Note from the lovely Lady opungo: I had alot of fun writing this chapter. Very entertaining to me. So enjoy it and thanks to all my readers and reviewers!

I'm telling you Prongs, Harry is DEFINETLY trying to steal Lily from you!

And I'm telling you Padfoot, you have DEFINETLY gone mad!

She hardly talked to you the whole time we were in the Three Broomsticks!

Not true, Moony. She did talk to me and whenever she was talking with Harry, he was trying to get her to talk to me. He kept on turning the conversation towards me.

He is more cunning and evil then we thought! Trying to turn the conversation towards you must've just been a diversion to hide his real tactics from us!

He isn't cunning or evil!

You'll see the error of your ways! I've been given permission to snoop!

By who? Oh, no. PLEASE tell me you didn't give him permission, Moony!

I didn't give him permission.

You're lying.

…So?

Guys, I'm telling you, Harry is not trying to steal Lily from me! He was honestly trying to get Lily to stop talking to him and talk to me instead! Lily was just being Lily and being nice to the new kid. He wasn't trying to steal Lily!

See Padfoot? There was nothing to be suspicious about. You really need to stop being so paranoid of poor innocent Harry.

WHAT? I AM NOT BEING PARANOID! YOU ARE BEING PARANOID! I STARTED BEING PARANOID AFTER YOU STARTED BEING PARANOID! YOU'RE A LIAR AND ABANDON YOUR FRIENDS!

No need to shout.

I AM NOT SHOUTING.

You're writing in capital letters. That's considered shouting, just through quill and parchment.

To quote Moony, YOU ARE INSUFFURABLE!

I seem to have finally rubbed off on Sirius.

It would be very wise of you to stay quiet, Moony.

Okay, Sirius, here's the thing. Harry is innocent. He hasn't done anything wrong. So you are hereby banned from being suspicious of him lying, declaring any of his behavior suspicious, or snooping.

I second that.

Fine! I won't be suspicious of Harry anymore, no matter how much it pains me…or hurts your chances with Lily.

Shut up.

I second that.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sirius the Snooper's Observations of the Evil Twin (AKA Harry "The Liar" Potter!)

Day One (Midnight, Boys Dormitory)

Yes! I am completely ignoring Prongs and Moony and carrying out my observations of the Evil Twin, or Harry Potter, or Harry "The Liar" Potter, or Big-Fat-Stinking-LIAR! Whatever name suits you. I am being forced to carry out my observations in secret and only entering my observations in this neat little notebook at night…or whenever Prongs and Moony aren't looking.

I am going to record any suspicious behavior or actions of Harry Potter to prove or disprove (hopefully prove) ONE THING: He is after Lily Evans and trying to steal her from James! My observations begin tomorrow. So far, all Harry's done is scratch his nose in his sleep. I have half a mind to do the old whip-cream and quill trick, but Moony and Prongs would kill me for doing it. So it begins in the morning!

---

Day One (Lunch, School Kitchens)

Damn it! Harry must've suspected we were getting suspicious and decided to act calm! But, on the other hand, he was abnormally calm for a Tuesday. I mean, who the hell is calm on a Tuesday? You want to know what's worse? I actually saw him smile at one of Professor Flitwick's jokes. Who smiles at Professor Flitwick's jokes?! Besides Remus and Lily, I mean.

This unfortunately does not prove mine and Remus' theory. Well, it's mostly my theory now since Remus ABANDONED ME AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE! More observation is necessary. For now, I will observe this piece of apple pie the elves just brought!

---

Day One (After Dinner, Boys Dormitory)

Harry just disappeared from the common room saying he has to go to the library. Well, I checked the map and he's sure enough heading there. But why would he need to go to the library. He said he needs a book for Potions but I don't believe one bit of it. I'm going to "borrow" James' Invisibility Cloak and watch him in there. Luckily, James is busy with Head Boy duties, so he won't notice it gone and I'll have it back in there before he realizes it's gone.

---

Day Two (Midnight, Boys Dormitory)

Bloody hell! It was hard to spy on him and avoid Madam Pince at the same time. But I didn't get any information on Harry. All he did was walk in, look for a book, and get trailed by me. I thought he was about to find me for a second. He must've felt the power of my gaze or something because he turned his head around so fast I had to step back really quickly. Not because I was worried he would see me or anything, mainly from impulse. I mean, honestly, if you're spying on somebody you're going to jump and attempt to hide if they look around to where you're standing before you remember you've "borrowed" your best friend's Invisibility Cloak.

Then I had to jump around Madam Pince because she came to put some books on the shelf. Merlin! That woman is scary looking! I think she sensed my presence as well because she kind of froze in the middle of putting a book up so I had to back slowly away. But Harry didn't do anything suspicious for the rest of the evening. He came back to the common room, did his essay, and went to bed where he still is now. I must observe over the next few days to see what he does. I MUST PROVE MY THEORY AND PROVE PRONGS AND MOONY ARE WRONG!

---

Day Four (Noon, Library)

Now for my observations over the past few days…NOTHING! I thought Harry would have some suspicious behavior, but apparently not. He's just been normal. Normal as an evil, twisted, pathological liar can be. Plus, he's been acting kind of odd around me. He's probably noticed I've been giving him kind of weird looks lately. The worst part is, MOONY KNOWS! Well, maybe it's good. Depends on how you look at it.

I was walking up the stairs with Moony. Damn him! He distracted me with his constant ramblings, naggings, and big word…usage…thing. So just as I was busy rolling my eyes…I forgot the vanishing step. I NEVER FORGET THE VANISHING STEP! IT'S ALWAYS FRANK! So, along with sinking in to it, my bag fell and this little notebook fell out. So of COURSE book-loving Moony picks up all of my books that have been scattered around and leaves me in the vanishing step to suffer! Then he got to the notebook, which had fallen open. Very tense silence as I sink in to the step even further and Moony stands frozen, bent over the notebook and a hand outstretched. Finally he bends down picks it up. But to my utmost HORROR he puts every book but the notebook back in my bag.

"Sirius," he says waving the book in front of me. "what is this?" Oh boy. I am so busted. Moony is going to kill me for going behind him and Prongs.

"Er," I falter. "proof that I ignore everything you and Prongs tell me to do?" Moony raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth. I expect him to yell, I expect him to scold. I brace myself for the worst.

"What've you found out?" he asks.

Wait. WHAT? Did Moony seriously ask me how my observations of Harry Potter were going? Yes, he did. This is unreal.

"Besides the fact he sneezed yesterday at lunch…I got nothing," I admitted. Remus sighed and stowed the notebook in my bag.

"You're horrible at this whole snooping business, Sirius." With that he helped me out of the step and handed me my bag. I have vowed to be more suspicious without letting Harry know that I'm being suspicious of him.

Wait…Alice and Lily just walked in to the library. YES! They're sitting at a table one row over! I can see them through a crack in the books. Thankfully their backs are turned to me so they shouldn't notice…unless they turn around. Please don't let them do that! I shall record their conversation!

Lily: So, what should we start on first? Potions or Herbology?

Great! They're doing HOMEWORK. This is completely boring. I don't want to watch them do homework, let alone LISTEN to them. Wait, maybe I can get some answers for my own homework! No, NO! I am supposed to be spying on Harry! Harry POTTER! Not Lily EVANS! I should go and fi-

Alice: Pick a color.

Lily: Hmmmmm…Orange.

They're doing that dumb paper game. These are supposed to be the two smartest girls in our year. What has the Magical World COME TO?????

Alice: Pick a number

Lily: Three

Alice: one…two…three. Pick another.

Lily: Eight.

Alice: Hmmmmm...You will give your best friend the answers to the Potions homework.

Lily: Not a chance.

Alice: Fine. Pick another color.

Lily: Er…purple.

Alice: p-u-r-p-l-e. Number.

Lily: Two.

Alice: one…two. Another.

Lily: Five.

Alice: Okay…you will admit to your best friend that you are head over heels for a certain Mr. Po-

Lily: Shut up!

Wait, Lily's fallen for somebody? What if it's James? YES!

Alice: Come on Lily, just admit you like Potter.

YES! LILY LIKES JAMES! LILY LIKES JAMES! IT'S A MIRACLE! I COULD SING! Wait, bad idea. Madam Pince would kick me out of the library. Not that I wouldn't mind it or anything. I just don't want to get kicked out before I find out anymore to this conversation.

Lily: He has a first name!…Besides, I'm not really sure if I do like him or not.

Wait, what are you TALKING ABOUT LILY? OF COURSE YOU LIKE JAMES!

Alice: Plus you've been obsessing about him lately. The way he looks, the way he smiles, the way he talks…now I know how you felt when I wouldn't stop rambling about Frank.

Lily likes James! Lily likes James! Lily likes James! Lily likes James! I would totally do a victory dance if it weren't for the fact that my theory was just disproved and it would give away my hiding place and Lily would totally kill me or eavesdropping on her conversation. I have seen her perform some pretty bad hexes and jinxes.

Lily: Fine! I like him! But come on, it's hard NOT to.

WOOHOO!

Lily: I mean, his perfectly messy black hair, his smile-

Forget what I wrote earlier, this conversation just might make me puke.

Lily: -he's really nice too-

I'll give her credit for that. James is the nicest bloke you'll ever meet in the country. He just doesn't show it…very much.

Lily: -but at the same time he's kind of mysterious-

Okay, she obviously sees something in James the rest of us are blind to. I mean, James Potter…mysterious?

Lily: -he seems like somebody you can have a serious conversation with-

…That's kind of James…I guess.

Lily: Plus have you SEEN his eyes? They're the most startling color of green it's almost a bit shocking.

Great, now they're talking about James' eye color. Who would waste their time talking about James' eye color?. Wait…James' eyes aren't green. They're hazel. Is Lily color blind or something? She must be. Why else would she mistake James' eyes for green instead of hazel?

Alice: So…you like Harry Potter?

Lily: I think we've established earlier that I do and that you're not to repeat it to ANYBODY!

Lily likes Harry! Lily likes Harry! LILY LIKES-wait. LILY LIKES HARRY?!?!?!?!?!?!

This isn't good. Not good at all.