A/N- So this is a short drabble I wrote and uploaded on tumblr and since its klarolijah (I think) I decided to put it up here. I have tons of klarolijah/carlijah feels but no ideas to turn into drabbles! If anyone has any requests or ideas do let me know – I need a plot bunny!

There are four things in his long, long existence that Elijah Mikaelson regrets.

One: Elijah regrets not being a better brother to Klaus. Caroline scoffs and rolls her eyes, pursing her lips and shaking her head at him. You're a great brother she informs him, leaving no room for him to argue. He doesn't tell her that he refers to the past, not their present state of brotherhood; for those are not just his memories to share. He doesn't tell her how he stood by the sides and watched Mikael abuse and belittle Klaus, he doesn't tell her how his ten year old self didn't save his younger brother from their father's wrath, but stood rooted in fear and shamefully turned his gaze away from the teary, pleading eyes of Klaus.

He wasn't the big brother Klaus deserved.

And he regrets it.

Two: Elijah regrets all the pain he's caused. Caroline's eyes soften and her head tilts as she looks at him like he's a lost little puppy. Every one of us has killed she says even me she softly adds. He doesn't tell her that he refers not to the lives he's taken, but the lives he's left behind; for he knows she's far too young to understand. He doesn't tell her that those who die are the lucky ones; the people who the dead leave behind are the ones who live in pain. Elijah knows pain; he knows the pain of watching his baby brother die in front of his eyes, he knows the pain of losing the woman he loved.

And now he graces others with the same pain.

And he regrets it.

Three: Elijah regrets his inability to refuse her. Caroline never hears of this, for he doesn't wish to see the pang of guilt that would cloud her features. But he does wish he could he selfish and brutal like his brother. He does wish he could fight for her affections. He does wish he could, for once in his life, be immoral. But he is not; for Elijah is nothing if not honorable. And he will honor his promise to Klaus. And he will honor her loyalty to Klaus. But he wishes more than anything, that he can pack his bags and leave, go far far away to some place where he need not watch what he cannot have. But she refuses to let him leave.

And he cannot, for the life of him, say no to her.

And he regrets it.

Four: Elijah regrets his invincibility. Caroline doesn't even live to see him at his weakest. For centuries Elijah has fought to survive, against his own parents and even his brother. And after a millennia, he is in every definition of the term immortal – the last white oak stakes have long since been burnt to cinders. And now as he stands in the warm summer rain, he wishes for mortality. And in the cold, lifeless, blue orbs of Niklaus, he sees the hint of a similar regret. There is no body for them to hold, no face for them to kiss, nothing of Caroline left to mourn but dark, flakes of ashes. He wishes he could take off his ring and lie on her unmarked grave, let the sun burn his soul and take him to her. But he cannot.

And no stake, no sun and no man can take his life.

And he regrets it.