The throne room was just as she remembered: quiet and unkempt. Sarah chuckled to herself at the unbidden image of Karen studiously cleaning the place from top to bottom and wondered if the same thought crossed her stepmother's mind.
The last time she was here, Sarah went left, through the archway and up the stairs only to stumble into that crazy Escher Room. Stomach lurching, she made the quick decision that it wasn't a repeatable experience.
"Must be some other way," she murmured, almost embarrassed to break the dead silence of the place. Scanning the area, she spotted a moldy looking door peeking out from behind an equally moldering faded tapestry. Whatever was behind that door couldn't be worse than the Eschar Room and striding towards it she pushed it easily open.
The dimly lit hallway was devoid of adornments, except for the odd low burning torch. No doors, no turns- nothing. Just like the first section of the Labyrinth. "Great," she groaned. The door swung shut behind her, hitting her butt, causing her to stumble a few steps forward.
Stretching her arms out, she let her fingers scrape along both walls- in case there was a hidden opening and was disappointed when none presented itself. After minutes of walking, Sarah could see that she was coming to a dead end and sighed, "I'll have to turn around, I guess." Just as she was about to head back, something caught the corner of her eye- movement and a door where there had been none.
It was ornately carved oak and cool to her touch. Taking a deep breath, she opened it and stepped inside.
****
Whatever she expected there to be- a creature, test, a pit even, wasn't what she got. Instead she stepped into a cramped office. The only light coming from a pile of glowing embers in the massive fireplace to the left of an overly large oak desk.
Papers, quills, books, scrolls, and crystals littered every inch of the place. On bookshelves, piled on top of and next to the desk. A pair of moth-eaten wingback chairs, which she supposed had been quite handsome at one point, sat in front of the hearth with a small table in between- the table equally covered with clutter.
Clearly, Jareth didn't employ any type of housekeeping.
His voice sounded sharply from someplace behind the stacks of books and scrolls on the desk. "Squint, I told you not to disturb me until The Champion enters the Goblin City." And with a disdainful sniff, the soft scritch-scritch of his quill resumed.
Sarah hadn't noticed the sound before- too consumed with taking in her new environment. "I'm not Squint" she poked her head around a large stack and met the mismatched (rather surprised) eyes of Jareth.
"Sarah?" he threw his quill down, leaving a large inky blotch on whatever document he'd been working on and hastily stood. "Those buffoons… I had strictly told them to warn me when you…" he finished with a growl.
"I bypassed the City this time. Interesting Carving Room you have. Didn't know that was a hobby of yours and… ah," she looked at a dusty clock on the mantle glad to interrupt herself. "I've beaten you- again- this time by 15 minutes. I'd like my family back now," she placed her hands on her hips trying to look self-assured.
Jareth chuckled at her pose and walking over to her, plucked a strand of seaweed from her hair. "The bit of greenery kills the effect, my Dear."
She swatted his hand away and looked at him expectantly.
He didn't notice however, turning to clear a spot for them to sit and negotiate with a flick of his wrist, the table and chairs while still worn were now impeccably clean. "Come, sit- you must be exhausted," he lounged on the leftmost chair and started pouring them both tea from the set that had appeared.
Sarah didn't move- thoroughly confused. "What no vulture-like circling? No 'fear me, slave' speech?
Tea?" he offered, ignoring her questions.
"What? No- are you kidding me? Every time something from here passes my lips- I end up drugged. Now, family… please," she ground through slightly clenched teeth- patience running thin.
He blew on the steam rising from his cup. "Have you learnt your lesson?"
Sarah sighed and let her shoulders slump. Fine she'll play it his way. Stomping over, she sat in the chair opposite of him and dug out her last bottle of water. "What am I- 5 years old? Yes, I learned my lesson. Drinking to excess is bad. It causes one to do stupid things like wish one's family away. Which I didn't do- I might add. I merely wished to be left alone."
He shrugged noncommittally. "Same thing, really."
"I was drunk. You said that you don't take advantage of drunk persons."
Jareth quirked an eyebrow at her. "What I said, Dearest, is that it depends on the situation. You would have ruined your life if you kept going down that path. I figured you need to learn that all actions- sober or not- have consequences. Biscuit?" he waved a plate of them under her nose.
She shook her head and gently pushed them away. "Yes, yes, you made your point… I'll never drink again. Family?"
"Are currently in my dungeons." He produced a crystal and let it float between them. The image inside was of Karen, Robert and Toby half-heartedly tugging at their ankle restraints. The only one free to roam the damp room was Sprocket, and he was sticking close to Toby's side nudging at the boy's shackle with his cold wet nose.
"Dungeons!?" she yelped and stood. Look of shock, anger, and disbelief upon her face. "Jareth you…"
He calmly held up one hand silencing her. "They were trying to escape and then the maternal one- Karen is it? She would have tried cleaning after she woke from eating the peach I gave her…"
"You drugged them?" Sarah whirled towards the door, "Screw you. I'll find my own way down there." She tugged but the door wouldn't budge.
"Ever theatrical," he quipped drily. Striding over and pulling her away from the door. "Sit, they're fine. Besides, we need to have a little chat."
"Chat? There's no chatting with you." She tried to pull free, but his grip was strong.
"Sarah," he warned, tugging her close so that their chests touched, and he looked his down his nose at her. "We can do this the calm adult way or the hysterical way. The adult way will find a compromise that I think we'll both like. The hysterical way will earn you a thoroughly bruised bum and a fortnight in my dungeons," he stated calmly waiting for her breathing to even out as she considered his choices.
When she relaxed, he released her, and she took a shaky step back. "Fine, what's the 'adult' way?"
****
Sarah should have kept up the hysterics. Anything would have been better than this.
Jareth's idea of a compromise was for her to mind his kingdom for two weeks while he went gallivanting in the Above. Oh, and a packet of beef jerky to be delivered to him twice a month. As soon as they shook on it, her family was returned with properly wiped memories and the idea that Sarah was holed up in her apartment with a nasty case of mono. As a courtesy, they remembered agreeing to watching Sprocket while she recovered.
When she pointed out that she didn't know a thing about running a kingdom he thrust a crystal and a fatly rolled scroll into her hands. "You'll be fine," he put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. "Mostly the goblins are passed out drunk someplace."
"But what if someone wishes somebody away?"
He winked and waved a hand in front of himself, altering his appearance to fit into the Above. "Also taken care of. All Wished Aways are being taken care of by the Hungarian legend Rézfaszú bagoly." At Sarah's blank expression he elaborated. "A giant owl with a copper penis."
She opened her mouth to ask a follow up question, but instead closed it firmly and shook her head. "Never mind- I don't want to know."
"Good." He grinned, kissed her on the cheek and was gone- leaving a pile of glitter behind.
****
Jareth had been kind enough to set Sarah up with her own quarters, but she had only been able to glimpse at it during his hasty tour of the castle. Deciding that she truly was tired after everything, she walked the path he had shown and entered her room. It was spacious and effeminately decorated in creams and light greens. Fleur-de-lis and floral motifs were embroidered upon the bedspread and lovingly carved onto the mantle of her own fireplace.
It was the only room aside from his Carving one, that she'd seen that wasn't run down or decayed. Almost like it had been preserved or waiting for someone.
She stretched out on the bed and took a deep breath, releasing all the tension in her body, and was about to take a nap when she smelled something off. Meaty and smoky. Crawling off the bed, she sniffed again and again- following the odor emanating from her wardrobe.
Frowning, Sarah dug through it. It contained a mixture of Above and Underground styles. Dresses, jeans, corsets, slippers, boots… you name it, she found it.
None of the clothes were the cause though. They smelt of fresh air and sunshine, not smoky and heavy.
Digging deeper, Sarah finally located something different. It wasn't the fine cottons or soft silks of the other garments- it felt dry and a bit greasy. Withdrawing the object, she was shocked to see what looked like a bikini composed entirely of beef jerky.
After eying it for a bit, Sarah decided that whatever reason he had for creating this… thing- she wanted no part of it, and promptly threw it out her window- knowing that the waiting goblins below would have no trouble in its consumption.
Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or any recognizable characters. They belong to Jim Henson and Co.
I came across Rézfaszú bagoly while researching for an incredibly unusual replacement for our GK. As you know, this website doesn't like links unfortunately, but the title of the website is European Monsters: Europe is not Dead. I didn't exaggerate on the copper penis part either.
AN: Oy! I struggled with a lot of writer's block with this one. Taking it as a sign that a very long break is needed. Happily going back to being a spectator.
AN2: Tethered. After letting it sit for a long while and then rereading it... I'm not happy with it, but I don't know how to fix it (my imagination sponge has run dry). Frustrating since I'm generally happy and satisfied with what I produce. So, it'll stay the way it is.