter of time before the whole high school knew her secret and started treating her differently.
Her life was a complete failure, and it seemed like it wouldn't get better anytime soon.
I've been walking in the same way as I did,
Missing out the cracks in the pavement,
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet,
"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I can call?"
"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering"
She cried herself to sleep that night, listening to Adele's raspy voice and sad lyrics.
Shit Lopez. Don't make an habit out of it.
A/N : It was a difficult chapter to write, as it's really important for the story, but I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think about it and what you think will happen to Santana next!