I've had a request for a heads-up on certain types of scenes to be posted before chapters. Since a heads up can take away the element of surprise, I won't post a spoiler alert before the chapters, but what I will do is use the last-posted chapter to give this warning on any chapters so that you can see if you want, or not.

I stalk the halls of Grey's holdings company. Everyone else was home or off doing whatever else they want to do for New Year's Eve. Leave it to Grey to suck the fun out of holidays with work. I need a vacation from all this, but what can I do? It's monotonous and dull, but mentally draining, to be mentally turned on every hours of the day, waiting for him to need me to do something. I rarely do, and so just shadow him. Watching his life, like the more boring episode of a reality show. I'd welcome stepping into one of those shows on MTV but for something to happen.

I escape into books. The boss doesn't care if I spend my shifts reading, so I open the cover on my iPad and open to The Green Mile. No matter how many times I read this one, it kills me a little. Why didn't the movie version of this include the passage about the tied sausages? I've read this book a few times. Not going to finish it again.

My life isn't being lived. I want something I can live vicariously through. Nothing else is catching my eye. I sigh. Six months of being Grey's bodyguard and occasional lover to Elizabeth has gotten to me. It's all stagnant. Nothings going anywhere. Parallel tracks into the horizon that's always looking further away.

Bodyguard? My god, I'm more like his lackey, a manservant. I'm not there overnight unless he's been drinking. If someone's going to kill him, it would probably be when he sleeps instead of when he's awake and can hear someone approach. We don't see eye to eye on guns. If someone does try killing him during the day, there'll probably be a gun. How an I supposed to stop a bullet? I won't jump in front of one for him. He's not worth it.

I pull myself out of my thoughts and flip through the iBookstore. Everything with this company is little-I-this and little-I-that. I can't believe someone's charging almost six bucks for open-source classic books, and a bunch of idiots have paid it. Jesus Christ, no wonder some people are so broke all the time. I laugh. People using this devices probably don't care or don't worry about money very much. Hell, I think I'm becoming an elitist, and the smile falls from my face.

If I don't get a vacation soon, I'll snap.

"Taylor!" the boss calls, heels of his shoes clicking on the floor. I don't know how men's heels can click, but his do.

I stand quickly and close the case on my iPad. "Sir."

He stops in front of me. "I'm going to stay with a friend the next couple weeks. You're not going with me. So take the time off."

For a moment I think there's a god. A break. Holy shit I can take a shower without wondering if he'll call me at midnight and take a piss without the phone on the counter next to me. I'm going to turn that electric leash off and -

Damn. I can't. It's the number Marisa uses. Well, Grey never told me I had to give up my old cell phone. I didn't want to carry a couple around.

I collect myself. "Who is it?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"If I'm in charge of your safety, then I need to know. If you don't return, I need to know where to start searching for you." I don't care if he comes back, not much. I only care about the pay. But I'm very curious where he's going on such short notice that he's not taking me.

Grey's grey eyes glance down, then away. "Elena. We have some business to discuss."

Sure. Right. I believe that as much as I believe in the Easter bunny. I don't know if he's fucking around with her, but I do know that he would need to go away a couple weeks with a local woman to discuss business. She's got a couple salons. They're local. But she's his mom's good friend. I guess they don't want Grace to know they'll be meeting up.

Yeah. They're knocking boots.

"Where?"

He raises an eyebrow again. "The ass?"

I can't believe he said that. For half a second I freeze. Then I snort and shake my head.

Grey chuckles. Oh my god, he can laugh. I've never heard that. "I know what you're thinking, and it's none of your business." His chastising is hard to take seriously when he's blushing himself. "No, really, we're going to Vegas to check out some shows for some ideas she has for one of the salons downtown, and maybe to buy out a two-location chain down there."

I'm convinced they're going to be naked as often as possible. Elena's pretty hot, but I block the boss out of my head. Okay, I push Elena from my head too. I care about Elizabeth too much. She's the one I want to think about, soft lips and legs that don't quit. They way she laughs makes me giddy like a schoolboy experiencing a first crush...

"Hello in there. Taylor?" Grey snaps his fingers in front of my face.

"Hmm?" I refocus on the boss. "Sorry, I was just thinking about, um, stuff."

"Whatever it is, think about it on your own time. Mrs. Jones is getting my bags packed and we've got to pick up Elena by eight to make it to the airport in time for our flight." He turned in the direction of the elevator.

I follow him and reach it first. I hit the button and the doors open immediately. "So that'll get you in Vegas before midnight?"

"Should be over Vegas at midnight. I want to see the fireworks from the sky."

Or make fireworks in the sky. I know there's no reason to be gone for a couple weeks over a matter like this, and his sharp look tells me he knows I know. It's like he's daring me to challenge him. I raise my eyebrows. The doors open again, disrupting our game of chicken. I walk out first and let him win. He's the boss, after all, and I don't need him leaving mad and coming back deciding to replace me.

Traffic's slow on the way back to the Escala. He spends it on the phone. I listen to some NPR. He's not a fan, so I keep it low. I finally reach the building and hurry up to his penthouse to grab his bags. Elizabeth has them by the door, but is not in the kitchen or any common area. I head to her room, and can hear her shower. I guess I'll see her in the morning.

Grey's kind of nervous in the car. He's not on the phone anymore and stares blankly out the window, a hand over his mouth.

"You okay, Boss?"

He jumps slightly and smiles. "Yes."

He may as well have grown a third head. Where's my composed, cold boss? Who is this jumpy, smiling kid who even tried cracking a joke earlier? Is this because he'll be seeing Elena? No, can't be. She's been over to the apartment before.

But they haven't been away together. Could he be - no. He can't be with her like he is with Leila. He's always so in control when he's playing his games. I don't think he'd be like he is with Elizabeth. Okay, I can't think about that.

Is he in love?

No, that can't be. I don't think the guy can love anyone but himself. It's always all about him, and you can't do that when you love. But these short breaks from being an ass, when he lets a different side break through for a minute, make me wonder sometimes. They never last though, and I think they're a way of manipulating people. The entire drive I try to piece it together, but decide he toying with everyone around me.

Outside Elena's place I park and open the back door. She's waiting outside with her bag at her feet.

"Out," she snaps at Grey. Oh shit. He's not going to like that.

He gets out, and my jaw fell so fast the muscle may as well had disappeared for a moment. Grey clasps his hands behind his back and casts his eyes down. What the fuck? He waits until she slides into the car and gets in behind her. I close the door, toss her bag in the trunk, get behind the wheel, and I think I'm in the Twilight Zone. Aliens invade his brain? Body-double? Those make more sense than the asshole I know being meek and mellow and whipped.

Whipped? Christian Grey? I have to bite my lips together to keep from laughing out loud. Not a chance. He'd grow wings and find a gold halo to hang over his head before that happens. All the way to the airport he stays silent and nibbles on his bottom lip. I can't tell if he's nervous or excited or both or something else. I want him out of the car and away from he right now. This change isn't comfortable for me. His usual self makes more sense. I'm also used to it.

I pull the car up to the curb at the Seattle airport and open the back door. He waits until she orders him out. He obeys and stands aside like he did when she got in the car. She gets out and pulls on a pair of black leather gloves. My existence even acknowledged, but I'm okay with his and I get their luggage out and set it on a cart. One of the handlers takes over.

"Have a safe trip, Mr. Grey and Ms. Lincoln," I tell them. Not getting a response isn's a surprise, even though he usually says something to me. As quick as I can without running, I get back in the car and take off.

What the hell just happened? The boss was acting like a school boy with his first crush! Was that really Mr. Grey acting whipped?

Wait. I've got to back up my though. Could he be? Is there...no. There can't be. Grey? A submissive? Not a snowball's chance in hell. There's no figuring it out, so I turn on the radio to here cheering from New York. Oh, that magic time of year when my parents are in a different year out in Connecticut. I'd call, but my old man still won't talk to me.

I pull into my usual parking space and take the stairs up instead of the elevator. A bit of exercise and a shower sounds good. But drivers are already being reckless and I don't want to be a fleshy human body on a sidewalk running around if one of them drives up a curb. So the stairs will be it for tonight.

I barely go through the door and already I'm pulling everything off. I need the steam of a shower so bad I want to shout at a wall or something. Usually New Year has just been another night, but this year I'm overwhelmed. For the first time in my adult life, I'm about to start my new year as a civilian, and I won't be working. A bad time to take a vacation. At least it's paid time.

The heat of the water turns me beet-red and scalds a bit, but feels good. It stops me from thinking about too many things at once. My life isn't feeling like my own. I miss the early morning drills and heading out in the evenings for a few too many beers with my old buddies. There hasn't been time for that since I started working for Grey. It's been months since I've heard from any of them.

Sophie's loving school, though Marisa doesn't care to be a mom. If Grey didn't insist own owning every minute of my life, I'd ask for custody. Sophie really likes Elizabeth.

I really like Elizabeth too. I have to calm myself around her. She still sees herself as the boss's property. I wish she didn't see herself as owning anyone she doesn't want to belong to. I'm scared to death to tell her how I feel about her. I'm scared to admit it to myself. She's smart and funny, can hold her own at cards, and constantly surprises me with her sense of humor. Unlike other women I've been interested in, she's not self-deprecating nor conceited about how beautiful she is. Elizabeth is a better influence on Sophie than Marisa.

As I turn off the water, I hear a knock on the door. Shit, who would be knocking tonight of all nights unless something is wrong. I pull some sweats on over my still-wet legs just to get something on and toss a towel around my shoulders and hurry to the door. I don't pay attention and open it right onto my face.

"Shit" I say and start rubbing my forehead.

"Jason, are you all right?"

I wrinkle my nose against the lingering sting and look past my fingers are Elizabeth, striking even in jeans and a black turtleneck. I like her hair on a ponytail. Casual is a great look for her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Sorry about my language."

She brushes past me with a dish in her hands. "Well, if 'shit' is on the no-no list, I should probably throw the Dogma DVD I brought out the window right now. You know about George Carlin's brilliant use of language far more colorful than that, right?"

"You're amazing." I follow her into the kitchen and touch her lower back while watching over her shoulder as she pulls a glass lid off the casserole dish.

"Lasagna. I didn't think you'd have time to eat tonight, not with staying late at the office and then chauffeuring Mr. Grey and Elena around." She turns her face back to me and plants a quick kiss in my lips. "So I brought dinner to you. I hope you don't mind."

I reach to the counter and turn on my iPod in its Bose dock. Tom Petty's Wildflowers. Not the most romantic, but it'll do. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her away from the counter. She spins in them and loops her arms around my neck and stares up up at me, a small smile on her face.

"Two weeks," she whispers so soft I can't actually hear words.

"Yeah. Do you want to stay here?" My words surprise me. We haven't stayed a night in the same bed, yet I'm practically asking her to move in for a while. But I'd like it.

Elizabeth opens her eyes a little wider and her mouth opens to a silent O and closes. She swallows. "Well, if, you mean it, I'd love to stay with you. I just don't want to overstay my welcome here."

"Your absence is what's overstayed its welcome." I lean my forehead against hers and sway with her until the song ends. My stomach betrays me with a grumble.

"Let me get you a plate," she says, rubbing her nose against mine. "Get us some drinks."

"I've got some beer and soda. No wine tonight." Why didn't I get some wine on the way home? I make a mental note to keep wine in this place.

"Beer's fine." She grabs a knife from a drawer and begins cutting into the still-warm lasagna and plating it. I think she knows her way around my kitchen better than I do.

I grab a couple bottled from the fridge and pop them open, and we walk together to the living room.

"I forgot to give you a present I got for Sophie. I hope it's okay that I got her something." Elizabeth smiles shyly.

"Of course. She adores you, Liz." More than I can tell her. Sophia loves her. I think I do too. I shake my head slightly and set the beers on the table and sit down. Liz hands me a plate and places the other beside the bottles. I take a bite while she starts the movie. "Holy christ this is good."

Elizabeth curls up beside me and presses a button on the remote. "You're not used to my cooking yet?"

The wide-eyed look she gives me makes me smile. "Well, I am, but, um..."

"Oh, Jason. We've got two weeks to change that."

I'm surprised how relaxing watching George Carlin introducing Buddy Jesus while I eat and have a beer can be, how domestic and right when it's with the woman beside me. We both finish our food, and without needing words, adjust our positions so she's curled up next to me, resting in my arms, in a movement so natural I didn't realize we moved.

Then I know. I love her. Realizing it hits me like a train and takes my breath away. A couple of them are hard to take.

"Are you all right, Jase?" She glances up at me.

"I'm fine," I tell her with a kiss to her lips. The soft smile she gives me before she turns back to the TV makes me panic. Shit, no. No no no, I can't be feeling like this. Not now, not her. It's like that movie, what's it called? Ewan McGreggor's in in. Moulin Rouge. How can I share someone I love? It's not my decision to make, and maybe she doesn't even feel the same way. I don't know if it would be worse to be loved and share her or to not have her love at all. There's no way I can tell her. We already complicated things more than we should have. I don't think either of us have plans to step back. I don't. But I also don't plan to move things forward. We both need our jobs too much.

Elizabeth checks her watch and grabs the remote. "It's almost midnight." She's got that remote figured out better than I do, so she takes care of it. She gets back to regular cable and finds the replay of the ball drop. A local news channel is covering local celebrations with a smaller screen of the New York ball.

"What do you hope happens in the new year?" She shifts against me and straddles my lap.

I encircle my arms around her waist and stare into her eyes. "I don't know, Liz. To win the lottery, I guess. Maybe find a new way to get what we need. A way to keep Sophie in a good school without Grey. A way to take care of your sister and the kids without him. For you to not have to be with him at all. You?"

She licks her lips and smiles broadly. "I don't think I'll have to be anymore. The woman he went to Vegas with is an old dom of his. She's back in the picture. Between me and her, he'll go to her."

"Grey has a dom?" Wow. I didn't think he could ever be submissive to anyone. My speculation was right. Holy shit. And she may not have to service his needs anymore? I think a weight has been lifted. She never liked being with him.

"Yes. I'm free from him in that way. I can be all yours now."

Mine? I like the sound of that. I'm already hers. I take a deep breath and decide to tell her that before I lose my guts. Just say the words quick. Tell her I'm hers. "Liz, I love you."

These words escape before I have a chance to stop myself. I close my eyes and tense up. God dammit. If I just blew it with her, I'm not going to get over it for a long time. It takes all my will power to open my eyes. I expect to see her looking uncomfortable. But she's smiling softly at me.

She lightly rubs her thumbs over my cheekbones and her fingers slide down my jaw. She brushes my hair back, and suddenly leans against me, nuzzling her face into my neck. But she doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, Liz."

"Don't be," she says, her voice low. "You just caught me off guard. I don't know what to say. I mean, I care about you a lot, but I'm not sure how just yet."

Great. She probably wants to run off. How could I have been so stupid? "If you don't want to stay here, I'll understand." I tighten my arms and realize the mixed message I'm sending. She's free to leave, but held tightly. I make myself loosen my arms.

She sits up and stares into my eyes, still smiling. "No, I don't want to go. I want to stay here, if you'll be okay with that."

The announcer on tv says we've got three minutes to midnight. Would it be okay to kiss her when that time hits?

Our eyes stay locked. She takes a bunch of deep breaths and licks her lips. Every now and then her eyes narrow and then widen, like she's thinking hard about something. Her smile doesn't completely fade. I want to ask her what she's thinking, but don't. The ball's in her court, and whatever she wants to do with it is hers to decide. No matter what she does with it, I'm still hers, and I can't take back what I said. Truth is, I feel better getting it out there. I think she does too.

She sighs and her smile widens as she does until her eyes light up like Christmas lights. Her hand on my cheek is warm and comforting. I reach one of mine up to cup hers. Elizabeth rests her face against my palm and nods. "Yes," she says.

"Yes what?" I don't know what she's agreeing to. I didn't ask her anything, did I?

In the background, the countdown to midnight starts. Five, four, three, two, one... People cheer. Outside the window I hear hooting and hollering and a couple air horns and firecrackers. I don't think she even notices, and after a second, I don't either. I'm here with the woman I've admitted to loving, and she's still with me. I'm hers, she's mine. Her mouth nears mine, her breathing shallowing. Right before out lips meet, she whispers. "I love you too, Jason Taylor."