Shampoo's Revenge 7
by Skysaber

Genma cowered.
Not even the Master had inspired such dread in him. His pursuer had
scarcely been there two days and yet already knew all about his
favorite hiding spots, accustomed trails, and haunts. It was getting so
he was afraid *not* to leave the house (seeing as how a rifle bullet
had nearly split his skull lying on his tatami mat), but everywhere
else he went the big game lunatic was always just barely a step behind
him.
Or in this case beside him.
The Englishman sipped a tea quietly on the barstool just beside
Genma, watching the door and muttering. "Everything I know of this
beast tells me he'll be in here. Why don't I see him?"
Genma was just about to screw his courage together and beat the man
senseless with a surprise attack when he saw, out of the corner of his
eye, a local Yakuza enforcer finish eying the Englishman's large gun.
The bald, overweight martial artist slank back a trifle in his seat, so
as to be inconspicuously out of the way as the local crime family took
care of his own worst nightmare - and if they left something, why, he'd
be right here to assure himself that the man would not recover.
A coward cornered is a dangerous thing.
Still watching the door intently, Sir Wilfred was completed
oblivious to the approach of the large Yakuza thug, until the latter
had found an isolated spot in the bar completely out of the
Englishman's range of vision, and pulled out a small, silenced pistol.
*BANG!*
The Yakuza thug slid bonelessly to the ground, very dead, as the
red hole between his eyes could attest. Sir Wilfred calmly replaced his
own, British service pistol and calmly produced a license which he
showed to the bartender without removing his gaze from the door.
"Diplomatic immunity, old chap. And would you get that body removed? I
don't want the smell of blood to alert our panda."
"P... p... Panda!?" The bartender stuttered.
Instantly, the Britisher's sharp eyes had seized upon the barkeep.
His mustache twirled alarmingly. "You wouldn't happen to know anything
about it, would you old chap?"
The barkeep glanced several times between the two customers seated
right next to each other, then decided that his own skin was worth far
more to him than one customer, no matter how regular, and he indicated
Genma. "You'll be wanting to talk to him, sir. Now if you'll excuse
me." He went and got the body removed.

...and somewhere in Shinjuku a boy opened a can of tuna from his
grocery bag and to his shock found some girls clothes. Frantically, he
opened the other ten cans. All were filled with girl's clothes.
The boy hung his head. No girl. Too bad.

The wind stirred the cloak of a man poised, with a chef's hat on
his head, an apron around his waist, and butcher knives at his belt, as
he lurked awaiting his prey.
He was Kim Chi, Master of Martial Arts Swine Cookery.
He had also been betrayed.
For the first time in his long, distinguished career, he'd had to
give a refund. It was appalling! Without precedent! The honor and glory
of his school was now at stake! The only flaw in an otherwise *perfect*
lifetime of service to the ever-grateful public now in ruins! All
because of a single, flawed roast.
There was only one thing he could do.
As the martial arts restaurant chef peered around the rim of the
wall separating him from the alley, he spied the awful, evil porker who
had somehow survived his baking and by doing so ruined the master
chef's career! Hands twisted more tightly about the handle of the net
which he held, watching the evil piglet heat a pot of water. The pack,
the abandoned clothes, the umbrella... all of these got ignored as
unimportant.
It was time for the pig to die and redeem the master chef's
reputation.

Little Azusa sat perched daintily, one leg curled up where she
could hug it, on a soft cushion (very cute) in front of a cute TV set
in the middle of her cute room as her mother and older sister came
gracefully in to join her.
On the TV was an announcement of a new Martial Arts Figure Skating
challenge. The small family watched it in silence. The whole family
took these kind of events seriously. The Shiratori name was dear to
them, and under their care it had risen higher and higher. It had to.
Otherwise, Azusa's grandparents were threatening to spoil her!
They couldn't have that happen.

Things were quiet in the Cat Cafe.
That was mostly because Mousse was distracted with a blow-up,
inflatable Shampoo doll. Cologne every once in a while pulled a cord on
its back, causing it to say "Aiyah! So happy!"
Sooner or later he'd figure it out. But, since he'd always been
mistaking light posts for his beloved *anyway,* this was considered
amply sufficient to take the boy out of the girl's purple hair for a
time while she went about catching her husband.
Considering how blind he was (in more than one sense of that word)
he was liable to stay distracted until he tried something kinky -
neither Amazon had felt right about letting him think he was doing THAT
with Shampoo.
So that was when the doll was rigged to explode. Napalm was one of
the wonders of ancient, Chinese Amazon secrets, after all.

Following the news spot (and having copied down the time and place
of the future challenge - with adjustments to their training schedules
already planned), they'd seen a short five-second alert that panty
thieves were on the loose in Nerima again (along with a phone number to
call with any information) and headed back downstairs.
"Honestly, I never cared much for Soun's old master." Big
understatement. Kimiko could feel when the old pervert was within a
block of her and actively sought him out, a horde of angry women at her
back every chance she got. Stupid little troll, she'd get him for
peeping on her in the shower!
They came down to see a groggy Nabiki being helped to her feet by
Dr. Tofu. The girl was quickly rallying, trying to defend her
recently-shattered version of reality.
"Look, there's No Way I'm going to believe any of this about daddy
until someone here shows me some proof." Nabiki insisted, firmly
buttressed behind crossed arms.
Dr. Tofu, who had returned (having forgotten his car keys, Darth
Vader armor doesn't come with many pockets), adjusted his glasses while
he looked at her. "Okay, Beakie," he noted use of that nickname made
her wince. "What color is my hair?"
"Brown." She answered, and lifted an eyebrow as if to say 'so
what?'
"What color is Soun's hair?" He continued, unperturbed.
"Black."
Dr. Tofu Shiratori's eyes twinkled at her. "And your mother's hair
is...?"
"Brown." Nabiki was getting a tad upset about this.
Ono leaned forward, gazing with serious humor into her eyes. "Do
you need simple genetics explained to you? Black hair is a *dominant*
characteristic. That means that three out of four children ought to
have it if one parent does." He laughed and smiled at her. "So what
color is your hair?"
"Brown." Nabiki was now feeling some unease over this.
"And Kasumi's?"
"Brown. But Akane's is black! That's not too far off the
statistical average!" She was almost desperately shouting. A cloud
passed over the adult faces, but she tried hard not to notice that.
Tofu opened the door to his indoor office. "C'mon, I've got all
your records in here. Let me show you a little something about blood
types. We can redo the tests together if you think I might've gotten it
wrong."
Kimiko nodded cheerfully. "And I've got all the legal information
once you're done with that."
Kasumi headed to the kitchen. "I'll help prepare supper!"
Her youngest sister bounced along, skating swiftly in behind her.
"Little Azusa will help, too!"

Completely unaware of the frame-up by the local chief immigrations
inspector and all the files & evidence he'd altered to throw the Tendo
clan into doubt forever, fabricating the story of their new, checkered
and sordid, past in order to get revenge on Nabiki for the hurt she had
done his daughter; the real shame of the clan, Akane, appeared on the
streets of Nerima wearing only a ragged hospital gown, bandages, and a
broken half a pair of police handcuffs, an IV tube still sticking out
of her arm. Those PERVERTS at the hospital were going to... down there!
There was NO WAY they were putting tubes and... then... that other
stuff, to her!
A few bandages and it ought to be fine.
Sighing, she headed off for home, trudging miserably through the
gathering gloom of evening. It was all Ranma's fault. With that thought
to guide her, she found her path home using the red glow of her rage to
light the way.

The peace of the Kuno compound was broken by a suddenly appearing
ninja.
"Mistress Kodachi, I have the report that you asked I prepare!"
"Ah, Sasuke."Kodachi looked up from her watering. "Very well, the
high points only, please. I have not much yet to do before I must visit
next weeks opponents this evening. To show them proper respect for St.
Hebereke's team. OHOHOHOHO!!!"
Sasuke cowered, fumbling with the papers in his hands, all
carefully written to avoid evoking her anger. So much for that. "Well,
mistress Kodachi, it appears that the noble lord Ranma is bound to this
Nabiki's clan in ways that may prove unbreakable."
"WHAT!!?" An angry-faced Kuno demanded, gymnastics and plants
forgotten.

Nodoka swished as she walked along the road, feeling happy and
sated, and at peace with her life.
Well, all except for one, little thing.
There was a secret that gnawed at her from time to time, a
sacrifice made to ensure her present and continued happiness. It was
something done long ago, but what it boiled down to was...
She missed her firstborn.
In spite of all the joy she now had, she knew there was a price
being paid for it, and wished to make amends to the son she had lost
ten years ago, whose hardships made her own life so joyful.
It all began with a secret.
Not a very well kept secret, but a secret all the same.
Genma was NOT Ranma's father - the same kind of circumstance
leading to Soun's inability to father children also effectively gelded
his training partner Genma (whose only apparent appetite was for food).
Nodoka had found herself forced to make 'arrangements'. The
necessity of doing so gave her 1) the real cause for getting Genma out
of her hair so many years as she'd gotten uncomfortable explaining to
the idiot her odd weight gain and loss cycles, and 2) the reason for
sending them off with the instruction to return with a 'manly' son, so
that jerk didn't repeat on her child the idiot mistakes that had made a
eunuch out of *him!*
She was always planning to introduce her firstborn to all of his
brothers and sisters when the time was right, and of course that
required he come *home* first, which was most of the reason she kept
the old, Saotome place.
The Saotome house was virtually empty virtually all the time
because, really, she didn't live there. She preferred to stay and live
in the mansion with her lover and the majority of her children, and
she'd love to take Ranma there the first moment when she could arrange
to be sure the news wouldn't immediately go to Genma's ears.
She's on good terms with the man's wife and *excellent* friends
with the legitimate heir of her 'helper' family, who viewed her as a
second mother and taken much of her beliefs to heart. Which was why
Ranma's real family name, once he got accepted (and Nodoka had no doubt
of that), was Sanzennin.
She was sure he would get along with his half-brother from the
start. They were so alike! Both powerful martial artists, good with the
ladies, and of course extremely handsome too. She could hardly wait to
introduce Ranma to Mikado!
Genma was convenient for a name under which Nodoka could bear
children without the nose wrinkling that often accompanies mistresses,
even accomplished, long-term ones. The relationship between her and the
family was so high they even adopted most of her children - all but
Ranma, to date.
Perhaps she ought to ask Kimiko how she could fake her son's death
so she could take him away to be raised among the rest of his siblings?
All the rest of her own plus the four half-brothers and sisters he had
of his real father's wife?
Hiccuping her way out of those thoughts, Nodoka put a hand to her
belly, feeling the strange yet wonderful sensations within, and
immediately diverted her course to the nearest drug store.
Another one? So soon? She had to get a pregnancy test to find out.
Good gracious that man was virile!!

Meanwhile, not far away.

"Damn you, Ranma!!" Ryoga appeared, wearing a flea collar and using
one hand (the one he wasn't presently making a fist with) to scratch
uncontrollably.
Ranma stared at his foe, puzzled. "Okay, so what's with the matter
this time?"
"Because of you, I've seen Hell!!" The Lost Boy charged, swinging
his fist until it met the brick wall just as Ranma'd jumped over it.
There came a definite *Crack!* But looking at the wall it seemed
unaltered. Ryoga, however, let off a definite whimper as he dropped the
pose and held his hand, screaming, as he danced around in place.
There came a second *CRACK!!* But this time it was Shampoo clocking
the Lost Boy with a bonbori over the head, driving him out cold to the
ground. She looked at him, frowning, for two heartbeats before whipping
out a body massage oil and soon Ryoga's clothes were flying as she
stripped him, lathered him up with the ointment, then tossed him back
into the pile of his clothes with total disinterest.
"Ranma!" She glomped him. "Happy to see Shampoo, yes?"
"Er, yah. So what'd you do to pig-boy, there?" Ranma pointed.
The Chinese Amazon looked on her beloved with loving eyes. "Is
ancient Chinese secret. That why Great Grandmother no scared let
outsider learn amazon technique. Lotion technique can make body forget:
loosens muscles, softens bones and make skin not so so tough. Next time
he use Breaking Point he lose finger. Only he no use. Memory go bye
bye."
The cuddly Amazon smoothed her curves into her beloved, leaning her
head on him to say quietly. "He no ally to tribe. No useful for make
husband need help of wife or Great Grandmother anymore. So he no get to
keep technique."
Ranma went stiff and aborted the kiss Shampoo was trying to reach,
holding her away while he asked a question. "Uh, do ya mean that I...
that chestnut thing..."
Suddenly his arms were full of smooth and warm girl-flesh. he
dropped her in surprise and she used that opportunity to go back to
cuddling contact, reaching again for that kiss. "Husband no have to
worry. Husband have full rights so long as have Amazon wife."
"Oh..." he said, about the time his voice got cut off by a
passionate smooch.

Kasumi worried in the kitchen.
She'd learned from Nabiki (who thought *she* was the brains of the
family - what a laugh!), that Akane planned to re-win her engagement to
Ranma by awakening his memory of her by being cute and using his
emotions.
It was a plan that might work, but there was one crucial thing
wrong with it. Akane had to be intelligent and nice, unlike her actual
delusional, jumping to the worst (and furthest from the truth)
conclusions, bitchy, psychopathic-dyke self. Akane was a touch below
psychotic in her self-absorbtion. She could literally think of nothing
but herself and her self-gratification.
Which, admittedly, made her a mess as a potential wife, for
anybody.
Already, Kasumi had thought of this far in advance of either of her
siblings. Akane had been so cruel to Ranma while they were engaged that
she didn't think he *had* any emotions in him for the girl. When they
fought, which was often, he kept his feelings out of it, dodging only
as was needed, never losing his temper.
If he HAD lost control, then Akane would have been hospitalized. If
she survived it.
Ranma was among the best of his generation. Akane was a lackluster
hobbyist who had never yet won a fight unassisted (fighting perverts
who could never bring themselves to hurt her counted as them assisting
her) and was willing to give the whole thing up, laxing her skills down
to nothing, because Ranma had protected her so well that she didn't
think she needed them(1).
For no other reason that made them a bad match.
Giving up your only claim to a decent skill (and not a very good
claim at that) just because someone else made it seem unnecessary was
proof positive in Kasumi's mind that Ranma was a bad match for Akane. A
true spouse should encourage you to greater and greater heights,
wanting to make the best out of your talents, not give you an excuse to
drop the only one you had.
But Ranma hadn't made her do it. Akane made that choice out of
sheer laziness. If Akane was willing to use his skill as an excuse to
drop hers, then she needed someone who would not give her that excuse
to hide behind. She needed someone who knew no martial arts at all, if
hiding behind another was a course of action she was willing to take.
No, Ranma felt nothing, certainly not respect, for the girl that
way.
And as for being cute, she did that so rarely, and always punished
him the moment he displayed any respect or consideration for her, that
Kasumi had doubts about that as well. Their fathers may have plunged
the two together, so they could not help but feel the closeness of
association with each other, but the instant he started to even
acknowledge that feelings existed she'd pound him for it.
You don't need to do that often to kill a small, growing thing.
If any feelings *had* arisen, then both of them would have been
married at once, so they actually fought hard NOT to feel that way for
each other. Which meant, now that Akane's future hopes depended on
those feelings... there may not BE anything there to revive.
Ranma insulted her by reflex because that was how he was trained.
He might even possibly be trying to goad her to doing her best. That's
almost certainly what Genma did to the boy. How was he to know how to
do any better?
Akane lost her temper in those fights. But Ranma didn't.
Any soft and tender feelings he felt Akane punished whenever he
raised. Any other emotion was kept in check by Ranma very nobly
refusing to hate her. There was nothing good and nothing bad he felt
between them, only perhaps a bit of inertia because of their enforced
closeness and being of an age where those feelings came naturally and
with quite some force.
But Ranma had an outlet for those feelings now that wasn't crushing
the life out of them the moment they showed any signs of existing. A
bond had already formed between him and those other girls and it was
already many levels stronger than her sister's bond to Ranma had ever
been.
Kasumi glanced at her sister Azusa. It was time other arrangements
be made.

*****
(1) Here I reference the canon OAV "Akane And Her Sisters" where it is
stated, in so many words, that Akane had given up on martial arts
(except jogging to keep her figure), because having Ranma around to
protect her made her not feel the need to practice anymore.

And, sooooo many times the same tired story directions are used. Well,
I simply don't like them. Let's blow some cliches out of the water!
Nodoka sitting lonely at home? Not hardly. Not in this fic. Anything
Nabiki does she can get away with? WRONG!! Akane cannot be touched by
misfortune? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Nothing good can happen to Ranma and his enemies all prosper at his
expense while the other fiancees and background characters can only
suffer? Somehow... I don't think that's what's going to happen in this
fic. Do you?