As usual, this humble author makes no claim on the plot or characters of Inuyasha. My only claim lies in my own plot, characters and twisted mind. No profit is made from writing this story unless you count my unending amusement and thirst for reviews.
"They are all dead."
The words hung in the air tinging it with the tragic pall of death. Kagome blinked several times, willing the tears that threatened to dissipate. She had only told her story once in the time since her friends had left this world so abruptly. The miko recalled when she had told Myoga and Totosai of the tragic events. Her voice had been strangely calm and factual as she had relayed her tale. She had told the story as dispassionately as if it had happened to a stranger.
Kagome realized in that moment that except when she had buried them, she had never taken the time to mourn her lost comrades. She had squared her shoulders, bearing upon them her burdens, and set off to find Inuyasha. The miko had set off for vengeance and had found nothing in all this time.
Sesshoumaru stared at the lovely priestess in front of him, watching the emotions play across her face. He was unable to read what she was thinking and not for the first time, he regretted bringing up the topic. However, now that the subject had been broached, the daiyoukai found he had no idea what to say to her.
After long moments of silence, Kagome finally looked up to meet his inquiring golden eyes. She found her thoughts turning away from her sorrows, as was her custom, and turning to the daiyoukai that sat across the table from her. He was the same Sesshoumaru who had tried to kill her with his acid within the first weeks of her exploration of the feudal era, and yet, he was not.
Her mind conjured up the image of him hugging Rin. He had once professed to hate all humans and hanyou alike, but it was obvious that he loved the little human girl in his own way. While it was true that he would never be a carefree spirit whom shared his thoughts and feelings freely, Kagome found herself entranced by the change in the stoic lord. Thinking of the night he had brought her here, the miko found herself blushing at the remembrance of the daiyoukai standing so close to her in the doorway of her room.
Going back further, her mind remembered how they had met after so many years. She had killed one of the youkai loyal to him, and yet he had given her a fighting chance instead of killing her on the spot. He had many options of what to do with her once they had reached the palace, but instead of locking her away or reducing her to a servant, he had allowed her to learn and be of use. Sesshoumaru had even been cautious with her. He had been content to allow silence to accompany most of their meals and had given her space after he had been witness to the scars that haunted even her dreams. Could she trust him with this? Dare she allow herself to open herself up to the past or would the grief cause her to become mad?
Biting softly on her lower lip as she gazed into his eyes, she found that she did trust him. Taking a deep breath, she began her story, "It was just after Naraku was defeated, and I found that I had reservations about being rid of the Shikon no Tama. I put off doing what I needed to do in order to make a decision of whether I would stay here, or leave and go back to my own world. Inuyasha and I still hadn't been able to talk about the future or what it might hold for us, and I admit that this was also a source of my trepidation. I had gone out for a couple of days to find rare herbs…"
Sesshoumaru listened patiently as the miko told her story, at times pausing for what felt like an eternity before she was able to go on. When she got to the part where she had found her dead kit, Kagome finally began to cry. She cried for the loss, but more importantly, she cried for the future that they both had been robbed of. The dejected priestess seemed unable to go on for a long time and the daiyoukai spoke up, "You do not have to go on, if you do not wish to tell me, miko."
Gulping back a sob, Kagome brushed the tears off her face even as more threatened to fall. Her voice was soft and had a meek quality to it that Sesshoumaru did not expect when she spoke, "It's okay. I- I have never let myself grieve them in all this time. I carried the loss with me, but I have been wholly unable of letting them go. I have wrapped their loss around me like a cloak and allowed it drive my every action. It is time I stopped living this way if I am to ever find a shred of peace in this world."
Sesshoumaru pondered her words for a moment before standing and offering the miko his hand, "Come, we will go sit somewhere comfortable and you can share what you wish to." He led her just across the hall to a den-like area. There was a fire crackling in the hearth with a cozy looking sofa in front of it upholstered in a light shade of cream. There were also multiple chairs and a chaise in the same color arranged around a low table covered with purple silk and topped with a cut crystal vase that stood empty.
Kagome chose to sit by the fire, feeling chilled at the remembrance of the events that had ruled her life for three long years. She stared into the fire for long minutes, oblivious to her present companion sitting on the other end of the small sofa. The change of rooms had broken her train of thought and now she struggled with being able to tell him the rest of her story.
"By the time I got there, everyone was dead and Inuyasha had disappeared along with the jewel," She summarized. Kagome was glad he had suggested moving to this room as it gave her time to collect her thoughts and not be swamped by the memories she had kept at bay all this time. She would mourn her friends, but she did not want to look even more like a weak, sentimental human in front of Sesshoumaru.
The daiyoukai found himself perplexed by the sudden change but chose not to question it. He did, however, have some questions that needed answering. Choosing his words with care, the inuyoukai asked, "Are you sure it was Inuyasha's doing?"
Kagome gulped as the images replayed themselves in her mind before she was able to answer, "The jewel disappeared, Inuyasha disappeared, and everyone in the village was covered in claw marks."
"Claw marks?" Sesshoumaru repeated.
"When Inuyasha killed all those thieves after Gatenmaru had taken Tessaiga… These claw marks were the same. I don't know exactly what happened but I can tell you what I think happened." Kagome replied, meeting the daiyoukai's intent stare.
"Tell me," He beckoned, already having a good idea.
"Inuyasha took the jewel and wished to become a full demon. I think that the pure youkai blood took him over as it had done before and he slaughtered everyone near him. What I don't know, is what happened to him after that." Kagome explained, her eyes hardening as she thought of her traitorous once-friend.
"You never found him?"
Kagome's facial expressions told the story for her. Sesshoumaru saw the intense anger, perhaps even hatred, in the miko's eyes turn to resolve and finally resignation.
The miko spoke with vehemence, "I buried my friends, unable to leave them as carrion for the crows before I set out to follow him. I searched in the direction I had last felt demonic aura, but I found nothing, not even a clue as to where he had gone. I have spent the time since then searching for any clue that might lead me to him so that I might seek vengeance for my companions. I never did find much in the way of clues, but I went from village to village seeking reports of demon attacks or anything suspicious. I would have died to ensure that he left this world with me to avenge my friends. This last year, while I still keep an ear out, I had to finally accept that he is probably dead. Likely the fool was found by some other youkai and was slain in his state of madness, just as was predicted by Myoga and Totosai."
By the end of her account, Kagome's voice had lost its heat and become dull. It amazed Sesshoumaru how much she was able to convey in her body language and tone of voice. Even for all the emotion that she showed, he knew she hid her deep sadness as she always had.
The beast rose up swiftly within Sesshoumaru and he fought the urge to pull the young miko into his arms and comfort her. Though their time together had been limited, as had their interaction up until now, Kagome had become part of his pack. She may not have need of it, but Sesshoumaru realized he would always protect her. He had a coursing rage in his blood from the betrayal his brother had done to her that he found hard to quell.
His head spun with all the emotions that she had elicited from him, and it was not a pleasant feeling for the lord. His whole life had been devoid of emotion until he had saved little Rin, but even then he had limited experience with the phenomenon. He understood the protective instinct. He even understood the rage he was feeling, but since when should he feel what seemed to be compassion and remorse for the miko?
The unexpected emotion was more than just unpleasant. It caused confusion in Sesshoumaru's mind, and confusion only fueled his anger. Anger was a safe emotion, one that the inuyoukai was comfortable with and understood. The emotion-fueled anger caused his youki to flare. Involuntarily, the daiyoukai growled low in his throat.
Kagome's eyes became wide and startled as her head snapped up to look at him. Sesshoumaru's eyes had gone mostly red as his beast welled up within him. Too much emotion had snapped him into a more primal state, one where emotion was not needed. The daiyoukai was still fully aware of what was going on around him, and the startled gasp that came from the miko drew his attention.
Kagome stared warily at the daiyoukai, reeling in her aura so as not to provoke him. She did not understand that Sesshoumaru had complete control of this side of himself as she had only ever been exposed to the wild and unpredictable hanyou. Seeing the red in his eyes made her breath hitch as a burst of fear made her heart start pounding in her chest.
"You need not fear me, miko," Sesshoumaru said in a voice that was unfamiliar to her. The tone sounded thick in his throat and the words resonated with a gravelly tenor that did little to quell her fear. She sat staring at him, almost in a trance. Her breathing was shallow and rapid as her heart beat became a staccato pounding in both of their ears. The miko resembled a frightened rabbit ready to flee from a predator.
Seeing her near naked fear made his beast whine with discontent. It did not like that they had frightened one who belonged to their pack and was not deserving of such emotion. Closing his eyes, Sesshoumaru took a deep breath and when he reopened them, they were his natural golden amber. The daiyoukai studied the miko from behind those impassive golden eyes as she relaxed somewhat. He listened to her breathing even out and her heart slow to near normal. She was still tense and on edge, but seeing his eyes change back had calmed the majority of her fear.
"Kagome," he began, purposefully using her name, "I am not like that half-breed brother of mine who cannot control his inner beast. My beast and I are one."
Some of the tension eased from her shoulders as she continued to stare at him. There was an odd mixture of trepidation and awe in those sparkling azure eyes of hers that amused the daiyoukai. Kagome continued to stare for a moment before finding her voice. Suddenly curious, she asked, "So you are like two beings in one body?"
"Yes and no. The beast is my baser nature, but in reality, we are one and the same." He replied, the smallest of smirks turning the corner of his mouth upwards.
"So what caused your eyes to turn red just now?" The miko inquired, her boundless curiosity making her bold.
"Anger. Anger is a base emotion that can drive out reason in lesser youkai and make them transform, for those that are able. This Sesshoumaru controls his transformation and does not allow emotion to play a part in a decision to convert to that form," He explained, his amusement heightening at her inherent inquisitive nature.
Sesshoumaru could tell that she was pondering his answer and he watched as she relaxed back into the sofa, her initial fear gone. Still curious, she asked, "So, if Inuyasha had been a full demon instead of a hanyou, he would have had the ability to transform into a giant dog?"
"Hypothetically, yes he would have been. His human blood inhibited the natural power of his youki so that he was unable to transform," Sesshoumaru explained patiently to the fascinated miko. The daiyoukai found that he liked when Kagome let the analytical part of her mind take over, it made her eyes sparkle with her interest in the subject.
"So, if human blood limits the inherent power or youki of a demon, then what causes my reiryoku to be so strong?"
"Youki and your spiritual energy are fundamentally different while being much the same. Every demon is born with youki, but few humans possess strong enough reiryoku to be able to utilize it. Just as my inherent power is much greater than most youkai, your spiritual energies are much stronger than the majority of priests and priestesses. We were both born with the immense amount of power that we have, but through training and defeating enemies, we realize its full potential and it becomes strengthened. Youki and reiryoku are opposing energies, much like yin and yang and they balance each other out. By my estimation, you and I are akin to one another in the power of our energy."
Kagome smiled and replied, "Perhaps then I should have focused less on the use of my sword and more on my inherent power during our battle." The miko laughed as she more or less teased the powerful inuyoukai.
Returning her smile, he responded, "Perhaps so. If we ever truly wanted to kill each other, it would be an interesting battle to say the least."
"What do you think happened to Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, surprising Sesshoumaru with the sudden change of topic.
"It would seem that you have come to the logical conclusion regarding the hanyou," He stated simply, as he himself had not worked out another scenario with the information that the miko had provided him. The daiyoukai was reminded of the fact that his messenger had scented a full-blooded demon at the gravesite, but was unsure how this information played into the scenario. Thinking on this, he added, "Though, perhaps he did survive. My scout was able to pick up the scent of an inuyoukai at the burial site of your village."
"True," was all Kagome could think to reply with. She maintained her calm demeanor on the outside, but on the inside, a burning wrath seethed at the thought that Inuyasha might still be alive. The miko could not stand the thought that he still breathed while her friends had died at his claws.
Sesshoumaru could sense the direction of her thoughts as her aura quietly churned between them. Part of him wanted to promise that he would personally see to the death of her betrayer, but the daiyoukai kept silent. Knowing the depth of Inuyasha's treachery, he recognized the need for retribution in her eyes. He suddenly recalled her words, 'I would have died to ensure that he left this world with me…'
Even knowing that he had responsibilities to attend to here at the palace, Sesshoumaru made her an offer, "I will go with you to investigate the report of this Inuyoukai with you, if that is what you wish."
AN: That's all for now folks! I have a couple more days off though, so be expecting another update soon! Please take the time to review if you have it to spare, I thoroughly enjoy hearing your thoughts and theories on what may be in store! Thanks so much to each and every person out there who has taken an interest in this story!