AN I: Sorry for the long wait between updates. I don't own Charmed. I only own the mistakes. I would love to hear from you, always….On with the story.
Chris could feel the couch, lumpy in all the right remembered spots, coils poking into his tender muscles and achy joints. He knew from experience he was in the attic; that he was home. Not your home, he reminded himself, not now. He could feel the tension around him, and without even opening his eyes he could tell the sisters and Leo were sitting, surrounding him, staring.
If Chris didn't remember other sickbed vigils from his youth, he might be more unnerved, as it was he bit back a sigh, unconsciously licking dry and bitten lips. The sting from his own saliva won an involuntary wince and Chris heard Piper's indrawn breath at his minute movement. God, he didn't want to deal with Piper right now.
His mom, sure. But not Piper.
The embarrassment at his untimely revelation, the soul scraping breakdown she witnessed behind his walls, it was too much. Chris has been alone too long to let her in now. If he allowed himself to need her, to love her again…. Even in the future, he was sure, Wyatt would find a way to ruin and taint any iota of happiness Chris sequestered for himself. It wasn't a risk Chris was willing to take; he no longer believed in happily ever after, justice, or even fate.
His heart was already in shambles; nothing left to break, fracture, or lose.
"Chris," she said gently, running her fingers through his hair. He tried not to flinch at her touch. It was, after all, a cheap imitation of the long-lost real thing and it hurt to feel it almost as much as to not feel it.
"I know you can hear me." She paused, probably working up the best way to tell him to get out, never see them again, shrivel up and die if he had the opportunity. All things she had screamed at him lately. "I know you don't feel well, and you've been through so much." Piper's voice broke and a sob, barely muffled, sounded like a falling anvil against the stifling quiet of the normally bustling attic.
"Ohh sweetie," murmured Phoebe. And she too placed her hand against Chris's shoulder. An effortless show of familial unity; Phoebe had always been cool like that.
"Yeah, dude. Can't play possum forever," added Paige. She nudged her foot up against his
Leo didn't say anything but when he laid his hand against Chris's slack fingers, Chris could feel the touch of his father's warm skin, no doubt emitting his golden glow. He couldn't remember the last time his father had voluntarily touched him.
They were all touching him and it was too much. He felt like he had a thousand ants running underneath his skin. In the future people were dying. Chris was supposed to fix it. Instead he was stuck on this awkward, heart breaking rollercoaster ride with the Charmed Ones.
Screw this, he needed to act.
Before even fully opening his eyes, he dissolved into swirling beautiful blue, and re-formed on the other side of the attic, crouched low, eyes panicked. His magical energy was still depleted, rocky and wavering, but orbing was his first power gained and his last to leave. The certainty that he was no longer held hostage was freeing and with it, he straightened.
They were still staring, all of them, and the weight of their silent expectations was thick and cloying. Chris glanced at the door, at the ceiling, anywhere but at the faces of his not-family.
"Chris," Piper began, hands held out in front of her, placating. Her voice was calm, her motions smooth, as if she was trying to calm a wild animal.
With a sharp jerk of his hand, he halted her movement. "Stop," Chris bit out, "just stop."
"Okay," Piper murmured, instantly freezing, now just a few feet in front of her sisters and Leo. Chris felt cornered, he almost bared his teeth, subconsciously wanting to show her how feral he could be, but he clamped down on his anxiety driven impulses and focused on the mission.
The mission.
Remembering the mission had kept him alive more times that he cared to count. It would work now too, it had to. The world depended on the sanctity and the success of the mission.
"Look, ahhh," Chris ran a hand agitatedly though his hair, pulling on the messy brown strands, while he searched for the words. "Nothing's changed okay, I'm still here to save Wyatt, and I still can't tell you about the future."
"Baby…" Piper's voice trailed off at the shattered look Chris threw her way at her words. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Chris, everything's changed. We're so sorry that we mistreated you. We want to make it right."
"We want to help," put in Phoebe.
"We still need to know the truth," added Paige.
"But, only so we can help you," finished Leo.
"No," murmured Chris. He could feel the burning in his eyes and throat, signifying tears. That was the opposite of what he needed right now, only they just keep staring at him. "No," he repeated more forcibly. "Nothing has changed. I will save Wyatt, with or without your help. And then you won't have to deal with me ever again."
Piper felt her cheeks heat rapidly with the culmination of her shame. Chris's words were taken verbatim from what she has screamed at him the other day. She almost didn't hear Leo speak, so focused was she on Chris's shuttered gaze.
"Save Wyatt from what, Chris? What happens in the future that's so terrible? What hurts our boys, Chris?" With each word Leo's voice grew more and more desperate and Piper understood because it was a desperation she shared; a parent's worst fear, an inability to save her children. Still, she turned and elbowed Leo sharply in the gut. He didn't weather the storm with Chris; he didn't see the extent and depth of his pain.
"Leo shouldn't push him," murmured Phoebe.
"He looks ready to bolt, "confirmed Paige.
"What hurts your boys," Chris asked his voice cracking with incredulity. "Wyatt hurts your boys. Your darling angel hurts the world. He rips it apart, piece by piece. He crumbles it under his feet, and he laughs while the world weeps." Chris sucked in huge lungful's of gaping stinging breath. Across from him, Leo and the sisters sputtered weak denials. Only Piper stood strong and met his gaze.
"This is why I can't tell you about the future. You don't need to know what happens, no one will ever need to know if I can just fix it."
"Chris," choked out Leo, seemingly deflating with each passing second. His elder robes looked wilted and his face a pale greenish gray. He turned to Piper, "not Wyatt, not our baby."
"Why not, I'm your son too, and you were ready to condemn me. I didn't even get the luxury of a trial."
"Well, you have to admit, a lot of your actions could be misconstrued, Chris. Why didn't you just tell us the truth?" Leo was grasping at straws, blinded in his grief at the thought of an evil Wyatt. He didn't see Chris flinch, but Piper did.
Why would you ever believe me," screamed Chris. "You never back me up." All of his control was fracturing and breaking around him, tattered and ripped. He was left flailing. "My whole life, you've never been there when I needed you." Struggling to re-orient, he again straightened and drew in a ragged breath. "We have to focus on the mission."
"Okay, Chris," soothed Piper. "Just tell us what you need us to do."
He looked at Piper in surprise, his expression guarded. She knew it was a make it or break it type of moment, she'd already lost too many chances with Chris, chances she didn't even know existed. Piper couldn't afford to screw this one up.
"Phoebe get a pen and paper. We're going to make a list. Paige, grab the book, let's move this party downstairs." Piper felt better already, getting things organized. Chris was still watching her with wide and wary eyes. "Let's sit downstairs and discuss your plan Chris. No more questions, no more talk of the future. We'll make a battle plan, and we'll save Wyatt; together.
"Ummmm, okay." Chris seemed unsure of how to react around this new Piper. This was his mother in battle mode. He found himself complying, just out of habit. He almost smiled as he saw Leo fall in line as well.
Piper did smile. She wanted to try and get some food into Chris. He was too skinny. Then maybe they could all focus on saving the world. And she could save Chris too.
AN II: Please review. I struggled to find Chris's voice, I found myself falling back into Piper. Thanks for reading.