DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: It is by JKR's writing alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the grace of coffee that thoughts acquire speed, the back acquires strains, the strains become a warning. The warning is that I make no money from this. It is by JKR's writing alone I set my mind in motion.

PITHY STATEMENT RELATING TO THIS CHAPTER: "I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party." Ron White – American comedian and actor – 1956-

Last Updated: 07-30-2014

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CHAPTER SEVEN – LIFE OF THE PARTY

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THE INSURMOUNTABLE PENQUIN, KNOCKTURN ALLEY, LONDON – AUGUST 1st 1998 – EVENING

Harry took another sip from his pint glass. He idly thought that at least in this case, the Magical world was nice in that while he was legally able to drink; their server hadn't even blinked when she had taken their orders. She certainly hadn't asked to see his ID. Of course the fact he was with an Auror might have had something to do with it but Harry got the feeling that checking ID's wasn't something the Magical world did a lot of.

This was the flotsam floating on the top of the thoughts which churned and frothed after listening to Tonks for the last hour or so. He thought what he'd gotten from McGonagall, Sprout and the Ministry guy was weird enough. If life was a game, he'd obviously failed his saving throw versus weirdness. This errant thought made him think of the flipside of the day. At least for all the hassles and oddities, at least he was rich. If he couldn't buy happiness, he'd at least rent some.

Harry sighed and tried to focus. It wasn't made easier by the fact that Tonks' Auror robe was open and the clothes she wore under them were cut to seriously show off her form. A form Harry was trying hard not to stare at. He didn't want his new-found cousin to think he was pervy. It was bad enough his friends at work kidded him about his obvious love of good set of breasts. Mary had helped break him of the bad habit of talking to 'the girls' thankfully.

"I know it's a lot to take in, Harry," Tonks said. "In fact, I'm leaving a lot of stuff out for now. Until I can get you to Grimmauld Place, there are some secrets I can't trust even to our secrecy stones."

Harry waved a hand dismissively, "It's just on top of all I learned today, I'm going to have to deal with everyone fawning over me due to my magic?"

Tonks sighed tiredly, "You don't have to make it sound like such a trial. I realize it doesn't matter to you but most in our world would give their wand arm to be in your shoes. Look; I'm sorry I'm pants at explaining all this. My parents would do it a lot better but it's like this. You, Harry, are probably a powerful wizard. You come from a long line of them on your father's side and your mother wasn't a push-over either. Now while it's not a lock that powerful parents equal a powerful child, magical strength does seem to have a strong genetic angle."

"But I've got my family magicks too, right? So at the very least I'm probably going to be ahead of everyone else. That's what you said, right?" Harry pointed out.

Tonks bit her lip, "Actually you'll probably have the Black family magicks as well and more if things work out as they should in getting your blood tested."

Harry made a face, "Okay so I may be the direct heir for some lost houses. I get that. But how could I end up with House Black's magicks? Isn't this Sirius Black still alive? Then what about people like you and the other cousins I have? Why am I single out? I'm a Potter!"

Tonks took a sip of her own beer before answering, "It's like this Harry. I know it's amazing that Sirius is still head of House Black. Actually I should say it was amazing before a month ago. Now I know the reason why. Regardless of the why, his will has never been updated and you, as his godson, are still listed as his primary heir after any children he might have."

"How does that work with him being in prison?" Harry asked.

Tonks made a face, "It's complicated. Normally the head of a house has access to all of the power. The designated heir has access to more of that magic than others in the house but not exceptionally so. However if there is a problem with the head then the heir can take on more of that power. A good example is Arthur Weasley. The Weasley clan is headed by Amos Weasley but he's getting on in years, close to two hundred I think and he could go any day but refuses to give up his position. Yet since he's mostly infirm, the actual day-to-day family business is done by Arthur and so he probably has more actual power than Amos does. In your case, with Sirius in prison, you would sort of act as the de facto head of the house."

"I'm still a Potter though. I would think others would contest me being the heir with so much being at stake. Okay Sirius made me his heir but I thought you said something earlier how that isn't all there is too it," Harry said.

Tonks nodded, "No it isn't. However in this case I can say with almost certainty you are the Heir. The biggest reason is the best contender by the standard inheritance rules is your cousin Draco Malfoy."

Harry frowned, "He's the white-haired ponce, right? I've heard a few comments about the Malfoy's today and none of them good. Mandy was telling us about how she met him at some social function and he was a stuck-up git and everyone should watch out for him."

Tonks laughed, "That's probably being kind. While Lucius Malfoy may be my uncle by marriage, I have no trouble saying he's poison and Draco is quite the turd knock-off from that piece of shitte. My Aunt Narcissa is okay when she's alone. She has to sneak out to visit my mum in some out of the way place. The issue at hand is that Lucius was a Death Eater."

"That's one of Voldemort's terrorist gang, right?" Harry asked. The briefing had gone into a little bit of the war but it had been light on facts and heavy on innuendo and politically correct type speech. Harry, for the life of him, couldn't understand why they still called Voldemort 'You-Know-Who' given how he'd been dead for the last 16 or so years.

"That's right. And while Lucius, like a lot of those wankers, plead that he was under the Imperious Curse and got away with it…well those of us with a working brain know that's a bunch of bollocks," Tonks said with a cross look. "Sadly a lot of galleons changed hands after your parents died, Harry. A lot of victims lie in their graves, unavenged."

"Okay so Lucius is a Death Eater. How does that affect Draco?" Harry asked.

"Death Eaters took a magical tattoo called the Dark Mark. The Dark Lord could summon his followers with it. A lot of people think it has damaged a lot of the kids of the Death Eaters who managed to stay out of prison. You'll probably see some of that when you get to Hogwarts. In Draco's case, his father signed a marriage contract with House Black when he married my aunt. Since any children might end up being a possible contender to become Heir Black, no matter how small, there are certain stipulations in that contract. By taking the Dark Mark, Lucius put himself magically under the control of the Dark Lord. Through this, Draco is tainted," Tonks explained.

"And you're sure of this?" Harry asked?

Tonks thought back to her conversations she had over the follow-up visits to Grimmauld Place. The portraits had been adamant that the house magicks would never accept Draco. "Positive."

"Okay but that brings me back to this power thing. You said that powerful Magicals are sought after and also have like a huge libido to help deal with it!" Harry said.

Tonks drummed her fingers on the table for a moment, "Yes I did and yes that will probably happen to you. In fact, because of the precautions the Headmaster did to protect you, it'll be probably a lot worse."

Harry's eyes narrowed, "For a guy so many people seem to think farts rainbows, this Dumbledore is brassing me off and I haven't even met him yet! What did he do now?"

Tonks opened her mouth to explain before shutting it while shaking her head, 'It's a very long story. Short version is your mother did something to you before being killed by Voldemort. This something is believed to be what helped you survive the Killing Curse. Dumbledore thinks he transferred this protection to your relatives' home because of the blood relation you share with your mother's sister. The problem is these so called blood-wards don't work the way Headmaster Dumbledore thinks."

"They don't work?" Harry asked before suddenly realizing how stupid the question was. Of course they couldn't work given how much his aunt and uncle had abused him till he could scare them into ignoring him.

Tonks made a waffling gesture with her hand, "It's hard to say. They probably do work after a fashion but the problem is something my dad rants on all the time. I told you he's a lawyer right? Well he does work with Muggle cases so he knows all about police procedures. As an auror I try to do more but the truth is so many Magicals confronted with a problem will cast a few spells, get an answer and be satisfied with that. The problem is their methodology is flawed."

"How so?" Harry asked. "I've seen quite a few cop shows on the telly. My aunt loves them for some reason. I like ready mystery books as well."

Tonks smiled, "That's good because you'll understand the point which sails over the heads of my fellow aurors most times. It's about two concepts my dad hammered into me. Mum too since as a healer they have to be more analytical than most. The deal is causation and correlation. Most Magicals don't take more than basic maths and the higher maths used in arithmancy are centered on magic. So you average wizard on the street tends to be linear thinkers and it sort of makes them gullible."

"How so?" Harry asked again

Tonks leaned back and frowned before answering. "I think the problem is magic itself. With magic you can remake reality and there are certain aspects which remain mysterious enough that there is an entire group of them, the Unspeakables, which do nothing but probe some of the more obtuse vagaries of magic. This allows your typical Magical to accept a lot of things which wouldn't make sense to a Muggle-raised like yourself. To them magic just is and so many unbelievable things can happen and they just accept it. You could cast the same detection spells but you might still say, 'this doesn't make sense' and so keep looking. Your Magical-raised would accept the results from his spell. The problem is it can be hard to prove spell X caused action Y."

A light went on in Harry's brain, "Oh! I think I see were you're going. There might be other reasons why something happened but the Magical is going to assume there is a magical reason behind it."

"Exactly! The issues with the wards are there is no record of any attacks against you in all the years you have lived with your aunt and uncle. The problem is people like Dumbledore assume it is because the blood wards worked as he fashioned them when the more probable answer is any Death Eaters wanting revenge simply couldn't find you in the Muggle world."

Harry's eyebrows went up in surprise, "Really? What they can't use a phone directory?"

Tonks laughed, "Oh it's much worse than that. Remember I mentioned Arthur Weasley? Good bloke who runs a Ministry department dealing with Muggles. Yet he can't even pronounce electricity or policemen properly! I was on a mission recently when he showed up and he couldn't tell the difference between a five pound and twenty pound note!"

"What? Is he stupid? They're clearly marked with numbers! Do Magicals use roman numerals or something?" Harry asked incredulously.

"No it just seems like to many witches and wizards see something Muggle and their brain shuts off and don't actually look at it. It doesn't help that all of the Muggle studies are outdated since the Purebloods on the school boards don't see the need to spend any money updating them. My dad thinks the increase in the changes in the Muggle world is causing the Purebloods to just stick their head in the sand instead of having to deal with reality. The Blitz was a huge shock to magical Britain and I agree with my dad that they still are reeling from it."

"That's just lame. I can't believe that guy still has a job," Harry said with a shake of his head at the idea.

The witch's face darkened, "What is really terrible is the Weasleys are a Light side family known to be rather liberal and yet even they treat Muggles like they aren't real people. Six billion people on the planet, outnumbering Magicals to the order of 10,000 to 1 and people like Arthur act like Muggles are clever monkeys who are only aping how 'real' people act."

"Wow. A lot of us at the presentation today got that impression but I don't think any of us realized it was that bad," Harry said.

Tonks shrugged, "You're being exposed to people whose interact with Muggleborn all the time. The rest? Most go out of their way not to. With floo and apparition, Magicals pop from place to place. Hell the Weasleys are a good example of that. They live really close to St. Ottery Catchpole and yet I'd bet you their kids have rarely if ever been into town. You should ask them. If I remember right there will be four Weasleys at Hogwarts this year. I dated one of the Weasleys briefly. It was an eye-opening experience at how clueless he was regarding the Muggle world."

Harry munched on the last of his chips before making a face, "Well I guess if a guy who works with normal people can't even pronounce concepts properly then expecting Death Eaters to find me is a big stretch. You said they worked after a fashion though."

Tonks leaned in and lowered her voice in spite of their magical protections, "Let us just say I have information that Dumbledore has a way to track the wards. He knows they are functioning but what I've been told is he doesn't have any way to see how powerful they are. Now let me ask you this, he tied these wards to a filial bond. So he expected the love of family to fuel the wards. What do you make of that?"

Harry broke out in a bitter laugh which Tonks had no trouble translating. "Yeah that's pretty much it right there. You never considered your relatives' house your home so it is impossible for the wards to work as the Headmaster fashioned them."

"And why would I? They hated me since the day I arrived!" Harry said vehemently.

Tonks nodded, "And that's why the wards, whether they worked or not, were powered not by this family love but by you personally. It's another reason why I'm almost certain you are powerful because even with the wards draining you all your life, you still managed some impressive feats of accidental magic."

"So what happens when I go to Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

Tonks shook her head, "It'll probably happen before that. In fact it could happen any second. Now that you know, your own magic might repudiate the wards. Although I've been told they will probably fold the next time you go home. You were planning to leave and then crash somewhere till first of September, right?"

Harry made a face, "That was the plan. One of the guys I met at orientation is homeless. I figured we both could stay with a friend of mine."

"Given you are of age now, it is believed that when you leave your relatives' home, you know it will probably be for the last time. Then the wards will fail and you won't have this drain on your magic. However, I've got something here which will help you deal with that so you're not having spurts of accidental magic all over the place. However given how old you are it is probable that your libido will go into overdrive," Tonks explained.

Tonks took another sip of her beer and seeing Harry was lost in thought, she ate the last of her chips, "Look Harry, one of my tasks is to help you through things. As I said, I can't say much here other than what I've told you. Once we get you to Grimmauld Place, there is a lot more. I can tell that I'm working on plans so I'll be close to Hogwarts. I'm going to look after you and be there to help you through this. Lots of magic and sudden cravings for sex aren't unknown for heirs and there are ways to deal with it. So don't worry; I'll help you deal with all the fan-girls and other fallout from your new magic level. It's not an unworkable problem."

"You aren't pulling my leg about the sex magic thing? I mean I really don't need to be pranked about that," Harry said with a frown.

Tonks shook her head, "Magicals bodies use orgasm to shed excess magic. No one is quite sure why but it's well documented. It's why sex is used in so many rituals because of all the ambient magic being released on top of anything overtly being done through the ritual. Mum always says waaaaay too many people get hung up on this concept because it's linked to sex. No one would question it if we shed excess magic through farting or something mundane like that."

Harry couldn't help but laugh at this.

Tonks grinned in response, "As for the other matter, it goes with the power level. High magical power acts act like a good rack or a six-pack set of abs. It'll get you noticed by the opposite sex alright. There are a lot of other issues involved but don't freak out too much about it. The professors at Hogwarts have been dealing with magically hyped up students for a little over a thousand years. Dealing with young adults being away from their parents at the same time they start to express their magic is something they've got mostly down to a science if you'll excuse the expression," Tonks explained.

"But what about this power thing? Is it really as bad as McGonagall implied?" Harry asked.

During her briefing she gave before the Ministry had shown up, the Transfiguration professor had told them of the almost caste like system based on magical power. This had gone over like a fart in church among her Muggleborn or raised audience.

Tonks nodded with a look of disgust on her face, "Oh it's real alright and it is one of the things you won't be able to avoid. McGonagall told you about the Crystal of Power, right?"

Harry nodded.

"The thing is, Harry, regardless of the fact that while your magical core is now mostly synched to your body, you're not fully an adult yet. For that matter, neither am I. Mum told me her friend Alcinda Greengrass does a lot of work in the Muggle world of medical science. Muggles' brains don't truly mature until they are around 25 or so even if their bodies are fully functional as an adult much earlier. So for us Magicals, it means a lot of us are having kids long before we're fully developed adults given with our age differences in relation to Muggles. The drawback to this is everyone's magic isn't what it will be in a decade or so." Tonks explained.

"But what people see from this Crystal of Power is going to tag you one way or the other, right?" Harry asked grimly.

"Right in one. I knew a guy in my year who was a Ravenclaw. He was sick on the day of the test as well as nervous since neither of his parents had tested well when they went through Hogwarts. He tested terribly and had to deal with being called a flicker for the rest of his time in school." Tonks said.

"Flicker?" Harry interrupted.

"It's the most common slur for people who are low powered. People like you, the strong ones, are generally referred to as flames. It's a candle image thing. Anyway this poor Ravenclaw got treated like he was almost a Squib, you know what those are right?" Tonks asked.

Harry nodded.

"The thing is was he was actually pretty powerful. Yet even when this became apparently as the years went by, that initial reading stuck to him like glue," Tonks said sadly.

"Why don't the periodically retest?" Harry asked.

"I don't know," Tonks said dejectedly. "I've heard all sorts of theories and almost all of them dumb. Dad goes spare on the issue when it comes up but really the best answer I can give is the old 'that's the way we've always done it' excuse."

"So I'm probably get tagged a flame and beyond my celebrity states, people are going to mob me, yes?" Harry asked.

"You can take it to Gringotts. The problem is that people who aren't as strong are going to want to challenge you. It's like something out of a Yank Western. You can go up in status if you can take down someone stronger than yourself so while flames have it a lot easier, they have their own problems with." Tonks said.

"Okay so far the magical world has witches not being treated equally as wizards. These flickers are treated like crap and probably pranked and hazed with impunity. Then the flames get to lord over everyone when they aren't backstabbing each other for status. Wow, running off to art school or joining the Royal Army is sounding better and better in comparison," Harry grumbled.

"It's one of the reasons why I'm going to be there to mentor you. There are a lot of factors involved and those who grow up with it always have it easier. You can't afford to be behind the power curve even while you might easily be the strongest person in your year magically speaking." Tonks said

Harry looked at his watch. Luckily it was an old one he had found in the attic and had belonged to his grandfather. Amazingly Aunt Petunia hadn't said a thing. Probably because Vernon always bought the best electronic type of watches for Dudley. Given what he had learned about how electronics and magic didn't seem to get along, at least he would still be able to tell the time at Hogwarts.

"Hey Tonks, I've got to jet." Harry drank the last dregs of his beer before taking out his wallet and gave Tonks one of Mr. Chu's business cars. "I can almost bet this is where I'm going to be probably later tomorrow. If something weird comes up, I just used pen to call you, right?" Earlier the Auror had given him a ballpoint pen. Clicking out the ballpoint sent Tonks a signal. Supposedly she could teleport to him from there. It was charmed so you had to use a lot of strength so it wouldn't get triggered on accident.

Tonks nodded before grinning evilly, "For a guy who is worried he's gong to become some magically fueled Lothario, you sure worked fast to go clubbing with some fine looking girls!"

Harry got up with a snort, "It is my birthday or was yesterday. I think before my world totally goes mad, a night on the town is just what I need."

Tonks watched him put on the cloak she'd lent him. It was a Black cloak similar to one she often borrowed from her mum. Unlike a notice-me-not charm, these cloaks worked sort of like a Fidelius charm in that people's gaze would skip over you. So unless Harry spoke directly to someone, no one would realize the Boy-Who-Lived was walking among them.

Tonks drank the rest of her beer, threw some coins on the table and moved to follow Harry. Her first night of looking out for him was about to begin.

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MAMDAME JOJO'S CABARET, LONDON – AUGUST 1st 1998 – LATE EVENING

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I like the dancers when they have more clothes on," Harry said loudly over the music.

Hermione laughed, "Don't worry Harry. I know what you mean. I guess when there is mostly skin all you can say is 'Yup, that's a naked body!' Of course that's the whole point of burlesque. It's the titillation factor. The more you show, the less there is to the imagination."

Harry nodded, "I can imagine a lot!"

The two were watching the burlesque dancers go through their routine. Harry had been surprised Hermione had wanted to take a break from dancing to watch the show since all the dancers were female. Yet as the show went on, Harry realized that his assumption that burlesque was just a fancy name for a strip show was wrong. While a lot of skin ended up being seen, the routine was more artful even if it remained teasingly erotic. The previous set had almost been a little theater production with a self-contained story.

Given their earlier reactions, Harry assumed the 'opposites attract' law was in affect given how Paul had gravitated to Lisa and Lilith to Justin. This had left Harry mostly with Hermione. He rapidly found out this was not the trial he had expected. While a lover of books, the bushy-haired witch was very worldly and found Harry's interest in art fascinating. She had admitted to going to museums but felt she didn't really get the art like she felt she should.

Harry had just laughed and said they should go out to some galleries and he'd help her through it. He had found sometimes knowing the how behind art helped more literal people get into the emotion behind the art.

Not that Hermione was cold. She certainly showed she wasn't the quiet bookworm on the dance floor. There was a fire to her; Harry could almost feel it. Even so, he got the feeling this fire wasn't something she let out very often.

The only problem was while Lisa and Lilith were better looking than Hermione, she was no slouch and the club was filled with a lot of very attractive women. Through the night Harry had felt it harder and harder to contain his libido.

Indeed hard was the active word in more ways than one! Harry couldn't help but think about what Tonks had told him. He wondered if just knowing more about magic was fueling the increase in what Tonks had said was going to happen naturally anyway. However Harry wasn't going to screw up with potential new friends by getting hung up by coming on too soon.

"You seem distracted. Are you all right Harry?" Hermione asked. All around them people were getting up to leave as others came in as the dancers rested between sets.

Harry shook his head, "Sorry. My cousin Tonks sat me down tonight and dropped more stuff on me. Bad enough what we got from McGonagall. It's a lot to take in." Harry looked around before looking back at Hermione, "Plus if you'll excuse me saying, the scenery around here is made to be distracting."

Hermione giggled slightly before covering it with a sip of her drink. "Well I hope so. I spent quite a bit of time getting ready for tonight. I've never really done this before."

"Too busy? You seem to be the type to be involved in a lot of school groups and the like," Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head, "Yes but really mostly a lack of friends." She looked sad for a moment before looking back at Harry, "I know I can be a bossy-know-it-all but I have to wonder about what we learned today. How powerful is the effect where Muggles can feel our magic and it affects their behavior? Or am I just hoping to find a reason to explain my lack of social graces?"

Harry shrugged, "Can't rightly say. My home life was a disaster with my relatives actively working against me. I did alright later in life when I mostly got away from them. Even so, well I guess I've been a loner for so long I didn't really seek people out. I do alright. Maybe your magic picked up your dislike of people picking on you and it worked to keep people away. Even those you'd want to get to know."

Hermione didn't reply as the DJ started speaking about the next set. Finally when the first dancer came out she finally nodded, "I could see that. You get picked on long enough you start seeing everyone as a potential bully or person who is going to knock you down. I know I tend to treat people warily at first. Maybe people see this as me being aloof or something."

Harry surreptitiously adjusted his pants as he watched the show. Damn he should have worn baggier trousers. Looking over he was glad to see Hermione hadn't noticed. "Well I guess we'll see how things turn out at Hogwarts where everyone is magical. Of course with you being a Muggleborn you'll have a different set of problems."

Before Hermione could reply Lisa suddenly came up and plopped tiredly down in the chair next to him, "There you two are! I thought we were here to dance. Not sit around and watch others do it for you."

Harry tried to ignore Lisa's heaving chest which drew attention to the low cut of her blouse. He was saved from staring as Paul came up and clapped him on the shoulder before taking an empty seat next to Hermione. "Oh I don't know Lisa. I can see the attraction. Those are some fine looking gals up there."

"It's actually a rather interesting performance. The previous one was practically a little opera," Hermione replied at Lisa's snort at Paul's comment.

"Where are Justin and Lilith?" Harry asked. He wished that Lisa had sat by Hermione. Besides the eye candy she was inadvertently showing him, her perfume and natural scent was rather intoxicating.

"Justin ran into some of his Eton buddies and they're chatting up something at the bar. Lilith was trying to find someone to dance with," Lisa said.

Harry pushed his mostly full drink towards Lisa, "Here; you look like you could use this more than me. I think I'll go help Lilith out." Harry got up quickly and hoped none of the girls saw the tightness in his pants.

However he didn't want to just bail on Hermione, "You okay to hang here, Hermione?"

The witch nodded, "I'll be fine. In fact maybe I'll prove to Lilith I'm not some sheltered society girl and take Paul here for a test drive."

Paul's normally impassive face split into a smirk, "I don't know; can you drive a stick?"

Harry laughed as he made his way away from the two witches who were groaning at the pun. He was making his way out of the theater towards the dance floor when a very fetching woman intercepted him.

"Like do you have a minute?" The woman asked in a strange American accent.

Harry couldn't help but smile and gave an exaggerated half-bow, "For a beauty such as you? At least two!"

The girl giggled at Harry, "Well you see it's like my girlfriends? You know they're like saying you're all hot and all. And I'm like I could be, you know, totally into him. And my girl Tiffany is like, 'Oh sure Britney, like could bag a Brit like him!' So I'm like 'fer sure I can totally be bagging him.' So here I am to, you know, totally bag you? So like how about it? I can show you how a Cali girl does it right."

Harry blinked at this. First off her accent and wording was like something out of a surfer show. The second was it was hard not to immediately accept given how she was a very good looking woman with all the right curves.

Britney took his pause while thinking it over a tactful reply as a tacit acceptance as she grabbed his hand and dragged him down a corridor. Harry didn't say anything till she went through a door which had a Keep Out sign. "Uhm Britney…"

"Chill out dude. It's like okay. I've been in here before," Britney said as she pulled him in to what appeared be a storage closet. Before Harry could say anything, the American knelt and began to undo his trousers.

"Britney!" Harry said but for some reason couldn't do more than that.

Britney looked up at him and winked, "That's my name! Don't like, you know, wear it out!"

Harry stammered out something intelligible but Britney had already liberated his straining manhood from his pants. With another wink, Britney took it into her mouth.

All of it; all the way to where her nose was buried into his pubic hair.

Harry let out a groan and sagged against the wall as the woman began to bob up and down on him.

OoOoO

Lilith leaned into Harry causing him to grit his teeth, happy that Lilith's head was turned the other way. That it was a slow dance was bad enough but Lilith had seen fit to almost grind against him. When she found proof of the effect this had on him, she seemed emboldened to do more. Harry was very aware of her body as she hugged him tightly as they swayed to the soulful tune.

Harry was worried. The night was spiraling out of control. At first things where manageable. Certainly trying to hide the tightness in his trousers was embarrassing but not really a problem. Yet now he felt keyed up and filled with energy. Harry thought of stories he'd read where the characters where said to have 'hot Mediterranean blood' which he never quite understood. Now he felt certain exactly what the authors had meant.

For awhile things had calmed down for him. After his encounter with the American girl, his libido seemed to slow down. Of course his quick journey into the utility closet had been surreal. She had blown him and then left with little more than a wink as she wiped her chin of any evidence. He hadn't seen her in the club since. Of course there was plenty to look at still.

Harry watched Hermione's very nice bum sway as she danced with Lisa as Paul had bowed out of the slow dance and Justin was still apparently arguing stock options of all things with his ex-school mates. This had not gone over well with the ladies which meant Harry and Paul had to pick up the slack. Well mostly Harry as it was starting to become evident that Tonks was right. Magical strength seemed to trump a lot of things. Harry felt Paul was more handsome than he was but the girls seemed to gravitate to him as often as they could. Luckily Paul either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Is that a hammer in your pocket Harry or are you just enjoying the night? I bet you could drive nails with what's going on down there," Lilith said in a throaty voice.

"Uhm, yeah…well," Harry stammered. He really wasn't shy but then again he didn't have that much experience with girls. His previous relationship with Mary had little in the way of innuendo and flirting. Indeed now that Harry thought back on it, their sex had almost been business like with two people meeting for a transaction. Both left satisfied physically but there really hadn't been much else going on.

"Oh it's alright Harry; we all know you can't help it. Hermione even told us some amusing statistics about men's anatomy while we were in the loo. No need to be embarrassed." Lilith said with a smile.

Harry couldn't help roll his eyes even if Lilith couldn't see it with her head on his shoulder like it was. He doubted Lilith really expected him not to be embarrassed that she could feel every inch of him. Harry couldn't help but think back to that utility closet and wished he knew Lilith (or either of the other two witches) well enough to come on to them. He felt flushed and hot and her body molded against him wasn't helping in the slightest.

"Look Lilith I…" Harry began but was interrupted by a tap on shoulder.

"Excuse me? Are you Harry Potter?"

Harry turned to see a women perhaps twenty or twenty-two in age who filled out a red sun dress very nicely. "Uhm, yeah?" Harry stammered.

"You have a phone call. You can follow me," the woman replied. Her accent was one Harry couldn't place.

Harry looked at Lilith who just shrugged, "It's okay. I need to hit the loo anyway. But don't stay to long, okay Harry?" she all but cooed.

Harry couldn't help but blush as the other woman gave a small snort of amusement. He followed her as she led him through the dancing throng. Harry was surprised to see she led him down the same corridor Britney had. As the woman moved towards the same door, Harry couldn't help but blurt out, "Excuse me, there is no phone in there."

The woman turned and winked, "I know." She pulled him into the room. "I'm not about to let Britney hog all the glory."

Harry's eyes widened at this. He also noticed the woman's accent had switched to something more like Britney's. "I take it you're Tiffany?"

The woman grinned in way of reply as she knelt in front of him. Harry leaned back and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe it but here he was about to get a blow from some American gal simply because she couldn't be one-upped by a friend. He wasn't complaining. Harry was thinking it was probably time for him to leave before he made an idiot of himself especially when the girls were starting to get really flirty. Even Hermione had begun to get rather forward during their last dance.

That idea he needed to leave was reinforced when he quickly blew his load after only a few minutes of Tiffany oral ministrations. The problem was even as Tiffany drained him, he remain semi-hard. Harry's sigh of completion was tinged with an 'can this day get any worse?' air.

Tiffany leaned down and kissed the head of his cock causing it to bob as if seeking out her mouth for more. "Doesn't look like this tiger wants back in its cage!"

Harry shook his head in agreement, "I should be going." He moved to pull up his trousers but Tiffany's own hands blocked him.

"I'm not done with you yet. Britney may talk a good game but she won't go the distance. Let me show you why I'm the one the guys back home are all after!" Tiffany said with a seductive smile. She grabbed his cock and guided it between her legs with one hand as she pulled up her the hem of her dress with the other.

Harry realized that Tiffany wasn't wearing any knickers as his manhood slid between her thighs and her moist, hot sex.

Before Harry could stop himself, he gulped nervously, "Ah, yes well, I can see why!" While he and Mary had done a lot, both were still virgins. As much as his hormones were going berserk, Harry wasn't sure he wanted his first time to be against a wall in a closet in a club!

However neither Tiffany nor his cock seemed to care about his internal worries. She had begun to rock back and forth causing him to slide between her thighs and sex. It felt wonderful and Harry soon found himself back to the hardened state he'd been in most of the night.

"Always good to see a man get it back up when he cums so soon!" Tiffany whispered in his ear.

"Look Tiffany…I'm not so sure about this!" Harry stammered even as he began to buck his own hips in counter-point to Tiffany's movements.

Tiffany reached and tapped his nose, "Ah ah! Too late to back out, Brit boy!" With that she undulated her hips in a move the professional burlesque dancers would have been envious of and suddenly Harry felt him slip inside her.

With the deed done, Harry found himself unable to do more than give out a happy moan of pleasure as his hips continued to move in that most ancient of rhythms. Tiffany met his thrusts with her own as she leaned forward to snog him.

In the small (very small) part of his brain being rational, Harry marveled at how little losing his virginity entailed. One moment outside, next moment inside. He was sure with a girl losing her hymen it was a radically different prospect but it was obvious Tiffany had taken care of that problem long ago.

Unfortunately her obvious skills in what they were doing brought it too quickly to a close. The contractions of her sex around his cock to say nothing of the silky feeling as he thrust into her was too much for Harry. Again in just a few minutes, he felt himself losing it. He tried to stammer out a warning but Tiffany simply snogged him harder as she ground against him.

As his orgasmic rush went through him and into Tiffany, Harry had trouble keeping his balance. For his third orgasm of the night, Harry felt he came harder and longer. He felt lightheaded as his cock pulsed five or six times.

All Harry found himself capable of was to continue thrusting spasmodically as he moaned deeply against the tongue Tiffany seemed intent at shoving down his throat.

Finally Tiffany pulled back and his cock fell out of her with a dirty sounding pop. Harry sagged against the wall but was brought up short by the gleam in Tiffany's eye. She was staring at his cock which was still semi-hard. Harry stared at it as well. He had heard enough complaints from girls that guys usually lost it after cumming and just rolled over and went to sleep. While panting and lightheaded from the exertion, Harry didn't feel at all like sleeping. If anything, his blood seemed to be humming with energy.

"Hmm, I guess a woman's work is never done!" Tiffany said with a smile. To Harry's surprise she turned around and bent over. With a deft hand, she took him and guided his cock back into her. "How about we make it a little rough this time? Now's your chance to be a Yank and ride me hard and put me away wet!"

Harry could only blink at this as the woman laughed as she began to gyrate against him. Acting almost on auto-pilot, Harry fell away from the wall and grabbed her by the hips. In but a few thrusts, he was hard again. It had to be magic. He never had this issue before. He'd never gotten hard again after rubbing one off before nor had he recovered so quickly when Mary and he had experimented with sex.

With a shake of his head, Harry decided it didn't matter. It was too much not to be entranced by the writhing girl in front of him. She was matching his increasingly hard thrusts with her own as she began to verbally (and quite dirtily) egg him on.

Soon the sound of their bodies strongly slapping together echoed through the little closet. Harry was happy that even down the corridor, the music from the club was loud as Tiffany began to become louder with almost each thrust.

She even screamed a long, piercing shriek after announcing that she was cumming. This pushed Harry over the edge which kept him from worrying that any moment the bouncers were going to come and open the door and call the police.

None of this happened as the two fumbled through their orgasms with their bodies jerking as they gasped for air. Again Harry was amazed at how long he came. It felt like Tiffany's sex was swimming with his load.

Tiffany turned around and looked at the evidence of his excess started to dribble down her leg. For some reason this was funny to her because she started to laugh. "I guess I should have kept a towel handy."

Harry blinked at this before he guffawed loudly. "Well I don't want to panic but we need to get out of here. I can't believe nobody heard you."

Tiffany shrugged, "I've always been a bit of a screamer. It's usually not a problem." She grabbed her purse and pulled out a handkerchief and pair of knickers. She cleaned herself up as best she could before offering it to Harry.

Harry took it with a raised eyebrow. It was soaked and was going to do him any good. He used it anyway thinking he could go to the loo and clean himself up a bit better."

As he bent over to clean himself up, a pinch on his chest almost made him yelp. The portkey on the string had snagged on the few chest hairs he had. It had happened a few times over the night and he'd almost taken it off. But he had been mindful of the dangers that both McGonagall and Tonks had warned him of.

Harry suddenly bolted upright and looked at Tiffany. She was putting her knickers on and wasn't looking at him. He quickly pulled up his pants and moved between her and the door.

"Tiffany?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes?" the woman said looking up with a smile which faded at the stony look on Harry's face.

"How did you know my name?" Harry asked.

"What?" Tiffany replied with a surprised look.

Harry quickly moved in and grabbed Tiffany by both wrists.

"Hey! What are you doing? Get off me!" Tiffany yelled.

"I asked you a question. How did you know my name?" Harry said tightly.

"Let me go! Britney told me!" Tiffany yelled as she struggled against his hold.

"Bollocks! I didn't tell her my name. She didn't give me the chance. So I'm asking you again, how did you know my name? Tell me!" Harry ordered.

Tiffany stiffened at the tone before crumpling in on herself. "Okay, okay. Just give me a second, will you Harry? Merlin! I guess that answers the question about whether or not you're the Heir of House Black."

Harry released the woman's wrists in shocked and backed away. To his amazement, Tiffany's features seemed to blur and reform into another face.

"Tonks!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yes you prat! It's me. Sorry about the slip of the tongue there. I hadn't meant for you to know it was me," the witch said. "Oh well at least we can clean up now." Tonks opened a side pocket on her purse and slid out her wand. With a few movements, Tonks had cleaned herself (and her knickers) and done the same for Harry.

Harry just stared at Tonks' purse throughout it all. The pouch barely looked big enough for a pack of gum.

"Expansion charms. Bigger on the inside," Tonks said with a grin.

"How Doctor Who-ish," Harry said before shaking his head, "What is going on?"

Tonks sighed, "I told you. My job is to take care of you. I hadn't expected to have to do anything tonight but if wishes were brooms, hags would ride. I could feel your magic starting to get over-stimulated to so I took action."

"Wait, you were Britney too?" Harry asked.

Tonks shrugged, "Simple really. I graduated the honor student in transfigurations in my year. Changing my clothes is child's play to me. As you have seen, changing my face is just as easy."

"What about your accent?" Harry asked.

Tonks grinned, "Well I got to watch a lot of telly growing up. I can alter my voice-box when I change but the accent still takes practice. Did you like my Valley Girl?"

Harry shook his head, "But why do this in the first place?"

Tonks rolled her eyes, "Look Harry, you're new to magic, new to our society and just new to a lot of things. How did I get introduced to you today?"

Harry thought about it, "As my cousin."

"Exactly! Now even though we're not that closely related, you say 'cousin' to most Muggles and the sex is off. That and I didn't think me showing up and saying, 'Alright off we go for a blow; that's a good lad' was going to be something you'd accept."

Harry nodded, "Then no. Now? I think I might just be able to look past the cousin part."

Tonks chuckled at this.

"Still what did you mean about me being the heir?" Harry asked. He looked at the door, "Shouldn't we be getting out of here and continue this someplace safer?"

"No worries, Harry. I spelled this room earlier. No one is going to enter and the Weird Sisters could play a full set and no one outside would hear us. It's why I didn't mind being so vocal. Thanks for that by the way. For a beginner you certainly jumped right in there."

"Thanks," Harry deadpanned. He was embarrassed at how much her words made him feel rather macho of all things. It wasn't something Harry had felt very often.

"As for you being the Heir, well you ordered me to tell you how I knew your name and I felt compelled to answer. Only Sirius or the heir of House Black could do that. Ergo, you are the rightful Heir of House Black."

Harry ran a hand through his unruly hair, "Bollocks! No wonder I'm having problems tonight!"

Tonks shook her head, "I think you'll be good for the rest of the night. As you may have noticed, you really know how to blow a wad!"

Harry snorted at the crude imagery even as he realized she was just confirming what he'd been thinking earlier. It had been the magic.

"So this is going to be part of your job? To sex me up when I'm getting too charged up with energy?" Harry asked.

Tonks made a face, "Don't make it sound like such a chore, Harry. I can assure you that tonight was no burden on me. Mum is always going on about my dating habits. Now I can scratch my numerous itches and be doing my duty to House Black at the same time. It's a win-win for me and I didn't hear you complaining earlier. Besides accidental magic from someone your age and your power level is not something to take lightly. As a kid of six, you blew up a trash bin. Now? You probably could blow up a car or even a small lorry. So excuse me if I think sexing you up is the preferred option."

Harry leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. "So magic is real. The magical world is this backwards place filled with guilds, a magical powered caste system, institutionalized racism, sexism and a on top of it all, I need a keeper to sex me up before I blow up something up. Never mind I'm a celebrity for something I didn't know I did and will probably be hounded by paparazzi and fan-girls."

Tonks laughed, "Sounds about right. Happy belated birthday Harry!"

Harry shook his head as Tonks continued to laugh, "Fuck me running!"

XxXxX

Chapter Eight: Harry ends up at Hermione's apartment and stuff happens. Then Harry and Paul head out to Mr. Chu's place and even more stuff happens. All this and more stuff coming next time!

XxXxX

A/N: Please insert standard apology for the lateness of this update. Blah, blah, excuses, excuses. In regard to the below, this chapter might make it seem like this fic is going to go a certain way, but I think you shall be surprised that it's not going to be that way.

Profile Update: I've added a big section regarding my fics on my profiles. I would like all who read my fics to check it out, especially before reviewing. While many of my readers may or may not care, as an author I feel a certain duty not to continue certain tropes even if I am writing a lot of certain parts of these fics from life experiences.

The Arthur Weasley Paradox: Forget for a moment the question of how did anyone learn Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived given that everyone involved was either dead or on the run. Canon shows that the news of Voldemort's demise was pretty immediate so someone had to give out the official story. That someone was most probably Dumbledore because while it is true Hagrid may have blabbed, who would believe him? He was seen as an oaf by most everyone.

But the question remains why did Harry needed the blood wards to protect him even if this meant leaving him in an abusive situation when a man who works his day job with Muggles can't pronounce electricity or policeman? He even couldn't tell a Five pound note from a Twenty even though anyone who has seen English money knows it has numbers printed on it like almost every currency in the world!

So how are Death Eaters who are Purebloods, who are the least likely to know anything about Muggles, supposed to find Harry? Indeed as I've often said, it is suspicious that the focus is so much on Harry. Sure JKR needed that because Harry is the POV character. However the problem is by spreading the BWL story, whoever did it set up the very threat the blood wards were designed to deal with. If the emphasis had been on Lily and everyone in the know kept silent about Harry surviving the AK, then there wouldn't be that much incentive to go after him. That and I have a hard time believing he couldn't have been fostered with Susan Bones given the protection one would expect the niece of a high ranking DMLE member to have.

Britney Speak: It's rather difficult to write Valley Speak considering that the accent makes many sentences sound like a question which is how I wrote it. MS-Word's grammar checker hates Valley speak! The funny thing is I grew up in California and the person who had the thickest Valley Girl accent I ever heard was a guy from Kentucky I went to BASIC with.

Wishes and Brooms: Don't know where I got it but it's not mine.

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