Chapter 7: Coffee

Inside the flat, Donna kicked off her shoes and slipped on her slippers. She went into the kitchen to make the coffee, giving her a moment to recuperate, while Harvey made himself comfortable in the living room.

So, now, finally, after 13 years, this was happening! Harvey had told her he loved her. The 'more' she had secretly always hoped for from him was there for her to grab. Or was it? How serious was he? He was the biggest commitment-phobe on the planet, could more than 20 years of commitment phobia really be cured overnight? Harvey's relationship track record wasn't exactly stellar, but neither was hers, she had to admit in all honesty. With Harvey, it was different, though. She'd been disappointed and she'd caused disappointment, but with Harvey, If things didn't work out, if he broke her heart, she feared she'd never survive it. And if they broke up, that would mean the end of their friendship, she was sure of it. Could she really take the plunge with him? Yes, there was chemistry between them, they were close, they respected each other, they loved each other… but was it enough? Could they do the daily grind thing together? Maybe their relationship up till now had only worked precisely because they were not a couple! Maybe getting together would spoil all they had? Maybe…

Her thoughts were interrupted by Harvey.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked and she almost jumped as she looked to him, leaning against her fridge.

"I… er… I… just… making coffee," she stammered.

"Oh. Right. It was taking so long I was starting to wonder whether you had to go to South America yourself to get the coffee beans…"

Donna gave a little laugh, regaining her composure.

"Har-de-har, Harvey… Almost done."

"Good," he smiled at her.

"Good," she smiled back.

"You do realize I want to kiss you right now, coffee be damned?"

"Harvey…" she said in her best warning tone of voice.

He held up his hands in capitulation, but did move closer.

"Can I help?" he asked.

She pointed to the cookie jar. "You can bring that," she said.

He went to the living room, cookie jar in hand, and she followed with the coffee. They set it down on the coffee table and he turned to face her.

"Donna…" he started but she immediately interrupted him.

"Harvey, I'm not sure this is a good idea…"

"Are you chickening out on me?" he asked incredulously. "After all we've been through, and that kiss, and you telling me you love me as more than just a friend?"

"Harvey…"

"No, I know I haven't stepped up to the plate before. I remember all those times when you accused me of not stepping up to the plate for the women in my life, only fighting for cases and never for love, and you were right! But I'm doing it now. For you. And only you. For the very first time ever, I don't care if I make a fool of myself. I love you, Donna, and I want to be with you… I'm all in…"

"You've never been able to do that before, what makes now so different from all the other times?"

"You, Donna. You are different. You and I have been through thick and thin together. You know all my shit and I have been an ass to you often and yet you still are here, you still stand by me. Even when you worked for Louis and I thought you had abandoned me… I realize now that I was the one who had abandoned you! My heart has always felt safe in your hands and I want it to remain there. The question is does your heart feel safe with me? Because I think it should. There is no person on this earth I care for more than you, no person I would rather fight for than you! When I said earlier that I wanted to apologize, I wanted to apologize for abandoning you and I promise I will never do that again."

"How do you know that? How do you know you won't abandon me at some point?"

"Because now, I know myself. Because we've basically been together for 13 years and I still want to fight for you. This is me fighting for you, Donna, for your love, for our love! This is me baring my heart and soul, something I would never have thought I'd ever be capable of. But I can do it. For you. I want us to finally happen, Donna. Don't you?"

He looked almost wild after this impassioned speech and Donna felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't know how to trust it, Harvey," she said softly. "I… I do want us to happen. But… I mean, why now? What made you realize this stuff now?"

"I think being with Paula was probably more about therapy, in a way, than about being together. She questioned me and made me see things and helped me admit things to myself I had never dared admit before. I will forever be grateful to her for that. She helped me see that it can be OK to be vulnerable and through her I realized that it is you I want in my life."

Donna let out a long breath and Harvey took a step towards her, standing very close to her now. They looked at each other in silence, neither quite knowing what move to make next.

Processing all he had said, Donna finally half whispered, "I'm scared, Harvey. I'm so scared…"

He then pulled her into his arms and held her close, one hand around her back, the other holding the back of her head to his shoulder.

"I'm scared too, Donna," he murmured in her ear, "But I think I'm even more scared of not being with you."

Donna took in a few deep breaths. This really was happening.

She eventually leaned back and gently took Harvey's face in her hands, his hands still loosely resting on her hips. He looked as tortured as she felt. She studied him for a few long moments and saw that at last his fences really were down! She knew every Harvey-look, she had seen glimpses of the fences-down look before, but he had always run away or quickly masked it, once he'd shown her those glimpses. Now it was more than a glimpse, it was a whole damned open window! He was raw and vulnerable and he remained so, as he allowed her to study him. She had shed so many tears of late, and this moment was no exception, as the truth of this situation hit her. Yet again she felt the tears gathering in her eyes and Harvey's eyes weren't quite dry either.

"You will be the death of me, Harvey Specter," she finally said softly.

He slowly started to smile. "Does that mean I have closed this deal as well? My most difficult case ever?"

"I love you," she added simply, not rising to the banter but wanting to show him her vulnerability as well. She pulled his face down towards hers as she languidly kissed his lips. He didn't hesitate to respond and quickly deepened the kiss, tightening his hold on her again.

When they broke apart for a moment to catch some air, Donna whispered, "Is this really happening?"

Harvey, relieved and elated, laughed and lifted her so that her feet were no longer touching the floor. She could hardly breathe for his tight grip, but she didn't care.

"This really is happening," Harvey grinned as he set her back down again and kissed her again. It took a little while for them to stop kissing for a few moments.

"I'll just tell Ray he can go on home now, if that's OK with you?" Harvey finally said, huskily.

Donna grinned. "That's OK with me."

The warmth when he looked at her, the happy relaxation in his features, the crinkles at the sides of his eyes as he widely smiled at her, warmed her heart. She kissed his jaw and nibbled his ear as he made the call, and after that nothing could stop them. Their kisses deepened and before she knew it, Donna was playing with Harvey's tie and loosening it. They eventually left a trail of clothing on the way to Donna's bedroom…

"No whipped cream this time?" he breathed into her ear, crawling over her as they tumbled onto her bed.

"Not as prepared for your company this time around as I was the other time…" Donna managed to squeak.

"We may need to go shopping later, then…" Harvey grinned before completely ravishing her.

Even though it was the middle of the day, they both managed to fall asleep after two rounds of lovemaking.

Donna was the first to wake up. She sat up and looked down at a very peaceful, slumbering Harvey. That man certainly knew his way around her body extremely well, she thought with a smile; he was very skilled at knowing what she liked. Had he remembered from that other time they had been together years ago?

Donna got up and walked to the living room. It was quite a mess, with clothes strewn all over. She picked up Harvey's crisp white shirt, held it to her face to smell it and then put it on. She piled all the clothes on one armchair and cleared the coffee cups with the coffee that had gone cold. She brewed two new cups and with them in hand, walked over to her bedroom again.

Harvey was awake and smiling at her.

"You look so very good in my shirt," he smiled.

She smiled back. "It's a good shirt… Here, I made you a cup of coffee."

She sat down on the edge of the bed next to him and handed him his cup. His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her and they both took their sips. They put their cups down on the night stand and Harvey angled his body towards Donna again.

"That's the best cup of coffee I've ever had," he said gently, gazing at her intently.

"It certainly was worth the wait," Donna smiled.

Harvey's smile broke widely as he said, "I knew you'd say that."

He then leaned in, gently brushed a strand of her hair to the side and kissed her.

"How did you know I'd say that?" she asked as they brushed their noses against each other.

"I have literally dreamt of a moment such as this," he smiled and then he kissed her again.

He pulled her to him in the bed and they snuggled together, her head resting on his chest while he played with strands of her hair.

"So, what does this mean for your rule? We can still work together, can't we?" he asked softly, kissing her head.

"I'm not your secretary anymore, so yes, I think we can swing that."

She turned to look up at him and they were lost in more kisses.

"This feels so… right," Donna eventually murmured against Harvey's lips.

"It does. Like we're already an old married couple who are still in love…" he answered.

She smiled against his lips and they kissed some more.

"…and in time I think we should make it official," he murmured.

Donna pulled away and propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at her lover.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"It feels like we're married already, I'm just saying we should formalize it at some point…"

Donna started grinning.

"Harvey Specter, are you proposing to me already after only being together for, what, 4 hours?"

"Donna Paulsen, we've been together for 13 years… and 4 hours. I'd say it's about time I did something definitive before I risk losing you."

"You won't lose me," Donna smiled.

"I think I know that," Harvey smiled back and pulled her down again so that he could kiss her thoroughly all over again…

THE END