A/N: Sorry for the delay. I have come to the realization that I dislike writing M stuff. It just feels awkward and uncomfortable to me. That's not to say that I haven't, this chapter is fully M. This story probably wont feature another chapter like this so please enjoy. And as usual please leave a review and let me know what you think!
It was awkward. There was no other way she could describe it, lovely but awkward.
She'd never felt so out of control of her own body.
Or as incredibly pleased by her own body.
It was incredible.
But awkward.
It seemed they continued to kiss for an age. Elsie began to worry that, though she had made it clear she was ready, perhaps he wasn't.
He leaned over her gently, kissing her lips, her neck. Hands trembling on the sides of her body, trying to be slow, to be gentle. But it was difficult.
In his mind he tried to gauge how slow he was going, was the pace okay? Was she comfortable? Should he move things forward? Was she relaxed enough? Was she aroused enough?
He knew very few things about the female body, but one thing Dr. Clarkson had told him, in no uncertain terms, was that he must make sure her body was ready.
Ready to accept his. The thought made him shiver.
"Are you cold?" She asked, as his lips trailed down her neck and her hands gently rubbed circles on his back.
He pulled his lips reluctantly away from her, looking down at her again.
She was so beautiful, he thought to himself.
"Um…no…" he answered unsure.
"Oh…I only wondered…" she replied, looking in his eyes for some sort of clue.
Perhaps there was something she was meant to be doing.
She had no idea.
All she could think was words she heard her grandmother whisper to a local farm girl on her wedding day, lay back and think of Scotland.
She giggled at that.
Charles eyebrow arched at that, what on earth could she be giggling about at a time like this?
"I'm sorry, I was just thinking of something silly." She said trying to reassure him.
"Am I silly?" He asked, feeling a bit hurt.
"No, of course not darling." She said reaching out to gently stroke the side of his face. "I'm only thinking of silly advice I overheard once, about…well…this sort of thing." She said, reaching up to give him a gentle kiss.
"I'm a bit nervous." He admitted.
"We both are. Perhaps…we ought to crack on with it. We'll only get more nervous." She said, deciding a bold step might be needed.
He looked down at her for a moment and she began to blush.
What a change of events, she thought to herself, earlier today she was terrified of intimacy, nearly working herself into hysteria and now here she was fairly begging her husband to…to…
She wondered who this bold bride was.
He looked down at her, his eyes settling on her soft red lips, which were now swollen from kissing. The usually pale skin around her lips was slightly red, his beard must be coming in, he thought to himself, and scratching her lovely skin.
He felt his nerves continue to grow.
He didn't want to hurt her.
Certainly her skin looked a bit tender to him, and he was mad at himself for not shaving before bed. He briefly considered running to the bathroom and shaving quickly but then Elsie let out a yawn.
It wasn't a big yawn.
A tiny little thing.
But she stretched her arms out and with that pushed her breasts up.
Suddenly the hardened points of her nipples were pressed tight against the fabric of her nightdress and Charles was resolved.
He sat up slightly and began to undo the buttons of his pajama top.
Elsie smiled at this.
It was happening.
Progress wasn't usually his forte but not it seemed he was determined.
After he removed his shirt he leaned over her, trying to figure out exactly how to align their bodies.
Elsie looked down at the tangle of limbs between them and pushed her legs open slightly. She wasn't exactly sure why she did so, but it seemed the natural thing to do. She understood the mechanics of it all, now was just the test of her body taking control away from her mind.
Charles looked down at her slightly parted thighs, inhibited by the cotton of her nightgown.
With tender hands he pushed the fabric up slightly.
He looked up to see she was holding her breath at the movement and he tried to not think about how soft her skin felt under his hands.
As his hands began to tremble he pushed the fabric up further until it was halfway up her thighs. He didn't think he could push it much further without exposing her fully.
And while she had made it clear she wished to be intimate, he worried that being completely bare to each other, at least at this moment might have been a step too far.
Feeling the moment had arrived Charles awkwardly moved to lay between her thighs.
Jt was awkward for her, the feeling of another persons body atop her own.
Not unpleasant exactly.
Just strange.
But then he was kissing her again and the passion between them felt electric.
His kisses now were greedy and full of need.
The embers of their passions had now fully lit and a fire was grown inside both of them. And it needed to be fed.
Elsie's hands began to run up and down his back, drifting lower and lower with each movement.
Feeling confident and lusty Charles reached up and placed his palm over her breast.
He'd never felt more aroused and was instantly hard. He smiled a bit to himself, prideful that he could still act like such an impassioned young man.
He squeezed her breast gently, enjoy the weight of the soft orb in his palm. Enjoying the moans coming from his bride as she began to grind her hips against his.
Oh this wouldn't do.
Such noises.
Such movements.
From such a heavenly creature as his good wife was bound to push Charles over the edge long before either would be ready.
"Charles," she cried out, feeling her body losing control.
He pulled back from kissing her collar bone and nodded.
He leaned back far enough, pulled his trousers down and the last barrier was gone.
She cried at first.
She hadn't meant to.
But it was painful.
Not that Charles wasn't doing his best.
He was clearly holding back, moving slowly. She looked up to see his eyes tightly shut and his brow furrowed. He was clearly trying to concentrate.
And so was she.
She was trying to concentrate on the good feelings. On what was nice. But it was painful.
She felt like her body was being stretched far past what it could take. She tried to brush the tears away from her eyes but found her hands were firmly on his back. Nails digging into the soft skin of his shoulder blades and she wondered if she was leaving a mark.
He was slowly increasing his speed and the pain was beginning to peak. Something must be wrong, she thought to herself. They must be doing something wrong. It wasn't supposed to feel like this. It wasn't supposed to burn and sting like this.
She was just about ready to tell him to stop, to get off her and leave her be when a throbbing began in her lower belly.
As it picked up momentum the pain began to ebb away. What had felt like a sting before felt much better now, a million times better. The throbbing was building, like an orchestra building slowly to an earth shattering crescendo.
She didn't know what was happening but suddenly she wanted it to continue.
Her hips began moving, completely of their own accord. She was completely out of control but it felt marvelous. It felt primal and raw in a way she had never felt before.
Charles previously steady rhythm was beginning to falter. He began to speed up as she softly called his name, her hips grinding against his.
She felt like she was chasing him, every time she pulled back her hips lurched towards his. She didn't want to break the contact, she wanted him to be as close to her as physically possible.
Without warning the damn that had been building within her burst and she cried out, trembling all over. Her arms became jelly and fell from their positions behind his back. Her head was thrown back as the glorious sensations spread across her.
It took her sometime to notice that Charles had stopped moving. That his face was in the pillow next to hers, his breath fast and hard next to her ear.
His entire body rested on hers, bellies pressed tight together as they both fought for breath.
He was still buried deep within her and God she felt whole.
In a way she never had before. In a way she hoped she would feel again.