Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Lucasfilm. My only profit from writing this story was awakening the force within myself! The entire story is written, so I'll be posting as quickly as I can edit. Please review, fav, or follow if it speaks to you.
Note: There are many, many sex scenes to come. Please don't be discouraged because this 'promise' didn't call for one. This story is rated M for a reason. Be patient, darlings.
They were now lovers - in nearly every sense of the word. After she had given herself to him, any of the remaining barriers between them had dissolved. What had seemed like an interminable prison sentence at the outset - six long weeks in space - now seemed like the blink of an eye. There could never be enough time to know her, to show her his love.
After that first night, they had quickly settled into a comfortable shipboard routine. He and Chewie would work on repairs, sometimes requesting their stowaway's help when it was needed. Leia really did take an interest in the Falcon, getting up to speed on her inner workings through various chores and the manuals on his datapad.
When they weren't occupied with the laundry list of repairs, Chewie would teach her bits and pieces of the Wookiee dialect. It didn't surprise him in the least that she was a quick study. She brought a whole new meaning to the term Teacher's Pet, charming the Wookiee in her own right. Chewie had always been encouraging of his feelings for her, even before he'd admitted them to himself, but now he seemed to have developed a real affection for the errant royal.
And so, they lived, from meal to meal, from repair job to vocabulary lesson, blissfully tucked away from the waiting world. Of course, there were other things that occupied their time.
Leia was an eager and ardent lover, quickly shedding her mantle of inexperience. Just as she was with him in the kitchen and with Chewie in her lessons, she was a fast learner.
They explored every inch of the other's body, spending long sleepless nights entwined in each other's embrace. The other bunks went untouched, silent witnesses to the lovers in Han's far from spacious nook. But, the lack of space didn't seem to matter as they could never seem to get close enough. There were nights he forgot which limbs were his and which were hers.
The life they'd had before this trip seemed a million lightyears away. He almost had a hard time recalling a point when she wasn't his. Because that's how it felt now, that they belonged to each other no matter what might come to pass.
There was only one sore spot in this entire situation. The topic of what might happen when they rejoined society lay just beyond the periphery of their happy bubble. They hadn't broached the subject again, not after that first afternoon on the sultan's couch. He thought they both could sense that it would pierce their happiness, fill their newfound clarity with cloudbursts of doubt.
He didn't want to leave. Never had that option been less tolerable. But the facts of the situation hadn't changed. He was still a wanted man, and as long as he failed to deal with that fact, he'd be a danger to the one person he loved most.
Love.
Perhaps there was one other sore spot.
Despite surrendering herself to him in every other sense, she still had yet to say the word. Oh, she'd tell him she loved things about him. That she loved their time together. That she loved the damn ravioli he'd cooked her. But she never said the three little words that had fallen out of his mouth their first night on board.
He knew she was scared. Scared of what awaited them when they got to Bespin. Scared to ask him what he would do when they got there. But, it didn't keep the fact of her omission from sticking in his heart every time he thought of it.
He'd never been one to wait. Especially for a woman. Usually women would be waiting on him. Waiting for a commitment that would never come. So, it was strange to find himself in this position now, waiting on her.
"Hey you," her voice tickled his ear. She swooped in from behind his shoulder and dropped a kiss on his cheek.
It was crunch time now. They were three days from their destination. He could feel the tension mounting between them, but appreciated her effort at lightness all the same.
"What do you think of this?"
He was sketching a diagram, toying with an improvement to the environmental system. After all her study over the last few weeks, she'd developed a pretty good eye for what might work.
She glanced at the drawing, admiring his handiwork.
"Do you think you have time to do it now?" she asked, then immediately continued away from the unpalatable subject, "I suppose if I help you and Chewie, we could make some progress."
Her hand was on his shoulder, then dipping into his shirt, stroking the soft hair that started just below his collarbone.
"Maybe," he sighed, no longer caring about a useless diagram.
He felt her chin on the top of his head as her arms slid around him. Then she was burying her face into the crook of his neck, seeming to breath him in.
"Let's just keep going," she said, a painful longing evident in her muted voice.
He let out a long, pent-up breath.
"And where would we go, Princess?"
He hadn't used that moniker in a while. In fact, he had dispensed with most her nicknames finding that he couldn't say her name enough. It had become his favorite sound in the world.
She nipped his neck, silently chiding him for his lapse.
"Anywhere," she sighed.
He frowned, almost carried along with her. But there wasn't anywhere in the universe they'd be safe from Jabba's hunters. Not to mention the entirety of the Empire. And they both knew it.
"What will you do…" her voice was louder now, next to his ear, "when we get to Bespin?"
The question they avoided. The question he hated.
"Leia…" he knew she could sense where this was going because her arms abruptly disappeared and she came marching around to the front of the table.
"Han," she said dangerously.
And here it was, the moment of truth, the moment they both knew she had been waiting for.
"You know what I have to do, what we both have to do."
"Remind me," she all but growled.
He took a breath, steadying himself for the onslaught.
"We'll make our repairs, should take a day or two, then we'll hook up at with the rebels at the rendezvous…"
"And then?" she was intent, like a lioness stalking her prey.
He paused for a moment, basking in her terrible beauty.
"And then I go," he said simply.
Her visage cracked just a little. The angry fire flickering in her eyes.
"How can you say that? After all of this…?"
Her eyes were shining now, he couldn't decide if the fire would burn up the water or if the water would douse the flame.
"Because our reality hasn't changed," they'd taken to using words like this now, without thinking, without fear.
"No," she said savagely, "that's your reality, Han. My reality is that I can't," she sucked in a frantic breath, "I can't—"
Her breath was coming in quick inhalations, too quickly he realized. She brought her hands to her chest, eyes wide and blank as she tried to get a handle on her struggling system. He realized with a sudden panic that she was hyperventilating.
He was at her side in a moment, his hands vigorously stroking her back, murmuring words of comfort and encouragement. She looked at him wildly, the water winning out, flooding forth from her eyes. He pulled her close, tucking her head underneath his chin, clutching onto her shuddering frame like a space walker to his tether.
"Leia, Leia…" he whispered against her hair, his heart breaking for her even as it was cracking in its own right.
A somewhat feral sound emanated from her tiny frame, but she kept clinging to him, breath starting to attempt its normal rhythms.
"I'll come back," he said, his voice taking on the hypnotic lilt of a nursery song, "I'll make a deal. I'll talk my way out of it. I can always do that…"
He was having sincere doubts on that front as he held his greatest verbal sparing partner in his arms. But, he didn't know what else to say, to himself or to her.
"He'll kill you," she moaned, sounding every bit like the teenager she'd been a few short years ago.
"I'm worth a lot more alive than dead, sw—" he stopped himself, knowing a nickname would only set her off again.
"Your worth more to me," she said, not attempting any sort of sweetness only stating the simple fact like the pragmatist she was.
"And you don't know what that means…" he said, feeling like he was in uncharted water. "I've never had anyone to fight for. Not before you and the kid." Gods, he hadn't thought about Luke in what seemed like forever. He hoped the young Jedi was alright.
Her face was pressed against his chest so close he wondered how she could breathe at all.
"l will do everything in my power to come back to you. I love you," he said, finally at a loss for what else he could possibly say.
Leia pushed away, gently but firmly. She looked up into his face with chilly eyes. He was startled by the change, unaccustomed to the cold after so many weeks of warmth.
"You say that."
And without a backward glance, she turned away, purposely heading toward a part of the ship where he knew she didn't want him to follow. He imagined she was going to their cargo hold, the secret place they went when it was too late to be in bed and to early to start again.
He lifted his hands to his face, attempting to scrub away the tumult inside. He'd known that was coming, hadn't he? So why did it hurt so damn much now that it was here?
The clouds here were orangey red, reminding him unpleasantly of the pink swath around Ord Mantell. But now instead of leaving the clouds behind, he was traveling deeper into their fiery hue. He felt the oddest sensation, a tugging at the edge of his subconscious.
Turn around.
He'd had enough of that from Leia. The closer they got to the planet the more she turned her ire away from him and toward their destination. It felt wrong, she said. Something was off.
Though he was relieved to have a scape goat as their time together drew to a close, he also didn't appreciate her consuming doubts. Didn't she know that he would never take her somewhere he thought was truly dangerous?
It was true, they didn't have a lot of options, but Han was certain that Lando would take them in. They may have been rivals, but along with that competition had come a real camaraderie. Besides Chewie and before Luke and Leia, he'd been one of the smuggler's only friends.
"…landing permit?"
He was used to this kind of red tape and answered in a measured, but mirthless tone.
"No, I don't have a landing permit. I'm trying to reach Lando Calrissian."
Lazer bolts immediately hit the Falcon.
"Whoa! Whoa! Lemme explain!"
Maybe he should have gone with humor.
"I thought you knew this person," Leia charged, icily.
[Perhaps he hasn't forgiven you for seducing his mistress.] Chewie hooted.
Han almost cringed, knowing the Princess could most likely understand, "Well that was a long time ago, I'm sure he's forgotten about that."
"Permission granted to land on Platform 327."
"Thank you," he said with palpable relief, "Nothing to worry about. We go way back, Lando and me."
"Who's worried?" Leia quipped, not bothering to cover the aggravation in her tone.
The ridiculous looking cruisers continued to flank the ship's sides, allowing the Falcon to complete its decent into the floating city. It had been a long time since he'd been here. He supposed it would have been the fateful game that won him his ship and Lando his city.
Leia stayed standing the whole descent, as if ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. He supposed he should be flattered by her obvious trust in his piloting skills. He wasn't.
She rocked forward slightly as the landing gear hit the tarmac beneath.
"Here we go…" her voice held a darkness he didn't like one bit.
"That's right, Princess," he answered back irritably, their recent, lustrous lovemaking all but faded from his mind.
They'd held each other in the last hours before their approach, for once throwing the rules of decorum out the window. Leia had always insisted they keep regular hours out of respect for Chewie. But, it was sometime in the middle of that last day when they found themselves in the afterglow of another mind-blowing communion.
He'd never had sex like this. He'd certainly been around and enjoyed himself at every turn. But this was different. All that stuff they said about love…it seemed to be true. When they came together like this, it wasn't just pure lust though there was that in abundance. It also held the essence of that first afternoon in the cargo hold, the feeling of souls blending just as much as bodies.
He shifted uncomfortably, not used to entertaining such thoughts. But, he pulled her closer all the same. He could get addicted to this. He was addicted to this. He hated to think about what would happen when his supply was cut off. Like any spice trader, he'd seen what withdrawal looked like. It definitely wasn't pretty.
If she would only say it. He was somehow sure those words from her lips could sustain him to Kest and back.
"Leia?"
She stirred against him, not answering with words but with a soft, drowsy hum.
He should really let her sleep. She'd been so anxious, so testy, the last couple days. The only relief she seemed to get came in these moments after they'd claimed each other all over again. She'd sleep then, able to forget the reality that was rushing towards them with every passing moment.
But he was a selfish jerk, he'd always known that.
"Do you trust me?"
It wasn't the question he wanted to ask, but it was as close as he could get.
She was silent and he wondered if she'd gone after all. But then her hand moved, stroking his chest and slipping around his middle, so she was pressed against him even tighter.
"I want to."
He lifted his head and looked at her, not liking that answer in the least.
All he could see was the top of her head, curled into his chest. Her little sigh swept across his abdomen.
Was that why she wouldn't say it? Something told him trust was a major component of love.
"You've saved my life more times than I probably know. You've been there for me, for Luke, for the Rebellion. But…"
"What?" He slid down so he could look her in the eye. She scrunched her face as if to obscure her true feelings before diving into his neck. Wrapping his arms around her, he stroked her back, waiting for her to continue. Her voice drifted up, slightly muffled by his skin. But the vibrations struck him to the core.
"You have more power over me than anyone. But you don't seem to know how to use it."
Moving against her, he brushed his already returning hardness against her.
"I don't know how to use it, huh?"
She laughed a little.
"You know how to use that," she said, almost purring. "But this…" she pressed a kiss above his heart. "I don't think you have as much experience with this."
It hurt. More than it should have. He wanted to press her. He wanted to defend himself. But, instead he rolled her over and positioned himself above her. Guess he'd stick to what he was good at.
The sting hadn't gone away. He could still feel it even as he tried to keep his mind on the task at hand.
They gathered themselves up, waiting impatiently for the nattering droid to make his way down the hall. None of them were particularly pleased to have him back among the living. Or powered, as it were. Of course, none of them were particularly pleased at all in this moment. It wasn't just the obvious. Both Chewie and Han hated asking for favors more than just about anything else in the Galaxy.
Han lead the way down the ship's ramp, not able to help scoping the place out for signs of danger. The Princess had really gotten in his head. The rest of the group followed while he kept his eye on the doors at the end of a generous walkway.
"Oh," it was the droid, "No one to meet us."
"I don't like this…" Leia said needlessly.
Han felt his temper flare and turned back to her, spoiling for a fight.
"What would you like?" he asked almost nastily.
She softened just a bit, speaking in their new language of looks and sighs. I'm on your side…
He immediately felt sorry. "Look, don't worry, everything's gonna be fine. Trust me."
As if on cue, the doors at the end of the platform hissed open.
"See?" Her eyes caught his, "My friend."
He quickly turned away, unwilling to let her see his own niggling of doubt. He tilted back as he passed the Wookiee and gestured him forward.
"Keep your eyes open, huh?"
Then striding onto the platform, he opened his arms in the universal sign of good intentions.
"Hey!" he called, trying to erase any tension from his voice.
"Why you slimey, double-crossing, no good swindler," a slightly older, more distinguished Lando spat as he came striding up. "You got a lot of guts coming here. After what you pulled."
Han mentally catalogued all the various insults and vagaries the gambler could be referring to. He also took mental inventory of the team of men behind him, not at all liking his odds.
Lando moved forward, murder in his eyes, and then just as he was about to take a swing, he dove forward and wrapped his arms around the very startled Han.
Belting out a prankster's laugh, he slapped Han enthusiastically on the shoulders. "How you doing you old pirate? So good to see you! Never thought I'd see you again. Not on this gas heap!"
Han was relieved - beyond relieved - as he shared in his friend's obvious enjoyment of the situation.
"What are you been doing here?"
"Ah, repairs. I thought you could help me out."
Lando's eyes narrowed. "What have you done to my ship?"
"Your ship? Hey, remember you lost her to me fair and square," he didn't know which mistress he was referring to now.
As if sensing the slant of his thoughts, Lando looked over his shoulder. Han was instantly reminded of the precious cargo he carried behind him.
"And how you doing Chewbacca?" Lando greeted. "Still hanging around with this loser?"
[Unfortunately] Chewie barked.
Han saw Leia arrive on the scene just as Lando's smooth baritone crooned out another tune.
"Hello, what have we here?"
Han didn't know how she managed to look so stunning stuffed back into her snowsuit, but he sincerely wished she wouldn't. Leia held the gambler's eye contact, reminding him of her royal rearing.
"Welcome, I'm Lando Calrissian. I'm the administrator of this facility." He was all charm, with an added spice of authority.
Han couldn't help the nerves that brought his hand into his hair. He sauntered around the scene, biting back his irritation (jealousy?) as she answered Lando's smoothness with some charm of her own.
"Leia," she said. No title, no nothing.
The gambler raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it like Han was so much cloud cover in the background.
Han finally chanced a look at his princess only to find her smirking expectantly at him, apparently enjoying his obvious discomfort.
"Alright, alright," he had the grace to find it funny now as he reclaimed Leia's waiting hand, "You old smoothie."
Leia smiled the first genuine smile he'd seen all day. Even if it was at his expense, he was relieved to see it.
The four of them now escorted by one irritatingly suave gambler made their way through the gorgeous outpost. Leia's little sound of appreciation spurred Han to action. The sooner they got out of here, the better. He told Lando what they needed and politely enquired after the man's latest venture.
See? He could be charming too.
Leia trailed behind, letting the boys do their thing. As was always the case, her presence held part of his focus, like the next destination on a nav computer. He wondered if she was impressed by all this. He certainly didn't have a city to his name. Just one sorry ship.
Really, there wasn't much to love.
Embarrassed by his sudden insecurities, he refocused on what the gambler turned administrator was saying.
"I'm setting you up with a penthouse," he said as he keyed in the code at yet another white door.
It swished open revealing a breathtaking suite appointed simply and stylishly. "You see, it pays to have friends in high places."
Han smirked, "Just because you live in the clouds…"
Lando slapped his back and barked with laughter. "Gods, I've missed you. These people are so…serious."
Leia arrived in the room and took it in with hesitant appreciation.
"This is lovely," she said, albeit a bit grudgingly.
Lando turned towards her obviously sensing another opportunity to play his hand.
"And it's fully stocked. There's a service droid who can get you anything you require, including…" he looked down at her rather dingy snowsuit, "some fresh clothes. If you'd like."
How could she resist?
"Thank you, Mr. Calrissian."
The jealousy was back. And it was definitely jealousy this time.
"Lando, why don't I follow you out, so you can show me those mechanics of yours," he said loudly, looking for any excuse to break up the moment.
The man smiled wickedly at him.
"We could always wait a bit, grab a nice meal, take a little tour…"
"No time," Han said quickly. "We gotta get going as soon as we can."
He sensed a seismic shift to his right and glanced back to see Leia quaking ever so slightly.
God, he was an idiot.
He walked to her and without any consideration for the man behind him leaned down to kiss her firmly on the lips. She resisted a bit, then relented, letting her hands rest on his biceps.
He pulled back and willed the world away for just a flick.
"I'll be back soon and we'll talk. Just…" he searched for something suitable, "enjoy yourself."
She looked at him doubtfully, but didn't argue, instead squeezing his shoulders and giving him another more lingering kiss.
"Don't take too long," she said.
They stepped apart and turned to the waiting administrator. His face was a careful blank, but Han already knew he'd be in for a fair bit of razzing once they departed.
"The bedrooms are that way," he gestured across the room with a sweep of his hand. "You ready, Solo?"
Han shook his head, still oddly uncomfortable with this arrangement. "Ready as I'll ever be."
It certainly took too long. Lando's workers had made quick work of installing the new and improved hyperdrive. After which, Lando seemed to take special pleasure in making sure his men addressed every single minor flaw on the Falcon.
He knew the man was teasing him, testing him to see how far he'd bend before he broke and went back to his princess in her tower. But, giving into the old instincts that had gotten him this far, he refused to buckle. Instead, he directed the mechanics with relish, allowing himself to be slightly pleased by the royal treatment given to his other lady.
When they truly could not find one more deficiency, Lando finally folded, suggesting that Han make his way back to the penthouse. But, before they parted ways the gambler made his next play, pledging to pick them up in a short while for that promised tour.
Han couldn't get back to the penthouse fast enough. Chewie stayed to finish up with the mechanics and agreed to meet them back in their plush new setting when he was done.
He keyed in the entry and stepped into the room, immediately getting an eyeful of cleaned and coiffured Leia. A spike of adrenaline and desire shot through him as he took her in. Before he could get completely distracted, he gave her the update he knew she'd want.
"The ship's almost finished, two or three more things and we're in great shape."
She nodded briskly, charging toward him. Oh no.
"The sooner the better. Something's wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about Threepio. And he's been gone too long to have gotten lost…"
He truly could not keep up with the constant changes in her weather system. Hours ago she was trembling at the very idea of departure, now they couldn't leave soon enough.
He did the only thing he knew would calm her seas, gently taking her shoulders in his hands and dropping a kiss on her brow.
"Relax," he said soothingly, moving to finger her braids. "I'll talk to Lando, see what I can find out."
"I don't trust Lando," the intensity was still there, but she lowered onto the a seat, waiting to be appeased.
"I don't trust him either," he said wheedlingly, "but he is my friend."
She looked at him, eyes warming with grudging affection.
"Besides, we'll soon be off."
In an uncharacteristic delay, she processed his statement before her goodwill froze over.
"And then your as good as gone aren't you?"
He looked down for a flick, not wanting to broach the subject again. He felt like a child, gazing into the stern eyes of his mother. It was an odd sensation, and made him think not of himself, but of the child that might one day be a product of their love. Would she look at him that way?
"Leia…"
The door swished open and a clearly upset Wookiee barged through the door. He was carrying a box of what looked to be See-Threepio.
Leia was shot up, concern coloring her voice.
"What happened?"
[I found him near the furnace.] Chewie growled.
"Where?" Han asked, truly confused.
[The trash room.]
He translated for Leia, who looked like she was having a hard time processing.
"Found him in a junk pile."
"Oh, what a mess," she groaned, "Chewie, you think you can repair him?"
[I'll try.] the Wookie answered dubiously.
Looking for a way to redeem the situation Han spoke up.
"Lando's got people who can fix him." They'd probably take their time too.
"No thanks," Leia hissed, clearly not appreciating the suggestion.
A chime of warning sounded and the man in question descended into the room.
"I'm sorry am I interrupting anything?" he said too innocently.
Leia's subtle adjustment of her gown made Han's mood plummet further.
"Not really," she supplied.
Lando's face broke out into a smile, and he looked like the cat who'd finally found the cream.
"You look absolutely beautiful…" he trailed off adding a hint of vulnerability to the last syllable. A seasoned player in action.
Han had to cover his grimace as their host continued his blatant seduction, "You truly belong with us among the clouds. Would you join me for a little refreshment?"
It was a shameless pick up and both Chewie and Leia reacted accordingly, Chewie grunting his disapproval and Leia looking truly scandalized.
"Everyone's invited of course," Lando added as an afterthought, unwavering in his grab for her hand and her attention.
Alright, fun's over.
Han stepped up beside the woman in question and offered her his arm. Without hesitation she switched over, seeming to relax as he laid his claim.
Lando finally noticed box of golden limbs.
"Problem with your droid?"
"No," he answered reflexively. Something in Lando's face – an interest that was a bit too piqued - made him continue with a jaunty, "No problem. Why?"
Maybe the Princess wasn't just paranoid.
The small talk started as the made their way through the crowed corridors. He let Leia take the lead as he tried to sort through the odd sensation of real distrust that had sprung up in the last few moments. It was obvious that the man was toying with them, but Han couldn't figure out if it was all in good fun or had a more sinister edge.
He tuned back in, searching for clues.
"…our customers are anxious to avoid attracting attention to themselves."
"Aren't you afraid the Empire's gonna find out about this little operation. Shut you down?"
Maybe he was making a play for the Falcon, looking for a back-up plan in case this thing went belly up.
Lando gave a very politic answer but all Han heard was the word "deal." It reverberated through him as Lando palmed open a set of wide double doors in front of them.
What was he-
Before Han could finish the thought, his blaster was in his hand shooting uselessly at a realized nightmare before him.
Vader. Darth Vader was here. In the…flesh?
His gun flew out of his hand and into the dark lord's fist.
He'd never seen the man before. Now that he was standing in front of them, at the head of a long empty table, Han had his doubts as to whether that was an apt label. There didn't seem to be anything human about him, besides his humanoid shape.
"We would be honored if you would join us," he said in a deep mechanical drawl. Another walking nightmare stepped into view - Boba Fett - Han's ever-dogged shadow.
He turned, instinctively looking for escape but immediately saw the squadron of storm troopers assembled in the hall. His gaze cut to Lando, betrayal evident before he could quash it.
"I had no choice, they arrived right before you did," he said, tonelessly. And then, "I'm sorry."
He could feel Leia's mounting panic next to him and reached decisively for her hand, the man in front of him no longer of any concern.
"I'm sorry too."
With that, and one more cornered howl from Chewie, they entered the room. Game over. Read 'em and weep.
They were pawns in the dark lord's new game of choice, and they were being moved again. Han could feel the lingering effects of the torture he'd received radiating through his now-frayed nerves. It seemed to keep time with his steps, right - ho - left - ly - right - hell…and so on.
Leia was there, as close as she could get without touching him. The guards had left her and Chewie un-cuffed but had obviously deemed him a possible threat. He supposed that had something to do with the clumsy punch he'd thrown at Lando in their holding cell.
Well, I had to take my shot.
He knew it was a dumb move. And pointless. There was nothing they could do now besides try their hardest to keep alive. It made him want to rip his hands out of these shackles, grab the nearest blaster and start firing like a madman. But, Han was nothing if not opportunistic. He knew when to fight (most of the time) and when to wait for his next chance.
Of course, that had always been easier when it was just his hide on the line. Even with Chewie, he'd always trusted the big guy to take care of himself. But Leia…
He could feel her hidden terror, pulsing off her like waves. Her breath was shallow and hitching with the effort to keep her features placid and unmoved. She'd had practice he knew, putting on a brave face, never showing her emotions. But something had changed in the last few weeks. The hard shell of the politician had been breached, and he felt somewhat responsible as they entered a gaping chamber.
The puffs of orange steam emanating from the sunken center reminded Han of the clouds they'd seen on first arrival. The same foreboding feeling came over him now, which almost made him laugh.
You must be one with the force if you can tell this ain't good.
He knew he was in trouble. He just couldn't think beyond Leia right now.
What would they do to her? Would she survive?
The droid was nattering on again, and he almost appreciated it. He imagined the white helmeted guards around them were just as tortured by the racket. At least there was that.
They came to a stop in front of the pit, and that bad feeling grew about ten times. Lando was there facing away from them, looking into the crater. Boba Fett stood to the side silently waiting on the action to commence.
"What's goin' on, buddy?" the last word dripped with sarcasm, a brand new ocean of bad blood between them.
"You're being put into carbon freeze." Lando muttered, trying but failing to look at the doomed smuggler.
"What if he doesn't survive…?" Fett's voice pinged across the chamber caught in some kind of trick of the acoustics.
Han tuned him out, turning to look down at Leia. It was happening, the separation they'd both dreaded. Just not in any way he could have predicted. She looked up at him, eyes wide and too full, mouth partially open as if to utter a protest. He did his best to comfort her, offering her a wry sad half-smile.
Chewie started moaning, frantically thrashing as he took advantage of the guards' stupid lapse.
That Wookiee's a lot more dangerous than me.
Han almost let him rampage. Almost joined in the fun. But, his goal was clear. Still so clear in his mind.
"Stop Chewie, stop! Stop! Chewie - STOP!" Han yelled at the top of his lungs, not managing to get Chewie's attention before a handful of storm troopers had been thrown over the side of the platform.
Good boy.
"Hey! Hey! Listen to me. Chewie. Chewie, this won't help me. Save your strength. They'll be another time. The Princess. You have to take care of her."
She had to be safe, she had survive, no matter what.
Leia moved to the pair, looking up at Chewie like an orphaned child.
He was getting through. Chewie took him in with hunted eyes, but then dropped his gaze to Leia. He'd take care of her. He knew he would.
Then she turned that gaze on him, and he finally felt the fear he ought to.
In a blind rush, the lovers were kissing. Pouring everything they felt into the joining, desperate to stay connected, to escape this terrifying moment. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe he'd found her, and now he was being forced to retreat.
The guards yanked at him, compelling him onto the now-raised freezing chamber. He kept his eyes trained on her, drinking her in with all of his focus.
She took one small step forward, then—
"I love you."
Her words were strong, so sure, the woman suddenly surfaced.
"I know."
And he did. He always had. He'd just been too blind to see it.
He looked down as the little demons removed his handcuffs. Could he—?
But the floor jerked beneath him as the rapid descent started to take him down. He watched her. A light on the horizon, the only thing he'd ever done right. Then with a dawning knowing, like a sun bursting through the clouds he realized what he'd really done. He'd done the one thing he'd been trying to avoid since that day on Ord Mantell. He'd hurt her, more than any blaster, more than any Sith Lord ever could. She was broken, her heart spilling across her face like so much carnage.
If he could do it again, if he could go back to the beginning, if only he could have another chance he would—-—-—-—-—