A/N: Sorry for the long update. Here it is.

Chapter 7- I'll Wait Forever

Though John and Corey promised to be on more often, it has been 3 weeks since we've talked. It feels like the process of their long leave is going to repeat...

I don't know what John is thinking. He hasn't been on enough for me to ask. I still don't know if he wants to meet me. I can either break it off or wait patiently. So far...I've been going with the latter. If I knew for a fact that there was a possibility of meeting John, of him letting me meet him, then I'd wait forever. I think John is worth every pain I've endured...especially if he one day says he'll finally meet me. I love him for who he is, for who he's presented himself to be. I know only one side of him, and I wish only to get to know and probably love his other side. I want to see his expressions; the slyness in his eyes when he makes a crude joke; the sternness of his face when concentrating; the smile he wears when things go his way; the triumph worn when he shoots and makes a basket. I want to see him...I want him.

I'd like to say that I know John is the one, but I can't; I don't know. All I do know is that I want to find out. I know that when I hear his voice for the first time and see his eyes pour into mine...I'll just know...I'll know whether or not my suffering was worth it all.

o.O.o

I don't necessarily believe in destiny. I believe in something a little different. I suppose this belief I have is intertwined with my religious beliefs, but I think many people could agree with me.

Have you ever walked past a stranger and sworn you knew him or her? Or do you have a friend that you feel you've known longer than you actually have? How do you explain those feelings? Especially when those feelings are so strong? I feel like John and I have known each other longer than a year. The feeling is distant (particularly now), that veiled memory, but I'm sure if we met, the veil could not help but be lifted. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself...but those feelings...the feelings I hold for certain people...I feel like Trent and I promised to find each other. We get along too well, and our brotherly/sisterly love for one another is stronger than the love I hold for most of the people I actually know. Why is that so? Why do I feel that I've known John and Trent since before I was born? How can these feelings of forgotten kinsmanship be explained? Your heart knows...but your head can't comprehend.

I remember reading a certain chapter in The Brothers Karamazov. The brother Ivan has a nightmare of his middle-aged devil friend. The devil tries to trick him into thinking that he knows something Ivan does not by reciting an anecdote Ivan had never heard, or so he thought. In the end, Ivan recalls having made up that anecdote at a young age, and his subconscious recalled it. But I've heard of many people who have dreamt of things they've never known about, people they've never known, events that haven't come to pass. How is that possible? Well, it's not, until you consider a life before this life here on earth is possible...

Is it so radical to believe that we lived before we came to earth? Not as a reincarnation, not as cells wandering endlessly through space, but as spirits with our Heavenly Father: a pre-mortal existence. Is it possible we learned and grew in that life before mortality? Is it possible we made acquaintances, friendships, and even loves? John once told Sammy that he felt I could be the one. Maybe that's correct, maybe not. But some people feel that way toward another person most ardently. Why? Well, is it possible that in this pre-mortal existence that two people, who were in love, promised that even though they would be separated on their way to earth, to mortality, that they would find each other and renew their forgotten love? There are some people of whom I know that were definitely meant for one another; it's just so obvious, a burning revelation in one's heart.

Scientists say we use only 10 percent of our brains. How can that be explained? Is it possible that as we were born into this mortal life that an unseen and unfelt veil was put upon our souls, rendering us unable to remember people or recall knowledge we once knew in the pre-mortal life? I think it's very possible, indeed...and true.

I can't say for sure that John and I were acquaintances in that life I've so forgotten. I'd love to make that claim, but I just do not know. But...the possibility is there, nevertheless. Is it possible that if we met, John and I could fall in love and feel we've found the missing piece to our lives? And all because of this Rune Scape...

o.O.o

The stars gracefully fell from the trees onto the ground, disappearing into nothingness. The blue skies above held romance and passion, while the surrounding green held an ambiguous sort of hopefulness. My axe swung heavily at the perfect mold of bark, the stars colliding with the wooden chips, creating a swirl of celestial dust.

A rush filled my body as I readied myself for battle. My dear friend on my right, and my love on my left. I prepared my stock of food, my potions, and my weapons. I scouted the whole of the area to check out the competition, laughing as I saw only noobs congregating. I went back to my friends, and together we conquered.

I stood with him in the graveyard, chatting incessantly about nothing and everything. My heart was content, warm and loved, and my eyes glittered with admiration and ardor. I was awake and dreaming simultaneously. My spirit was high, my worries were low, and it seemed that the moment would last forever. John told me he loved me, and I imagined his kisses fluttering across my face.

All these memories, and so many more, will be kept in my heart for the remainder of my life. Even when I'm aged old and have these memories tucked in the back of my head, I know when I reread this story, feeling and emotion will come flooding back, streaming and strong. John, this story was made for you. Even if in the end we break apart and go our separate ways, I hope this story will keep me in your heart, even for just a little while. I love you, and like with Pip and Estella, I see no shadow of another parting from you.

o.O.o

I'm standing here, in the graveyard, near the lone yew tree. I'm watching people run to and fro, and they're playing happily, I think. I keep thinking, why? Why me? Why did I have to fall in love with someone on this game? I was alright before...I was happy...but was I complete...no. John filled the empty space that has so tormented me for years. And now...I believe him to be gone. I try not to think about his absence. I try to fill my days with family, friends (Trent, mostly), and hobbies. But always I feel the emptiness. Always I find myself trying to fill the void with meaningless trivialities. Nothing seems to mollify the pain, the hurt. I don't play with the same sprite; I play with a heavy heart.

I miss him. I wish he would get on more often. I wish I hadn't scared him away. I wish many things...

For now, I'll concentrate on going to college, meeting new people, and maybe I'll find someone else...I don't want to...but I suppose I must.

I have my friends. Trent, especially. This broken heart of mine is mended by his silly jokes and cheerful disposition. I can still sing. My mother always told me that life couldn't be too bad if you were still able to sing. I still sing...

John wrote in his ignore list the other day, so I suppose he's still going to play. For how long, I know not. I'm trying to have faith, trying to be positive. It works sometimes, and other times depression overwhelms me. But I sing...

I'm standing here, in the graveyard, by the lone yew tree. I'll keep standing here until my desire has faded and fate has named its price. Which means...I'm standing here forever.

End.

A/N: I'm thinking this is the end of my story. I don't think much will happen after this, so I suppose it's safe to say that not only is this story ended, John and I have ended. I wrote this story mainly to give hope to those who are in my shoes, I guess. That, and it was nice taking a trip down memory lane. Tell me what you think, though. If you don't want this story to end, I suppose I could post whenever I come up with something, or something actually happens to me. Eh. I know I'll just miss writing this. Well, review. And thanks. Oh, ps, I would appreciate if people didn't add me on Rune Scape because of reading this story. If you want to contact me, pm me through this website only. Thank you.