Chapter 6: Dumb dogs and a hungry host
Little Twilight Sparkle was reading one of her many novels when suddenly somepony yanked it away from her.
"Hey!" Twilight pouted adorably at the golden yellow unicorn filly in front of her and tried to get her book back. "Give me back my book!"
The other filly just ignored her and skimmed through the pages of the novel. "This is such a cliché read," she complained with disgust, returning it to Twilight. "Naturally, it would entertain a common filly such as yourself."
"I am NOT common!" Twilight fussed. She stomped up to the filly and looked her in the eye. "And how dare you speak to me so brazenly! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
The other filly just smirked and flicked Twilight's chin. "And I am Princess Sunset, meaning I can talk to anypony anyway I want!" To prove her point, Sunset gave the nearest guard a nasty look as she trotted away.
Twilight gagged to herself and returned to her novel. She thought it was such a shame that a pretty, sophisticated filly had a heart of ice.
"Land ho!" Twilight woke up to the sound of shouting and threw her bed covers off her body. Startling poor, snoring Spike, she raced out of her room to see what was going on. There would be a time for brushing her mane later. They had only been out at sea for two days, and they had gathered enough supplies on the last island to last for a month without stopping. Therefore, Twilight could not help but assume something was amiss.
She reached the deck and opened her mouth to greet the others, but she quickly shut it once she saw all the chaos. Dirty, cackling pirates had invaded the ship! And these were not just any pirates; they were the Diamond Dogs.
The Diamond Dogs were infamous for plundering, stealing, and kidnapping innocent ponies at sea. They were the greediest of the greedy, the slimiest of the slime, for it was rumored that their hearts were made of stone.
Unfortunately for them, Twilight was not a morning pony.
"HEY!" A dog with a dumb look on his face turned to the furious princess, and she zapped him, setting his tail on fire. She smirked a little with satisfaction as he stupidly jumped into the ocean. But then, she noticed that many of the pirates were attacking the captain and Princess Rarity.
"Stupid pony!" One of the dogs hissed. He was a gray dog with cruel, bright green scleras. He wore a careworn, scarlet jacket and a diamond-studded collar with an imperial topaz gem hanging from it. He was obviously the captain of the virulent crew.
He grabbed Rarity by her delicate mane and tugged it, smirking as she squirmed and whined. "Quit your whinin'! Your bleedin' me ears!"
"I am not whining!" Rarity snapped. "I am complaining! But I can whine if you so wish, you scoundrel!" She sent a hard kick to his face, knocking him down. Another one of the dogs barred his teeth at her.
"Once we send the pony captain 'ere overboard," a bigger grey dog shouted, "you're gonna pay for that!"
"No!" The pirate captain got back on his feet and hit him. "We need them for bait for the monster!"
"Nopony's gonna be bait!" Twilight shouted. She tried to jump and attack the captain, but some of the pirates quickly caught up with her and grabbed her. Twilight noticed that all the other ponies had been caught, too, and one of the dogs was steering the ship toward a mysterious island. She wanted to teleport, but she did not know what the pirates would do to the others if she acted too rashly.
The captain sneered at Twilight and aimed his cutlass at her throat. "Oh you'll be, lass. You'll be."
Tank's Glory reached the white sands of the seemingly deserted island. The pirates quickly put the ponies in heavy chains and dragged them to the shore. After a few awkward minutes of standing, however, the pirates started questioning their captain.
"Should we kill one of 'em?" One of the dogs asked. "Maybe if the monster smells blood, it'll make the process go by quicker and we can leave."
"We don't want the monster to come too quick-like, Spot!" The captain barked. "Then we might be next!"
"Why are a bunch of 'scary' pirates scared of some little monster?" Rainbow taunted, earning a dirty look from all the pirates.
The captain aimed his cutlass at Rainbow's neck. "You shut your trap, lass! We ain't scared! We owe him a debt for saving our skins, and we promised him some lunch."
"I wonder what happened to his breakfast," one of the dogs muttered. The captain heard him and shrugged.
"Beats me. Maybe we should go see." Without any second thoughts, all the pirates foolishly left their prisoners in their chains and went off to find the 'meal'. As soon as they all were out of plain sight, Twilight and Rarity quickly and quietly used their magic to set everyone free.
"At least they're not smart," Spike grumbled, rubbing his sore arms. "Still, I don't particularly like being woken up like that."
"Sorry, Spike." Twilight paused to reflect on what the pirates just said and put two and two together. "Wait a minute. Did the pirates leave other ponies for breakfast?! We have to find them!"
"Who cares?" One of the sailors cried. "Let's just get out of here!"
"No way!" Rainbow shouted angrily. "Twilight's right. We gotta go see if we can rescue any."
"But what about going home?" Another sailor asked desperately. "What about our families?"
"Where's everypony's humanity?!" Rainbow scolded furiously. "What if you were left here by those stupid pups?" That silenced every doubter.
Twilight: What's humanity?
Pinkie: Uh... Must be a typo! (whispers to audience) Do not fret, Humans in Equestria. She doesn't know.
Twilight: What?
Pinkie: What what? Keep reading!
"Besides, this should not take long," Rarity promised. "Right, Twilight?"
"Right. Of course. Let's go then." She let Spike hop on her back, and led them all further inland. Eventually, they reached a huge cave that could fit hundreds of ponies, and they heard other signs of life inside the cave, particularly moans and groans.
Spike shivered as he heard the disturbing sounds and hid behind Twilight's mane. "I really don't like this, Twilight." Twilight nodded understandably and allowed for Spike to stay with Rarity.
"I'll go in," Twilight volunteered.
"And so will I." Applejack declared, laying a comforting hoof on Twilight's back.
"Me, too!" Rainbow cried earnestly, leading the way. The trio went inside the cave, following the noises. Then, after several minutes of trotting, they found them: malnourished ponies imprisoned in cages, pacing back and forth and keeping their eyes on the dirt beneath their hooves.
"Oh my…" Applejack shuddered at the sight and watched the ponies with pity and sorrow. "Who could do such a thing?"
"Lord…" One of the imprisoned ponies rasped. Twilight and her friends had to strain their ears to hear him properly. "Tirek…" He wheezed and coughed violently before continuing. "He's a… a monster. Leave while you still can! LEAVE!"
Twilight cautiously approached the pony. "He did this to all of you?"
"He eats pony flesh!" Another pony whimpered. "And look!" She turned, showing scarred, ripped flesh barely covered by matted carnation pink fur. "He ripped my wings clean off!"
Rainbow Dash turned pale, and Twilight gave her a hug for support. She knew that a pegasus' wings were as precious as a unicorn's horn and magic.
"Why would he do such things?" Applejack wondered aloud. "Kidnap ponies and tear them apart. What is he?"
"I can answer that," a male voice responded arrogantly. Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash gulped audibly as a huge shadow shrouded over them and its owner stepped into the light. He was a towering, bearded, centaur with gray horns fatter than the roundest pony. His blood red arms and upper body were like those of a statue, perfectly sculpted, toned, and muscular like those of the gods. His lower body was covered in stormy gray fur. His four gigantic hooves shook the earth beneath them. Lastly, his black eyes were cold and dark, like slabs of stone, unfeeling, merciless.
He wore an indifferent countenance as he regarded the trio. Meanwhile, Twilight was fighting the urge to flee right then and there. She could not believe her eyes! She had read about centaurs, but she never knew they were so tall and so... intimidating. If he wanted to, he could have effortlessly crushed them with his bare hands or hooves!
No one spoke. No one moved. No one breathed. Then, to everypony's shock, the centaur dipped his head respectfully.
"Greetings, your highnesses." His voice slightly shook the cave itself, and he was speaking very softly. "I am Lord Tirek. May I ask how and why you came to my humble home?"
Rainbow Dash nudged Twilight with her nose, and she stepped forward. "U-Uh... H-How d-did you..."
"Forgive me for my bluntness but I can smell the blood of all living creatures," Tirek explained. "And royal blood has a certain... spice to it." As if to prove a point, he licked his lips, sending shivers down the spines of his captives.
Twilight had heard enough. She grabbed both her friends and they tried to make a run for it, but the centaur was far too quick. He slapped his palms together, and bright, orange orbs of magic lit in both palms when he released them. He threw the spheres at many stalactites. They all fell and blocked the exit.
"Mortal ponies are beyond mindless and useless," Tirek murmured with feigned pity. He stalked toward the trio, who looked up at him with absolute terror. "They're disgraceful, and their magic must be harvested and used by the gods themselves!"
"W-What m-magic?" Rainbow Dash stuttered. "E-Earth ponies and pegasi -"
"ALL creatures have magic!" Tirek roared. "Energy, at least, life energy." His predatory gaze found Twilight, and he gave the unicorn a cruel smirk. "Unicorns, however, are a delicacy due to their pure, unquenchable magic."
Twilight shook herself out of her stupor and shielded her friends from his gaze. "What makes you think you can kill us? What makes you think I am not powerful enough to kill you myself?!" She was bluffing, of course. She would never intentionally kill any creature, unless it had to be done. (She was no stranger to that. She had just fought in an infamous war.) Twilight knew, however, that putting on a braver facade was a better solution at the moment then examining one's morality.
The centaur chuckled, making the caged prisoners flinch and finally turn their exhausted eyes toward the exchange. "Little princess, I cannot be killed so easily. Do you know who I am?" A tense, awkward silence ensued, answering his question. "Ignorance and negligence are expected from you." Tirek spoke directly to Twilight. His coal black eyes turned yellow as his nostrils flared with rage. " I am a mere... DEMIGOD AND YOUR WORST FEAR! SON OF SOMBRA HIMSELF!"
He created another sphere, this one bigger than the others, and trapped the three princesses in it. He held the sphere close to his face, cackling as Twilight tried to use her magic to escape. She was having very unpleasant flashbacks of bubble traps.
"Do not fret, princesses. I will not kill you just yet. Why, I was just preparing lunch for my other guests."
"Lunch?"
"For?"
"Guests?"
"Yes..." The centaur sneered impatiently and released their bubble. It floated in place. "In order to effectively drain all the life energy and magic of my victims, I must feed them, so they're at their maximum potential." He slapped his hands together again. This time, a toy sized banquet table emerged. As his eyes glowed, the table grew bigger and bigger until it was large and long enough for all the ponies to use.
The bubble unceremoniously burst, sending Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash crashing to the cavern's floor. But before the trio could even think about escaping, Tirek used his magic to lift them to their seats. He focused on getting the other prisoners soon after. Twilight struggled and fought to regain control of her body, but her feeble attempts were futile. Tirek would not let go, not unless...
In the present...
"No." Starlight stubbornly shook her head. "No. No! NO! My mother wouldn't do that!"
"She had to," Applejack insisted gently, laying a comforting hoof on the younger mare's head. "How else was she going to return home? And help them -"
"And it was an accident!" Rainbow Dash glanced furtively at her friend. "Right, AJ?"
Applejack just shrugged and looked at the skeptical wizard and young princess with sad eyes.
"That's what she told us, sugarcube."
Back in the past...
"You honestly expect us to eat our final meal without a decent drink?" Twilight barked indignantly at Tirek, who was at the head of the table. "What kind of a host are you?"
Everypony else and Tirek immediately dropped their utensils and goblets. Rainbow Dash gawked openly at Twilight. Applejack hid her groans behind her hat, figuring Twilight had finally lost it. The other prisoners either openly cried at the unicorn's foolishness or glared daggers at her for testing the centaur.
Tirek, however, smiled amusedly at her.
"I apologize, your highness. Forgive me for my negligence. You are quite right." He lazily stretched his limbs and shifted in his enormous seat. "What do you propose I do about this problem, my dear?"
Twilight paused contemplatively before grinning excitably at the centaur. "Mighty Tirek, release me -" His glare could frighten demons. "I, uh, I need to use my magic temporarily to summon some wine. And there's no need to worry! You can imprison me again as soon as I am finished."
Tirek eyed her curiously. "What spell do you plan on using?"
"A simple summoning spell. It will, of course, take some energy, but I'm sure everypony would absolutely love a drink right now. So, it's certainly worth it." She smiled hugely at her friends. "Right, guys?"
"She's gone nuts," Applejack whispered to Rainbow Dash.
"Guys?" She narrowed her eyes at them. "Guys..." Twilight suddenly did not feel as light as she did before and noticed that Tirek had released her.
"Just summon the wine!" Tirek snapped. "I am parched. If anypony wants wine, they can simply nod. And while you're at it, I prefer red wine over white."
Twilight nodded and shut her eyes. Concentrating on the spell, she felt her horn spark and burn with magic. Then, a resounding pop followed, and a pitcher of sparkly red wine appeared at the center of the table.
"Excellent!" Tirek used his magic to lift the pitcher. "I am no fool, by the way. I shall drink after another to test and see if you foolishly tried to poison me. Who wants a drink?" After everypony who wanted a drink received some wine, Tirek proceeded to savagely drink out of the pitcher itself.
Three hours later, Tirek was highly intoxicated, giggling and gurgling with stupidity and joy. Dessert had not even been served, and Tirek was prattling drunkenly about how weak his brother Scorpan was.
"Worthless l-little fool! Wonder how we h-have t-the s-same f-father and m-mother! S-She's a c-centaur herself, you know. Six feet under."
Twilight nodded and pretended to sip her wine. Tirek had released them after an hour of heavy drinking. Luckily, no pony, excluding the sleeping ponies, was as inebriated as the centaur was and stayed glued to their seats. Some simply decided not to drink, including Rainbow and Applejack, while others had passed out after a sip. (The wine was not only an enchanted wine that made any powerful, astute creature immediately act rashly and sleepily, but it was also too strong for most ponies.)
Twilight decided it was time to act and turned to the centaur. "Lord Tirek?" He raised his eyebrows at her questionably. "If your greatness does not mind, may I challenge you to a simple duel? Surely I am not as powerful nor as strong as you, even in your unstable state - "
"Unstable." Tirek's eyes glowed dangerously. "UNSTABLE?!" He stood from his seat and flexed his muscular arms. "Little princess, I terminate any creature of any size with a single breath! You underestimate me! Perhaps your arrogance is what lead you and your friends to their downfall."
"Perhaps it is." Twilight faked a doleful look. "But you have nothing to lose if you defeat me, which you surely will! You'll still have my life energy and magic to feast on."
"True, but why should I fight you? Are you exceptionally powerful?"
"I am a descendant of Starswirl the Great, moderately skilled."
"Why else should I fight you?" Tirek asked with barely suppressed amusement.
Twilight grinned sheepishly and bowed her head. "We do not have that much in common, mighty Tirek. That I know for certain. I am a spoiled, selfish princess who willingly plunges her companions and herself to her demise. You are the mightiest of all demigods - "
"Your point?" Tirek interrupted harshly.
"My point, mighty Tirek, is that we have this in common..." She raised her head and lifted her chin up proudly. "We enjoy a delightful challenge before a delightful reward. Your rewards come too easily to you. For you are a demigod of exceptional strength and cunning! Why resist any challenge? Why not make a lesson for all pony kind and murder me in a fight? This will show your might." She shut her eyes, teleported to his side, and bowed once more.
"And I, Lord Tirek, would be honored to lose my life in a fight with you."
No one moved nor spoke for several minutes. The prolonged silence began to make everypony, including Twilight, tense with anticipation. Then, the walls of the cavern shook as Tirek chortled monstrously and raised his hand. He destroyed the obstruction in the cave and left the cave, leaving a bunch of confused, awestruck ponies.
"THEN YOU SH-SHALL FACE ME, P-PRINCESS! PREPARE TO DIE AS I RELISH IN THE WORLD'S AMAZEMENT OF MY P-POWER! COME NOW AND FACE ME!"
Taking a deep breath, Twilight began to exit the cave, only to have both her friends stand in her way.
"What the hay are you doing?!" Rainbow cried with fear. "You're gonna be pulverized into dirt by that- that thing!"
Applejack, on the other hand, suddenly shut her eyes and swayed back and forth. Then, her eyes glowed brilliantly white, and beads of sweat trailed down her forehead. She murmured strange phrases for a few seconds, convulsing and terrifying the anxious, fidgety captors. (Celestia knows how long they had been kept in there!) Then, she blinked, and her eyes no longer glowed white.
"Twilight, if you face that centaur, you'll regret it." Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but Applejack quickly cut her off. "Twilight! You of all ponies have to believe me! Start thinking rationally! Sure, you used that fancy shmancy wine and got him drunker than a rattled rattlesnake. You may even defeat him somehow with that magic of yours. But if you do this - "
Twilight shook her head and lightly pushed her friends out of the way, heading straight for the waiting centaur.
"If you do this... the gods themselves will start cursing you until the day you die."
Author's Note: I know Tirek isn't an idiot. But in this case, it's the wine, not him. I thought he was a good fit for the character of Polyphemus because of his intimidating size and arrogance.