A Humorous Romantic Tragedy. With all the hopes and dreams he'd shattered, who would have thought that the girl to finally win the heart of the playboy of Hogwarts would literally be blind to all his charms?

A/N: I'm sorry this took a while. School took over my life.

So it's finally come to an end. Thanks to everyone who's been with me throughout this turbulent journey:

Larry1710, Jessica, SandNinja101, Galactic Cannibalism, YANIsweetness7, The Pink Marauder, NinjaHarryPotter4life, Jokegirl, Calamity and Chaos, TwinzLover, SnarkySidekick, Mochakitty123, MissEasyPeasy, Mily-chan, Harajuku Flavors, FiercelyJalice, debbie2, 4evercrazy96, -MistressKirya13-, Maille Makeout, MischievousAngel0923, Vampire Blood Kitten, VampiresRule103 and whataboutamanda.

Some of the facts may not line up with the books, only because I haven't been able to get my hands on a copy of them at the library. All my facts taken from the hp-lexicon and Harry Potter Wiki. But hey, they've got to be pretty reliable there, don't they? The location of Peter's place is completely fictional since I couldn't find information on where he lived after Hogwarts.

There's a reference to one of my favourite movies, Leon: The Professional, in this final chapter. Virtual cookies to whomever can spot it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the world of Harry Potter (or Sirius Black). I don't even own any of the books. So please don't sue.

If I Can't Love Her

The clock had just struck eleven on the night of October 31, 1981. Most of London, both wizarding and muggle were asleep. With the exception of one dark haired young man who was sitting in a dimly lit living room, lacing up his boots. The apartment he was in was an eclectic mix of both worlds. The mantle above the fireplace held both moving and non-moving photos. A bookshelf in the corner contained titles like 'Quidditch Through The Ages', 'A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions' and 'Saucy Tricks for Tricky Sorts' mixed in with other books like 'Carrie' by Stephen King, 'Decline and Fall' by Evelyn Waugh and 'O Jerusalem' by Laurie R. King. A well cared for cello leaned against one wall and right next to it sat a tri-tiered lyre, with printed Braille sheet music in neat little piles around both instruments. Pulling on his coat, Sirius checked his pockets one last time and made sure he had his wand strapped in its sheath on his arm.

"Where are you off to?"

Sirius' head snapped up in surprise, but that soon gave way to a pleasant sense of contentment. Standing in the doorway to the master bedroom, with one hand on the doorframe and the other holding up the very crumpled sheets off the bed, Emily was sleepily looking somewhere to his right, a brow cocked in question. A rather large diamond on the third finger of her left hand caught the faint light in the room, a sight that caused the wizard to grin. The young woman's eyes shifted to lock with his as her ears picked up the sound of his footsteps as he approached her.

"Just going to check on Wormtail," said Sirius, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of her head. The familiar scent of vanilla enveloped him, causing him to have to stifle a growl. From the look on Emily's face though she knew exactly what he was thinking. "You should go back to bed."

"Ok," she agreed as she yawned and allowed Sirius to turn her around and push her gently back into the bedroom. "Oh, we've still got some of those cookies Julia sent us. Bring them with you. You know how much Peter likes her baking."

Sirius smiled. Julia had finally graduated with her medical degree at the beginning of the year. Around the same time, she had met a muggle lawyer and, after dating for four months, he had asked her to move in with him. Emily liked to joke about how they were the ultimate power couple and how, between the both of them, they'd produce freakishly intelligent babies. Sirius had to appreciate the fact that Emily no longer shared the apartment with her sister though, for he never could quite meet Julia's eyes on the mornings after he'd spent the night, especially when the woman kept shooting him knowing little smirks. Honestly, it disturbed him a little.

"And don't forget we're supposed to meet Alice and Frank for lunch tomorrow," said Emily as Sirius pulled the blanket over her.

"I won't forget."

As he got up to head towards the door, Emily's quiet voice in the dark stopped him.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

She was smiling up at him, her cerulean blue eyes slightly more unfocused than they usually were. It took a considerable amount of effort for Sirius to stay where he was and not return to bed with her.

"You know I love you, right?" She yawned again. "Just be careful out there."

Sirius nodded though he knew she couldn't see it.

"I will." He paused, watching as she slowly drifted off to sleep again. "I love you, Em."

Stopping in the kitchen to pick up the cookies for Peter, Sirius took one more look around the apartment before heading out the door. Locking it behind him, Sirius recast the numerous protection and warning charms over the apartment. Emily usually teased him about being paranoid whenever he did that when they went out, but she never stopped him. She was just as aware as he was about the dangers they faced, even in the muggle world, with Voldemort continually growing in power. The dark wizard was vicious in taking out anyone who stood in his way, be they muggle or wizard. And with him having clearly targeted the Potters after they had refused to join his cause, Sirius wasn't about to take any chances with Emily. Not when it was common knowledge that he was James' best friend.

The street outside Emily's apartment was empty. Parked under a streetlamp was an ordinary looking white 1959 Triumph 650 Bonneville T120, the only noticeable oddity about it being that it was much larger than other motorcycles of its make. Sirius felt a small burst of pride. He had found the motorcycle just before September of his final year at Hogwarts and had lovingly fixed it up, adding all sorts of magical enhancements. During the same year, when he had almost messed things up with Emily, working on his bike during the holidays was one of the few things that kept him sane. The best thing about it though was that Emily loved the motorcycle just as much as he did, especially the fact that he had enchanted it to fly as well. Kick-starting the bike, Sirius turned it south and proceeded to head out of London, taking to the air once he was outside the city limits.

Dumbledore had moved Peter out of his mother's house around the same time that the Potters had gone into hiding. It was brilliant really. Sirius had been such an obvious choice to be James and Lily's Secret Keeper that he knew no one would even consider Peter. Dumbledore had agreed with him and had cast the Fidelius Charm with Peter as the Potter's Secret Keeper. That had been a week ago.

Flying over Bath, Sirius wondered how young Harry was doing. The child had just turned one a few months ago and the last time he had seen the boy, he had been flying around on the toy broom he and Emily had gotten him for his birthday, breaking anything that wasn't charmed to stick down on the shelves or tables around the house. Emily loved Harry. When he was born, she had written him a lullaby on her cello, recorded it, and had Sirius charm the tune into a music box. Lily swore Harry wouldn't sleep if the lullaby wasn't playing.

Emily wanted kids once they were married. Sirius smiled absently, the wind whipping through his hair as he flew his bike through a cloud. Married – they were going to get married. He had proposed again. On her birthday. And she had said yes. Sirius knew he was grinning now but he didn't care. Emily had said yes. He was still trying to get used to the fact that, in less than a month, Emily was going to be completely his. Even now, every time he looked at her, his brain would possessively scream, "Mine!" Who would have thought that Sirius Black, of all people, would settle down and be a married man? But Sirius couldn't imagine life without her; didn't even want to contemplate the possibility.

Seeing the town of Bridgwater below him, Sirius began his descent. He knew from experience not to fly too close to the lights of the town, just in case someone decided to look up, and kept a decent amount of cloud cover between him and the inhabitants below. About a mile out of Bridgwater, Sirius landed his motorcycle in front of an unassuming cottage with ivy growing halfway up its chimney. Armed with the cookies, Sirius walked up the gravel walkway, whistling one of Emily's favourite Haydn compositions. It was early in the morning of Tuesday, November 1, 1981 and there were still a few more hours until sunrise. But he and James had prearranged this meeting with Peter the week before, so when there still was no answer after his second knock, the wizard began to feel his blood run cold.

"Alohomora," whispered Sirius, aiming his wand at the door handle, which unlocked with a soft click.

It was dark inside the cottage. Holding his wand out in front of him, Sirius slowly reached for where he knew the light switch was located, a defensive curse ready on his lips. Light flooded the front room as Sirius tracked his wand in a semi-circle around himself. The house was empty. He checked the kitchen, the bathrooms, both bedrooms and every cupboard and storage area in the cottage. Nothing was missing. Nothing had been moved. And Peter was nowhere to be found.

Sirius frowned. There were no signs of a struggle, so Peter must have left the cottage voluntarily. But why would he have done so when he knew Sirius would be calling on him that morning? Unable to shake off the feeling that something was very wrong, Sirius exited the cottage that had been Peter's hiding place for the past week and climbed back on his motorcycle, turning it in the direction of Godric's Hollow.

Unlike the trip down to Bridgewater, the one up to Godric's Hollow was reckless and worry-filled. At one point he cut right in front of an airplane coming in for a landing at the Bristol airport. Staying undetected was the furthest thing from Sirius' mind. He could feel, and hear, the vehicle below him protesting as he pushed its engine further and further beyond the normal speed limits of what it should have been capable of accomplishing if it had not been magically enhanced.

As the young wizard started his descent, he caught sight of something that had his heart plummeting to his stomach. Spiralling up above the village of Godric's Hollow was a pillar of dark smoke – right over where James and Lily's house should have been. Sirius still had enough to sense to make sure he landed his bike out of sight of any prying muggle eyes, but once he was on the ground it took a surprising amount of effort to dismount and actually walk towards the Potters' home.

There were flashing lights all over the place. A large red truck was parked in front of the house, a long hose running from it to where several men were aiming it at the still smouldering remains. Sirius recognised several vehicles that belonged to the muggle police, their red and blue lights blinking on the roof of each. Another truck, white with a chequered green and yellow stripe along its side, was parked closest to the ruins of the house. Its back doors were flung wide open, the light shining from inside blindingly bright.

"We found one!"

It was then that Sirius noticed that there were uniformed muggles treading carefully through the remains of the Potters' home. Others were rolling some sort of portable bed towards the one who had shouted out. It didn't feel like he was really there. It was like he was seeing everything through someone else's eyes. He watched as two men pulled someone out of the rubble, carried the body through the ruins, and carefully placed it on the rolling bed. He watched as another group of uniformed muggles circled the bed, talking quietly amongst themselves. Someone shook their head. And then a blanket was pulled over the body.

He could hear whispers around him and vaguely wondered when the crowd had formed. Or maybe they had been there all along and he just hadn't noticed. These were obviously James and Lily's neighbours. He had seen the woman in the fluorescent green bathrobe tending her garden the last time he and Emily had paid his best friend a visit.

"Oh it's just awful!" she was saying. "They were such a young couple too. And little Harry no older than one."

"Not the baby too!" someone else gasped.

"Just look at the house, Doreen! The poor thing never stood a chance."

Sirius had seen, and heard, enough. James, Lily and Harry were dead. Peter was missing. It didn't take a genius to piece two and two together. And it was all his fault. He had trusted Peter, they all had. Clenching his hands into fists, Sirius turned around to return to his motorcycle. Wormtail – the bastard had been aptly named. The dark-haired wizard snorted at the irony. Even the man's Animagus form had been a rat. They should've known.

He forced himself not to turn around. He wouldn't be able to walk away again if he did. James, Lily and Harry…little Harry…What was he going to tell Emily?

"Sirius."

When he found Peter he was going to throttle the son of a…

"Sirius."

And then he was going to…

"SIRIUS!"

The young wizard's head shot up at the sound of the harsh whisper. Standing at the entrance of a narrow street, a giant of a man was waving him over. Sirius hesitated. Peter already had a head start. But Hagrid seemed rather anxious to talk to him. He frowned. Why was Hagrid there? How had he heard about the Potters so fast? Reaching for his wand, Sirius cautiously approached the half-giant.

"Hagrid," he said, inclining his head in way of greeting.

"Did yeh see the house?" asked Hagrid, his eyes wide. It almost looked as if the man was scared.

"Yes. It…" Sirius felt his control slipping. "He destroyed them. He…"

Hagrid started to panic. Young Sirius Black was falling apart right in front of his eyes. The young Marauder who had always seemed so confident, so capable, was trembling like a leaf, looking as if he were struggling to hold back tears. Hagrid reached out a tentative hand, meaning to try to comfort the man, but Sirius pulled back, glaring at him suspiciously.

"Why are you here Hagrid?"

"Wha'? Sirius I – " Hagrid broke off, backing away and holding his arms up as he realised that Sirius had drawn his wand and was now aiming it at his chest.

"How did you hear about what happened so quickly?"

"Now don't do anythin' hasty, Sirius. Dumbledore sent me. He wanted me ter fetch Harry."

"Harry?"

Hagrid slowly reached for the opening of his large moleskin overcoat, keeping a close eye on Sirius' wand. He drew back the front to reveal a tiny bundle he had been cradling against his chest.

"He survived, mate. I don't know how. Don't know how Dumbledore knew either. But young Harry survived it all."

Sirius frowned. It wasn't possible. There was no way a baby could have survived what had happened to the house. Voldemort didn't leave survivors. But the gentle cooing coming from the blanket wrapped bundle in Hagrid's arms said otherwise. He lowered his wand.

"How…"

"Don't know, mate. He's a li'l banged up but fine otherwise."

Hagrid folded back the blanket as Sirius approached him, staring at young Harry Potter as if he were a Fanged Geranium that was about to bite his head off. The half-giant heard his sharp intake of breath as he recognised the baby and saw some unknown emotion flash across his eyes. He was still very much aware that Sirius had his wand out though as he watched his fellow wizard reach out for the distinct scar on Harry's forehead.

"I reckon that's where the curse hit 'im. Dumbledore will pro'bly be able ter remove it."

"I'll take him back to Em," said Sirius reaching out for the baby.

"Sorry, Sirius," said Hagrid, drawing Harry back into the safety of his coat. "But I've got strict orders ter bring him ter his aunt and uncle."

"Lily's sister?" exclaimed Sirius in disbelief. "She didn't even come to their wedding! I don't think Lily's spoken to her in months. Em and I are his godparents!"

"Orders are orders, mate," said Hagrid apologetically.

Sirius shook his head.

"How are you even going to get there?"

"Well, I was goin' ter take the bus," admitted Hagrid sheepishly.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, stopping abruptly when he realised what he was doing and whom the action reminded him of. He sighed. Reaching into his one of his pockets, he pulled out the keys to his motorcycle and held them out to Hagrid. The half-giant recognised them right away, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Are yer sure, mate?"

"Yeah. Take the bike, Hagrid. I won't need it anymore. Get Harry safely to Dumbledore."

Hagrid accepted the keys, handling them almost reverently.

"I promise I'll take real good care o' Harry. And yer bike too."

"I know you will," said Sirius softly, taking one last look at Harry. Once he'd dealt with Peter he'll go speak to Dumbledore. Harry should be with him and Em. She already loved the boy as if he were her own son. And he knew James wouldn't want the boy growing up with those awful muggles. He had started to turn around when Hagrid called his name again.

"Sirius!" The man hesitated, searching for the right words to say. "I'm really sorry."

Sirius nodded. He knew what Hagrid was trying to say.

"Keep him safe."

"I will," said the half-giant vehemently.

Hagrid didn't try to stop him as he turned around again. And Sirius was glad he hadn't. For then he would have seen the look of murderous intent in his eyes. There were only so many places Peter could hide. And once he was through with the traitor, not even St. Mungo's best Healers would be able to piece him back together.

Peter Pettigrew looked up and down the street nervously. He'd looked over his shoulders five times since coming out of the alleyway he had Apparated into and he'd barely taken ten steps out of it. The morning was well and truly underway and the streets of London were packed with muggles. He stumbled as someone bumped into him from behind, not even stopping to apologise in their rush to get to wherever it was they were going. Peter pulled his cloak tighter around himself and kept his head down. It wasn't as if he needed to draw more attention to himself. Running across the road as fast as his short legs could carry him, ignoring the blaring horns directed at him from the metal monstrosities that the muggles favoured for travel, Peter stopped in front of the entryway up to Emily's apartment.

Proceeding cautiously up the stairs, his wand drawn in his left hand, the squat man struggled to keep his breathing even. He wished he had some Felix Felicis on him at the moment. He certainly needed it. Sirius Black was not a man who would go down quietly, especially not in his own home. Cradling his heavily bandaged right hand close to his chest, Peter paused before a door on the third floor, took a shuddering breath and knocked – two short knocks, one, and then two again. He could hear shuffling from behind the door before the clinking of the security chain being removed reached his ears and the door swung open. His left arm swung up, wand jabbing sharply into a thin, white throat – startling blue eyes widened in shock.

It was obvious that the woman before him had been crying. Her dark hair was tied up in a messy bun, her feet were bare and her tiny frame was drowning in an over-sized sweater. She looked paler than she usually did, and the blue of her irises stood out starkly against her red-rimmed eyes. Peter could see her chest rising and falling violently, and for the briefest of moments felt his resolve waver. But then the pain emanating from his right hand reminded him of what he had to do.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter demanded, forcing Emily back into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. She remained silent, eyes narrowed and condemning. "Don't make me hurt you, Em."

Emily glared at him. Somehow, as bedraggled as her appearance was, she still managed to look magnificently indomitable, even with bloodshot eyes. It was easy to see why Sirius had fallen in love with her. Peter swallowed nervously.

"I don't want to hurt you, Em."

That got a reaction. Emily growled.

"Well, that's comforting!"

"Just tell me where Sirius is."

"Why? So you can kill him? Like you killed Lily and James? And Harry? He was only a baby!"

Emily made to move towards him, but the sudden increase of pressure of Peter's wand on her neck reminded her that he was arm whereas she was not. Her accusing gaze held his unwaveringly, and Peter had to shake off the ridiculous thought that she could actually see him. Back ramrod straight, she faced her attacker without fear.

"Remus called. He told me what had happened. He wanted to know where Sirius was too. Wanted to know if he was all right, because he was their Secret Keeper. Voldemort should never have found them."

Peter could feel the sweat gathering under his arms and on his palms. He tightened his grip on his wand.

"But you and I know the truth. Don't we?" Her face twisted into an ugly, vicious snarl. "Was it worth it?"

Peter resisted the urge to turn away. Why was he afraid of a blind woman? And a muggle at that! Still, he didn't like the way Emily was looking at him. Emily who was always so gentle, who always laughed at his jokes when no one else did, who could make the sun shine just by smiling at him. He wanted that Emily back. He had to make her understand.

"I had no choice, Em. You don't understand how powerful he is. He would have killed me! I had to do it! I had no choice!"

"Then you should have let him kill you!" Emily spat. "They were your friends!" And then an emotion worse than anger replaced the look in her eyes – disappointment. "We would have helped you. You were safe in the house Dumbledore set up for you. The Order would have protected you."

"No one's safe from the Dark Lord. Em – "

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

Peter winced, his right arm dropping to hang limply by his side. The bandage was stained a reddish-brown now. The flow of blood had obviously not stopped. Peter suddenly felt very tired. He needed to find Sirius. He needed to deal with the other Marauder before anyone else found out who James and Lily's Secret Keeper really was. He had thought for certain that the other wizard would have returned to Emily's apartment to check on her once he realised what had happened. He couldn't simply wait here. Sirius might be reporting back to the Order that very minute.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Em. Where is Sirius?"

The young woman clenched her fists, pressing her lips tightly together. Peter frown, pressing his wand harder into her neck. Why did she have to be so stubborn? Maybe a spell…

"Imper – "

But she had moved before he could finish casting the curse. She was surprisingly fast. Or perhaps just lucky. She hadn't tried to avoid the spell either, throwing herself at the small wizard and knocking his wand out of his hand in the process.

Peter brought his hands up to shield his face as Emily lashed out savagely. Her nails caught him across the cheek, and though as a musician she kept them neatly trimmed, they were still long enough to leave red welts on his skin. Her closed fist smashed into his right ear with enough force to cause a ringing in his head. He grabbed at her arms in an attempt to subdue her. Her leg shot out in retaliation, getting tangled between his and causing the both of them to topple onto the floor. Emily cried out as she landed on her shoulder.

As Peter tried to extricate himself from her, he noticed how Emily's eyes darted all around the room, her brow furrowed in what looked to be concentration instead of pain. The realisation of what she was doing hit him like a Shock Spell. She was using her sense of hearing to determine his movements and location in the room. As she reached out for him, just barely missing by an inch or two, Peter scrambled to retrieve his wand with renewed determination. Emily may have been blind and a muggle, but Peter knew she could be dangerous in her own way. He was sure that she would have no qualms about scratching his eyes out once she got her hands on him. Spotting his wand under the recliner, Peter closed his hands around it just as Emily had grabbed a hold of the back of his robe.

"Stupefy!" Peter yelled desperately.

A look of surprise flashed across Emily's face as the Stunner struck her in the chest. Perhaps it was because she was so slight. Or maybe Peter had cast the spell with more force than he had intended to. Either way, the spell was strong enough to knock Emily off her feet, sending her flying across the room. She slammed into the bookshelf. A sickeningly loud crack echoed through the apartment. Peter watched in horror as Emily crumpled face down onto the floor.

"Em?"

She wasn't moving. A feeling of dread washed over the traitorous wizard. Peter slowly approached Emily's prone body.

"Em?"

Bending down next to her, Peter reached out to turn Emily over when he suddenly stopped short, staring in horror at the back of her head. It didn't look right. Even against her dark hair, he could see the blood seeping through. So much blood. His stomach heaved. Shakily, he aimed his wand at her wound.

"Episkey!"

Nothing happened.

"Episkey! Episkey! Damn it! EPISKEY!"

Peter scurried backwards, placing as much distance between him and Emily's body as possible. This wasn't supposed to happen. Sirius was going to kill him…Sirius was…Emily wasn't…Peter shook his head. He couldn't stay. He had enough sense to know that. If Sirius found out…He wouldn't stand a chance.

Getting unsteadily to his feet, Peter hurried out the door.

Sirius popped the collar of his jacket and pulled it tighter around his throat. He had Apparated back to Peter's cottage, turning the place upside down in an attempt to find any sort of clue that might tell him where the traitor had gone. It had been a frustrating and fruitless endeavour. He would need to report back to the Order soon. But first he had to get Emily. He didn't want her to find out about James, Lily and Harry without him there to comfort her, and it had occurred to him that her apartment was, in all likelihood, no longer a safe place. Even with all the protective and anti-Apparation charms on the apartment and building itself.

The dark haired wizard waited impatiently at the crossing for the light to turn green. He would bring Emily to Dumbledore. There was nowhere else that was safer now. Despite the rumours that had reached his ears of Voldemort having been defeated, that for some reason failing to kill young Harry had been his undoing, Sirius wasn't about to take the chance. Not when Peter was still on the loose.

Turning the corner, Sirius was barely six feet from the entrance of Emily's apartment when a familiar looking man exited the building in a rush. His heart stopped cold. He'd recognise that rat-like face anywhere.

"PETTIGREW!"

Peter's head snapped around at the sound of Sirius' voice, eyes wide in terror. The look in the other man's eyes promised pain and death. Peter turned and ran. Sirius roared in fury and gave chase.

The smaller wizard never made it very far. There were enough muggles on the street to obstruct his escape route and Sirius' bigger strides covered the distance almost effortlessly. Peter was about to transfigure into his Animagus form when Sirius' hand clamped down on the back of his neck.

"Sirius! Please!"

Sirius spun him around and Peter gasped as he found his air supply quickly being cut off by Sirius' hand around his throat. His wand was pointed menacingly at Peter's left eye. The man whimpered.

"I should kill you right now." Sirius voice was cold and literally dripped acid. "We trusted you."

"Please…Sirius…I didn't mean to. I swear! It was an accident!"

"You'll have me believe that James and Lily's murders were an bloody accident?"

"James?" Peter echoed dumbly. A look of recognition dawned. "Yes, James. And Lily. You don't understand, Sirius! I had no choice!"

Sirius growled, the tip of his wand digging into the flesh just below Peter's eye. They were starting to draw the attention of the muggles around them. Some shot the pair curious looks but continued walking down the street. Others actually stopped to watch merely feet away. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as Peter's first pleas properly registered with him.

"What was an accident, Wormtail?" asked Sirius, his voice barely above a whisper yet dangerously threatening nonetheless.

Peter moaned, a frightened keening sound that drew even more stares.

"I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to!"

Sirius shook him violently. Peter cried out louder.

"It was an accident! I would never hurt her!"

Sirius froze. Her? A tight knot of unease formed in the pit of his stomach.

"What did you do?"

Peter blubbered incoherently. Sirius looked at him in disgust. He really was a sorry excuse for a human being. How had he not seen this earlier? Sirius turned to head back to Emily's apartment, dragging a struggling Peter behind him.

The other wizard was panicking. Sirius was going to kill him. He was going to die. He didn't want to die. His survival instinct kicking in, Peter withdrew his wand that Sirius had neglected to take from him. The only thing left to do was fall back on his original plan, on what he had intended to do when he'd first gone to Emily's home.

"YOU'RE A TRAITOR, SIRIUS BLACK!" Peter yelled, loud enough for the entire street to hear. It was enough to cause said wizard to stop in his tracks, glaring darkly at him. Peter carried on before Sirius could say a word. "LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS! HOW COULD YOU? AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME TOO, AREN'T YOU! YOU MURDERER!"

The muggles were gaping at them. Sirius had had enough. With an animalistic roar, Sirius whipped his wand to point straight at Peter's heart. But he never got the chance to utter a spell. A sudden blast exploded and Peter was no longer there. Neither were half the street and the muggles that had been standing around them. Sirius found himself flat on his back, looking up at a deceptively clear sky.

Screaming erupted as people ran for safety, bowling others over in their panic. Sirius pushed himself up, watching the entire scene unfold, numbly. A high-pitched ringing faded in and out in his ears. He cast his eyes about; looking for the last spot he had seen Peter standing in. They landed on a bloody pile of robes. But where was the body?

And then it dawned on him what Peter had done. And he couldn't stop himself. The laughter poured forth from his lips unbidden – bitter and hateful. A series of loud pops alerted Sirius to the fact that he was no longer alone. The newcomers looked like they had been sent by the Ministry. He recognised the uniform robes as being that of the Magical Enforcement Squad.

"There!" one of them shouted.

Hurriedly getting to his feet, Sirius ran back towards Emily's apartment. He did not turn to see if they were coming after him. A flash of red zipping past his ear was enough of an answer. Barrelling through the entrance of the building, Sirius took the steps two at a time until he reached the third floor. There were no wards on the door, nor was it locked.

It was almost as if Sirius had no control over his body. Part of him didn't want to enter the apartment for fear of what he might find inside. But his feet led him forward. His eyes found her immediately. He couldn't breathe. It felt like he was falling – falling off the top of the Astronomy tower back at Hogwarts – and he was never going to stop. She looked so fragile, lying broken on the floor. Her hair formed a dark halo around her head. It almost looked as if she were sleeping.

Sirius found himself by her side without remembering how he got there. Carefully picking her up into his arms, he brushed the hair away from her face, stomach twisting as his hand came away sticky and red. He didn't know how long he sat there, cradling her in his arms. It felt like mere seconds and a thousand lifetimes at the same time. He didn't notice the entrance of the Magical Enforcement Squad. He didn't hear their yelled orders. It was only when one of them tried to remove her from him, did the wizard spring to life, growling menacingly. In the end, it took twenty of them to detain him, and even then, Sirius walked out of the building carrying her in his arms.

July 1993…

Located on a tiny island in the North Sea, Azkaban Fortress was renowned for driving its inmates mad. It had no real need for walls or water to keep its inhabitants in, not when the wizarding prison was patrolled by Dementors who kept the prisoners trapped within their own minds. Wails of despair and nonsensical mumblings were the prison's daily soundtrack, many wishing they were dead, just so they could end the torture.

Yet in a dank cell in the eastern wing of the fortress, soft humming drifted through the iron bars instead. They'd said he was already mad before Azkaban – a mass murderer who did not distinguish between wizard and muggle, a man whom had betrayed his closest friends and killed the woman who loved him.

Cornelius Fudge was not looking forward to visiting this particular cell. He could still remember the day they arrested Sirius Black. The man's maniacal laughter haunted him in his sleep. And that muggle girl…

The apartment had shown signs that the two of them were living there together. There were numerous pictures of the couple with the Potters and Longbottoms. In every single one, they looked madly and deeply in love with each other. But then again, looks could be deceiving. Fudge could not understand why Black had killed her, especially in the manner in which he had. The back of her head had been smashed in and there were no obvious signs of magic on her body. It was a brutal and violent death. When they had finally caught up to Black, it was to find him covered in her blood.

Fudge twisted his rolled up copy of the Daily Prophet, the action doing nothing to calm him down. It did not help matters that his Dementor guide was hovering only a few feet away, sucking up any feeling of happiness the man had. He took a deep breath – time to get it over with.

The wizard inside the cell had obviously once been quite handsome. But the years in Azkaban had not been kind. Matted black hair hung in a filthy mess down to his elbows and he had loss enough weight to resemble a corpse more than a living human being. If it weren't for the humming, Fudge could almost swear the man was dead. He sat unmoving in one corner of the small cell.

"Open it," the Minister of Magic order, his voice not as commanding as he would have liked it to be.

The humming faltered to a stop as the Dementor glided into the cell. Black did not acknowledge the Minister's presence, his dark curtain of hair hiding his eyes from view.

"Still alive, Black?" Fudge questioned, schooling his features into one of disgust instead of unease. "Pity. You may have escaped the Kiss but I'll get the Wizengamot to change their mind sooner or later. So enjoy this while you still can."

There was no reaction from the man. It unnerved Fudge who unrolled and re-rolled his newspaper agitatedly. Well, if Black was going to remain silent then Fudge was going to leave. He had more prisoners to see and had done his duty in making sure that Black was alive and well – more or less. Fudge hated these visits to Azkaban. He waved the Dementor ahead of him and the creature glided out reluctantly. He was just turning to leave himself when a deep, gravely voice stopped him.

"Are you done with that?" Fudge stared wide-eyed at the other wizard. A bony figure pointed at the newspaper in his hands. He looked down to see a large wizard family smiling and waving up at him from the front page. Deciding that Black wasn't about to break out of Azkaban any time soon using his copy of the Daily Prophet, Fudge tossed the paper at the convict's feet. Black's voice followed him out the cell doors, anything but respectful. "Thanks."

Sirius was humming again – Hadyn's Cello Concerto in D. It was one of the few things that kept him sane these days. And it reminded him of Emily.

Emily. He missed her. They hadn't let him keep any of her things. They took her locket, the one he had given her so many Christmases ago. And they took her ring. More than anything, Sirius had wanted to keep hold of that. They were supposed to be married. They were supposed to have little baby Emilys and Siriuses. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. She had been so afraid of him leaving her before and he couldn't even stop her from leaving him. Peter had taken everything away from him.

All he had left was Harry. Little Harry Potter whom Emily had loved as her own and was turning thirteen that month.

"…Ronald Weasley, youngest son of Arthur and Molly Weasley, will be returning in September for his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…"

On the boy's shoulder sat a familiar looking rat, a rat that was missing a toe on his right front paw. The corners of Sirius' lips pulled back into a frightening grin. Twelve years; Peter had managed to stay hidden for twelve years. But he knew where the traitorous rat was now and a Marauder reunion was long overdue.

Sirius' humming continued to drift through the bars of his cell, sounding lighter than it had been before. The tune caused his fellow inmates to shiver. If they hadn't known any better, they would have sworn that he sounded almost cheerful.

"Let the world be done with me"

We all knew it was coming. But I'm going to miss Emily all the same. This story has been my little pet project for a long time now and I'm actually quite proud that it's finally done.

Thanks again to everyone who stuck with me through this epic one-shot that became a seven chaptered, 52 paged monster. You have no idea how happy you guys have made me.

The last quote is the second part of the phrase that makes up the title of this story and, incidentally, the last line of the song that I originally mentioned in the first chapter, "If I Can't Love Her" from the Broadway version of 'Beauty and the Beast'. Do have a listen if you haven't already done so.

This isn't the first and certainly won't be the last time I play in the Harry Potter sandbox. I'll see you all again soon.

With love,

Scribbles