And now, it is time for…
Nut Reviews.
With Wade Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool.
Tonight's review:
Michelle Jones: Eclipse of the Heart by Fortune Glyph (it got removed, so don't try and find it.)
"HOLY CRAP, THIS IS THE GREATEST FIC EVER!" Deadpool said, bolting in front of the camera.
"So, there's this girl named Michelle Jones who's the Dragon-wielder."
"If the title didn't give it away, nothing would."
"And she's going out with her boyfriend while her ex is plotting eventual vengeance with two guys who have NO LUCK WITH THE LADIES."
"They break Michelle's ex, named Peter, out and well, plot EVIL stuff!"
"Meanwhile, a woman named Kida sends her young friend in to warn Michelle and her friends about Peter!"
"Her young friend is…"
"Duh-duh-duh-duh!"
"TLSoulDude!"
"He finds and warns the group about Peter and takes them to Kida's home…where she shows that Michelle's boyfriend killed her in a previous lifetime."
"Bummer."
"Anyways, Peter and his cronies show up and the heroes kick their tails!"
"YAY!"
"But then Peter kicks their butts."
"NOT-YAY!"
"And takes Michelle back to his EVIL hideout!"
"Which, ironically, is a large and pretty obvious castle."
"And CORRUPTS Michelle's mind to evil!"
"Le GASP!"
"Like we never saw THAT ONE coming."
"So, Michelle's boyfriend goes on a daring mission to save her before she marries Peter!"
"Wait, are they old enough to marry? I'm not sure."
"And, while breaking up the wedding, Michelle's boyfriend tries snapping her out of it. HER response is to try and run him through. However, Michelle's enemy-turned-friend takes the blow."
"I WAS RUN THROUGH ONCE! Only, it was through a factory when I stole the conveyor belt."
"The shock jolts Michelle back to her senses, says that she likes Peter, but likes her ORIGINAL boyfriend more."
"Kick 'im in the balls! Kick 'im in the balls! Kick 'im in the balls!"
"Then seals him away and goes on with her life."
"Bummer."
"They then return to Toon Town and live happily ever after. There would've been a THIRD fic, but Lucky up and left after chapter one was posted."
"So, this is a good fic with fluffy romance, humor, and some action."
"This is Wade Wilson saying…TIPS! GIVE ME TIPS! Come on! I PROMISE I won't corrupt you!"
With apologies to Fortune Glyph.
Personally, Michelle Jones: Eclipse of the Heart was a good fic.