"I don't know what to say guys. I don't have enough information on transgender people to know what to say… have you talked to your parents yet Finn?" Mr. Shue began speaking with me after I stopped crying.
"Yeah, Burt and my mom were really cool about it. They told me it was a shock, but that they weren't disappointed or upset. And my mom said she always wanted a daughter, so she was looking on the Brightside, I guess."
Mr. Shue and I were sitting in chairs in the middle of the floor, facing each other. The rest of my supporters were sitting in the red chairs behind me.
"Good. I'm sorry I cant be more help to you, but like I said, I don't know much about this… how about I do some research with Miss Pillsbury, and we'll get back with you. Class is done for the day." Mr. Shue looked incredibly tired.
"Thank you, Mr. Shue," I said as I grabbed my backpack. My friends and I all decided to go back to my house to talk more about everything. Mostly, they were curious as to why I felt this way, what it was like, and what they could do to help.
"So, I want to know what your female name is?" Rachel was the first to ask as we sat around my living room, eating pizza, halfheartedly watching a movie, and mainly chatting.
"Well… promise you guys won't laugh?" I looked at every face in the group. Sam, Artie, Brittany, and Santana all nodded. Quinn and Kurt murmured their agreement, and Puck and Rachel both said 'I promise'.
"Okay… my name is Fiona. Fiona Hudson." there was a little bit of silence, and then Puck pecked my cheek.
"Fiona is a gorgeous name. Do you want us to start calling you that?" he asked. I nodded quickly, loving the idea of finally being able to be myself.
"And I am assuming you want to go by feminine pronouns as well?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, if… if you guys don't mind…" I stammered. This was too good to be true.
"Well of course we don't mind, Fiona." Artie said, trying out the name for the first time. Kurt, Burt, and mom had started slipping it in here and there, but I was ready for them to completely drop Finn, because that wasn't my name. My heart swelled at the words coming from Artie's mouth. Fiona really was a great name.
"What about clothes?" Santana questioned.
"I talked to my mom about that. She said I could start by wearing them at home, but she wants me to see a therapist before I go publicly as female," I replied. The group nodded.
"Can we take you shopping… when you're ready?" Brittany asked. The other girls nodded.
"That would be so awesome," I grinned at my friends, glad that they were truly here for me. And even though I lost a few, I found out who my true friends were.
Soon after that, they started to leave. Quinn and Rachel left first, followed closely by Santana and Brittany. Artie left next, and then Sam. Kurt left with Sam, and I secretly hoped they would hit it off; they looked good together, and I knew they both had a bit of a crush on each other. Finally, it was just me and Puck left.
"How do you feel about all of this?" I asked. We were sitting on the couch together, and he had his arm around my shoulders.
"I've known you were a girl forever Fiona. I don't know how, I just did. You've always been my best friend, and not just because we both played football and liked to sing, but because we had this connection. And I've always thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever met. I am completely comfortable with how you are," Puck smiled at me. I was thrown off guard by this side of Puck. I was used to my badass best friend, not some sweet, charming guy who wanted to protect me.
"And how do you feel… about me?" I asked, not having the patience to wait any longer. I had to have him elaborate on what he said before he sang that song.
"I love you. And it doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl, black or white, rich or poor, Finn or Fiona, the quarterback or a cheerleader, or just some person in glee, because I don't care. I just love you, as long as you're not a lesbian," we laughed, and he leaned down to press a kiss to my lips.
"I love you too, you know. I have forever," I whispered to him. He smiled and kissed the top of my head.
"Well, you do know where that leaves us, right?" He asked me. I just looked at him curiously. He took my hand, looked me in the eyes, and asked, "Fiona Hudson, will you be my girlfriend?" I answered him with a kiss.
Maybe the world was an awful place, full of people who hated you for simply being you. And maybe nothing ever turned out the way you hope. And sometimes, your mind or body can feel like a prison, and everything just hurts. A lot of the time, you'll lose good friends because of something you do, or how you are, or just by being honest. But there are always good parts too, parts that blind you so all you see is the light. There is a way to break out of that invisible prison, and you will always have friends that love you. I realized all of this, as I sat with my boyfriend and watched movies while he stole kissed during the slow parts. I realized this when my mom took me to my therapy sessions, and I realized this when I got to dress like a woman fully for my first day of my senior year of high school. And eventually, I'll fix the parts of my body to fully reflect Fiona, but for now, I am comfortable with what I am doing. Maybe I started my life trapped in Finn's body, but Fiona is slowly making her way out.