Once upon a long time ago, in a land far, far away, if you would have ever told Kagome that Inuyasha, the guy she had been in love with ever since she was twelve would be fucking her in her apartment, on the counters in her kitchen, to be exact, she would have laughed in their face. But nontheless, here she was, her legs spread wide for him as he pounded into her, her moans louder than they'd ever been in her whole life.
Things had been moving fast. Things were breaking her heart and she always had shitty days, that was a usual thing. It had been three weeks now since she'd been working for him, and it was hell. "No more sex in the office," he'd told her one time when they'd been deeply in the moment, her affection for him growing. She'd been kissing his neck like the needy little bitch she was, pulling roughly at his tie as if she was clinging to it for her life, one hand already running down his chest and fumbling with the latch on his belt, and he'd broken away from her just like that. She'd asked why, but he had never bothered to tell her.
Most of the time, they had wild sex in her apartment. On the floor. The couch, even though she didn't like fucking on the couch. On her bed. In the kitchen, like now. Sometimes, they had wild sex in his apartment. But not a lot, he always came up with the silly idea that she'd want to stay. Like she'd ever want to sleep in the same bed with the guy who broke her heart. It was bad enough sleeping by herself with a broken heart.
His claws were digging into her hips, and they were nowhere near making love. But every touch was fire in her veins, and when she dared herself to look into his eyes, something about him made her feel like she was going to disappear, or maybe burst into flames. This happened all the time, the sad realization that this would always be more for her.
But she supposed she was lucky. She was in Kikyo's place, exactly where she wanted to be. She had him between her legs. But she wasn't exactly where she wanted to be, which was in his heart. In his arms, smothered by his affection. His heart was Kikyo-shaped, not Kagome-shaped. And she was nothing but a distraction, something she'd got used to being. A distraction to Kouga, to take a break from the crazy Ayame. A distraction to Bankotsu, who desired sex and only sex. A distraction to any of her other lovers. But Hojo came to mind, and she didn't know what to say.
She used to think about him when she thought she could be something, when she wanted to be something. When she wanted to make herself proud. You know, a nice, quiet boy. A heart with the size of the whole world who didn't love her for what he knew she had to offer, but simply for what and who she was. She wanted to see herself fall in love and be able to tell someone that she loved them and actually mean it. But after their night, he probably hated her, and she couldn't blame the poor guy. She'd never paid him any attention, too busy sulking over Inuyasha. Too busy worried with him. And he'd loved her, he'd really loved her.
She lost the high that Inuyasha had helped her accomplish. She descended from heaven so quickly and reality came slamming back down on her so hard she thought she might cry. He must've sensed this, because he slowed considerably and she silently thanked him. Every time she fucked him she was wrestling with demons from her past. She was so, so sad. In all ways.
She smirked, put on her award winning face that always made her get her way. If only eyes couldn't hold emotions. "I lost it," she told him simply.
She'd done this before so many times. He'd get angry, pull his clothes back on and slam the door when he left. How tired she was of men grabbing her, taking what they felt was theirs. She was tired of men who never called and who slammed the doors when they made their exit. She was too young to feel like this. She should stop this thing with him, but she couldn't. This was the closest she'd ever been to him. She knew all things came to an end, and she didn't want to think about the day that this ended. But it should. It had to. And if she had the balls to end this, that would be strength and courage.
Oh, how strength and courage depended on one another.
But real Kagome always got in the way, always wanted out. The real Kagome, with real hopes and dreams and goals. The real Kagome who smiled like she meant it and loved whole-heartledly. The real Kagome who would have never degraded herself like this. The real Kagome who knew what self-respect was. The real Kagome who had time for her family, who didn't sit in the bathtub at three in the morning crying so hard until she laughed. The real Kagome who was okay. More than okay, actually happy.
She remembered happiness, and she missed it the most. Why did happiness have to be such a temporary thing? Happiness was seeing everyone in love, but you didn't need anyone to love you, you were in love with everything. A song, a book, his eyes, God, your family. She remembered tossing her head back and laughing genuinely. She remembered sneaking out with her friends, getting drunk. She remembered the age of fifteen. It was such a sweet, sweet age, and she had taken advantage of every second of it. The boys, the flowers, the kisses, the smell of pot hanging heavily in the air. Dark fingernail polish and holding smokes between her slender fingers, heart hurting from the inside out. And she dug deeper and found the reason why there was this pain in her heart. And she saw with wide eyes and an open mind that it was Inuyasha. It had always been Inuyasha. And then, she wasn't free.
"I'm sorry," she pushed away from him, giving him a small smile, heart hurting. "Uh, you should go. I'll see you Monday. All your paperwork should be finished. Send those files this weekend and I can check-"
She was surprised when he cut her off. Not with words, but with his mouth, with his tongue. And she couldn't help it, she pressed back against him, all thoughts flying out of her head. And everything was so perfect as he traced his fingertips over her frame, making her shudder with such intensity she'd never felt before. They hardly ever kissed. He'd told her that he didn't like to kiss her. And here he was.
He was panting and he quickly took his lips off hers, and his sharp K9's traced along her collarbone, nipping at the soft skin of her neck. With both hands and his mouth still against her, he parted her legs, pushing her knees far apart. His hand trailed down, slipped between her bare folds, massaged them, his thumb pressing against her clit. She thrashed in her very spot, emitting a loud moan, and she felt him moan against her, his mouth against her cheek. And he was smirking.
She pushed him away, eyes challenging. "Listen, I told you, I lost it. So leave. Don't worry. I'll be right there in that damned office Monday as usual. So goodnight and goodbye, Inuyasha."
Before he could say a word to her, she stood to her feet, angry and frustrated and quite pissed at herself from breaking away from something that felt so good just because her stupid feelings had decided to intervene, damn it.
She was waiting for a door to slam. She rolled her eyes, jumped in the shower, rubbing at her skin until it was red, just to get his scent off of her so she wouldn't have to stay up all night, analyzing everything that had ever happened with him. She washed her hair, washed the sweat off her body. She wanted to feel new, she wanted to feel refreshed. She thought of Hojo once more. He made her feel like that, but there was no spark. Even if she couldn't find it, she decided it was better to be miserable with someone who loved her rather than be in love with someone who could never love her. Which one was worse?
Her shower was long. It gave her some time to think, to think about her feelings for him and think about why the hell they wouldn't go away no matter how badly he treated her. She couldn't think of a damn reason why. He only treated her so badly because she let him. For once, she wanted respect. And she knew she definitely wouldn't get that from sleeping with him. It was just a fuck to him. Plus, he knew that she'd gotten around since high school. That didn't help to make the situation any better. She frowned.
She knew there was something wrong with her. She thought of these things as she massaged strawberry shampoo into her scalp, and rinsed. How she wished she could rinse him away. But god, she was so fucked up. All she wanted was real love and not from just anyone, but him, preferably. Back in high school that's all she searched for. But even if she knew certain guys were only going to fuck her and never call back, she'd still fuck.
She'd known Inuyasha as long as she could remember. She'd grown up with Kikyo, with Sango, with Miroku, with Inuyasha. The mean kid. The weird one. The hanyou who was worthless, who didn't deserve to even exist. She remembered all the things people had always said about him. He's an abomination, he doesn't even deserve to be alive, he's polluting our air, choking us, taking all of our oxygen. He's a murderer, he's a liar, he will never amount to anything. He's no good, and he's a monster. His mother's no better, either, she knew of the damned creature she'd create and she'd chosen to keep it. I'll see you in Hell one day, little boy, you disgusting creature. Fuck you, you don't belong here. You didn't deserve to be born. Piece of shit.
Kagome had never believed any of those things. She remembered Kikyo's whispers in her ear. Her supposed closest cousin. Then why did Kikyo feel so far away? "I believe the things they say about him, Kagome. You can see it in his eyes."
Kagome was a strong girl back then. If her child self would have saw her right now, she'd laugh into her face for being as easy as she was, giving into pressure, giving men her body, men who didn't deserve her body.
Kagome remembered pushing Kikyo away. Befriending Yasha. Maybe it was the worst decision she'd ever made. It had changed. Kikyo caught his attention suddenly one day when Kagome had to remind herself that Inuyasha wasn't an angel, just a best friend. Kikyo had to catch his attention right when she needed him the most. Right when she realized how much it would hurt to lose him. And, fuck, the shit had hurt. Kikyo had tried, though. She'd never been very fond of the idea of her innocent baby cousin having feelings for Inuyasha. It wasn't like she'd told Kikyo. Her cousin could always see right through her, that's what it was.
"Damn it, you're taking too fucking long! Are you dead in there or somethin'?! Wench, you've been really pissing me off," Inuyasha's voice, and she didn't even jump, just simply rolled her eyes as her heart thudded in her chest. He'd waited..."this is like the third time you've done this shit! You find it fucking funny or somethin', considering the fact that you haven't let me finish in forever? Well goddammit, I'm going to have my way with you tonight."
She peeked her head out from behind the shower curtain to give him a frustrated look, she definitely didn't feel like sleeping around tonight. But then, she took him in completely, losing herself in those eyes.
His skin was slightly perspired with sweat, his hair a little damp from their ministrations earlier. His skin was golden, almost gleaming. His silver hair matted to his scalp, sticking up in a few places, though. His shoulders and abs flexed as he took a deep breath. He'd put those baggy pants on, a trail of silver hair leading right down to his crotch. He was so toned, so tanned, so strong. He was slightly thin, but not to the point where he looked weak. His face obviously made everyone who looked at it realize that god had took his precious time making him the gorgeous creature he was.
She squeezed her thighs together, trying to ignore the heat she felt rushing to her core and the powerful throb it gave. She just couldn't do this right now.
She was done with her shower, but she started shampooing her hair again, her heart beating out of her chest and she could almost feel him smirking.
She closed her eyes and sighed lightly when she felt him behind her. He pressed his hard against her ass, and against her own will, she felt herself back up against him, wanting him more than ever. He was angry, she could tell. "It's not gonna fix itself, wench," he told her softly, thrusting lightly against her and smirking into her neck when she threw her head back against him, letting out a delicious moan.
This was the first time they'd ever did anything in the shower. Why hadn't she thought about this before?
She felt his hand caressing her breasts, fingertips pinching her nipples, and he groaned like the horny dog she knew he was. She would have rolled her eyes right now if he wasn't causing her such pleasure. His hand slipped down her stomach, between her thighs, and then he was working magic.
It wasn't like she wanted to moan, it wasn't like she wanted to have her form molded against his. He turned her around quickly, sure not to kiss her lips that were just parting for a cry to escape them. His hands rested on her backside, giving it a firm squeeze before he gripped her thighs. He didn't have to wrap her legs around him, they already were.
He growled when she took his shoulder into her mouth. She was so gorgeous. Her hair was even darker if possible, her face twisted into an expression of pure pleasure as she eagerly guided him inside of her, almost too eagerly. He gave a few hectic thrusts, deciding that the penetration just wasn't deep enough, although she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. He licked the side of her cheek, his breath just a pant in her ear.
She didn't exchange any words back as dropped her, put her to her feet gently, growled and told her to turn around, bend over. She quickly agreed with his idea. She held on tight. This was so, so exotic. Water splashing against her face, bent over as she heard him groan behind her. She never knew she could ever want him like this. She should've fucked him in the shower long ago.
The first thrust he gave was so deep that she cried out his name, and he sweetly groaned hers, making her heart jump.
And then he was pounding inside of her, easily setting a pace. She cried out, wishing she could grip on to his long, long hair. She almost slipped, he growled and caught her fall, his claws digging into her hips. She groaned in pleasure at the sharp twinge of pain. What was she, a masochistic? This was what Inuyasha did to her, how crazy he made her.
Silver hair made a curtain around them and Kagome swore she'd never loved someone so much as she cooed, urging him to increase in speed, in how hard he took her. He growled her name, making her heart jump once more. She gripped on tight to the shower walls, water making it difficult to hold on, just hold on. But she wanted him. She wanted a real fuck, she wanted him to fuck her with all he felt for her. Hate, so be it. But didn't he love her, too? It was a long time ago but they had been close and they had meant the world to each other. And yet, he was so far away, even though he was pounding inside of her, his claws digging into her hips and drawing blood.
"You want me bad, Kagome," he panted into her ear as he gave her a hard thrust. She closed her eyes, tossing her head back. He had no idea how much she wanted him and he never would. She wanted his soul in his fuck. How much for his soul, anyway? She'd pay millions.
She whimpered, but she didn't stop him. He was angry, obviously. He had shown up to her apartment angry and said that he needed her right at that moment, if he couldn't have her she'd be fired. She felt as if she was sleeping with him just to succeed in her current career. It wasn't something she was proud of, but it was something she'd gotten used to. And she loved him and she wanted it to go away and never come back.
She was in pain, now, and she felt everything and she still felt so good at the same time. "Fuck," she allowed herself to cry out. His claws were covered with her blood now, and he was thrusting in and out of her quickly and roughly as if he was trying to show her exactly how much he hated her. You know the most fucked up thing about this? She loved it even if it would never last. She loved him even though he would laugh in her face if he knew.
Her hips were sore, her legs going numb. Wet skin slapping hard against hers, panting and groaning and feeling and expirmenting. God, she felt like a teenager again. Unbuttoned jeans and sneaky hands, smoke between her fingers, burning herself to hell as fast as she could because it was the only thing she'd ever known.
Wet kisses and the fondeling of her breasts, heart beating with pain, the feeling of having no purpose. Screams and moans and things that delighted her, the things that sex was made of.
This was his fuck. She'd wanted him to fuck her like how he felt, and he felt hate. "You...you and her are just alike." He panted, his breath heavy in her ear. She whimpered, sliding back into him roughly.
"I-I'm nothing like her."
He let out a dark chuckle, climaxed inside of her and let her fall to her knees just like that. "But you are."
"I'll never be like her. Never. You don't know what I've been through," her voice was shaky, eyes closed as water streamed down her face, blending in with hot tears that she hoped he couldn't smell. She hated him. But she couldn't lose this job. She didn't love Inuyasha Takahashi. How could she?
Her voice was trembling from her orgasm, and he stepped out of the shower before she did. Taking a deep breath and getting herself together, she stood to her shaky legs and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her naked body, giving herself a look in the mirror. She looked horrible. She frowned at her reflection because she looked so used-up. The look suited her well, she assumed.
She had been waiting to hear a door slam while she sat on the edge of the tub, brushed her teeth, prepared to get ready for bed. Instead, she heard him in the living room cursing. She peeked her head out and watched as he ran a hand through his wet silver hair, a frustrated look taking over his whole face as he looked out the window.
"Goddammit," he cursed quietly, pacing around for a while. Kagome couldn't help being enchanted by him. His baggy jeans hung loose on his hips, and he didn't have a shirt on. He looked slightly like a wet dog, but still very attractive. This was why she hated her life.
And then she realized what he was so upset about. There was a loud roar of thunder, the lights flickered for a second. She hated storms.
She towel-dried her hair, threw on an old pair of tight shorts and a loose, baggy t-shirt. Her hair was a mess. It was all over her face, a dark cascade of curls. Oh well. She didn't care. It was only Inuyasha. What reason did she have to pretty up when he didn't even care about her appearance unless he had to unwillingly drag her to one of his stupid little business parties? Plus, no one could ever compare to Kikyo.
"You can't stay here tonight," she told him as she walked right past him without even giving him a look. She reminded herself that she'd be thankful for it later on down the road. "Better call Sango or Miroku and let one of them come pick you up."
Inuyasha growled, shooting the wench a look which was obviously the wrong thing to do, because looking at her just seemed to make the whole situation even worse, but she was stunning. It was almost 1 in the morning and there were bags under her eyes and she still managed to look gorgeous. But then the scent hit him.
Her scent was always enticing, spicy when she was aroused, but always sweet. So when he smelled the metallic scent of blood clinging to her, he growled once more, realizing how he'd taken his anger out on her during their little tango in the shower.
"I wasn't planning on it," he told her softly. She had her back turned to him, at the kitchen counter pouring herself a glass of water. He enclosed her, sniffing at her noisily.
"What's the big deal?" She glared at him. "Uh, you're supposed to be out of here already."
He shook his head. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you should've told me," he ran a tanned hand through his damp, silver hair, looking away guiltily and awkwardly. "I...uh, I'm sorry..." Oh, the regret on his face as soon as he said those words.
She froze, turned around to meet his eyes. "You...you're...sorry? Did Inuyasha Takahashi just tell me that he was actually sorry? He finally realized that he did something wrong, that he screwed up?" She gave him a nasty smirk and he growled at her.
"Listen, you don't have to be a smartass. I was just trying to-"
"And you don't have to compare me to the love of your life everytime we fuck, nor do you have to hurt me just because she said something to you that broke your pathetic heart." Kagome snapped back, turning back around. "You're sick." She shot at him, avoiding his eyes because it would hurt too much. Fuck, she'd really fucked up this time. She hadn't meant for that to come out.
"You could never compare to her," he shot at her haughtily, daring her to turn around and meet his eyes. "You two are similar, both bitches, just like I said before. But her beauty, her grace, her ambition? You could never be her, Higurashi. Just the little cousin who was never better, who was never prettier, who never got enough attention. Now, you open your legs to any man just to get that attention you want."
His words hit her harder than she expected them to. She was supposed to be used to this by now, but she wasn't. Hot tears were on her cheeks by the time she got the courage to face him. She let him see that words were gold, that they were precious and that they hurt, too. "You're such a goddamn bastard, you know? If I don't sleep with you, if I don't give you what you want, I'm fired. And I try so hard, you know? Because I'm independent, that's one thing I dare you to say I'm not. I don't need anyone who doesn't need me and I'm supporting myself just fine. I'm not Kikyo nor do I ever want to be."
"But you're just like her!" Inuyasha proclaimed, eyes flashing red. This bitch pissed him off to the point of no return and she got under his skin so easily, and he couldn't quite figure out why.
She could have smacked him but she didn't do anything but stand there and stare at him in shock. She shook her head and laughed bitterly, turning around, fresh tears still streaming down her pink cheeks. She took a sip of her water and pulled herself back together once again. Funny, she'd been having to pull herself back to pieces so many times now that he was back home.
Her voice was strong and firm when she spoke. "I could say a lot of things about you, Takahashi. I could call you a half-breed, an abomination. You remember back when we were kids? You remember how we were best friends, how you had no one else? How everyone judged you but me? Yeah, thanks for returning the favor. And by the way, I don't open my legs for attention. I get plenty of attention without doing that. But that's how I live my life, and frankly, how I live my life is none of your fucking business. Don't forget to shut the fucking door on your way out."
He watched her stumble into her bedroom, eyes still damp from the words he'd said and probably from the pain she felt in her hips. He shook his head to himself, letting her words sink in without any intentions. He'd hurt her, physically and emotionally.
Fuck, the storm was getting worse. Outside, the rain was so heavy that it seemed to shake the whole apartment, or maybe he was shaking from anger. He didn't know. It pounded on the roof and shook him from the inside-out, and he suddenly felt guilty. It was new moon. He could feel himself growing weaker, emotions weighing him down. And if he didn't heal the cuts he'd left on her skin, he'd have to do it later. But that was the problem. She wouldn't want to be near him, but he felt obligated to help her physical pain even if he couldn't help with her emotional pain. Whatever she was upset about before, he'd certainly made it twice as worse, he could hear her held-back cries from the bedroom.
The lights flickered again and he felt conflicted. If he stayed and helped her, he might now have been getting home at all. He really did feel like a jerk, though, so he sighed and knocked on the door.
All crying stopped abruptly and when she opened the door for him, her eyes were red and puffy and damp and held so many volumes of emotion that he cringed at the sight of those big brown eyes that were usually so happy.
She didn't say anything, just crawled back on the bed. "You can sleep on the floor. It's getting pretty bad out there."
He smirked. "The floor, really?"
"Well," she spoke, her voice extremely soft, "I definitely wouldn't take that couch as an option considering all the acts that have been performed on it. And plus, the floor kinda seems to suit you better."
He chuckled darkly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her room was neat, clean, organized. But it reminded him of a teenage girl's bedroom, it always did. Her walls were lavender, she hung up lights around her bed, and most of the time, candles were always burning. They supposedly helped to 'relax' her. She had various posters and pictures hung up on her walls, and her bed frame was white, the sheets on her bed were a darker purple with pink stripes. Would Higurashi ever grow up?
He sighed. "Listen, like I said, I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away."
She scoffed, folding her arms under her breasts. "Yeah, you did. It hurts like a bitch, by the way, Takahashi. Thanks a great deal."
He simply rolled his eyes at her immaturity and sarcasm, and in seconds he was tugging at her shorts.
She gasped and squirmed away from him in protest, and he growled. "Listen, bitch. If I don't help you now, your wounds could get infected. You don't want that, do you?"
Mouth agape and big brown eyes even wider, she shook her head slowly and watched him cautiously, flinching and wincing when he pulled her shorts down as if she was scared he was going to hurt him. Was it because she knew that was all he was good for? Was it because she knew he was a monster? No, he shook his head. Kagome was the one person who'd never betrayed him. Sure, they didn't have a friendship anymore and maybe they hated each other, but she'd never judge him. She'd seen the things he'd been through, she had been there through almost everything..
And as he tentatively stuck a tongue out to lick languidly at her wounds, hoping his demon was strong enough at least for right now to help her, he thought of guilt. Wasn't it a universal emotion that somehow connected everyone? Didn't it make people come together? Well, he felt it more than anything else right now all because of this damn new moon. Felt guilt for comparing her to Kikyo, felt guilt for all the petty shit he'd done to her and he felt as if he needed to make up for it.
Dammit, he had to get away.
But he didn't. Things got hot and heavy when the sweet scent of her arousal hit him full on. Wasn't she always wet for him, though? Why was it so okay for them to fuck but hate each other at the same time?
Kagome barely noticed that the licking had turned to kissing, barely even noticed as he slipped her panties down, barely even noticed the way her hands automatically reached to grasp into his long, silver hair for her own life as she let out a scream as soon as his tongue entered her already wet entrance. Legs spread wide, she let him devour her and then some more.
Face breaking out into a sweat, her knuckles turned white from her grip on the bed sheets. She'd switch every so often to pulling his hair to gripping the sheets, because she didn't want to hurt him by pulling at his scalp. Her moans shamed her, but they were almost louder than the thunder outside that seemed to shake her whole apartment, that seemed to shake her up inside.
"W-what are you doing?" she practically screamed out. She hadn't been expecting this.
His tongue ran slowly up and down her clit, making her shiver. Lightning striked. Thunder bellowed and lights flickered when he looked up too meet her eyes, the smirk on his lips was devilish. His darkened eyes told her that he was sorry, and she cooed.
Cooed, cried out, moaned, screamed out his name when the time was right. The rain seemed to pour even harder outside, and she knew that this was wrong. So, so wrong, and what was even worse was the fact that she hadn't told anyone anything. She hadn't told anyone that it hurt even more to have a half of him because she wanted the whole of him so desperately.
Desperate. She pulled at his hair anyway, hips bucking up into his face.
Passionate. He stopped, laid on his back, his erection jutting thick and proud into the air. She crawled atop of him, dark hair tickling his cheeks as she kissed and licked and nipped at his neck. "I'm not done with you," he breathed out.
Bravery. She wanted to try something new. Laying her wetness atop of his mouth, he knew exactly what to do. She rode his tongue until she saw stars, until he took her to the clouds, to the moon, to Jupiter, Pluto, Venus, and as he took her back down to earth.
When she thought she couldn't handle pleasure anymore, he proved her wrong. Careful of her wounds, he grabbed her hips and positioned her exactly where he wanted her to be. Moaning probably from pleasure and exasperation, she eagerly guided his length inside of her, slammed down so hard she saw stars once more.
And then, she started moving. "Fuck," he cursed, gripping on to her hips for his dear life. Sweat began to form at his brow and when he opened his eyes, his sweet little vixen was right on top of him, using him. "Fucking use me all you want, just like that."
She bit her lip and her head lolled back with a jerk, and she roughly gripped her own breast, massaging it just as roughly as she moaned for him and only him. As she moved for him, as she cried out for him. "U-use me. C'mon," he cried out. No one had ever made him cry out the way Higurashi did, and he hated her so much for that.
And she was wet, wet as the fucking ocean. And she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen as she used him. It pleasured him, the thought of her using him. And they were wild for the night.
She moved faster, obviously nearing her climax. And he was nearing his, too. He thought about the thunder and the rain, and how she was right here, keeping him warm from it all. He shot up, smashed his mouth against hers and something exploded inside of him when she screamed into his mouth. And with one final and extremely hard thrust into her hips, something really did explode. He fell back, feeling as if he'd fallen to pieces. And she fell atop of him, breathing harder than she'd ever breathed in her life.
Maybe it wasn't so bad, the fact that she was here with him keeping him warm from the things outside, from the things that hurt him, as he kept her warm from Kikyo. His phone was ringing, and he knew it was her.
Lightning struck, lights went off, but he stayed where he was.
"Don't you dare move," Kagome hissed, having already made herself comfortable in this position. "I'll fucking murder you, Takahashi."
He could feel himself growing weaker into something he didn't want to be, and he didn't want to share this moment with Kagome, of with anybody. He felt himself getting tired. She'd worn him out. He hated to admit it, but he was sure he couldn't handle her ferocity in his human state.
Claws disappeared, silver hair turned as dark as night, icy, golden, amber chips turned into a color almost similar to hers. And she was watching intently, he could feel it.
So he looked at her tiredly, the thought that she was just like Kikyo stuck in his head. But she didn't look at him in disgust, her eyes told him that she understood, that she wasn't judging him. Maybe she wasn't what he thought her to be.
"Stay with me, please." She told him quietly.
No, she didn't mesh her body with his. But she held on to him tightly, and he didn't know whether it was because she felt scared or because she knew he needed comforting when he was like this. But she held him all night and she didn't let go.
And she was keeping him warm from Kikyo.
He thought he loved her for a minute, but it was just a thought.
Higurashi? Hell no.
But still, she kept him warm, and for the first time in a while, he didn't have to toss and turn to get himself to sleep.
XXXXX
He woke up to the sound of his phone going off beside of him. But he didn't want to move, he felt warmer than he'd ever been. Sunlight was pouring through the blinds, finally making him open his eyes. He felt something on his skin as soft as feathers, and when he finally gave recognition to what it was, he rolled out of the bed in a hurry and landed on the cold wooden floor with a loud thump. But he wasn't a weak human anymore. He was back to the strong hanyou he'd always been.
"Shit," he cursed, looking up at Kagome in alarm. She was still sleeping peacefully, thank god. He hurriedly reached for his phone, looking to see who was calling him in a mad rush.
Kikyo.
Gulping, his heart sped up for a while as he stared at her name on his phone. Her picture, still beautiful as ever and still frozen in his mind.
"Hello?" he whispered as quietly as he could, quickly pulling on his jeans and throwing his shirt on. Cursing to himself, he quietly closed Kagome's bedroom door, almost tripping over his jeans as he snuck into the living room.
"Inuyasha?" Kikyo had the voice of an angel when she wasn't arguing with him all the time. Her voice still held emotion and he rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, deciding that it was way too early in the morning for her to have his heart starting and stopping the way it was.
"Yeah, I'm here," he told her in an extremely hushed voice. Fuck, he could practically smell her curiosity and she was about 3,000 miles away from him. His heart clenched as he felt a wave of nostalgia rush over him. She was the closest thing to home he'd ever have but she couldn't be his everything anymore. Things never worked out. "What's up?"
"Why don't you tell me what's up. You sound alarmed, and hushed. What're you doing, Inuyasha?" He heard Kikyo ask this with volumes of emotion in her voice and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He pulled up his jeans the rest of the way, looking out of the window, distracted.
What would she do if she found out about Kagome?
"I just woke up. I'm tired. What else do you want to know, Kikyo?" He asked her rather rudely. But she should know that he'd never been a person, never had been one for interrogations, either.
"I...I just wanted to know. I-I didn't call for an argument, okay?" he heard her sigh deeply, her voice suddenly turning sad. "Listen, I just really, really miss you. And I wanted you to know that. I...Yash, you know how I feel."
Of course he knew. Because she was just like him, she didn't know how to say what she felt. And that's why they never got along, but it made them keep trying. Made them never want to give up on each other. But she broke his heart and he broke hers. So in a twisted way, he kinda thought they deserved each other.
But if she knew about Kagome...
But Kagome was not Kikyo. Kikyo wasn't self-destructive, Kikyo made mistakes but she accepted them. Kikyo respected herself, Kikyo was beautiful in every single aspect. Kikyo didn't drink and drink until she couldn't think, Kikyo didn't give things up so easily. Kikyo knew where she was going in life and Kikyo...he loved her.
"I miss you too," he mumbled into his phone, eyes closed and heart beating slowly as he let the feelings consume him like they always did. "I love you."
"Inuyasha," she whispered, voice emotional. He felt honored to make the strong Kikyo break down into pieces for him. "Yash, I love you too. You know that, right? Just...please don't do what I think you're doing."
His eyes shot open and he growled, the sound emanating deep from within his chest. And then he caught himself, realizing that Kagome was still asleep and that he had no intentions of waking her up. That way, he could leave without a word, show her that he regretted everything that happened last night because he did. And it was supposed to be that way and it always would, because he could fall in love with the face of death before he ever fell in love with the other Higurashi girl.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He asked angrily and quietly, his teeth gritted together, fangs baring.
He expected her to come back hard because she was Kikyo and that's what she did. She came back as hard as she could to prove to him that she'd never be below him, that she'd never be the one to be intimidated by him. But her voice was weak and he suddenly felt like he was losing her. "Who're you fucking, Inuyasha? I know you, I know when you're lying and when you're keeping something a secret, I know how you are. So enlighten me, please."
"I'm not fucking nobody," he said with a growl. "Why're you asking all these fucking questions? Why do you think I've been fucking someone just because my voice quieter than usual? Maybe I didn't fucking expect you to call. Maybe I didn't expect you to tell me that you fucking miss me. Fuck, am I loud enough for you now, Kikyo?"
He had forgotten that Kagome had been sleep. When she walked into the room, standing quietly where the door was with her arms folded under her breasts, he didn't even notice her.
He heard her sigh. She didn't sound like Kikyo and guilt rushed through his whole body. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, alright? Would it be better if I asked you how things are going?"
He found himself tapping his foot impatiently. Both her and her fucking cousin aggravated him to no end. "I'm doing fine, but Kikyo-"
He wanted to get off the phone. Stop her from breaking his heart, and then he thought about how warm Kagome was last night. How she'd made it all go away, and he wanted to be back in her arms, fucking her how he felt again.
This was not an addiction, she was not an addiction, but admitting that to himself scared him.
"I've been good, what about-" Inuyasha asked, only to be cut off.
"How's Kagome doing?" Kikyo asked.
Inuyasha sighed, wondering why the topic had changed to Kagome so quickly. He wouldn't freak out though. Kagome was the cousin she'd grown up with.
"I don't talk to her much. But from what I can tell, she's self-destructive, a little fucked up in the head, a bit of an alcoholic. And she's fucking Kouga, she lives on the wild side. But some things never change, you know?"
"Yeah," his ex-girlfriend mumbled over the phone. "Some things never change. But I'd better let you go, you know? Good luck, I hope I'll see you soon."
"Yeah," he muttered. "Goodbye."
"Listen, Yash, I love you, okay?" She said this quietly and it was too early for him to be feeling this guilty.
"I-I love you too. But I'm about to go, alright? I'll text you later on." He said, his voice gruff to cover up any emotion. Before she could get another word out, he hung up, taking a deep breath.
"Well, you obviously know more about me than I do, huh?" He heard her little voice speak up, and it was broken. He hadn't even realized she'd been standing there.
He looked at her, fire in his eyes. "You shouldn't have been listening if you didn't want to hear the truth."
He watched as her eyes watered. But she closed them, gained her composure and stood straight. "The truth? Oh, did you tell her that we've been fucking? Because that is the truth, right? And by the way, I'm not fucking Kouga anymore. And I'm not self-destructive. You don't even fucking know me, Inuyasha."
He growled, really not pleased with the way she was speaking to him. "I don't want to know you. Not anymore, Higurashi. You know what? What the fuck am I still doing here anyway?"
Her voice was crumbling and he could hear her heart hit the floor. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out, you jerk!"
Her voice was strong. But he could hear it tremble. He wasn't stupid.
He slammed the door on his way out.
XXXXX
Two days had passed since their little incident, and Kagome definitely didn't feel like going back to work this Monday to deal with the awkward tension she was surely feeling.
But there she was in his office. She'd decided to wear a baggy pair of slacks today, a loose, but neat-looking shirt. Her hair was up in a bun, no jewelry adorned her, and she wore minimal makeup, hardly any at all. She was sure she looked like shit, and since it was a humid and hot day, she was sure her hair was all out of place.
She didn't fucking care. Couldn't the day just be over already?
She opened the door to his office without knocking, a brown paper bag in her hand with a bagel inside, coffee in her other hand. Black, no sugar, strong. Just the way he liked it.
She had planned on not really giving a fuck about anything today, but when she saw him sitting there looking over papers and answering calls, her heart missed a few beats and she thought that it would just stop beating all together, but it didn't. She thought of high school. She thought about how he was just as gorgeous as he was back then.
Why did she even get out of bed at all today?
She took a deep breath, took fast steps forward to his desk, sat his breakfast down in front of him and her heart broke when he didn't even bother to look up at her. She would never admit that to herself, though.
"The fax machine and the phone has been going off ever since I stepped into this damn place. You already know what to do." He told her quietly, still not looking up at her.
She simply nodded her head, even though he wasn't paying a bit of attention to her.
With a sigh, she began her long, long day.
The tension in the room was thick, the silence so loud her ears were ringing loudly. She was thankful for every call, that way she could avoid the silence, get it off her mind.
She checked the clock on the wall. She could hear it ticking when she really focused. The phone rang and she nearly jumped out of her seat, and froze when she heard a wicked chuckle come from Inuyasha.
Taking another deep breath (she seemed to be taking a lot of those) she answered the phone, her voice shaky. "Hello, this is Takahashi Corp. This is Kagome speaking, how may I help you?"
She was not prepared for the voice on the other end. "Hello, Kagome? What're you doing im Yasha's office? You...you're working for him?"
She froze. The last thing she needed was her over-protective, jealous, hypocritical, bitch of a cousin knowing that her baby cousin had fucked her boyfriend. It took her a while to gain her composure, her head was racing with lies.
"K-Kikyo?" Fuck. Her voice was shaky. This wasn't a good morning. She heard Inuyasha growl, heard him moving towards her. Before Kagome could come up with a lie to tell her older cousin, Inuyasha snatched the phone from her, causing her to whip around and glare at him.
"Kikyo, what do you need?" He asked her, so much concern and warmth in his voice that it broke her heart once again. She wouldn't admit that, either.
She listened to them quietly, moving towards the door he'd walked outside of so he could talk to his ex-girlfriend in private. She crouched down, ears straining hard to hear what was to be said.
"Kikyo...I've said it a thousand time...don't call my work phone...What do you mean you want to talk to Kagome...not doing anything, I swear...if you want to believe I'd fuck your baby cousin behind your back, go ahead...don't you dare start crying..." She only heard bits and pieces of the words he was exchanging back. She leaned in a bit more, trying to hear him better, and she cursed quietly when the door squeaked. She heard Inuyasha get silent for a moment.
"This is why we never get anywhere, you always assume things...do you really think I'd be fucking your baby cousin when there's plenty of better options?"
She didn't know whether to be mad, sad, upset, disgusted. How should she feel?
"So you're coming in next week? Okay, I promise I'll make plans for us..." he paused, she had obviously interrupted him. "Trust me, she's nothing to me. We're not even friends no more, and since you're wondering why she picked up, she's my replacement secretary for now until we find a better one, which I'm sure we will soon...and yes, Kaede fired her...Yeah, I know, she can't keep a job...I don't know how your mom is doing, uh, I don't really speak to her...Yes, Kikyo, I promise I'm not fucking anybody, and even if I was what business of yours would it be?"
Kagome shook her head, frowning.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you next week, make sure you're here...I have to go, I have work to do, call me later...I love you too, Kikyo...Bye."
Kagome hurriedly rushed back to her desk. Her hands were shaking. How should she feel?
How should she feel?
Deep breaths, calm yourself, don't say anything that could make you lose your job.
"You know, eavesdropping really isn't polite. I thought you were raised better than that, Higurashi. But looking at you now, you look and act like wolves raised you," he bit out at her, obviously mad at Kikyo. Her heart accelerated, and her face turned red, but she said nothing.
"And dress better when you come into my office. This job doesn't require looking poor." Inuyasha spat at her, and she still didn't say anything.
Because that was it, she was absolutely done with Inuyasha Takahashi. Done trying, done fucking him, done hurting over him.
She always hoped for the day he would cross the line so she could handle no more, be pushed to the limit, have no choice but to stop loving him.
This was the day.
She didn't say a word back to him, just continued to look over his documents. But she could feel it deep inside, something she was so accustomed to. Pain. Oh, how he caused her pain. But the pain had never been this bad.
She felt like she'd never meant anything, like there dead friendship didn't make an impact on his life like it'd made on hers. The words on the screen were blurry and tears threatened to fall.
"Say something back, dammit!" He growled, in her ear now. He spun her chair around so she was facing him, and her emotions were on display and she was sure he knew now how much his words hurt. His face softened for just a split second, then hardened again and he was angry, grabbing at her shoulders, claws digging into her soft and sensitive flesh. She didn't bleed, though. "Say you hate me, Higurashi," he hissed out. "Fuck, just admit it!"
She shook her head at him. She didn't know what she was doing, but she went with instinct. Her hand cupped his cheek. Eyes locked on his. Heart racing away in her chest from anger or for a love that didn't want to die. But the flame was about to go out, or at least she hoped it was. At least he was here. At least she didn't have to miss him. At least she was still alive. "I don't hate you. You...you used to mean the world to me. That never goes away. You've changed so much, Inuyasha."
He looked at her, confusion and lust in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, he was trying to be a man when he was acting like a boy. It was something of a pity to see Inuyasha Takahashi all grown up now, but to see him still be a boy because he didn't know how to be a man. His lips were so close to her own.
Before she knew it, his lips were pressed against hers and she hadnt been expecting this. His kiss was as gentle as ever, his lips so soft against hers. Her hands knotted into his silver locks, and without breaking the kiss, he pulled her to her feet, slammed her against the wall so hard she broke away because all breath left her body.
She heard him growl, it was as soft as his hair against her cheek, as soft as the things he was making her feel. Her legs wrapped tight around him and she hoped she could unlove him, hoped she wouldn't feel anything, but he made her feel everything.
She gasped as he ran a hand down her side, up to her chest, cupping a breast. Her mouth opened wide in a silent moan as he began kneading her breast through her shirt, wanting more, more, more. He took this opportunity to stick his tongue in her mouth, searching it fully and moaning softly against her lips, causing her to moan, too.
And then she realized that this was a boy, not a man. A boy he selfishly took what he thought he deserved, a boy who screamed at her for his own problems, a boy who used her, a boy she gave everything to but he refused to give it back.
She broke away, panting. She gave him a weak smile, tears making her vision blurry but that didn't stop her from seeing the pain in his eyes that was deeper than she could ever be able to understand. He'd hurt her, Kikyo had hurt him, and she couldn't do this anymore. "I-I'm sorry, Inuyasha."
He bit out a rough chuckle. "You...you're sorry?"
"I'm sorry she keeps hurting you," Kagome explained, still panting. His eyes were hazy and he stared at her before leaning in to kiss her neck and she nearly gave in.
"I don't want to. Inuyasha, I don't wanna do this, not right now." Kagome told him, nearly choking on her own words. What if she regretted them later? But she couldn't regret these words, they would keep the pain away. "I can't do this right now."
"You..." he took a deep breath, still panting harshly. He gently lowered her to the ground, but she was still cornered by him. "What do you mean you cant do this right now?"
"It's Kikyo...I can't keep doing this to her. I can't. I know you don't think highly of me at all, but I'm not that kind of girl." Kagome told him gently.
"Kikyo?" He growled out. "Bullshit. You're about to cry."
"I'm leaving now, okay? I really don't feel well. I know you need me, but you can make it through one day without me, right?" She asked him timidly. She wasn't being herself at all.
"Of course I can," he muttered. "I know I'm a jerk. I know you feel bad. But...you don't understand, Higurashi," he still couldn't call her by her real name, the name he used to know so well. "But you're bullshitting me."
"I'm not," she told him gently. "I'm going through something, Inuyasha. Something terrible. I really don't feel well."
He nodded, looking quite dumb.
She smiled appreciatively. "Thanks for understanding, Inuyasha. I'll be back tomorrow, and once again, I'm sorry."
She left, wishing that she didn't love anybody anymore.
But you wanna know something amazing, something that gave her pride? She didn't let one goddamn tear escape that day.
A/N: Long time, no see. I'm so busy and tired all the time it's crazy. My computer still isn't working, so I'm still copying and pasting from my iPod. I hope I get go update more soon. Anyway, review if you hated it and review if you loved it, too. Tell me your ideas, what you think should happen, etc. Hope to see you all again soon.