Oh how this chapter took some thinking and a few late nights of just writing a sentence and reading over, then repeating. This chapter should give you some more insight into Jacob and Rosalie, how Rosalie treats her mum and the current side 'friendship' going on between Paul and Rosalie.
Hope you like all my hard work ;) Keep up the reviews!
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YouTube told me everything, showed me everything in just one click. The video of my horrible hurdle race was in full screen on my laptop. How could I have not noticed my footwork? I clearly was not focusing on the pattern of my steps. I rewind to the second I miss my hurdle and watch it again. I cringe at the screech coming from my laptop and my knee throbs as I remember the pain that brought on my scream. The pain in my stomach is and was worse.
"What you watching, Barbie?" Jacob's voice makes me jump just as I'm about to replay my fall. He watches over my shoulder and hisses at the sound of the scream. "Fuck, she messed up good aye?" Piss the fuck off! I feel like saying to him, but instead I close the laptop and sit it on the floor next to the couch.
"She had the wrong foot pattern." I say emotionally and he takes a seat next to me. I dreaded the weekends the most. I had to put up with Jacob the most at home, considering he had no one else to talk to. Also, mum and Billy just had to work on Saturdays, which made it even more awkward between Jacob and I.
"Looks like she didn't know how to jump hurdles." He laughs and switches the television on. I wasn't going to go and tell him it was me in the video, but my next words of defence must have hinted to him.
"She doesn't do hurdles, she runs. As in track. She was only sixteen when she ran that opens race. So, shut the fuck up." I grab my laptop off the floor, escaping to my room.
"Was that you, Barbie?" Jacob stops me in my tracks, and I turn to face him.
"Yes." One word and I escape to my room. After changing quickly, I'm heading out the front door wearing my old training uniform. It's tight around my ass and boobs. I was so stupid to let myself put on so much weight, I needed to stay thin and healthy not turn into a fat blob.
"Where you going, Barbie?" I hear Jacob's voice come from the garage as I pass it.
"Hey Rosalie." Another voice comes from the garage and I go to investigate.
"Oh, hey Paul." I tuck my hands in the jumper I'm wearing because it's still as cold as fuck. And just as I expected Paul and Jacob are best friends. Fuck me dead.
"Why aren't you wearing pants? Come to give us a show." Jacob stands up from his camping chair laughing while dragging his feet as he walks to his car. Paul laughs too.
"No, you dipshit, I'm going for a run." I turn on my heel as Jacob laughs harder. I strip off my jumper and chuck it over the railing of the steps leading to the house and I stretch out my limbs.
"Mind if I join you?" Paul's voice startles me and he comes up next to me, and takes a seat on the steps.
"No. But, you have to keep up. I'm not slowing down for you." I don't stretch properly not wanting Paul to be staring at me. I bend down to make sure my shoes are tied correctly and Paul's short intake of breath tells me that was a bad idea. "Come on." I say as I begin just walking back down the gravel driveway.
"Where are you running to?" He asks, catching up to me.
"I don't know. I never really have a destination, I just run." I take a look at the old road and it looks decent enough to run. I know it's long in distance, as I have been taking it to school everyday for the past week. I check my watch, putting it on timer, and I check my pedometer, so I can measure the distance I run. Usually, cross-country isn't my thing and I prefer just track, but the only way I can train on the weekend without a running machine is to run cross-country distances. The weather today was overcast and the weatherman said we would be expecting rain in the afternoon, yet again.
Leaving Paul behind me I set off in a pace that should keep him a decent distance behind me, to avoid conversation. But, sadly this reasonable pace wasn't enough for Paul to show off so he picks up his feet speeding off in front of me. Good, keep away from me. I thought I could be a reasonable person and allow Paul to be in front of me, knowing he will tire out soon. But, my competitive personality takes control and I find myself driving my feet at a faster pace, and I reach Paul. I keep it to one foot ahead of him. I don't want to over do it.
"You're fast." He comments and I nod. "What, no talking?" I shake my head.
"I don't talk when I run, you loose concentration." I leave it at that and check my watch quickly. Only five minutes. Fuck. Paul's breathing gets shallower and I know he's already tired. He slows and I keep my pace. I leave him behind and continue to run the long stretch of road. I didn't want him to bring me down. He was just another hurdle I had to get over.
I always counted my breathing when I ran, it stopped me from thinking. But, thinking was what I was doing a lot lately. Thinking about my mistakes, my failures, my disappointments, everything. Nothing seemed to be right anymore, but then again nothing ever was right. Did it matter that I had no strong male figure in my life? Like as in a father figure? Carlisle was weak and if it weren't for the fact that I used to love him, I wouldn't care if he died right now. Billy, sure he makes my mother happy, but I know he won't be my father, although he tried…
"Good morning, Rosalie." I step into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes on Friday morning.
"Oh, hi." I say awkwardly preparing myself breakfast.
"So, I uh." Billy fumbles over his words. "Sorry, Esme told me to try to get to know you better. She doesn't like it that we haven't spoken to each other this whole week." He looks at me strangely.
"She asked me the same thing last night." I say and he nods as I remember the conversation I had with mum.
"Let's start with you." Billy offers.
"Alright, what do you want to know about me, Billy?" First name bases were what I kept to, no way would I call him dad.
"When's your birthday?" He asks after a short moment of silence.
"Twentieth of September." I answer, staring at my cereal bowl.
"That's only three weeks away!" Billy exclaims and I look up from my bowl, noticing his excitement.
"Yeah." I try not to laugh at Billy's facial expression, his bushy eyebrows almost reaching his receding hairline.
"You have to have the tradition bonfire and barbeque, Black style." Billy speaks just as my mum walks in to the kitchen.
"Do I hear father/daughter bonding going on?" She giggles as she gives Billy a kiss on the cheek. His face blushes as he is caught.
"Yeah, mum. I have to get to school. It was nice talking with you, Billy." I race out of the kitchen quickly, hoping to get away from the awkward conversations with Billy and my mum.
The stabbing pain in my knee worsens and I find myself slowing down. No, I have to keep going. I ignore the pain for a while and listen to my surroundings instead. Birds in the distance, no vehicle sounds, the leaves rustling high above me and the sound of someone heaving behind me is what I heard. What the fuck? I stop suddenly and my knee protests just as much as if I were running. I turn around and I notice Paul curled over in the grass beside the road chucking his insides out.
Gross, so gross.
I make a quick jog to his side, ruining my training routine.
"Paul, are you okay?" I ask and I can't look at him while he's throwing up. I receive another heaving noise before another flow of liquidated food comes from his mouth. A sudden memory pops into my head, my self kneeled over a toilet. So horrible. So much worry, so much pain, so much disappointment.
I'm transferred back to the present as Paul takes a spit, lying face down on the road, his face hot and flushed.
"Sorry." He whispers and opens his eyes slightly, I bend down to him and brush the dark, sweat drenched hair from his eyes. Such pretty eyes.
"It's alright." I comfort him, although it is not. "Are you sick? Or just pushed yourself too hard?" Memories of yesterday come to mind as Sam asked me a similar question.
"You're tough to keep up with." His voice sounds wavering and he sits up abruptly, throwing up again. I jump out of the way just in time. He dry reaches for a while and I rub his back, because what else could I do? I leave him sitting with his head hanging between his knees for a while and ask him if he is okay to walk. He stands up on shaky legs and I'm worried he's going to fall over and start throwing up again. Thankfully he doesn't. I sling his arm over my shoulder as I help him walk.
"I must look like the biggest pussy ever." He half-heartedly speaks after a few minutes of torturously slow walking.
"No, it's okay. Like you said before, I'm fast." I laugh at my words and at Paul's. Yes, you are a pussy. But no, I will not say it to your face. The silence is fine and we make it back home in about three times the amount of time it took to run.
After a quick explanation to Jacob he drives Paul home and I'm able to have a nice hot shower to wash off the icky feelings after watching Paul throw up in front of me. Mum and Billy should be arriving home soon and I take a seat on the couch switching on the television, but not bothering to watch it fully. The bang of the front door shocks me and I turn to see Jacob walk in with a sour look on his face.
"Thank you so much, Barbie." He looks at me with daggers in his eyes. I give him a mocking smile before telling him he's welcome, for what I don't know.
My laptop was calling out to me again and I realised that not checking my emails from Alice would be a very, very bad thing. I didn't call her back like I promised, and she didn't call either.
Ignoring Jacob's strange looks I head to my room, but what stopped me was the clear plastic wrapping about head height covering my doorframe. My door was still missing.
"Nice try, Jacob." I yell at the idiot sitting in the lounge room, obviously still attempting to get me back for the juice incident. I grab the cling wrap from my doorframe and throw it on the floor. I thought that was it, just so I would smack my face into plastic but boy was I wrong. Taking a step inside my bedroom I trip over a second piece lower, I reach out my hands to catch my fall, but sadly my knee smacks on the hard wooden floors and I scream. Jacob comes running in laughing his face off until he notices I'm not bothering to get up.
"You think you're smart don't you, Barbie." Jacob grabs the cling wrap off the floor and freezes in place. I try to get up but the pain worsens. My knee was supposed to be fixed, healed. But it wasn't.
"Shit, Barbie. Are you crying?" Jacob bends down and touches me. I slap his hand away and I feel moisture slide from my cheeks.
"Fuck off!" I scream at him and he doesn't seem fazed.
"I didn't mean to…" He trails off and I close my eyes to stop the sobs of pain that are trying so desperately to come out. Focusing so hard on not breaking down I barely even feel Jacob's arms collect me off the floor. Him touching me makes bile rise up in my throat.
"Don't…" I try to tell him to put me the fuck down, but the pain from my knee stops me from making anything sound normal and I just end up saying, 'you' and 'fuck' to Jacob. I kind of remember chuckling and nodding saying yes he did fuck. Gently placing me on my bed he apologises again and again. The tears spring free and I can't help but slap him away as he tries to touch me again.
"Rosalie, I'm sorry." Jacob's voice was slightly distant, the pain full force now.
"Ice." I manage to whisper and he nods silently, running out of my room. He's back in record time, placing a tea towel covered ice pack lightly on my knee. Gentle. His hands were gentle and his face softer than usual as he placed my leg on top of a pillow he retrieved from his bedroom. His eyes flickered to my face every now and again as he grabbed the tissue box on my nightstand.
"Thank you." I croaked, speaking my first kind words as he showed his first act of kindness. He just nodded silently before exiting my room. Everything happened so fast I don't really remember coming down from the initial shock of pain, yet my knee still throbs and as I remove the ice pack I notice it's swelled slightly. It might not look painful, but fuck, it was. Jacob comes back in my room with a glass of water and a couple of blue pills.
"For the pain." He speaks softly, his eyes darting over my face and to my knee and back again. I take the painkillers gladly, loving the feeling of the cold water sliding down my throat.
"Thanks." I whisper, laying my head on my pillow as Jacob places the half full glass on my nightstand with the small bottle of pills. He stands there silently and I begin to feel the medication take its effect.
"Hey, Barbie?" Jacob's voice wakes me from my little trance and I look up at him. "Do you want me to take you to the living room? It will look less serious when dad and Esme get home." It made sense, and I knew me lying in bed at this time of day would make my mother worried.
"Yeah, could you…" I let my question hang and Jacob helps me to sit up before carrying me in his arms to the lounge room.
"Thanks, again." I say as he places me down on the couch, it doesn't feel as good as the bed but I don't complain. Jacob's next move shocks me further than what he had already done for me, taking the ice pack off he ever gently begins feeling my knee.
"What are you doing?" I sit up abruptly and I notice that I feel pretty much no pain as Jacob touches it, just the slight sting.
"I, uh…" Jacob doesn't seem to know how to answer me and he drops his hands away. "Sorry, I was just seeing if I did any real damage." He looks away sheepishly and I tell him to continue then. His hands go back to my knee and I watch as he massages each side gently and poking. My eyes move to his face and I watch, as he looks almost pained or sorry. Like he actually meant his words before, saying he was sorry. It amazed me and I didn't realise I was staring at his face until he looked up, about to say something, but our eyes lock. I look quickly away as his hands drop suddenly and he jumps away from me to the recliner beside the couch.
"Hey children, we're home!" Mum screams, dragging Billy in through the front door behind her and now I realise Jacob's turned on the television. He looks at me out the corner of his eye before calling out a quick 'hey' to our parents.
This afternoon would have to been the strangest yet.
Sunday was great, sleeping in, taking more blue pills and avoiding Jacob at all costs was easy. I found him stealing my door not a problem, but a fun way to spend my time after all my homework was done. I made a curtain over my door out of a blue and pink sheet I found in a box in the garage mum must have brought because it had 'Carlisle Cullen' written on it.
I could have gone running to pass the time, but my knee protested when ever I would walk quickly so that was out. This morning at breakfast my mum reminded me of our family dinner, making sure I would be there after she left for her morning shift at the hospital. I told her I'd be there, unfortunately.
So, now chilling in my car with the engine still on, keeping myself warm Jacob and I wait for our parent's to arrive. The whole day I spent avoiding him and thinking of ways I could get him back for the past few practical jokes, the final one ending up with my knee getting worse. Although he was sorry, he still had to pay. Considering he cared so much about his car he didn't want to hurt it driving it to the diner, I thought of a way to sabotage his precious little car. I smile evilly to myself in the review mirror, checking my hair. Jacob was bored and began playing with my sound system. I smack his hand away like he did to me the time I rode in his car.
"No, no. You can't touch that." I spoke in a mocking tone, only doing it to piss him off, not really caring if he ruined the sound system anyway. My father bought me this car, so it was he who would pay for the damages, the bastard deserved too. Jacob's boredom worsens and he's rummaging around in my glove box. He pulls out a white envelope and waves it in my face.
"This yours, Barbie?" He asks and I snatch it from him, throwing it under the drivers seat. I was never going to read it, but why couldn't I throw it in the bin like I should?
"Fuck, where the hell are they?" Jacob groans and I sigh in reply. Yeah, where the fuck are they? I suggest going inside the diner and at least ordering ourselves a drink and garlic bread to snack on before our parent's show up. Jacob's stomach gurgles audibly in reply and I laugh as we enter the over heated diner.
Dinner isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but every time there is a silence, Jacob and I always seem to take a quick glance at each other. I swore to never talk about yesterday afternoon to him or anyone. It was just too confusing to even begin to describe.
Throwing my car into park, Jacob swiftly thanks me for the ride before jumping out. We arrive home after our parent's as Jacob wanted to have a quick smoke before going home and I waited silently in my car till he was finished. We make our way to the house and as soon as I step inside the kitchen I wish I died in a car crash on the way home.
"Rosalie, it's for you." My mother hands me the phone and the possibility of who it could be on the phone was endless but my mind picked the worst, Carlisle. I take the phone from her and I place it to my ear, hearing nothing.
"Hello?" I answered and my mother left me in the empty kitchen to have my phone conversation in privacy.
"Rose." His voice sounded like the silence after the rain and nails on a chalkboard all in one. I swear I growled just then and my hand tightened around the cordless phone. We both fall silent and I have nothing to say to him, nothing at all.
"What do you want?" I snap and he sighs heavily before speaking.
"I want to talk." His voice is strangled as he speaks and I find my knee giving out. I slid to the floor against one of the cupboards as my stomach lurches.
"Then talk." I snap again, too tired, too drained and in too much pain to say anything else at this point in time. Where are my blue pills?
"Rose, you have to come back. I miss you. Alice misses you. Jasper misses you. Hell, even James misses you." He spits out and I can't take it, I just can't take it.
"I can't come back and you know that. Why did you call me?" I ask him, my voice faltering and I close my eyes praying to God that I won't start crying, not again.
"I needed to talk to you. Why didn't you answer my messages and emails?" He asks back and I feel like punching him in the face and I would have if it were possible.
"Maybe it's because when I left that night I swore to myself to never speak to you again, to never hurt you again." I turned this back on me, making it seem like my fault. He had to believe it, he should. It was my fault. I was the one who cheated, not him.
"Baby, I love you don't you get that? Nothing you do will make me feel different. You know you still love me. I can tell otherwise you would have hung up by now." The first half of what he said was complete and utter bullshit, the second have was the truth and nothing but. He knew me too well and he saw past my lie.
"I don't Emmett. I don't love you. I've moved on. I'm happy being single, I'm happy living here. Just please, let me be happy." I begged him and I didn't care that the tears fell now. I heard him sigh deeply and I can imagine him sitting on the edge of his bead, his head in his left hand, the phone held up against his ear with the other; the image of defeat.
"Don't lie to me, Rose. I know you better than you know yourself. Can we at least try to talk every now and again?" He sounded hopeful and I made sure to crush his hopes like he crushed me.
"No. Goodbye, Emmett." I all but threw the phone on the floor and sat there staring at the fridge for God knows how long. I sigh and wipe away the tears from my heated cheeks wishing he never called.
"Rosalie, sweetie." My mum speaks softly as she steps into the kitchen. "Oh, honey." She croons as she notices my puffy eyes and red nose from crying. She takes a seat next to me on the floor and places an arm around me. "So, it's really over between you and Em?" She asks after a few short moments of just holding me like I needed. I nod and she doesn't press information from me, just holds me like a mother should hug her daughter. It felt so nice, so warm and so comforting. But I felt weak. Although my mother was perfectly capable of showing her sensitive side around anyone and everyone, I was not. It took a lot for me to show anyone my true feelings, even if it meant hurting them.
"I'm going to bed." I informed my mother and stood to leave. She grabbed my hand and told me to have a good night's sleep. I would try.
You know you've done something drastically wrong when someone doesn't even look at you when you ask him or her a direct question, let alone answer you. I was fed up with Jacob's fucking mood swings; he would go from stupid stepbrother making silly jokes to oddly sweet and gentle Jacob the next and then to fuck head Jacob making me feel like a piece of shit.
"What's up your butt, Jacob?" I asked for what felt like the millionth time today. He doesn't answer, doesn't even flinch at my words just stares straightforward. He sits in my passenger seat as we stop at a red light, waiting for it to turn green. Last night after "going to bed" I snuck out to his little homemade garage and pulled out whatever I could get my hands on from his not-half-bad engine he rebuilt himself. It felt good to tear it apart and throw all the mixed up pieces into different drawers of his workstation. Flooring the pedal just the way my car liked to be ridden, made Jacob glower at me.
"Like I asked before; What. Is. Up. Your. Butt?" I said each word individually, making my point.
"I know it was you." He stated before winding the window down. Suddenly it got all too hot in the car for him and as I watched the rain speck on the windscreen I wound the window back up.
"My car. I know it was you who pulled it apart." He said lighter this time.
"And how do you know it was me? It could have been your dad." I added, and I knew by me asking that would have signalled that it was me. But, how did he know it wasn't his dad?
"One, my dad wouldn't do that, considering it took me about two years to rebuilt that fucking thing. Second, you're a bitch and that is what bitches do." I laughed at his very strong point and he continued to speak when I would have preferred him to just shut up. "But, I have a question; How did you know what to take out? Like, not even some of the guys at the shop would have known half the things you took out." He seemed slightly amazed and I looked at him, his eyes planted on me.
"I know cars. And I know how to build an engine, take it apart and rebuild it. Your little homemade thing is pretty impressive. Never seen anything like it. My… friend's dad," Emmett's dad. "Owned a garage like yours does and I enjoyed handling all the different tools and was amazed from a young age about the technical side of the car, like the engine and not just the fact if you turn the key and put your foot on the pedal it would go zoom, zoom." I give Jacob a look and he seems to take more interest in the trees we speed past. Maybe a little too much information. The air thickens in the car and I don't know what it is, but I switch the air-con on and turn the music up louder. But even the extra air and noise doesn't mask the strange feeling in the air.
Lunch was not good, not good at all. First, the food was crapper than last week. Second, Jacob kept taking weird looks over at the table I sat on. Third, Jacob's little girl friend was giving me greasies each time I would look up from my tray to Jacob's table. Fourth, Paul sat with us.
"Hey Rosalie." He greeted me cheerfully and placed his tray down, taking the seat next to me.
"Uh, hi." I'm caught off guard as I was listening to Seth and Claire's conversation about the party on this coming weekend. Everyone stopped speaking as soon as Paul took his seat.
"So, what are you guys talking about?" He asks us and Nessie just sits there with her mouth hanging slightly open.
"Party this weekend." Claire pipped up after a few seconds of extremely awkward silence.
"Right. Leah's holding it at your place isn't she, Seth?" Paul smiles and I just watch as Seth nods at him and silence takes over the table again. Claire's bravery picks up the awkward silence and soon she has a conversation going on between Nessie and Seth about how she visited her dad in Port Angeles on the weekend. Paul and I left in silence.
"So, are you going to go to Leah's party?" Paul asks me unexpectedly as I was half listening to Claire blabber on.
"Uh, I don't think I'm invited. Leah's been giving me death glares this whole lunch time." I point out and Paul takes a quick look at Jacob's table. He just smiles wider and gives my thigh a pat.
"You don't need an invitation. It's not like a birthday party, Leah and Seth's parent's are going away so they have the property to themselves." Paul's hand still sits on my thigh and I cross my legs, his handing dropping away. His normal happy smile drops for about a millisecond before I speak.
"If it's Leah's party, that means Jacob would be going. Don't think that would be the best idea. Besides, last time I got drunk something horrible," So very horrible. "Happened and the morning killed me." I said and I meant fucking James and the whole load of shit it caused between Emmett, James, Alice, Jasper and I.
"It's not exactly the type of party you would be used to. It's really just a bonfire, a few cheap beers and hanging out as friends. And as my friend you are invited." He gives me a quick wink with the eye the others couldn't see.
"I don't know…" I say hesitantly. Drinking + fire +boys = bad, very, very bad.
"Come on. It'll be fun. And it will give you a chance to meet a few more people from the school and some graduates from last year that still hang around." His eyes are asking, almost pleading with me.
"We'll see." I said and Paul is practically vibrating with happiness. "But…" I make sure to add in there, "It's a maybe. I still have to ask my mum and if I were to go. We are friends. Nothing more. Nothing less." Paul is a tad disappointed by this, but happy none the less and as we head back to class the party is all he is talking about.
Blue. White. White. Blue. Maroon. Red. My beautiful red car. She sat patiently in the rain all day and as the sun begins to peak through the clouds in the afternoon she is just screaming my name to ride her.
"Rosalie!" I stop abruptly and I know I've gone crazy.
"Rosalie!" Alright, so it isn't my car. I turn around quickly and I don't know who the fuck is calling out my name. "Over here!" I stop and spot Sam near the entrance to the track field. He waves me over and I step over the rain puddles to him.
"Hey." I greet him as he is sweeping water off the track, most likely getting ready for a training session.
"Hey, you busy this afternoon?" He asks and stops his sweeping, leaning on the broom.
"No, why?" I shake my head.
"Excellent. How about a quick training session? It's stopped raining and I know you'll die on Thursday as we will be doing fitness in the gym." He offers me what I know I want. But I don't think I can handle it now. My knee has stopped throbbing every time I take step, but I don't think I can risk it. Besides, I don't have my uniform.
"Sorry, Sam. I would really love to. But, I hurt my knee on the weekend and I don't want to push, you know?" My mood is really down and I want to run Jacob over with my car for stuffing my knee up further.
"Oh, right. What did you do?" He asks, picking up the broom and I follow him as he walks up to the back entrance of the gym.
"I went for a run on Saturday and took a stumble down a slope. Nothing major, just it hurt for a little bit." I explain quickly, and I can now feel my knee sting slightly as I think about it.
"Well, don't push yourself too hard. Perhaps we should focus more on upper body strength at training on Thursday. But I didn't just call you over to ask about a training session. I also wanted to apologise for last Thursday. It was wrong and I don't think it would be wise to say anything." His voice drops although no one else is even in hearing distance if we were talking loudly.
"Yeah, I understand." I nod, and turn away. Not bothering to stop when Sam calls out to me again.
The last thing I needed today was to see Jacob. I knew I had to see him, because I drove him to school. But the look on his face and the way his arms were crossed over his chest while he leant against my car said I was in trouble, big trouble. I could hear myself gulp audibly as I made my way to my car. I straightened up and pressed the button to unlock my car, ready for anything Jacob was going to throw at me.
DUH DUH DUMMMMMMMMMMM. :P Well, as I said before this chapter was very interesting to write. Hope you liked the little piece of sweet Jacob pie I served you. It was interesting was it not?
Love you all,
Alibabe xx
P.S. Reviewing is even better than sharing *giggle*