'Cause I love me
I love me enough for the both of us
That's why you trust me
I know you been through more than most of us
.x.
When Olivia awoke in the middle of the night to an empty bed, she immediately grabbed her gun off the nightstand. The covers had been made up on Amanda's side, and although that calmed her some, she still did not want to take any precautions. Pulling her jeans on as silently as she could, she made her way to the closed bedroom door. She did not want to think that Justin could have gotten to Amanda overnight, but her worry left her no other choice.
"Woah, no need for a gun." Amanda said defensively as she watched Olivia round the corner. Olivia left out a sigh of relief and happiness. The brunette placed her gun on the table and accepted the cup of tea Amanda handed her.
"I um," The younger woman stopped and cleared her throat. "Cragen called me. He said that he might send Fin and Amaro to Jersey to find Mila."
Olivia placed her tea on the counter. "Amanda, I know you think Mila's a good person but-"
"She's has a lot of things Pierson could use against her, Liv!" Amanda started to explain. "Her reputation, her daughter, her father for Christ Sake!"
"What does her father have to do with any of this?" Olivia asked, hoping it would help their case.
"A freakin' ambassador for Vietnam." Amanda answered. "And if you look at her daughter's age, and the time Justin assaulted her…" She trailed off, as she saw Olivia's mouth hang slightly ajar as she put together the pieces for herself.
"Amanda, we can't be sure." She pulled out her cellphone to call Cragen. "But it's worth looking into."
.x.
After Olivia had finished her phone call to Cragen, she reentered Amanda's living to find the blonde sitting on the couch. Knees pulled up to her chest and hands clutching onto a green coffee mug filled with tea, the younger woman looked like hell. Olivia cautiously moved over to Amanda. Amanda could be millions of miles away in her mind. Olivia did not want to frighten her back out.
"Amanda," she moved closer to the couch. "Are you okay?"
"I just don't understand." Amanda said shaking her head.
Olivia sat down next Amanda. "Understand what?"
"I don't understand why he would come after me. I mean, he didn't go to jail. I never testified against him. I don't have anything to lose." A tear slid down her cheek. "I just don't get it."
Amanda," Olivia placed her hand on Amanda's shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better, I gave up trying to understand those sick bastards a long time ago."
The blonde reflected a small smile and a tiny laugh as she sniffed back more tears. "No matter how shitty I feel, I think your smart mouth and humor will get me through." She placed her now empty tea mug on the coffee table and let out a yawn.
"That's good to know." Benson smirked. She noticed the swell of heaviness on Amanda's eyelids. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"
"I think it'd be best. Nick might start to play 20 questions with me tomorrow." joked Amanda as she stood up from her seat. Olivia followed suit.
"You know you don't have to go in tomorrow, right?"
Amanda sighed. She looked towards Olivia. "I know, but he is not going to have that control over me."
The brunette simply nodded. Olivia picked up the mugs and placed them in the sink to soak before she followed Amanda back into the bedroom. She proceeded to remove her jeans again. The coolness satin sheets looked extremely inviting. She crawled in next to Amanda. The two stared at each other in the darkness. Only one long strip of moonlight illuminating the bedroom. The senior detective grabbed hold of Amanda's hand.
"You are going to be okay, 'Manda." Olivia promised in a whisper. She stroked Amanda's palm with her thumb slowly. A few seconds went by before she added:
"Okay?"
Hearing this in the darkness, Amanda took a few more minutes to come up with a reply, as there was so much she wanted to get off her chest. Finally, she breathed out a soft reply:
"Okay."
.x.
"I want this son of a bitch and I want him now." said Fin bitterly.
Olivia simply looked up from her file on Pierson and glanced at the older man with an understanding look. It was a little past 8 am, which left the precinct to be sparsely occupied. A few other detectives worked a case on the other side of the bullpen, and uni's busied themselves with domestic dispute calls. It was eerily the same precinct, even though half of the people there already knew about Sato & Pierson. Amanda changed her mind that morning and opted to stay home. Olivia did not argue, just nodded. As of late, the brunette's words had become very limited.
"Did you find anything on Mila's daughter?" Nick asked out of the blue. He was eyeing the same folder Olivia and Fin were.
"I did." Fin answered quickly. "Cassandra Sato. Cute kid. She was born July 24th 2011. If you match up the timeline from the assault, you'll see Cassandra was born about 9 months later. So there is a good possibly that's Pierson's kid."
Cragen emerged from his office. His eyes were heavy, showing he hadn't gotten much sleep that night. Nevertheless, he was here trying to get justice for Amanda and Olivia could only be grateful for that.
"That was Jersey PD. That tracked down Mila and they're holding her now. As far as Pierson goes," He sighs and his eyes find Olivia's worried ones. "Relatives say they last heard he's headed for New York."
"Are you sure Amanda's safe by herself?" Amaro asked.
"She's on 24/7 protection. There are cops outside her apartment door and on the street. She should be fine." Olivia nodded, as if trying to convince herself of Amanda's safety.
Cragen didn't seem convinced of his youngest detective's welfare.
"'Should be' and 'is' are two different things." The older man sighed. "Benson, I want you to go check on Amanda." The brunette opened her mouth to argue. Not because she didn't want to, but because she knew Amanda wouldn't like someone thinking she couldn't take care of herself.
"That's an order." Cragen said. "Fin, Amaro. Head up to Jersey and see what you can find out about Pierson."
.x.
Amanda Rollins did not like being seen as broken, vulnerable, damaged, incompetent or scared. Even though nine times out of ten, she was acting in such a manner. After she watched and made sure Olivia had fallen asleep, she slipped out of the bed and found herself on her balcony. The New York night sky was not filled with stars, like she had become familiar with in Georgia. Instead, she saw endless skyscrapers and buildings. She was eerily calm with the thought that Pierson could be in any of those buildings. She thought about the looks of pity she might she from Fin and Amaro. She did not need their pity, just normalcy. She found herself staying out there on that balcony, watching the sunrise.
A soft knock pulled Amanda out her memory. Not taking any chances, she grabbed her gun off the kitchen counter and edged out of her living room into the foyer.
Carefully with fumbling fingers, she un-did the lock on her door. Her eyes widened with terror as she noticed who was on the other side.
"It's so nice to see you again, Amanda." He said smiling at her.
A/N: Long time no see! Sorry for updating other stories and kinda leaving you guys hanging. But there it is. And sorry for leaving it like that, I had no choice :)
Anyway, what has (and still is) been wrong with me these past few weeks, is that I had to come out to my entire CATHOLIC family. Well, my sister was the one who told them (and I fucking hate her guts for it), but I was having issues with my sexuality prior to that. But thankfully, I am now openly gay and even though my dad has kinda stopped talking to me, everything is back to normal now in my life.