The Yamucha Chronicle

ooxoo

Part 7: Fortunate?

After the 21st tournament, Goku chose not to return to Kame Island. He wanted to search for the dragonballs instead. So Bulma gave him the dragonball radar and he left. When Goku set out, I don't think he intended to gather all the dragonballs or make a wish. He just wanted to find a certain dragonball. The four star dragonball was important to him for some reason. I didn't ask why.

Goku left on his own although Krillen, Bulma and I helped out when we could. Lunch even helped out. But for the most part we were all in the background, dealing with our own lives and struggling just to keep track of Gokus escapades. So Goku defeated the bulk of the Red Ribbon Army without us. By the time we learned of Gokus intentions to destroy the Red Ribbon Army Headquarters, the fight had already begun. And by the time we arrived to try and help out... The fight was over.

In the process of defeating the Red Ribbon Army, Goku had acquired six of the dragonballs. There was only one dragonball left to find and Goku now had a reason for wanting to find it. Something about needing the wish to reincarnate someone. Goku didn't waste much time explaining the situation to us, he just wanted to fix things. And he needed to have all the dragonballs in order to fix things. And for some reason, the last dragonball wasn't showing up on the dragonball radar.

Master Roshi suggested that Goku should go to a certain elderly fortune teller to get information about the last dragonball. Goku was given a map but he couldn't read it. So Krillen, Puar and I decided to tag along. That's how we met Uranai Baba. Even though she wasn't a martial artist, I'd heard stories about her while growing up. Not surprising, really. As long as people are superstitious, there will always be stories about witches. But when that witch happens to be cranky, dangerous, insanely rich and over five hundred years old... Yea. Stories galore.

We had to wait in line for a chance to speak with Uranai Baba. While we waited, Goku left. He returned quickly though and brought someone with him - a little boy named Upa. Apparently Upa was a friend that Goku had made in his recent wanderings. At first I wanted to protest Upas presence. The kid looked to be under five years old. If anything dangerous came up then he'd have been at risk. But... Goku had brought him, so I didn't say anything. Because for all I knew, Upa might be Gokus equal in strength. And even if he wasn't a warrior, if Upa had Gokus respect then he'd have Gokus protection as well.

Finally our turn came and we were guided to the witch. Looking at Uranai Baba, danger was not the first word that leapt to mind. She's barely two feet tall and doesn't project a particularly evil aura or anything. Even though I'd grown up hearing all kinds of stories about her... Those were just stories. I didn't know if there was an ounce of truth to any of them. And even if there was some truth to them, why worry? Goku was there, that gave us an extra advantage. Uranai Baba couldn't be expecting anything like Goku. Heck, she might not even be expecting anything like Krillen. Or me.

Since we couldn't afford to buy Uranai Babas advice, we agreed to battle five of her guards in order to earn her help. We even agreed to let Uranai Baba set the rules and choose the arena for each battle. It was an easy choice. Stupid, in retrospect, but simple at the time. Krillen, Goku and I - less than a week ago, we'd all placed in the 21st Tenkaichi Budoukai. So we were confident. We didn't expect Uranai Babas guards to be a challenge.

Goku was probably willing and able to fight. If we'd let him, I'm sure that he would have ripped through every single one of the guards on his own with ease. But Goku had been in a lot of battles recently - what with defeating the Red Ribbon Army and all - so Krillen volunteered for the first fight.

The first guard was a vampire. The vampire had two advantages over Krillen. First, the vampire could fly. Krillen couldn't. None of us could fly, not yet. Second, the vampire could change shape. Krillen wasn't able to change shape and worse, he couldn't land a hit. I sympathized. I knew from experience - all the times when I'd tried to spar against Puar or even Oolong - how hard it could be to hit something when that something keeps changing shape. Krillen wasn't used to fighting a shifter, he didn't know what to aim at and so he quickly became frustrated. Which nearly proved fatal. The vampire sunk its teeth into Krillens head and drew enough blood to make him faint.

At that point, it became obvious how limited our formal training had been. We'd only been trained to deal with other martial artists. We weren't prepared to deal with magical opponents. We'd been training to compete in tournaments like the Tenkaichi Budoukai, tournaments where weapons and magic and killing were illegal. We hadn't come prepared to fight to the death. We'd agreed to defeat Uranai Babas guards but we hadn't expected that we might need to kill the guards in order to defeat them. And these guards were supernatural warriors, what if they couldn't be killed?

Puar volunteered to take over. She wanted to test the limits of the vampires shapeshifting talent. Upa also wanted to help. And I had a plan. Once Krillen was bandaged up and had started to recover consciousness, we asked that Upa and Puar be permitted to enter the fight together. The vampire had no objections so Uranai Baba allowed it. Working together, Upa and Puar outwitted the vampire and defeated him.

Forgive me if I kind of skip ahead here but I don't care to recall what happened next. Because the next two fights were mine. The second guard was invisible - and we couldn't detect energy back then, so you can just imagine what a pain that was. The third guard was a homicidal corpse and it didn't help that the fight took place on a narrow walkway suspended over a pool of acid. I very nearly died in each of these battles. Krillen - with some help from Goku, Master Roshi and Bulma - managed to save me from the invisible guard. Goku rescued me from the homicidal corpse.

I spent a while in daze. Physically aching but mentally kinda numb, detached. Guess it was some kind of mild shock. I know that Goku beat the homicidal corpse but I don't really remember that battle. The news that Uranai Baba was Master Roshis elder sister didn't even make me blink.

By the time my brain finally came to terms with the fact that I was still alive, Goku had defeated the fourth guard. The group returned to the outdoor arena, for which I was immensely grateful. Quite a relief to get away from the stench of flesh-eating acid. And even though I had failed miserably - that's how I felt about those battles, never mind that I'd held my own - I managed a hint of optimism. Because if Goku had defeated the fourth guard then there was only one guard left to beat. And Goku was practically invincible. Victory couldn't be far off.

Then I glanced up and noticed that Goku was struggling. To make matters weirder, his current opponent - Uranai Babas fifth guard - appeared to be human. An advanced martial artist, to be sure, but still a regular human being. I couldn't believe it. How was this possible? Master Roshi seemed to understand the situation but I didn't. Not until the ghost did something that caught Goku by surprise.

The ghost grabbed Goku by the tail. Now don't get me wrong, any bully in the world could have done that - or at least tried to. Goku was fast but he didn't hide his tail. However this opponent had been very deliberate. The way he'd done it had made it very clear that somehow, he knew. This guard... This elderly gentlemen in the fighting uniform, his face hidden by a cat mask... He knew Gokus weak spot. At least for me, the connection was more or less instant. I'm sure that Krillen, Bulma, Upa and Puar figured it out with equal speed. Even Goku must have had his suspicions. If this opponent knew Gokus weak spot - could the opponent know Goku? Who WAS this guard?

We learned that soon enough. An exchange of kamehamehas lead to the revelation. The guard removed his mask and forfeited. Goku recognized his adoptive grandfather. Yep. Uranai Baba had recruited the legendary Gohan to be her fifth guard. We were in the ghostly presence of a warrior that had won almost every tournament he'd entered, including several Budoukais. While alive this guy had been Master Roshis best student, Ox Kings best friend and Gokus first teacher. He'd also been the Champion of Earth enough times that one of the biggest arenas in the Tenkaichi Budoukai stadium is named after him.

The ghost of Gohan praised Goku, had a short whispered conversation with Master Roshi and then returned to the afterlife. I'm not sure if a living person can shake a ghosts hand. Perhaps it's just as well that there wasn't time for introductions. I wouldn't have known what to say.

All the stories that I'd heard about Uranai Baba had completely failed to do justice to her skill. The most creative stories paled next to her actual abilities. Temporary reincarnation, wandering in and out of the afterlife as she pleased... The stories had never mentioned anything like this. The stories had mentioned her psychic talents but only in the fortune teller context. It was disturbing to realize that she didn't have to go into a trance or anything to read your mind.

Uranai Baba reminded us that we'd come here to ask her a question and then she answered the question before we could ask it. Goku left, found the last dragonball, came back, pulled Upa onto the golden cloud and then left again, with all the dragonballs.

I want to take a moment out and say that this was the beginning of something ugly. I didn't realize it back then, not right away. So much else had happened. It didn't sink in that Goku had been utterly out of his league. All Gokus talent, all of his power - it wasn't enough. He couldn't, in his own words, 'fix things' by himself. He had needed help. And the help of his friends hadn't been good enough either. No. Instead Goku had to have the dragonballs. He had to summon the dragon.

Some people on Earth, some warriors - they have developed grudges against Goku. As near as I can figure out, these people blame Goku for making regular human warriors look bad by comparison. Or something like that.

Personally... I don't blame Goku. Not anymore. I can't. I know better. I blame the dragonballs. They are extremely useful artifacts but Goku spent a decent portion of his life measuring his own power against them. You have to remember that for at least a few years before the age of 12, Goku had lived in solitude. So he was accustomed to being self-sufficient. He didn't like to rely on others. He didn't want to burden anyone. For a while there... I think that maybe Goku felt as if he had to become capable of everything that the dragonballs were capable of. That way he wouldn't need to depend on the artifacts, he could fix things himself. It was an impossible goal, even for Goku, but he would die more than once before accepting the fact.

ooxoo