A/N: Okay this chapter is a bit longer. Again I just kept going on and on and on. Kind of like the Energizer Bunny : )
B.P.O.V
I knew that waking up peacefully wasn't going to be a ritual and the next morning showed me that all too well. Alice and I both had art history at ten in the morning and she had set her alarm for eight thirty to get ready. I groaned when she shook me awake. I would have to do this every Monday. When I was up and functioning well enough, we both headed to the bathroom in our flip flops to have a shower. Alice got back to the room before me because I had to shave my legs and when I got back she had an abundance of outfits lying across my bed. Thankfully all of the outfits consisted of jeans and sweaters. It must have been cold outside. I grabbed the outfit closest to me which consisted of my cute yellow sweater, a blue tank top to go underneath, and a pair of black jeans. I decided that wearing the same shoes I wore yesterday would do perfectly. I grabbed the outfit off the bed and grabbed clean, matching underwear and bra from my dresser and went to my closet to change. The door opened wide enough so I could hide behind it and change with a great amount of space. I emerged from behind the closet door and Alice smiled at me from her desk chair.
"Perfect," she said as she styled her short hair with her straightener. I was surprisingly comfortable in this outfit which was a change from some of the outfits she made me wear. My hair was still wet and I didn't have any make-up on, but I was dressed.
"Hair?" I asked her, pulling at a strand of my wet, knotted hair. She looked at me through her mirror to examine me.
"Curly," she replied, nodding her head. I went over to my cabinet and grabbed my blow dryer out of it. While Alice was doing her own hair I could at least try to get started on my own. I brushed all the knots out and sectioned it off again, and blow dried it straight. After I was done drying it, Alice had finished with her hair and make-up. She plugged the curling iron into the outlet and skipped off to her closet to get dressed. She returned a few minutes later when the curling iron was hot and was wearing faded blue jeans, a black sweater, and a white tank top underneath. To top it off she was wearing a pair of heels. I was her best friend; her second best friend was her high heels. She picked up the curling iron after she had sectioned off my hair and began going to work on it. It only took her a total of fifteen minutes to curl the parts of my hair that she wanted. When she was done she brushed my hair with a tail comb, to give the curls some volume, and put hairspray in it. I went over to her mirror and looked at my hair. It looked good. It looked so natural and bouncy, and the curls were big and loose. I liked it. I was done getting ready and Alice looked like she was too.
"Breakfast quick?" I turned around and asked her. She nodded but didn't move from her spot in the middle of the room. "What's wrong?" I asked her as she crossed her arms at me.
"You forgot something," Alice said, blinking her eyes rapidly. I rolled my eyes at her. Make-up...I had forgotten to put on make-up. Since her make-up kit was still out I turned back around and put on a little bit of mascara, and a little bit of blush. That was all I was doing; she would have to live with it. "Better," she told me with uncrossed arms when I stood up and turned around to face her.
"You sure?" I asked, blinking my eyes rapidly like she had done. She laughed at me and grabbed her book bag and key off her bed.
"It'll have to do," she said, waiting by the door. I collected my book bag and key from the floor and went to Alice who now had the door opened. We left the room at about 9:30 and went to Commons to get breakfast before we started our first official day of college.
---
Art history had been more than uneventful. Despite the 'I want to harm myself' effect the first class had on me, the concept of the class seemed intriguing. Right after art history I had to literally run to my next class because it was in a different building on the other side of campus. I got there with three minutes to spare and I was lucky. I could have easily gotten lost. Thankfully people were still filing into the lecture hall, and I came to a stop at the edge of the mass of people. This was longer genres; my class with Edward. I stood on my tip toes and scanned the crowd for the recognizable mop of gorgeous bronze hair, but my eyes came up empty. I returned myself to normal height and kept scanning the room for him. In my search I saw a familiar face, but not remotely close to the one I wanted to see. It was Jessica. Awesome, I sarcastically said to myself. She was waiting in the horde of people scrunched up next to a locker; looking pissed off. I quickly averted my eyes and pretended like she wasn't there. Still unable to find Edward, I stood in the mass of people with my book bag slung over my shoulder and my arms crossed.
I shuffled ahead along with the line and when my legs moved my phone jabbed into my thigh; like a sign. I could text him...I was so fucking stupid. I quickly pulled it out and flipped it open. I typed: where are you? Into the phone and sent it to 'Edward Cell'.
I got one back thirty seconds later that said: behind you.I slowly turned to see a grinning Edward standing behind me.
"I've been here the whole time," he said to me, laughing. Obviously I couldn't help but blush at him. He had been watching me look for him; horribly embarrassing.
"Oh," I said in response, biting my lip. "Thanks for telling me," I then said, playfully hitting his arm. He shrugged.
"I thought it was funnier this way," he then told me. That smile that I loved was coming onto his face. I smiled back, trying to think straight, and turned around to go into the lecture hall. I walked in and picked a random spot in the middle of the hall and Edward followed me. I quickly scanned the room for Jessica when we were sitting down to see how close she was to us, but I couldn't find her. Turning to Edward, I remembered that I needed to ask him something.
"So, about that date you asked me out on yesterday," I began, staring into his shining emeralds. I cleared my throat to form the next part of my sentence. "You never told me when that would be."
"Sorry," he started in a soft voice that was as soothing as a lullaby. "I got distracted," he continued, brushing my hair away from my neck and behind my shoulders. His fingers lightly grazed my neck. I tried to concentrate, but when he did and said things like that to me it drove me mad...but in a really good way. I tried to focus on taking each breath in through my nose and out through my mouth to ensure that I was breathing at all. If I wasn't careful, Edward Cullen would soon be my cause of death.
'Dartmouth student Bella Swan died this morning of asphyxia due to lack of oxygen. Her boyfriend, Edward Cullen, reportedly caused her death by staring intensely at her'.
Wouldn't that be the way to go...at least I'd die happy. And had I really just called Edward my boyfriend? "When did you want to go?" He then asked me. I shook my head to answer Edward's question.
"Um...I, I...it doesn't matter to me," I managed to sputter.
"How about Friday night?" He suggested. I smiled.
"Sounds perfect," I told him. We continued to talk for a few minutes after that but the prof soon started the lecture. It too was 'slit my wrists' boring, but I had Edward there to steal glances at. It also seemed like it was going to be an interesting class. The course consisted of reading seven novels of which I had already read three. And I loved to read, so it was going to be a piece of cake for me. When the class had finally come to an end it was just after twelve; and I didn't have another class again until seven.
"So...what are you up to now?" I casually asked as we were leaving the lecture hall.
"I've got history now," he replied in a bored tone.
"That sucks," I replied. "What building?"
"JNH...it's not far," he said, stopping when we had exited the classroom.
"Okay, well will I see you later?" I asked hopefully.
"You're not going to walk me to class?" He asked me in a tone of mock sadness. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.
"I guess I could," I said to him with a smile. Edward, to my surprise, grabbed my hand and gently laced his fingers with mine. I blushed...like always and he began towing me in the direction of JNH. When we got there we walked up a flight of stairs and stopped in front of the doors to the lecture hall.
"Have fun," I told him sarcastically. Still holding my hand he just stood there glaring at me.
"Gee thanks," he began. But he stopped and tensed at the sound coming from over my shoulder. I saw light brown hair out of the corner of my eye; it was of course Jessica. Why wouldn't she have two classes with Edward? She stalked past us without a sound and disappeared into the room.
"And have fun with the skank," I added, annoyed.
"Knock it off Bella," Edward told me in a stern voice. And I shut up. I was still jealous because Jessica had been alone with Edward last night. Even though I know he ditched her and all that I couldn't help it. I was being extremely selfish. I didn't want any other girl to look at Edward...which was very possessive of me for only knowing him for a grand total of about twenty-four hours. I shrugged off my jealous feelings and looked at Edward who was staring at my stubborn silence.
"Fine," I told him through gritted teeth.
"Good," he replied. "I have to go. I'm late now." Great. Now I felt bad.
"I'm sorry," I told him, frowning.
"Don't apologize. Just don't be like that," he told me. I nodded at him because I knew that I was being stubborn and childish. When he saw that I agreed to 'knock it off' he let go of my hand. "I'll come see you after," he said, smiling.
"Call me when you're done," I said in a more upbeat voice. He nodded back and smiled at me, taking my breath away. Before he turned to leave he bent his head down to mine and kissed me softly on the lips. I watched him soundlessly slip into the room as the butterflies fluttered furiously around my stomach.
---
Edward called me an hour later and told me that he was on his way. A jolt of panic shot through my body. Alice wasn't home. I called her cell phone, anxious as all hell; she didn't answer. Fuck! I knew that if Edward showed up here and I was alone...that just wouldn't be very good at all. I couldn't control myself when I was alone with him. I dialled Alice's cell again and no answer; I got her voicemail instead.
"Hey it's Alice! Leave a message," her perky voice told me from the phone. I scowled. Beep.
"If you don't get your petit, peppy, pixie-ass back here right now Mary Alice Brandon, I will make you wish you had never met me!" Click. I threw my phone on my bed and began pacing my room and picking at my nails nervously. I knew that Edward would be here any minute and Alice had promised me that she would be here. Her class was done now. Where the fuck was she? My panic was interrupted by a faint noise on the other side of the door. I stopped my pacing and stood in the middle of the room waiting for either a knock or a key. Please be a key, please be a key. I released the breath I had been holding in a sigh of relief when I heard Alice's key turn in the lock.
"Alice!" I yelled at her when she came into view. "What the fu –" I stopped when I saw Edward follow her into the room. "Oh hey Edward," I said blushing a little.
"Hey..." he greeted back, confused.
"Alice where's your phone?" I asked her.
"My bag...why?" She asked, also confused.
"I just tried to call you, but never mind," I told her, darting my eyes from her to Edward.
"Okay," Alice said, furrowing her little eyebrows. She dropped her bag next to her bed. "I'll be right back," she then said turning to leave.
"What?" I asked her, stepping forward, my face paling. She turned to look at me and I widened my eyes at her, telling her that she couldn't leave.
"I'll be two minutes Bella," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to get Jasper." My tension relaxed a little, but not enough. She took off out of the room and I just stood in the same spot, my eyes shifting to Edward. He was wearing a dark grey sweater and a red shirt underneath. And fuck me, did he look sexy in red. Stop it Bella, I told myself. Edward dropped his bag on the floor and came to stand in front of me.
"What's up?" He asked, furrowing his brow. This caused a little crease to form in the middle of his otherwise perfect forehead.
"Not much...you?" I replied, staring into his mesmerizing eyes.
"No," he said, shaking his head. His bronze hair wiggled lightly. "I mean what is up? As in, why are you being so...sketchy?"
"What?" I began, shaking my head like a moron. "I'm not – I'm not being sketchy," I told him, gesturing with my hands. This was a complete lie of course. An amused look came across Edward's face.
"Bella," he said, laughing. "You're being so sketchy."
"Fine," I admitted, dropping my arms lifelessly to my side. Edward took my wrist in his hand and lifted it from my hip. I just looked at him. I was barely able to form a thought. I stared at his eyes, then his lips, his jaw, his neck, his chest...and then I travelled down his chest to his belt. I shook my head fiercely and focussed my eyes on our hands. Alice was taking longer than two fucking minutes. I would hurt that pixie...pluck her fucking wings off.
"Are you okay?" He asked me, stepping closer. I could now smell him which was fucking great. Like that would help me at all.
"Yeah – I'm good," I told him, my voice cracking on the last word.
"You don't look like you're okay. It looks like someone planted a bomb and you're ready for it to explode," he said this while cupping my cheek with his hand. His electricity was now coursing through my wrist and my cheek. I nuzzled my face into his hand, itching to be closer to him.
"This is my problem," I said to him, grabbing his waist and looking around the room.
"Me being in your room?" He asked me, puzzled.
"No...you and me – being in my room – alone," I told him. He rubbed his thumb along my dark pink cheek.
"Why is it such a problem?" He asked me, leaning down to kiss the side of my neck. This is why it's such a problem. Horny Edward and Horny Bella. I gripped his side tighter, losing my coherent train of thought. I moved my hands slowly up his side, to his chest, up his neck and tangled my fist into his hair. So much for Alice's plan. I was getting more turned on the more he continued to kiss me, and so was he. He had let go of my wrist and started fervently running his beautiful hand along my hip. I felt him kiss all along my neck and he did the one thing that made that fucking moan spill from my stupid mouth; he licked my neck. His soft tongue running along my neck caused a loud moan to erupt from within me. I cursed myself internally for being such a moron. But it ultimately aroused him even more which caused him to lift me by the waist and toss me onto the bed. When we were apart I was able to form a sentence.
"Edward, this is why it's a problem," I said, trying to catch my breath. He bounded onto the bed, but just sat there. He traced his finger along my forearm, making it tingle.
"I can't help it Bella," he said. I sat up and scooted next to him. "Do you have any idea what you look like?" He asked.
"I do dress myself...on occasion," I said, smiling.
"Well someone should fucking arrest you for looking so utterly indecent. Nobody should look so tempting," he replied, his emeralds piercing my heart. I melted. Ugh, what was he doing to me? I made a tiny little whimpering noise next to him and blushed like mad. "And when you do that," he continued, whining. Oh his whining. It was erotic. He brought his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb along it. I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to steady my breathing. "I don't know how you keep guys away in all honesty," he told me, forcing my eyes to open.
"Heh," I said, shifting semi-uncomfortably. He looked at me confused.
"What?"
"Well I don't so much keep them away as fight them off...literally," I told him, looking away. He removed his hand from my face.
"What?" He asked again, shocked. "Seriously?"
"Uh yeah..." I told him, recalling my only two former boyfriends. Who both turned out to be assholes. "Remember when I said that high school guys were manipulative assholes...well I found that out the hard way."
"Oh..." he said. "Oh!" He then said, looking up at me, concerned. "That's why before..." he continued, trailing off. Now he really understood why I was hesitant before. "I mean...what happened? If you don't mind me asking?" Before I could answer Alice bounced into the room with Jasper behind her. Stupid pixie took ten god damn minutes. But all was well in Bella-land.
"Hey Jasper," I greeted him. Today he was wearing a simple outfit; jeans and a blue buttoned shirt.
"Hey there Bella," he replied, smiling. They both went and sat on Alice's bed, and began chatting to each other.
"Sorry," I said, turning to Edward who was still waiting for a reply. "Anyways...I've really only had two boyfriends before," I started, settling myself against the wall. "The first one was Tyler Crowley." I pointed to the picture of him and me at Junior Prom.
"Oh," Edward said in response.
"We dated in grade eleven for a couple months and he was always really nice, but sort of aggressive." I hugged my sides just thinking about it. "He was always suggestive and made innuendos, but I just shrugged it off and hoped he would change. I told him that I wasn't ready for a physical relationship and he had settled for that because he said I was the 'hottest junior'," I said this in air quotes because I didn't think he had been accurate. Edward slapped my hands away when I did that.
"It was probably true," he said to me, keeping his hand on mine. I smiled at him, and continued.
"Anyways that all changed when we went to the Prom together. By this time we had been dating for about two months and he had finally started calming himself down from trying to...you know..." I said suggestively. "But, uh, when we went drinking at Alice's that night I got pretty drunk. And so did Tyler. By the end of the night Tyler had sobered up almost completely, while I still had a mild buzz, because I'm smaller. And he convinced me very easily to let him drive me home, which proved to be a horrible idea."
"I should have punched him too," Alice mused. I looked over to her and she and Jasper were looking over to me and Edward. I smiled at her.
"Too? You punched another guy?" Edward looked at Alice, astounded.
"Don't worry, Bella will get to it," Alice chuckled. And I continued with my story as I relayed it to all three of them now; although Alice already knew these stories.
"Anyways, Tyler thought he would try to take advantage of me..." I said in a quieter voice. "And he sort of groped me...in the back seat of his van. He ripped my prom dress and caused severe trauma. I had to force him off of me before he violated me. When I finally got out of the van I puked in the parking lot," I looked over to Alice and smiled at her. She loved that I had done that, she thought it was hilarious. "After that he didn't want anything to do with me. So he took me home, and the next day we broke up."
"Did he hurt you?" Edward asked me in a concerned voice; that crease coming back to his forehead.
"No," I said, shaking my head. He hadn't physically hurt me in any way. Just ripped my dress to make it strapless and forced himself on me so much I threw up...but hey, that's what Junior Prom's for. "He didn't. Not physically at least. But I couldn't trust him not to try it again and I was hurt at the fact that he had done that after I told him not to." Edward muttered something I couldn't hear under his breath. "And after that my friend Mike Newton was right by my side consoling me after what happened with Tyler. I was really upset about it because I liked him and I thought that he would have respected me – I was wrong. After about seven months or so of Mike being a good friend and gaining my trust I started to have stronger feelings for him and we decided to go out. He always had a crush on me and he was a really sweet guy."
"Pfft," I heard Alice say. I rolled my eyes and giggled.
"Anyways, Mike and I were dating for about a month and hadn't really been on a real date yet. So on Valentine's Day we went out on our first official date to Port Angeles. Everything was good and fine at dinner and then afterwards he wanted to go somewhere and talk. Next thing I know Mike is shoving me into the back of his Suburban groping – at my chest – and my legs..." I trailed off. I shuddered. Edward gripped my hand tighter in anticipation. "I punched him in the shoulder to get him off of me and it thankfully worked. In my haste to get out of the truck though I fell onto the pavement and scratched my hands and my knee and there was blood. Alice then picked me up and threatened to break Mike's fingers if he ever touched me again," I said the last part laughing. Edward wasn't amused though. "And after a month of apologizing," I continued more seriously, "I decided to change my phone number. He came up to me in the hall that day and tried to apologize again and even proposed getting back together...which was ridiculous. Then Alice's fist comes out of nowhere and punches Mike right in the face. She broke his nose," I said this laughing. I couldn't help it. Edward smiled.
"Moron deserved it," Alice said decidedly. Jasper snorted beside her.
"I bet he did," Edward said, still squeezing my hand with a bitter look on his face. "Can we talk alone for a minute?" He then whispered in my ear. He looked serious and I nodded. He slid off the bed and towed me out of the room. Alice didn't say anything, which surprised me. When we were alone, in silence, he let go of my hand and rested his forehead against the wall, with his back to me.
"Edward?" I said, concerned at his odd behaviour.
"I'm sorry," he said, still leaning against the wall.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him while I stared at the back of his head.
"I'm such a fucking asshole," he muttered, slamming his fist against the wall. I jumped back when he did that. He was a little frightening.
"Care to explain?"
"I just...I can't believe that I – I was acting like those guys that you hate," he started, smacking his head against the wall pretty hard.
"Edward!" I yelled at him. "Don't fucking do that." How on earth could he be compared to Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley? There was no way he could be.
"Prick, asshole, fucking jerk..." I heard him listing off several names for himself which was making me angry. He hadn't been like them at all. I shoved myself against his arm and he reluctantly turned and put his back to the wall. I stood up on my tip toes and grabbed his face in between my hands. His eyes opened and he stared into my eyes.
"Knock. It. Off. Edward," I told him the same thing he had told me. "You are nothing like them," I assured him. How could he even think something so utterly ridiculous?
"But I am Bella," he protested. Looking away from me. "I did just exactly what you told me your horny fucker ex-boyfriends did to you. I feel fucking shitty," he then said, still not looking directly at me.
"Do you want me to tell you why you aren't like them?" He shrugged. "One," I started. "This is embarrassing but when I saw you at the floor meeting I just wanted to kiss you right then and there." I started to blush, but I continued. "Two. I actually removed clothing from you, didn't I? And I also let you remove mine...does that sound like something I did before? And three, I didn't try to resist or push you away before...because I wanted you so bad." At this point my face was on fire. I just told him everything that I had felt for him in the past two days and it was embarrassing as hell. "Nobody should look so tempting," I repeated his words, tracing my finger along his bottom lip. His eyes were glued to mine and he was speechless. As the words lingered for a minute, he brought a hand up from his side and caressed the back of my head. I slid my hands from the side of his face and snaked them around the back of his neck. He pressed his lips to mine and crushed me into a hug.
"I'm sorry," he whispered when he pulled his lips away from mine.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," I told him, keeping his face close. When he breathed out his warm breath would smother my face and make me woozy. We stood there just enjoying each other's presence for a few minutes. I was still on my tip toes with my arms around his neck, and he was leaning up against the wall with his arms tightly around my waist.
"Oh," I started, after several minutes of silence. "Along with my argument. There's the fact that I'm petrified to be alone in a room with you because of what I might do," I told him, smiling. He smiled back.
"I can't help myself either," he told me. I was slowly melting. Hearing that he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him was making me hot. There was so much sexual tension between us that you could cut it with a knife. And it was slowly driving me insane. I had to wait for our date though...no matter what. Lest I be labelled 'Bella Swan: Campus Slut'. But if Edward and I started dating then there would be no problem. I didn't want to risk that it wouldn't work out and told myself to back down. I kissed him on the lips one last time and returned to normal height, taking my hands with me.
---
We had spent the next four hours talking and watching a movie with Alice and Jasper. Spending time with Edward was almost like a surreal fantasy. I couldn't believe how great he was and it made my heart ache. He always held my hand or put his arm around my shoulder and it always gave me butterflies. But I still didn't understand the electricity. It was amazing but at the same time it was the weirdest thing. It was like we were attracted scientifically to each other...like we were biologically meant for each other. I was a goofy shaped puzzle piece and he was my perfect counterpart. I thought that he must have felt somewhat the same way about me because he never took his hands off of me; not that I wanted him to anyways.
After we had all gotten dinner, and I had received a numerous amount of glares from an angry Jessica sitting a table away, Edward kindly offered to walk me to my night class. The butterflies were fluttering at full speed. The building that I had my shorter genres class in was in a weird spot on campus. It was near the student center but was oddly not really near any other building. He walked me to the back of the building because that was the side that faced the student center. It wasn't as well lit and there weren't many people around. We had to cross an entire field to get there, and there weren't even any lights to show the way. I was surprised that I hadn't tripped walking across the dark grass. Either way Edward would have caught me. We stood in the dim light of the entrance to the building and I gave him a hug.
"Have fun," he told me. I groaned. This class was two hours long and it was the first one. It would be even more boring than the other two classes I had.
"I won't count on it," I replied, pulling away. It was five to seven. "I have to go." I frowned at this. We were having such a good day.
"Want me to come get you after?" He asked me. I smiled at him; it was the sweetest thing ever. But I shook my head. He didn't have to do that.
"It's okay, just go home and relax. I'll text you later when I'm back," I told him, grabbing his hand.
"If you want me to just let me know." He bent his head down to mine and kissed me. My heart pounded in my chest. And I nodded when he removed his beautiful lips from mine.
"Bye," I whispered, pulling away. Every time I left him I wanted to scream.
"Bye," he whispered back, smiling my favourite god damn smile. My heart was thumping madly in my chest. I turned away from him and walked into the building. My breathing was returning to normal and my heart was beginning to pump slower. I was calming down. I trudged down the stairs to the basement which is where my lecture hall was; expecting the worst.
When the lecture was over I was the first one to leave the room. It had been much worse than I expected. It was so boring that I kept nodding off while the prof was talking. She had been rambling on about poetry or short stories...or something, maybe both? I wasn't too sure. I bolted up the stairs and escaped out to the dark, cold night. It wasn't too cold, but it made me zip my sweater up closer to my neck. I hastily made my way across the dark grass and into the warm student center. I walked through it and again went outside to make my way to Berry. The walk in total only took me about ten minutes which was pretty good. I was back in my room by quarter after nine and Alice was alone, reading her Cosmo.
"Hey," I greeted her when I walked in the door.
"Hey!" She excitedly greeted me back. My eyes widened at her and I laughed. She was jumping off the bed and dancing around. She could have played Tinkerbelle in fucking Peter Pan. Give her a little green outfit, dye her hair blond, and give her some wings...voila. "Oh my god Bella you were right!" She then yelled at me and continued her swirly dancing. I followed her around for a minute until she made me dizzy. I shook my head.
"What?" I asked her, really confused.
"About Jasper!" She told me, stopping her dancing and slumping onto her bed. "He's never had a real girlfriend before," Alice breathed out, staring at the ceiling.
"Oh!" I replied to her, covering my mouth. I wasn't the one who liked Jasper but he was something to look at alright. I didn't think that what I had said was true...I thought he could have been a virgin but I thought he must have had a girlfriend before. It seemed really unlikely that he went through life looking like that and could never have possibly had a girlfriend. "Really?" I asked her, sitting next to her on her bed. She nodded her head.
"I asked him before what was up with him not wanting to kiss me. You know how I am," she told me, smiling. "I force things out of people." That she did alright. I shook my head and laughed. Poor Jasper. "Anyways he said he was sorry for the way he acted and he said that he was nervous because he had never really kissed a girl before. Well he had, but not for very long." Alice closed her eyes and a big smile came onto her face. I'm sure she had changed Jasper's kissing experience greatly.
"So I take it you changed that then eh?" I asked her, laughing. She sat up and nodded her little head fervently. "Mary Alice Brandon..." I started, shaking my head.
"About that!" She yelled at me. I looked at her with mock horror.
"What?" I asked her, confused.
"That message you left me," she said staring me down. "What the hell was that about?"
"Well that," I began, "was me yelling at you for not being home and Edward coming over. I thought he'd get here before you and I was flipping out Alice!" I told her, gesturing with my hands. She covered her mouth and tried to stop herself from laughing. "It's not funny, I almost had a heart attack," I told her, lightly slapping her arm.
"I'm sorry," she said, laughing now. "But I did get here before him."
"Luckily."
"Is it really that hard for you to control yourself?" She then asked me and still continued her laughing.
"Alice," I started crossing my arms. "I didn't want you to leave us alone for two minutes...what do you think?" She giggled hysterically and threw herself down on her pillow. "I'm not even joking. When you were gone...for ten minutes by the way...He started kissing my neck and threw me on the bed and we almost started making out."
"Oh, I'm really sorry that my being absent made Edward kiss you on the neck. My bad," she said sarcastically, sitting up. She wasn't laughing anymore. "Bella," she started, now with a serious face. "You are both obviously attracted to each other and it's obviously driving you both nuts. So I think that you should just stop trying to fight it and fuck him already."
"Alice!" I yelled at her. I had gone so high-pitched that it hurt my own ears. Apart from the fact that Alice never swore, she was not helping my 'Wait for the Date' plan. "Alice, what the hell?" I said, horrified. She pursed her lips and tried hard not to laugh.
"Bella I'm just being sensible. I haven't seen you this...what's the word...sexually charged...in your entire life." I blushed furiously. Alice could see how much I wanted Edward; that was fucking embarrassing. I groaned and threw myself onto her pillow.
"Alice..." I started, in a whiny voice. "I want him so bad!" I was still whining. It was honestly killing me that I actually wanted someone this bad.
"Then go get him!" She told me, shoving me off the bed. "Tell Jasper to come here," she told me, winking. I fell onto the ground and looked up to her sitting proudly on the bed. My whole body twitched at the thought of doing what Alice said, but I knew I couldn't. I shook my head.
"Alice I can't," I told her, flinging myself against the ground. I lied there spread out across the floor and stared at the ceiling. "And I thought you were supposed to be helping me restrain myself?" I asked her, propping myself up on my elbows. She just shrugged.
"Well I only said that because I could see that you wanted to wait...but I didn't see before how much you couldn't control yourself. So now I don't see what the point in waiting is. Just do it already." I had never wanted to hit Alice ever. But her words were making me want to slap her. She wasn't helping me at all.
"Alice you are so not helping me! What's the deal?" She folded her hands in her lap and just stared down at them. "Earth to Alice?" I said, staring at her.
"I don't know..." She began. "It's just I guess I'm pushing you because Jasper told me something...about Edward." I froze. What about him? "He said that last night he was on the phone with some girl...but they were arguing." I completely sat up now and listened to Alice's story. "Jasper said that Edward was telling her that he didn't love her anymore and that they were through." Both of these things made me happy. "But Jasper also said that Edward was trying to convince her not to come visit him. He apparently begged her not to come here. I guess it didn't work because Jasper said that Edward almost threw his phone against the wall because he was so angry." My heart almost stopped beating. So Edward's obsessed ex-girlfriend...or girlfriend...was coming to Dartmouth to see him? I couldn't breathe.
"What?" I breathed, tears welling up.
"Bella what I'm saying is you should be with Edward all you can so that his crazy ex can see that he doesn't need her anymore. If he's with you when she comes here than everything will be good," she told me, sliding off the bed. She sat next to me and rubbed my arm soothingly. I calmed my breathing and steadied my heart rate. So it was Edward's ex...Not his girlfriend. Either way...
"Or if I'm with him she'll come and rip my head off," I told her, keeping the tears in my eyes.
"There's always that too." She smiled at me. I half-smiled back. "I figured that Edward wouldn't let that happen though," she continued, brushing my hair out of my face.
"But Alice I just can't do that...I don't want to give myself to him just because his ex-girlfriend is coming to see him," I told her, frowning. I didn't want to lose my virginity for a stupid reason like that. I always wanted to lose it to someone I was in love with...My breathing quickened and my heart pounded. I thought about it; could I be? Now that was ridiculous. I couldn't be. Edward was just really sweet and perfect and amazing and lovely and extremely good-looking. I shook my head.
"Well I just don't want you to get upset when she comes here Bella. I mean if she convinces Edward to get back together with her or something like that. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"I won't," I told her, looking to the ground. "I'm tired though...I think I'm just going to go to bed." I looked to the clock and it was only 9:30. I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep and forget about this conversation.
"Okay," Alice said in a quiet voice. She knew I was upset and that she should leave me alone. "Oh and by the way..." she continued. "You didn't talk about Charlie last night." I looked up to her. I hadn't talked about Charlie? That's weird; I had been doing that every night. "You were talking about Edward." She stood up and left me on the floor. I felt the tear well over my eye and roll down my face. Just a single tear. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut. I got up off the floor and quickly tore my clothes off and got into my pyjamas. I slid into my bed and nestled myself into the comforter; willing this day to end. I forgot that I had told Edward I would text him. I grabbed my phone off my desk and flipped it open. I told him that I was home and I was going to bed because I was tired. I waited for a response. A minute later he responded and it said: Okay, goodnight beautiful : )
I groaned and laid my head back down on the pillow. I turned my body away from Alice and faced the wall. I closed my eyes tight and wished for sleep; but it didn't come. I needed an aide. I grabbed my iPod from the table behind me and put one of the buds in my ear.
"Night Alice," I said gloomily, before I put the other one in.
"Night," she replied, sounding the same.
I put the other ear bud in and turned the iPod on. I needed my comfort music. It would put me to sleep. As I listened to my favourite Iron&Wine song I slowly drifted in and out of consciousness, thinking about Edward. I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep or how many songs I listened to. But it was a restless night. I woke up several times sweating and panting. I knew I had been dreaming about him. When I finally fell asleep for the third time that night I went to sleep with tears streaming down my face and a wet pillow.