This is the second Half... WOOOO! I'm soooo sorry for the lateness. My Account broke again! I can't even count how many times it's happened.

Oh and Now it's time for me to whore out a fiction, because I'm not sure any of you read the last authors note... (I usually don't). First: Invader Zim Christmas Carol. It rocks my socks. They are dancing as we speak, in fact.

Second: Falling Into Darkness! Read the frikin' story people! Look it up on te search engine, seriously.

The car was a rusty, steel monstrosity, liberally scattered with dents, peeling paint and suspicious stains.

It was weird, disconcerting, how Zim could look so at home in the back of this creaking metal death trap.

"Alright then, Mr. I'm-totally-not-bothered-by-sitting-in-week-old-blood-stains, why don't you take your turn now?" Rasped the freckled fourteen-year-old.

"Uhhh… Hmmmm…. Errrr…" The alien scratched his head thoughtfully and shrugged.

"Your TURN!" Dib hissed poisonously. He would've yelled, but he was afraid to invoke the quite possibly lethal wrath of the man in the drivers seat.

"I told you my most personal, most traumatic, secret and now you owe me!"

"How many times must I tell you: ZIM owes filthy earth-children NOTHING!" Zim said haughtily.

"Fine!" Snapped Dib, forgetting to whisper in his growing frustration. "Then do it because you said you would. 'Invaders never go back on their word', after all." The human crossed his arms tightly against his chest and waited.

"This is true…" Zim conceded. You could almost see the gears turning in his head. "Yes, that will do," He nodded and turned to his companion. "Remember how I spoke of the Tallests yesterday?" He began.

"Yeah, is this about them?"

"Yeeees, and you must never tell of what I am… about to… tell you," The invader finished lamely.

"Alright," Agreed the boy, wondering how Zim managed to know so much stuff when he was clearly not popular.

Maybe he just notices things other people don't? No, that can't be it; he's far too out of it. Not to mention his stubbornness…but what if the secret was something he wasn't stubborn about?

"They are amazing, and powerful, my Tallests. One cannot speak too highly of them—ALL PRAISE THE TALLESTS!" He bellowed, causing the already unstable car to swerve haphazardly and hit an especially unlucky mailman before wandering back inside the lines. This apparently didn't faze the driver.

"All right! They're awesome, I get it!" Dib growled, rubbing his ears gingerly. Even after all of these years, he still wasn't used to Zim's outbursts. Often they reached barely tolerable decibel levels.

"Anyway, I noticed long ago that they have a strange relationship. They appear to be comrades, as shown by their constant bickering, but they never leave each other's side. That is not normal comrade behavior." The Irken paused.

"Noooo… I suppose not, but why else…. I mean what else…?" Dib racked his brain for a way to ask if Irkens could fall in love without offending Zim.

"They were obviously secret Partners," The invader informed him smugly. "But they can't admit it because the Control Brains would go crazy. It happens a lot, but it's not supposed too." He shrugged.

"So this is like… top secret?"

"Yeeees."

"Umm… Aren't they both… y'know… guys?" Inquired the profoundly embarrassed human. He was only fourteen after all and not exactly what you'd call "socially mature".

"Eh? Oh, no, not the way you're thinking. Irk, it's like talking to a Smeet with you."

"So sue me! No, actually, don't—I'm not in the mood. Try back tomorrow."

"Shut your filthy mouth and listen. Because natural smeets were hard to create even before the New Era, The Irken Machine gave every Irken the ability to reproduce, no matter who they happened to be stuck with."

"So… You mean…?" Dib recoiled in disgust, as the horrible truth dawned on him.

"Yes, Irkens are bi-gendered. It's a superior evolutionary strategy, not that we need help being superior. There is, of course, masculine and feminine, but it's all the same in the end."

The backseat was quiet for a moment as Dib processed this information (I.e. OMG, that means Zim is Bi?) and looked for a polite way to ask his next question. He shifted uneasily in the dirty, yellowed seat.

"I'm clear on that," the Earthling began nervously, "But you said 'even before'… and yesterday, you said something about removing genes… for that sort of thing… so…"

"Oh," The Alien rolled his eyes, "You want to know if we can… how do you primitive beasts say it? 'Get laid'?" The teen's face went from its normal deathly pallor to an unbecoming shade of fuchsia. He nodded sheepishly.

"Yes. Yes, we can. But Irkens do not 'love', nor do we permit any vulgar human-like displays of affection in our society."

Dib didn't point it out, but he noticed how Zim's speech flipped from 'we' to 'they' with striking regularity.

"But you can?" He asked uneasily. Curiosity killed the cat—satisfaction brought him back.

"Yeeees…"

"And yet you can't reproduce?"

"It's just a matter of removing some key genes. The ones that crea—"

"I'm REALLY not comfortable with this conversation." Interrupted the teenager.

"Neither am I," added a voice from the front. "It's impossible to block out the green kid, and seriously, the whole thing puts me on edge. If it wasn't so clinical... What kind of fuckin' alien are you?"

But the only response was blaring silence, as the rivals gaped in his direction.

Oh no, a human suspects me! Zim panicked in the safety of his own head. I'm NOT going to use the self-destruct. Aren't humans supposed to be stupid? What's wrong with these people?!? Is it just the crazy ones who know anything?

Dib, on the other hand, was less horrified and more shocked out of his mind.

He…He believes me? Yeah, he's nuts, but he believes me! Wait… he heard that whole conversation?!?

That was where horror started to kick in.

"Okay, we're here!" shouted the psychotic Principal. The car slammed into a tree in the parking lot and the occupants were unceremoniously jerked forward. Thank god for seatbelts.

"… Mall time it is." And with that, Dib and Zim hastily vacated the terrible metallic vestibule.

The mall was huge. Colossal. Gigantic. It was really the size of a small city, with parking garages like giant labyrinths.

The looks they got on their way in could've melted paint off a truck. Though, now-a-days, there were very few cars to begin with, and even fewer trucks.

The point is, the little group was not well met.

"We sure are a odd bunch." Considered the only semi-sane person in the party. "I mean there's me, the big-headed crazy boy, and Zim the green-skinned, nose-less kid and then there's…"

He looked up at the school administrator, who was currently sending a death glare in one Mall-patron's direction.

"Never mind."

"I'll be back boys," the man informed them with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. He then proceeded to stalk off in the direction of one emaciated prep girl. One who had, if you were watching before, been whispering to her equally starved companion and pointing in their direction.

"I guess we're on our own," Dib said, idly scratching his head.

"Uh-huh," His "friend" agreed, casting a look around the interior of the mall. His eyes widened. "Ooooh! It's an arcade! Take Zim there!"

Okay Teya, do you see where this is going? (And in case you do read this: LOOK IT UP!)

-Loves-

"...The things I used to love are not for sale. Keep yourself away--far way from me. I forever stay your perfect enemy." -Perfect Enemy, TATU