A/N Thank you my lovers of Merle Dixon! We are a small but mighty group :) This chapter picks up right where we left off, with Beth on Merle's lap. *sigh*
He woke up just like he'd fallen asleep, with her on his lap and in his arms. He could tell by her soft breathing she was still asleep. It surprised him how much this pleased him.
He owned it and there was use no denying it, he was a hit and run kind of guy. Never cared to stay around and cuddle with anyone, ever. But he found that this suited him real good. Beth Greene asleep in his arms brought Merle Dixon a sense of peace. Peace was a thing he knew little about. Life for him seemed to always have consisted of one form of chaos after another.
Would he really be able to get accustomed to a life such as this? Daryl had, but even though they were brothers, Daryl was a very different man than him. He was the sweet one with the soft inner core. And he'd been in love with Becky since he was a kid. Yeah that was different.
He was afraid of having these feelings for her, afraid of being so vulnerable. As soon as she figured him out, saw through him, she'd be gone.
He was an asshole who'd done every kind of wrong a man could do, and had been quite proud at the times he did those things. No one had to tell him that he was an asshole, fuck, no one knew better than him what he was.
She began to stir and he pulled her closer to him. He didn't want her getting up and moving away from him. Not now, he wasn't ready.
And damn if he didn't want her right now. Hell he wasn't even sure he could make that work as beat up as he was. But he'd sure be willing to try if she'd be agreeable.
She stirred again and those pretty blue eyes opened and he smiled, "Hey Cupcake ya have a nice rest did ya?"
And fuck if she didn't wrap an arm around one of his shoulders and nuzzle her little face sleepily into his neck, "Yes Merle." And he felt that old familiar stirring and he knew, yeah he could make love to her right now.
But that's not how he was planning to have this happen with Beth Greene. He was going to do this the way it would be right for her. The romance, taking the time, little steps to get to that big step. He was going to try and break his old pattern, he wanted to do that with her. He wanted to be a good man to this woman. He never wanted to treat her any way but right. Fuck he wondered if he was capable.
So he kissed her on the forehead and said, "I know yer sleepy it's been a real long day. Ya better get ta bed now an get yourself a good night sleep."
She sleepily rose from his lap and looking at her he almost regretted that decision he'd just made to be honorable, because damn this woman, ah shit. "G'night now Beth, see ya in the mornin'."
"Goodnight Merle, sleep tight." And she walked to the guest room.
He woke to the smells of coffee and bacon. That was a first. His whole body ached but he hurried to put on a pair of sleep pants a t-shirt and his house shoes. Not because he was thirsty or hungry, no he just wanted to see her.
She was at the range wearing a pair of flannel sleep shorts and a little t-shirt. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing fuzzy pink slippers. All he could think about was how much he'd like waking up to that sight every morning.
"Ya know Cupcake ya don't have ta do all this for me. I appreciate it just a whole lot, it's wonderful. I just don't want ya thinkin' ya gotta care for me. I should be cookin' for you."
She smiled up at him, "Well sometime soon I may let you do the cooking but for now I want to care for you." And she leaned up and kissed his cheek and damn if he wasn't looking forward to changing his ways, being the kind of man Beth Greene deserved.
But first he had to kill those two bastards.
He'd puttered around the place just a bit, checking on things. It didn't look like anything had been bothered. Not in the house or in the garage.
Just that little bit of walking around, the minor activity, had seemed like a lot to his weakened body and now he was back in his chair. Johnny Cash was on the player and he was reading a book she'd gotten him. But mostly he was watching her.
She had her easel set up in the living room and she was painting a wildflower scene from a photo she'd taken. He was fascinated by the process, by her talent, by her.
There was a knock on the kitchen door and she put her things down to answer. "Nah Beth you keep a goin' there. It's either Little Brother or Rick."
Then he called to her from the kitchen, "It's Daryl I'ma show him sumthin' in the garage, be back in a few."
Once in the privacy of the garage Daryl told him what he'd found out about the two remaining shitheads. Where they were hold up and where they hung out. And he made his offer, "I can handle it for ya brother, ya still got healin' ta do."
"Nah Little Brother I'ma take care a these guys an their buddy Joe, and then I'm outta the killin' business an on the straight n narrow." Daryl just nodded. He knew what was making his brother sing this new tune.
"C'mon in an say hey ta Beth 'fore ya go. Ya wanna beer?"
"Sure I'm always happy ta have a beer with my brother. Can't stay long though, I gotta pick up a few things for Becky n get on home. I got a deer ta butcher."
He handed Beth a little package, "Becky wanted me ta give ya this."
The brothers went to the porch to drink their beers and she looked at the small package, she hadn't opened it yet, but she felt so touched the other woman had thought to give her a gift. It was wrapped in fabric with a ribbon also made of fabric. She opened it to find it held an intricately beaded leather bracelet. There was a note written in small feminine handwriting, "A small gift for you Beth. The leather is from a deer Daryl harvested, the beading is from my heart. Your friend, Becky." Beth was surprised to find the little note brought tears to her eyes.
Six Weeks Later
He'd felt like he was 100% back for the past two weeks, and so late tonight he'd finish the job his little brother had started.
Once it was done, that was it for him. His new leaf was going to get turned over. He was going to do everything he could to become the man Beth Greene would want. The kind of man she thought he was.
He'd already taken care of Joe Jones; he'd never cause another problem. It had been easy enough. The guy was known to like a little something from the needle to mellow him out. Merle had an informant on the inside doing two more years on a big drug rap, but Merle had saved his ass from a far harsher sentence. The dude owed him. Merle had visited the informant and slipped him a hot shot. He told him to be sure it was Joe Jones' next fix. As a bonus the informant would get a deposit of $75 a month in his commissary for the rest of his stay.
Joe Jones was dead in his cell the next morning. As far as the authorities had been concerned it was just another O.D. by an inmate. No one really cared.
Rick had asked Merle about it, he'd expected that. Hell he knew Rick knew what he was all about. What Merle also knew was as long as it was "clean" Rick wouldn't pursue it.
He took her out to a casual dinner after work to that little bistro she loved and he could barely tolerate, of course he'd neglected to tell her he didn't care for it. He wanted to continue the evening, take her home and kiss her and play around a little. Instead he pretended to have a terrible headache.
He felt guilty because she was worried. "I'm so sorry Merle. Is there anything I can do for you?"
He was still the man he'd always been in so many ways because what he wanted to answer was, "Hell yeah fuck my brains out, I'll feel a whole lot better." But what he did say was, "That's real sweet Cupcake, but what I probably need is just a good night's rest."
He did just like Daryl had, the same supplies, clothes, ultra-sharp throwaway knife, and a stolen car. He went to their new flop, a meth house he knew real well, he had a couple of his informants who flopped there. He slipped in and did one and then he did the other. Just like Daryl had done the first two. He dumped the stolen vehicle and picked up his own, and then he drove to Daryl's.
He stripped, threw everything in the burn barrel and he got the paper sack with the knife, dropped the sack in the barrel. He took himself, the knife and the bar of dial soap to the creek.
They'd heard the truck pull up. She'd wanted to go to the window, Daryl gently took her by the shoulders, "It's Merle Becky ya don't wanna be lookin'. Can ya put the coffee on for him please? I'll put a couple more logs on the fire an get a blanket."
He stayed long enough to warm up and then made his way home. They were all taken care of, now he could get on with his life.
He was surprised it took until 11 the next morning for Rick to call him in his office. "Whadya know Merle?"
"Let's see, I know its Friday, I know I'm clean an I wish I was high, an I know I got a drug deal goin' down in 'bout 45 minutes an I know I oughta be there ta make a bust. Whadya know Sheriff?"
"What I know is in the past two weeks Joe Jones and what was left of his gang have all turned up dead. I know I'm not a big believer in coincidences. How about you?"
"Nope, I ain't either. I'll puzzle on it for ya though an let ya know if I come up with anythin'."
"Yeah you do that Merle, and any busts you make today you make sure they're clean."
"Yessir Sheriff only kinda bust I make is a squeaky clean one." And Merle figured that was the end of it. He knew Grimes couldn't give a fuck less about the dead men, he was glad to see them and their brand of trouble gone. As long as there was no evidence and no one could come back on him.
She'd greeted him with concern that morning, "Are you feeling better today Merle?"
"I am thank you Beth. Ya know ya don't have ta worry 'bout me so much, it was just a headache. I'll be just fine for our date tonight an I'm looking forward to it."
And he planned to talk to her, why the hell not? He was on a roll this week he might as well make it clear to her just what it was he wanted from her, and in turn he was anxious to hear just what it was she wanted.
xxxx
They'd been dating for a couple of months now, hell she'd stayed at his house for four days when he'd first come home from the hospital, but he'd promised himself he'd take it slow, and he had.
He hadn't pushed for anything, oh he wanted to but he'd held back. Truth was though, he didn't really care to do it that way anymore, shit he was ready. Long passed ready.
He cared about Beth a lot more than he ever wanted to. She was smart, sweet and talented as an artist both on paper and musically. She was warm and damn, she was beautiful. He was a beaten man and he knew that, and fuck if he didn't love her. That was a little something he hadn't planned on.
He picked her up early at 6:30, and they went for easy and casual, Mexican food. She decided to try a Margarita and that made him smile. It didn't take much for her to catch a buzz and she was even cuter than usual when she did.
And it might loosen her up to talk a little. When she ordered the second he questioned, "Ya know I don't mind Cupcake but are ya gonna be okay with two?" and then he'd laughed, "A course now that I got my strength back I can carry ya if I gotta."
And there was that bright red face he loved. "I'm getting my courage up because I want to talk to you about something."
He felt some concern now, she wasn't going to cut him loose was she? Wouldn't that just be the way it'd go? He finally finds a woman, falls for her and boom, he's sent packing. He'd expected that, expected she'd catch on to the asshole he was. Maybe this was it.
But she smiled at him so sweetly he hoped to fuck that wasn't it.
They went to her place and he went right to "his" cabinet first thing, poured himself a stiff shot of Jameson to calm his anxiety, "Can I get ya anythin' Beth?"
She turned pink again, "After my drinking I think I probably just need a glass of water please."
He brought the drinks back to the sofa with him, handed her the water, bent and nuzzled into her neck. He pulled back and asked her, "What are ya wantin' ta talk about Beth?"
She swallowed hard and that face was glowing pink now, "I know we're, you know, getting close to that point Merle. I know you're ready for more um physical closeness and honestly I am to." He was already feeling a whole lot better. "And I don't want you to be disappointed in me." And now she looked worried.
"What is it Beth? I don't think I could be disappointed in you."
And now he was sure he saw little tears in her eyes, "It's just that, well I have to be honest with you because well I know you'll know, you'll be able to tell. I'm not a virgin."
Shit, he'd never been more relieved to hear anything, in fact he wanted to laugh. Could she be any fucking cuter? He didn't know how. He put his arms around her tightly, "Sweetness, ya think that's gonna make me want ya less? Ya think I ain't been around a little? Or a lot? Why would I expect ya ta be a virgin?" Although truth was, he was surprised because she sure as hell acted inexperienced.
It must have been the alcohol because she continued, she told her story of her one experience. Some boyfriend from high school she'd dated her whole senior year. He was the most popular boy at school and he'd treated her nice, told her he loved her and she'd believed it. Then that night after the senior prom she'd given in to his demands for more. After that he never wanted anything to do with her again.
"He'd just been playing a game with me, trying to make a conquest and when he did he dropped me."
Well this was a lot to digest, she may not technically be a virgin but shit, she may as well be if that was it. One quick night with a high school boy who probably hadn't properly seen to her satisfaction. She hadn't had any kind of good experience. And damn that had been a few years ago. Yep, she might as well be a virgin.
"Well I'm real sorry ta hear someone would treat ya like that Cupcake, that ain't right but it does happen. He was obviously an asshole who didn't deserve a fine woman like you. See here though, I ain't here just for that Beth, I promise ya that. If that was all it was gonna be for me that's what I'd tell ya. I'd be honest 'bout it. So I'm bein' honest with ya now when I tell ya, I love ya Beth. I ain't ever told no one that except Daryl and Becky. I ain't ever told a woman or felt it for one. Not until you Beth, yer the woman for me the woman I wanna have in my life. Cuz I do love ya."
And then she had tears, "I love you too, I've known for a while now."
And he kissed her with a new desire. Merle Dixon was overwhelmed in so many ways. And he wanted her in a new way, and he wanted to prove this love he felt.
"Can we take next weekend and go away together? I'd like ta take ya to Atlanta, take ya out wine ya an dine ya, and I'd like ta make love to ya Beth."
When he looked at her that way she knew she wanted this too, she wanted it more than anything. "Yes."
A/N Well, well. We covered an awful lot of territory with Merle Dixon in this chapter. The next one might get a little hot :) Thanks so much for reading, I would appreciate your thoughts / comments. xo
We've had an introduction to Daryl and Becky and as I promised many of you, I've written a separate fic of their backstory. It's titled "The Tale of Daryl and Becky" (keeping it simple), and has been posted here on FF if you're interested.