Chapter Seven

Cravings

LPOV

I would do everything right so that my family wouldn't get exposed or so that his life wouldn't get ruined. I spent the next three weeks trying to ignore him to make myself stop thinking about him. It seemed though that the more I tried the more he was present in my mind. What made me angry is that though we only had English class I still couldn't keep my eyes off of him during lunch, in the parking lot or anytime I got a chance.

When he would enter the English classroom I saw through the eyes of others and noticed that he didn't even look at me when he came into class. He would look straight ahead and if he did get a glimpse of me he would just turn his head. When he told me that he had a bruise it pained me that I had hurt him. But it just proved to me that I couldn't be close to him because I would end up hurting him or killing him.

He didn't need that; he needed someone that could touch him, someone who wouldn't break him when they tried to just remove hairs from his eyes. Someone who was warm, soft, and fragile…just like him.

He didn't need someone who felt cold or rock solid. He needed someone that he could grow old with, and give him children. Someone that just by meaning to touch him would not hurt him. I knew I should be happy that he was keeping a distance from me but I wasn't. I wanted to keep it like this though because if I was the only one that was getting hurt it was fine. I didn't want to hurt him at all.

Just like Edward with Bella, I wanted to hear his mind, I wanted know what he thought, how he felt about me. I knew it was wrong but I still craved for it even more so than I have ever craved blood. I would leave it behind if I could get a glimpse at his thoughts. I had grown so accustom to hearing everyone's thoughts, because of Edward, that I would do anything to hear his.

EPOV

I really wanted to know what she was thinking, what that head of hers was hiding from me. When she called my name that last time in Biology I almost answered but then the image of her…of becoming the monster that I myself hated made me do the right thing. I ignored her. It was what was best for her…I should be able to say that for me too but it was pure torture.

The day after I came back from Denali I had decided to control my hunger and get to decode her thoughts to keep me from feeling like killing her but after what Alice saw I couldn't let myself be close with the girl. Her brother already knew too much and if I slipped she would just be able to add to that list. I didn't love the girl, not yet anyways, and I would keep it like that. I couldn't let my world and her world collide.

Just by thinking about how much danger I could put her in left me frozen like a statue. I just didn't get how out of all of the choices out there I would end up falling in love with a human. Couldn't anything be easy for me? Anything at all that would help me with this insignificant life that I lead.

I thought the first day was going to be the hardest but I don't see why it gets worse. Shouldn't it be easier to ignore her, but her expressions, her movements, they made me curious about her. What was she thinking when she sighed in class, when she twirled her hair absent mindedly around her index finger, when she would tap her pencil against the table. But the most important what did she think about my behavior, about me?

I wish I was able to talk to her. It didn't matter if it was about things that didn't matter in the least. Her expressions and her eyes would give me all the answers I needed. Her dark blue deep eyes which seemed to go on forever; just like the ocean. Because even though she sometimes tried to hide her expressions her eyes would give her away.

Not only did I ignore her but she did the same. She ignored me just as much as I tried to ignore her. Tried because even though I felt like I ignored her I knew she was there. Sitting just a few inches away from me; close enough to touch. I knew when she made each movement, what she talked to her friends about and what she talked to her brother about. I had seen her smiling and laughing and for some odd reason it angered me that I wasn't the one who was making her smile the way she did.

And Edward says he's not in love with her yet, I doubt it. Sorry for the short chapter. Oh and if you guys want me to update sooner you would…REVIEW!