The Littlest Things DxH
Disclaimer: As I walk through the valley of fan fiction, I see disclaimers everywhere I turn. Plagiarism lurks around every corner, trying to find that one little author who forgot his or her disclaimer. Well, ha, I didn't forget my disclaimer. I don't own anything, but if I did, I would be Mrs. Tom Felton.
Author's Note- Wow! Thank you so much for the reads and reviews (ChasingStarlight, xNikkixMasscurex, firebirdflame, honestlyybailee, and purplekitten7). You guys are the best!
Prologue:
Hello, fellow readers. Honestly, do I still have to do this? Geez, I've only opened every other chapter in this story. I think (or at least hope) that you all know who I am. JUST in case you don't, I'm the narrator. Well, well, well. We do have quite a predicament here. Hermione is saying that Draco can just pack his bags and leave, but Draco isn't about to give up. Draco is saying that Hermione should just fall to her knees and worship him, but no way in hell is Hermione going to do that. They really need to get a grip. I mean, can't they work something out? Like "I'll like you if you stay twenty feet away from me." See, they'll both be happy. Well, I guess they're too idiotic to take my advice. I mean, who listens to the narrator? Anyway, enough of my blathering. Let's get on with it, shall we?
Ch. 7:
Hermione stomped into the Great Hall. Great, just great, I got stalked by my worst enemy, my worst enemy decided to go on a let's-get-Hermione-chained-to-a-wall hunt, and the Sorting Ceremony's half-over. I love my life so much right now.
Hermione quickly took her seat at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Ron gave her a quizzical look, but Hermione shot them another look that clearly said 'Don't ask.'
"Now, all of Hogwarts, I present to you our new Head Boy and Head Girl," boomed Dumbledore. Hermione turned her head towards the teachers' table so fast she swore she got whiplash. "Draco Malfoy of Slytherin –" almost inaudible boos from Harry and Ron followed – "and Hermione Granger of Gryffindor!" Hermione got up from the table slowly. There is absolutely NO WAY I'm standing next to that foul disgusting atrocious despicable little ferret! She walked in front of the podium where Draco was waiting for her and turned to address the Houses.
"Hello, Hogwarts! I am very excited to be your Head Girl this year. We will have a lot of fun events planned, but I remind you all to first and foremost focus on your studies." Groans could be heard throughout the hall; everyone, including the first-years who got clued in pretty quickly, knew how much of a bookworm Hermione was. Now Draco took the stand.
"Everyone, forget everything she just said. I will make sure that this year is the best yet!" A huge cheer echoed through the hall; even the Gryffindors had perked up. Hermione barely resisted the urge to smack him. I didn't think I was capable of murder, but Malfoy has made me reconsider.
As the two Heads returned to their tables, Hermione shot Draco a look. He was looking at her. "Well, Malfoy, are you planning another way to get me chained to a wall?" she hissed. Or are you planning something worse?
"Oh, Granger, I'm planning something much worse," replied Draco. Hermione gulped. I was afraid of that. Believe it or not, I sometimes hate that I'm always right.
She sat down, utterly exhausted. She looked at Malfoy again, now surrounded by his groupies and Pansy. "What the hell do they see in him," she muttered under her breath. "His guy friends and cling-on Pansy make me nauseated."
STOP! STOP! STOP! HOLD IT!
Sorry, terribly sorry. It's the narrator. I just had to butt in. Notice how Hermione separated Pansy from the other groupies. Now, before you guys go all "She did it because she's jealous," she did it because she can't stand the girl herself. Pansy's entire personality, her behavior, her prejudices: they all disgust Hermione. Hermione separated Pansy because she did not want to give Pansy the decency of just being called a "groupie." However, perhaps Hermione's motives for doing so will change… Hey, I'm just the narrator. Carry on.
Hermione felt her stomach roll. That's really sad if just looking at them makes me want to puke my guts out. She looked at them to see Pansy playing with Draco's hair as Draco lay on her lap. Hermione bent over. I, as always, stand corrected. That's really sad if just looking at the two of them makes me want to hex them all the way to Australia even while puking my guts out.
"Hey, Hermione?" Hermione tore her eyes from the Slytherin table and found Ron looking at her with a worried expression. "Are you okay? Did Malfoy upset you?"
"Oh no, I'm fine and Malfoy didn't upset me," replied Hermione. As if being chained to a wall by Malfoy didn't upset me. But, of course, Ron surely does not need to know that tidbit of information. "Thanks, Ron. Thank Merlin I have you and Harry to keep my head on straight."
"Well, to tell you the truth, your head looks a bit crooked to me," a familiar voice drawled from behind her. Hermione whipped around to face her insulter. Malfoy. Honest to Merlin, CAN'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!??? Can I take out a magical restraining order that makes him cross-eyed if he gets within ten feet of me? Or can I be above the law and curse him until his head's up his butt – which it already is mentally, but physically too would be a plus – and then hang him on the Whomping Willow for a joyride?
"Why so silent, Granger? Cat got your tail?" said Malfoy, smirking.
"First off, Malfoy, it's 'cat got your tongue'. Second, I'm silent because I'm trying to think of the best possible way to humiliate, mutilate, and then exterminate you." Draco looked taken-aback. Blunt, much?
Harry and Ron just looked at Hermione. Either she's got Post-Mental-Syndrome or whatever the heck that thing she gets every month or she's really, really, REALLY pissed.
Hermione was still staring down Malfoy. Finally, she turned away to face her friends. "I'll see you in a little bit. I just want to check out the Head suite and take a shower. I'll be back down in about hour." She turned back to Malfoy. "And if I catch you doing ANYTHING in that suite while I'm in there– breathing, blinking, SMIRKING – you WILL die a horrible, painful death. Mark my words, Malfoy. I don't ever lie." She spun on her heel and walked out of the Great Hall.
"I promise, Granger, that I won't take a single gulp of air in the entire suite while you're gracing it with your wonderful presence," shouted Draco satirically. Hermione spun on her heel again to face Malfoy. Her face looked torn between hope and disbelief.
"I'll hold you to that."
Draco just smirked. 'Mark my words?' Granger, I know you can do better than that. Perhaps you should mark my words instead. 'Don't ever hold me to anything.'
Author's PS- Readers, do you like it so far? Draco is a devious little ferret, isn't he? I'll update as soon as I can. Reviews and constructive welcome.