The sound of thunder and the flash of lightning meet your senses as you walk slowly up the dirt path and through an iron gate. Rain pours down upon you, soaking you to the bone. With another blinding flash a giant gothic castle is illuminated at the top of the path ahead of you. It has turrets and gargoyles and spires and is the most terrifying thing you've ever seen.
Dave: this movie is so lame all the effects look like they were made by a couple of two year olds
Karkat: SHUT UP, THIS IS WHEN SHE SEES THE GUY FOR THE FIRST TIME
John: you do realize that she ends up dying right?
Karkat: WHAT, NO THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ROMANCE
John: it is, which make it sadder when the girl dies at the end.
Vriska: Can you guys all shut up, I can't even hear the m8vie anymore!
Latte: *Casually pauses movie* As riveting as this entertainment is...
Tapioca: We have a lot to do, so maybe you would consider taking a break so we can get some work done?
All: *Sigh loudly*
Latte: Don't be like that! We've got a lovely set of new dares from the equally lovely toxicMonochrome!
Tapioca: On second thought you should really just let me do complementing.
Latte: Why? I thought that was good!
Tapioca: Honey, you've got a long way to go.
Latte: What's that supposed to mean!
Tapioca: So here's the next set of dares!
THERE-ff why you mess up name?Anyway,here's more trauma!
Karkat:Go on ANY anime website and praise 4Kids.
Dave:What do think of HS albums sick beats?
Everyone with glasses:Trade them with someone else's glasses.
Trolls:Somehow trade horns.
Gamzee:Put sopor slime in everone's food.
Authoresses(?):Kiss EridanB)
Latte: Yay! Look we got a dare too!
Tapioca: I don't know whether to be happy, or scared.
Latte: Well first things first, Karkat! *Whispers to Tapioca* So I looked this up on wiki and apparently it's some kind of anime dubbing production company that went bankrupt in 2011 and was filed with a lawsuit for like racism or something.
Tapioca: Oh, okay. Sooooooooo KK here just has to watch an anime dubbed by them and... praise it...?
Latte: I guess *shrugs*
Karkat: WHAT SORT OF MENTALLY RETARDED THING ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME DO NOW?
Tapioca: Oh just relax, all you have to do is watch this *pulls up pokemon on computer* And say something nice about it!
Karkat: OH WELL THAT'S REALLY FUCKING SIMPLE. SO WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL?
Latte: Then just praise it anyway.
Pokemon plays and you're not really sure what you think of it but that isn't the point. The point was what Karkat thought of it. The ending theme song plays and everyone turns to Karkat, waiting.
Karkat: THAT WAS ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. OH LETS ALL FIGHT BATTLES WITH LITTLE ANIMALS AND THEN IT WILL SURPRISE US WHEN THEY DON'T LIKE US OR FOLLOW OUR ORDERS. COME ON HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT DO YOU EVEN NEED TO BE TO LIKE A SHOW LIKE THIS.
Tapioca: That's all fine and dandy Karkat, but you need to praise it.
Karkat: SCREW THAT *He stomps off*
A few moments later you can hear him humming the theme song quietly to himself.
Latte: I guess that sort of counts.
Tapioca: Sure.
Latte: Dave!
Dave: sup
Tapioca: We have a question for you!
Latte: And don't worry because it's not even weird or creepy.
Dave: well thats new
Tapioca: Really? Anyway the question!
Latte: What do you think of Homestuck's 'Sick Beats?'
Dave: homestuck? is this like a trick question or something?
Tapioca: I suppose we forgot to consider that you wouldn't know what that was...
Latte: Oh, no matter! I'll just play some on this stereo here. *Colours and Mayhem proceeds to play on a giant stereo system*
A few songs later...
Tapioca: So what do you think?
Dave: its pretty rad *he shrugs* i could do better
Latte: What did you expect from the cool kid?
Tapioca: Just that.
Latte: Well don't go anywhere, we need you for this next dare!
Dave: great two in a row
Tapioca: *Grabs megaphone* WOULD ANYONE IN THE POSSESSION OF GLASSES PLEASE REPORT!
Latte: Don't you mean 'with the possession of glasses'? What you said made it sound like they were being possessed by glasses...
Tapioca: You never know.
All with glasses report somewhat less than promptly. These being John, Eridan, Sollux, Terezi, Vriska, Jane, Jake, Dirk, and Aranea.
Latte: I think that's everyone...
Tapioca: So now if you would all just stand in a circle.
The characters proceed into a circle.
Latte: Great now just trade glasses with the person on your left!
Kids and trolls alike grumble, but do it anyway. The Striders in particular have a very hard time parting with their shades, but in the end they just go along with it because it's easier that way. The order goes something like this;
John puts on Dirk's Glasses
Eridan puts on John's glasses
Sollux puts on Jane's glasses
Terezi puts on on Jake's glasses
Vriska puts on Dave's glasses
Jane puts on Terezi's glasses
Jake puts on Aranea's glasses
Dirk puts on Vriska's glasses
Aranea puts on Sollux's glasses
Dave puts on Eridan's glasses
John: am I anime yet?
Dirk: Not even close, little Jake dude.
Dave: jegus how do you even see with these things
Eridan: wwell excuse you those glasses are fuckin priceless
Meenah: scuze you all waterboat the rest of us finer fish dwellers
Feferi: Y-EA) (! Why aren't we inkluded in this shell-dig?
Tapioca: Um...because goggles don't count?
Meenah: you lame or somefin? *Holds up trident menacingly*
Latte: Well, moving right along to the next dare...
Tapioca: So I think we'll need some sopor slime in the food...wait where is the miracle man anyway?
Latte: Dunno, kinda lost track of everyone without glasses.
Jane: Come along chums, it's dinner time!
Tapioca: What time is it anyway? Do we even have any time in this anti-reality alternate dimension?
Latte: I guess. We sort of don't have any setting, as far as the readers know we're floating around in white space without distinct appearances.
Jane: Hurrrrry up! The spaghetti will get cold!
Latte: Whatever, dinner now, dare later.
Tapioca: Yes! I love spaghetti!
While the charming wayward group sits down to a delight
ful meal and cheerful banter fills the air, you can not help but notice a figure laughing a little too heartily to himself. Also, is it just you, or is that pasta looking rather green?
Kanaya: I Don't Believe I've Ever Had A Meal That Engaging
Rose: The linguine was especially charismatic wouldn't you agree Dave?
Tapioca: I'm not Dave...wait am I?
Latte: Are you?
Sollux: my...hand2...where are my hand2...
Nepeta: *ac...ac is f33line furry funny...inside her think-paw*
Gamzee: (o:
Terezi: DON'T WORRY GUYS 1'LL UNFR33Z3 YOU 4LL! MR. V4N1LL4 M1LKSH4K3 WON'T G3T 4W4Y W1TH TURN1NG YOU 1NTO POPS1CL3S! *promptly begins to lick everyone*
Jake: Gadzooks! Where in the devil are we? Though i suspected this might come to pass...*strikes dramatic pose*
Roxy: Suddenly I feel really normal. What the actual fuck.
Aradia: best
Equius: Really I can't 100k. It's just so obscene. *Covers eyes with a nearby towel.*
Aradia: c0rpse
Karkat: GET OFF ME SOLLUX I DON'T HAVE YOUR HANDS! *sobbing*
Aradia: party
Tavros: yOU, yOU KNOW WHAT? i THINK YOU ARE ALL DUMB HOOFBEAST BACKSIDES,, hAHA yEAH,, tHATS WHAT i WOULD SAY IF THEY WERE ALL HERE,
Aradia: EVER!
Tapioca: God my head hurts.
Latte: Who...who turned out the lights.
Gamzee: (o;
Hours later the crew has boiled down and memory begins to flood in...for most people anyway.
Tapioca: mmgghg...gurgle...dares...gurgle...
Latte: asdfghjkl...wait dares...We have dares to finish!
Tapioca: Right...com'ere fishy boy. *Grabs Eridan by the cape and gives him a happy smooch. Also she drools disgustingly.*
Eridan: hands off the cape you landwweller! wwait wwhat are you-oh cod no, stop it i am orderin you!
Tapioca: Yeah, your turn. *passes him to Latte*
Latte: Wasn't there something else we had to...oh whatever. *Pecks the seadweller on the cheek and sets him down again.*
Eridan: don't do that again i am wwarnin' you now!
The Authoresses have just enough time to bid you a woozy farewell before they pass out sending the fourth wall crashing down around you.