Warning: Same sex relationship can be found in this fic. Dark themes as well as inappriopriate language.
Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, only the plot.
Chapter 7
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it
--Helen Keller"
Looking in the mirror, I admired the way Rosalie had cut my hair into the short spiky style that I preferred, the only difference was that Rosalie made the back of my hair look like it had been done by a hairstylist, unlike the appearance that it was given when I cut my hair- like it had been hacked at with scissors- which it, I had to admit, had been for many years.
"Thank you Rosalie"
I told her as I gathered up the hair which had fallen to the floor together and wrapped it carefully in a plastic bag.
"So, you send your hair away after you cut it and you get money for it?"
Rosalie asked and I nodded as I slid it into a packet and addressed it to the company that paid me for my hair. Though they had never once met me, the owners were very fond of me for reasons unknown to me.
"Yes, we have a business understanding, which is very convenient for the position that I am in"
Rosalie frowned as she cleared away the hair that I had missed and dumped it in the bin; I cleaned the scissors in the sink and set them on the drainer to dry.
"I don't understand"
Rosalie replied and I was confused, what wasn't there to understand about the situation that I was in since my sad, pitiful excuse of a life began? It was simple, if I went out into the open; I was all but nailing a sign that said 'kill me I'm a half breed' or better yet 'fifty points if you get me through the heart or brain'. After thinking these thoughts, a shock realization that I had been out in society and had yet to be killed made me so happy that I had to smile widely and bounce in my seat with excitement
"Rosalie, thank you, thank you!"
I told her, taking her hands in mine and shaking them up and down in thanks. Rosalie looked at me, almost trying to figure out why I was thanking her and then she realized what I was thanking her for, or something along those lines
"Why are you thanking me?"
Rosalie was still confused, despite what her pretty features told me otherwise. Taking deep breaths in attempts to calm my excitement, which like my anger, sometimes spiraled out of control, finally, when I had calmed considerably, I explained to Rosalie what I was thanking her for and she smiled at me and then threw her arms around me drawing me close to her. With a growl and a snarl, I jumped back, confused and not trusting at what Rosalie had done.
"I am sorry Alice, please forgive me"
Rosalie told me, her hands in the air in an expression of submission. Slowly, I stood straight, coming out of the crouched, defensive position that I had sunk into in my panic and confusion.
"Why did you do that?"
I asked, not recognizing that harsh tone of voice that came from my lips. Unclenching my fists, I let my hands fall to the side as my anger stilled and instead, it was time for the depression to overwhelm me, as did my trembles. Rosalie, who was more than acquainted to this side of me, helped me onto the bed, curling my shaking limbs around me.
Rosalie climbed behind me so I sat between her legs and placed her hands on my shoulders. Despite the weeks of touches- a soft hand resting on my hand, relinquishing objects over, brushing past each other accidentally, I was still wary when Rosalie did this and a growl snaked out as my trembles calmed down
"Shh, it's all right Alice"
She soothed her hands moving in slow, deliberate circles on my back, moving up into my short hair and circling there before working on my neck and I leaned back, towards Rosalie tiredness overwhelming me. Her head came to rest on my shoulder and I looked at Rosalie, her eyes closed, a small smile upon her face
"Are you still uncomfortable?"
She whispered and it took me a second to realize that I was comfortable, that I welcomed this, desired it, and I told her as such not in the least afraid that brutal honesty would offend her
"I am glad"
She told me and the circles made by her hands moved to my belly, resting there, one resting on my upper belly, underneath my ribs, one resting but one hand's width underneath the other and I felt some sort of apprehension building inside of me and I let out a sigh of satisfaction at the feeling
"Do you like that?"
Rosalie asked, curious and I nodded quickly for she had paused what she was doing and almost immediately she resumed her previous task and it felt different, like we were closer than before, something cold brushed my ear, gently, like a whispered. It happened again, moving lower, resting on my neck and my heart beat- already quicker than a human's beat still faster.
I turned wanting to see what it was and I saw Rosalie concentrating on what she was doing, her hands had moved at my sides moving to the base of my legs and I brought up my hand to touch her face tentatively, nervous and when she didn't bite my fingers off, I traced the contours of her face, her eyes closed. She enjoyed what I was doing as my fingers came to her neck and down to the bones across her chest. Something compelled me to bring my fingers down to her belly and I did so, my finger travelling between her breasts slowly and resting on the dent in the clothes on her lower belly
"The belly button"
She told me breathless, without me having to ask, she pulled up my shirt and she showed me my own, my very own and I was proud to possess a belly button like Rosalie did. That coldness against my skin again and I saw her lips on my shoulder, pressing gently against the skin and the apprehension inside of me built still further wanting to know how she did it, I pressed my lips to her cheek quickly and I jumped away startled when her lips pressed against mine for a long moment. Panting, I looked at Rosalie who had a patient look on her face
"That's called kissing"
She supplied softly and I nodded, filing away that piece of information
"Why do people kiss?"
I wondered aloud. Rosalie was all too happy to supply the answer to my question
"Some cultures and people kiss each other in greeting, in other's it's a symbol of something but generally it's a sign of affection"
I nodded, still a little bit confused and Rosalie still waited and I wondered why she spent so much time teaching me these things
"So, if I were to do this…"
She leant forward and brought her hand behind my head, pulling me closer to her gently and her lips met mine again, longer this time as she pulled me closer and I moved willingly. That apprehension was building again inside of me and I felt something move along my lower lip and I opened my mouth with a gasp
"It's my tongue, nothing more"
Rosalie supplied as she pulled away from me and I was left, sitting on my legs feeling thoroughly disappointed that she stopped
"So that was showing my affection for you"
I nodded understanding and because I only knew how to convey affection in two ways, I hugged Rosalie tightly
"My affection for you is great"
I murmured against the base of her neck, my other arm resting casually against her upper torso. I was comfortable in this spot and I did not want to move, despite the fact that I was getting colder. Eventually I had to move away for I was freezing and Rosalie wrapped a thick blanket around me
"Silly, you know you get cold"
She scolded me moving off of the bed and moving out of the room. She returned with a steaming drink two minutes later and I drank deeply, the warmth seeping through me when I no longer felt like a block of ice did I supply my reason
"I was comfortable, I didn't want to move"
Rosalie laughed and even now, her laugh still delighted me whenever I heard it. Adjusting my position where I was curled up in the blankets, I was able to curl up into a tight ball as Rosalie tucked me further into the blankets
"You are like a mother"
I told her, not sure if what she was doing was maternal like but, from what I saw of Esme fussing over her adopted children and on the T.V, what Rosalie was doing was maternal. She smiled at me
"I always wanted a baby, so badly, my best girlfriend Vera had a little boy, whose name is Henry, I was in love with being a mother and couldn't wait to have children of my own, until…"
Rosalie trailed off, a hard look coming over her face at the unpleasant memory that had been dredged up as a result of my question and it didn't take a scientist to figure that she was talking about her turn into a vampire. With gusto I didn't know was inside of me, I reached out and touched Rosalie's hand, hopefully in reassurance
"I am sorry Rosalie"
I apologized, for I had not meant to cause her unnecessary pain. She touched my face softly and then pulled away and I noticed her eyes were dark, she needed to hunt.
"You need to hunt"
I stated and she nodded gratefully at me.
"We are to leave in the early morning or tonight, depending…"
She trailed off and I nodded in understanding and taking a deep breath, I gestured at the door with my head and I watched as she all but bolted from the house. And for the first time in my life, I wanted to know if I would still be with someone in the future. Concentrating, I tried to look into my future and saw…blackness? Time after time, I tried to see past the blackness and every time, all I saw was more blackness, to the point that I no longer desired to see my future, for surely, it was a horrible one?
A couple of days passed with Rosalie's absence Rosalie had gone with her coven to hunt. I had no need to hunt even though I had been invited and to busy myself on the day that they were due to return, I went to the grocery store. Now that the towns people of Forks knew that I could speak, they nodded at me in greeting, asked me how I was. Bags in hand I all but sprinted to the Cullen house, anxious to see all of them, more in particular Rosalie, slowing I heard loud music and I saw the windows thrown open. At the front door, I knocked on the door and to my surprise, Esme answered
"Alice, it is so nice to see you, how was your hunt?"