Post Paris 1999

England May 2000

"Are you sure you want to do this Ms Shepard?"

"I'm sure, this isn't what I want but its what I have to do"

"If this isn't what you want then maybe something else can be worked out"

Jenny looked down at the baby girl in her arms; her daughter was only a few hours old and already resembled her father. She looked down into her baby's blue eyes and saw Jethro's face, at that moment she knew that no matter how this felt she was doing what was right for her daughter and that's what being a parent meant; her daughters needs came before her own.

"No this is what I need to do to keep may baby safe"

"The adoptive parents have agreed to an open adoption, they will send you photos and updates regularly and occasional visits, if that's what you want?"

As she sat there tears rolled down her cheeks, her chest tightening, she was losing a part of herself and the only thing she had left of him since she had left Paris. She took a deep breath and steadied herself.

"Yeah" she let out a breath

" I need to know she is safe, that's why I'm doing this she deserves better than what I can give her, she shouldn't have to live her life in the shadows, its not safe for me, I screwed up and that means her life is in danger to" The tears were falling freely now, Jenny brought her daughter closer into her body and kissed her head "Goodbye Amelia, always know that your mommy loves you and if your daddy knew about you he'd love you too" with that Jenny handed the baby over to the woman gathered her things and then left.

Once she had left hospital room, she broke down, the tears violently falling form her eyes, she wished more than anything that she could go in there right now and take her daughter with her but she deserved a normal life.

After what felt like hours she calmed the tears because she knew deep down that this was the right thing and no one other than her would ever know that she existed and that would keep her safe.

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Jenny sat in her office with the sonogram photo in front of her thinking about Amelia's life, how could she even thing about being happy with this new baby when she had given her first child away all those years ago.

She still got photos and updates on her life, she was still living in England with her adoptive parents and most importantly she was living a good life.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on the door which was followed by Ducky walking in, he didn't say anything her just stood there and watched her. Jenny was consciously aware that he was in the room but she did not look up from the photo.

"Are you just going to stand there or did you want something?"

"So you went you doctor I see my dear"

"Yeah I'm 8 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. I heard the heartbeat" the emotion evident in her voice.

"You need to tell him Jennifer"

"I can't"

"Are you scared that he wont want this baby?"

"No, Jethro loves kids and he is great with them, that's the problem ducky, I have secrets, they eat away at me and these secrets would make him hate me. And I don't think i can deal with that"