"Cock-blocked!" Jamie yelled, launching himself back into the room, interrupting the two again.

Mikan ripped away from Natsume, once again, turning to glare spitefully at Jamie. "Why are you back? And 'cock-blocked'? What did you think we were going to do, have sex in the hospital?"

"Kinky." Natsume and Jamie said in unison, then proceeded to look at each other oddly.

"Uh," Jamie started again. "No, I meant… lip-blocked?"

"Uh-huh. What are you doing here?" she snapped impatiently.

"Your uncle is giving me ten bucks to cock-block you." He said, shrugging. He made his way over to the two, shoved Mikan to the opposite side of the bed and sat between them, grinning. "So… what are you two talking about?" he asked, putting meaningful emphasis on the word 'talking'.

"Screw you."

"You would like to, wouldn't you?"

Mikan smacked her forehead in annoyance.

"You can't deny it. You know you want me." He clicked his tongue and winked at her.

Mikan shoved her face into the hospital pillow, groaning in annoyance.

"Damn, she really wanted to kiss you, huh?"

She sent a well-aimed punch his way, then sat up, watching him grimace in pain. "Why am I in the hospital?" she asked, suddenly remembering where she was.

"Concussion." Jamie replied.

"Okay. Why do I have a concussion?"

"You hit your head." He continued, an annoying smirk on his face.

She turned to Natsume, hoping he would tell her.

"He's right. You hit your head."

"I know that! You need to hit your head to have a concussion! God, you guys are conspiring against me!"

"Kuonji pushed you." Natsume said at last.

"I'm quite aware that Kuonji is the reason I'm here. Why did he put me here?" she snapped, glaring at the ceiling.

Natsume looked at her weirdly. "Has this… happened before?"

"Yes. Multiple times. I should probably stop talking back. It's rather painful."

"He's hit you before?" Natsume demanded, standing up abruptly, eyes blazing with fury.

"You should be glad he hasn't killed me yet." She sighed heavily. "But I really wish he just would…"

Jamie's eyes shifted away from her, and Natsume looked like she had actually punched him in the stomach with that comment.

"You… want to be… dead…?" he forced out, looking sick. "You can't be serious!"

Her face clouded darkly. "Maybe we shouldn't talk to each other, Natsume." Jamie pinched her in attempt to quiet her. "You'll never understand the pain I've lived through." She sunk into the hospital bed. "You'll never look at me the same. I'm not the same." She felt tears force out her eyes and wondered how many time just this week she had cried. "Everything's different."

"Tell me what happened." Natsume pleaded again, and her gaze flicked over to him numbly. "Let me understand. I can handle it!"

Anger rushed through her. "Jamie, leave." She commanded.

He looked at her hesitantly, but left anyway.

Mikan sat up as the door shut, glaring at Natsume. "You can't possibly handle it!" she shrieked, getting awkwardly to her feet. "Not even I can handle it!" She reached forward to shove him, but he caught her hands in his. She tried to wrench her hands free, but he gripped them tighter, his eyes pleading with her.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed at him, trying again to pull away. "I hate being touched!" she pulled back violently, willing his hands to stop touching her, wishing she hadn't sent Jamie away. She crouched to the ground, fighting away her memories.

"Why can't you tell me?" she heard Natsume cry at her.

["Hey, little girl. What's you name?"

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore."

"Well, tell me you name, and then we won't be strangers." He said, starting to grow impatient. "Are you alone?"

Why were his friends advancing on her?

"Why can't you tell me, little girl?"

She backed away.]

A scream erupted from her throat, and Natsume flinched, but didn't let go.

She tried to attack him with her lightning alice, but her alices swirled out of control.

A small flame, sparks, ice, water, the sudden hearing of Natsume's horrified thoughts.

An illusion.

It stuck as her memories washed forward.

[She knew where she was. Why had Kuonji taken her so close to her grandfather's house?

She turned around, making sure Kuonji wasn't anywhere near her, before she took off again.

If she could get far enough away, she could be free.]

Mikan let out a bloodcurdling scream as the illusion played before her and Natsume, and she heard someone running down the hall suddenly, but the footsteps were far away.

["Hey, little girl, are you lost?"

She turned quickly, almost expecting to see Kuonji's thugs.

She felt her shoulders relax as she looked at the stranger, though she knew she shouldn't let her guard down.

"Are you lost?" he repeated, stepping towards her, smiling lightly. She noticed his friends behind him snickering. "Hey, little girl. What's your name?"

She took a small step back away from him. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore." She said firmly, remembering her experience when she was looking for Hotaru and almost got kidnapped.

"Well, tell me your name, and then we won't be strangers." He insisted, stepping closer, impatience lighting up his features. "Are you alone?"

His friends started towards them. Why were they wearing such ugly smiles?

"Why can't you tell me, little girl?" he reached out towards her, and she stepped back again.

"Don't touch me!"

His friends continued to advance, and he scowled down at her, reaching forward and grabbing her arm before she could react. He tossed her to the ground, eyes losing their false friendly look. "C'mon now, cooperate…"

"No! Natsume, help me!"]

Mikan scream grew louder, and she yanked her hand out of Natsume's grasp, clawing desperately at her eyes to remove the images.

The door slammed open, and she heard Jamie yelling frantically above her own screams.

[The guy looked around as though expecting someone to run and save the day, before sneering down at her. "No one's going to save you. Give it up."

"He'll save me! He always saves me!"]

Natsume's hand let go of her as Jamie shoved him away, embracing her tightly. "Come back." She heard him whisper, prying her hands away from her scratched up eyes.

["Well, he won't this time." He smirked down at her, and all at once his friends pinned her down. "You're on your own this time, little girl.

She struggled desperately to get out of their grips, but they tightened with disturbing strength, and she cried out in pain. One of them twitched slightly, not expecting her sudden outburst, and her left hand escaped, and she scratched one of the people's eyes.

He growled in pain, and drew a knife out of his pocket. "How do you like your eye being scratched!" he cried out angrily, bringing the knife down towards her left eye.

She screamed in pain as he dragged the blade along her slammed-shut eye and red clouded her vision and thoughts.

It barely registered to her that one of the people had gotten her shirt half off, and she screamed once more for Natsume to save her…]

She tried to scream again, but her voice was lost from so much before, and instead she desperately held onto the left side of her face. Jamie was cradling her, whispering in her ear to calm her, but she couldn't hear anything, just the screams that echoed from her past.

'Where are the doctors?' she wondered, her head lolling to the side. 'Kuonji probably told them not to check on me.'

She caught sight of Natsume sitting by her, face half buried in her shirt, but it was tilted enough so he could watch her face.

'Why am I not in a mental institute?' she thought blankly, staring back at Natsume.

He caught her gaze, and his mouth formed the word 'sorry' repeatedly.

She stared at him, watching blankly as he continued to say it. What was he sorry for? He hadn't raped her.

She reached out and grabbed his hand, dropping the possession she had created in her alice frenzy.

She let go, and he looked into his hand, face distraught.

'Don't look like that.' She thought blearily. 'I hate unhappiness. Me and Jamie have enough of it for everyone…'

He looked back up at her, face crumpling in unbearable pain and sadness, and shook his head, his string of apologies continuing.

The dark cloud that was so familiar made its appearance, willing her to let go of the world, even for a little while.

"Help me," she mouthed back to Natsume, slumping into Jamie's arms as the cloud loomed forward.

Her hearing came back before she left, and she heard Jamie tell Natsume to find the paramedics.

He jumped to his feet, dropping the alice-stone she had just given him, and running to look for the closest doctor.

"Good night, dog…" she whispered, trying to smile reassuringly at Jamie.

He let out a mixture of a sob and a laugh. "Come back soon." He whispered back, kissing her forehead.

"'Promise…" she replied weakly, allowing the cloud to finally consume her and send her into nothingness.

I think I'm getting a little better with the emotional battles. That's not good, is it?

SO YES! MIKAN WAS RAPED, sEcretmiNdLoLITA!

Anyway, just in case anyone asks: No, I have never been raped. I'm probably reading too much VC Andrews.

My depression is just… strong enough to help me write this. It's like… getting out some of my personal anguish.

… Am I a bitch? Because this isn't all Mikan went through. Remember the nightmare she had in chapter 3? So, yeah. More anguish-y angst-y stuff for you guys.