The Body - Chapter 7.

(Several years later.)

"John?"

"Mmmph."

"John, are you awake?"

"'Mnot."

"Yes, you are. John, I have something special for you. For your birthday."

John opened one eye and peered at him suspiciously. "What kind of special? Does it involve body parts?"

"Only yours and mine." Sherlock reached around John's back and pulled so that he rolled towards Sherlock, putting their bodies flush against one another.

"Mmmm," John murmured a happy noise. "That kind of special. I would have thought you'd be worn out after celebrating our wedding anniversary."

"That was a month ago."

"Yes, I know. I thought after the first few anniversaries the novelty would wear off, but I still like celebrating the whole week of the honeymoon as well."

"Focus please, John. Birthday. Something special?"

"Oh yes. Umm, activity or object?"

"Object."

"External or internal use?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "John, that is against the rules. That is not a yes-or-no question."

"All right, all right. Sheesh, you'd think on my birthday you could cut me some slack on the deduction stuff!"

"I could."

"But you're not going to?"

"No."

"Right, then. Is this object for internal use?"

"No."

"Is it clothing of some kind?"

Sherlock hesitated before finally answering "Yes."

John quirked one eyebrow. "Only clothing in the broadest sense then? Interesting. Is it a costume?"

"No."

"Jewelry?"

"No."

"Watch?"

"No, you already have a very nice one of those."

"Yeah, but I'm running out of ideas."

"Clothing John, think about clothing. Bear in mind that it might not be for you to wear, yourself."

"Oh, really? Is it something for you to wear for me?"

"Yes."

John licked his lips, his eyes opening wide with interest and hope. This deduction was turning out to be one of his favourite kinds. "Is it made of lace?"

"Yes."

"Black lace?"

"Yes."

"Mmm," John rolled flat on his back again, closing his eyes.

"John? Aren't you going to keep deducing?"

"Nope. I'm just going to lie here for a moment and imagine the possibilities. You and black lace…" suddenly John's eyes popped open. "But how many hours do I have left? Our anniversary celebrations last month must have used up most of my credit." John wrinkled up his nose as he tried to do mental arithmetic with a naked Sherlock in his bed in front of him.

"Oh, don't worry about it. You have plenty."

John frowned. Imprecision was unusual in his husband. "How many hours do you owe me right now? I remember I was in front by quite a lot after that bloody ship's rope experiment - you gave me double time to make up for the friction burns, you remember. They took days to heal."

"Yes, John, I remember. I told you not to move around so much. The thickness of those ropes and the coarseness of the fibres…" Sherlock broke off at John's gesture of impatience. "You have, um… three hundred and six point five hours. There, that's plenty. Get back to deducing your present so I can show it to you."

Sherlock tried to distract John with butterfly kisses all over his face.

"Three six five? That sounds like a familiar number. Did you just pull it out of the air?"

Sherlock's eyes opened widely in his best look of injured innocence. "No, why would you think that?"

"That look. You're doing that look. That's it, I'm going to find the whiteboard. I know it's around here somewhere."

"It's up in the evidence room. But it doesn't have your tally marks on it any more."
"What?! Why not?"

"We used the white board to reconstruct the drawings in 'The Case of the Dancing Men', remember? The case was over six months ago but you only wrote it up on your blog last month so I hope even in your cluttered little mind you should be able to find it."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Well, at the time I figured you would keep mental track of the hours you owe me in that enormous Mind Palace of yours and I could just ask you if I wanted to know."

"Well, yes, ordinarily you could."

John raised one eyebrow, "Ordinarily? Are you telling me you lost something in your Mind Palace?"

"Nooo, not exactly." Sherlock looked away to one side, avoiding John's gaze. He sighed, then admitted, "The Mind Palace doesn't automatically update itself, it only preserves information. If I don't update something then it just keeps whatever I stored there last. I haven't updated that file for… Anyway, I thought you would be keeping track! They are your hours, after all."

John's look of surprise dissolved into giggles as he flopped over on his back, breaking into open laughter. "Well, I guess that answers the question of when we can stop counting the hours we owe each other then! If neither of us has been bothering to keep track, then I guess we don't need it."

Sherlock shrugged his agreement. "Shall I go get your birthday present then?"

John slapped his rump as Sherlock turned, "You can wear the garter belt and stockings on your way back, you gorgeous thing. I want to admire you in them while I have a nice slow wank. That's my idea of a birthday present!"

Sherlock sniffed as he left the room, feigning disinterest in the thought.

"I heard that!" John called out, "Don't bother to pretend you don't love it, you vain man. I'll give you two minutes to get your outfit on and get back here or else I'll make sure to splash a drop on you when I come!" The warm laugh that followed this threat made it clear that John was teasing. Nevertheless, Sherlock hurried to get dressed up and get back to his love, his lover, his husband and perfect partner. He murmured to himself in wonder, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

"I'm the improbable one, then," answered John, "Because you are the impossible one in this marriage!"

"Very improbable, John. But you're my improbable one. I could never have deduced your existence."

"You're lucky I love you just as you are, you impossible man."

"Just as I am? In black lace garters and stockings and with an extra hand defrosting in the bathtub?"

"Sherlock!"

The End

A/N: Thanks everyone for following along with this story! It started out just as an exercise in smut, but developed into a learning exercise for me about asexuality and different types of relationships. Hope you have found it an interesting journey as well! Happy New Year! And, as always, comments and reviews are appreciated!