The branches whipped by with brutal force, but I kept walking forward.
It's so Typical! I thought to myself, pushing aside a branch that snapped under the pressure. How can I expect much more from anyone?! What do they see but a blind girl, helpless and useless!
The trees crashed and cracked loudly around me, until I must have stood in a clearing. I continued forward, using my stick to feel in front of me. A rock collided with the end of my stick and I gratefully sat down on top of it.
Now that I wasn't running around in a blind rage I had the chance to review my actions. They suddenly didn't seem like the most rational.
Stalking off alone when I have barely lived outside the protection of the village. Plus my actions portrayed a child having a fit more than the actions of a grown woman.
But you're not a grown women, a voiced nagged in my head. You are but a girl of 16 years, barely enough to be considered a life fully lived.
I have been through far more than others my age, I scolded the voice.
Most girls your age have families and several children by now, the voice said back.
"I am not like most girls." I said aloud, still answering the voice in my head but needing to fill the silence that surrounded me in the clearing.
"Well, I could have easily told you that. I would hope that there weren't too many of you or else women would be running the pack." Kouga stepped from the trees that I had just exited, silently approaching.
"If you had the wits to pay attention you would notice that your pack is being run by the women. The men are just too proud to notice." I snapped back. "Besides that, what are you doing here?"
"Well, you kinda left alone, and I figured you could use some company. Talking usually helps to express your feelings better."
"And who says I have feelings that need to be expressed?" I asked him, leaning my head in his direction with a sad smile. "Come, sit. I am sure there is room for two in this clearing."
His footsteps were now audible as he approached my seat. He folded down on the grass a few feet from my rock.
We both remained silent, him taking in the clearing around us and me enjoying the warmth of the sun that grazed through the branches of the trees overhead.
"So, why are you really out here?" I asked lazily, leaning back on my elbows along my sitting rock.
"Truthfully?" I nodded. "Because Kagome yelled at me to." I laughed, a happy sound that came back at me from the surrounding trees.
"Also, because I felt guilty. You know, for yelling at you before?"
"That? I wouldn't call yelling. I would have called it something like, establishing the alpha?" I looked over at him, imagining his expression of confusion and burst out into a fit of giggles.
"Establishing an alpha? What do you take me for? A mindless dog?"
"Yes." I said, turning around on the rock so my back was to him.
"You really are quiet strange." He said, a tone of awe in his voice.
"And you have figured this out simply by our conversation now and earlier?" I asked over my shoulder. "Do you forest people have this thing about judging ones character by just having a conversation?"
"How so?"
"Well Kagome was easily able to gauge what kind of personality I had very quickly after I had met up with her a second time."
"You are different, though." He was suddenly very close. He seemed to hover over my head, but inches away. "I was able to grasp what kind of person you are, yes, but I have no idea of what or who you are. You are like a puzzle I want to solve." He braced his arms on either side of me, surrounding me. "Will you let me?"
"H-how?" I stammered, pulling back on my elbows to escape his closeness.
"Come with me," He whispered, leaning closer. "Come with me back to my pack. You will be accepted as my mate, honored in fact, as the alpha female and we can be together always. I can help you."
"Help me how?" I gasped, pulling farther back until I was flat on my back against the rock.
"Help you to see. I can have my men be your eyes. You will never be alone or in danger. I'll be there to protect you. Let me protect you." He leaned down closer, as his breath became warmer on my face from the shortened distance. "Will you?"
"No."
I wedged my foot between the two of us and pushed off, hard. He leapt back a few feet and froze where he landed.
"What's wrong?" He asked, hurt straining in his voice.
"I can't do this." I mumbled, scrambling up off the rock and combing the grass for my stick.
"Can't do what? What is 'this'?"
"'This' is you!" I waved my stick in the air for emphasis. "You are just like all of the men I have ever met! What do you see when you look at me? What do you look at other than my eyes and think about the fact that I can never gaze upon the world the way you do?"
"No, that's not what I-"
"Right!" I barked out a laugh. "I can practically smell the lie on you. And let me tell you, you do not have a pleasant odor to begin with."
"Akime, stop this! You're not listening-"
"You're right! I'm not. Not when I've heard what you have to say so many times already."
"What if I'm different?" He begged, placing his hand on my arm and slowly turning me to face him. "What if I don't see anything but someone who I want to be with?" He slowly ran his other hand along my cheek, gently tucking the loose hairs behind my ear. "Won't you at least give me a chance?"
Slowly, I lifted my hand up to his and rested my palm against his hand.
"No."
I invaded his mind, rushing through at such a speed that he was overwhelmed. He collapsed without a sound and I gently placed him against my sitting rock. He was finally peaceful when I pulled away and brushed a gentle hand through his soft hair. "It's not really you." I whispered into his ear. "It's me. I know it sounds over said but it's true. I'm just not ready for another heart break. Tell Kagome I said good-bye." I said it verbally but had left the message in his head so he would remember what he hadn't heard.
I turned, from Kouga, Kagome and the others and walked in the opposite direction, ducking under a tree limb and starting anew in the forest.