CHAPTER 7 – Soap

Wet mabari and mages

Cullen was making his inspections again the next morning when he came round a corner of the courtyard near the stables to find Leliana sitting on a bench, cheerfully observing as Surana bathed a rather dejected mabari. Two of Leliana's people lurked nearby, subtly there to ensure no one disturbed the women uninvited, but Leliana caught sight of him hesitating and waved him over as she offered a tidbit to Timur.

Surana had set aside her leather armor for sandals and well-worn pants and two shirts, all of which were soaked, but he was surprised to realize that the clothing was so worn, it was in tatters, despite several obvious, neatly executed repairs. In fact, her clothing was the former spymaster's current topic of conversation.

"Really, Arisha, was there no place to get some new clothes? Surely you didn't travel across Orlais in such rags?" The mage was currently working soap into a lather on the mabari's back, removing every trace of kaddis.

"Of course not, Nightingale." She nodded politely to Cullen who remained silent rather than enter that particular conversation but kept her attention on her task. Leliana made room for him on the bench next to the bowl of tidbits, balls of ground meat mixed with bread dough and fried. "I didn't take much clothing to begin with since we were traveling with only one pack animal, just pants and shirts to wear under my armor, but I kept these when your people helped me get a couple of new sets, and I'd rather get these dirty than my new clothes."

Leliana sniffed delicately. "All you bought were a couple of plain shirts and pants to wear under your armor? Really, Arisha, you used to enjoy beautiful clothes, what happened to your sense of taste?" Surana chuckled, her attention mostly on Timur who was now inspecting the ex-Templar mournfully, then the bowl next to him. Obediently, he offered one of the small fried balls to Timur who wolfed it down before woofing softly at Cullen in thanks, turning his mournful gaze back on Leliana to begin the same routine with her.

"My sense of taste got misplaced when I discovered that washing pretty clothes in a stream and beating them on a rock left them looking worse than plain clothes." She grimaced at Leliana then began lathering Timur's front legs, checking his paws carefully, and Cullen caught a whiff of the soap, a rich fresh scent that made him think of old forests and that seemed to stir a memory in him. "However, you'll be relieved to know I let them take me to one of your tailors and had one dress made because sooner or later I'll have to make some sort of formal appearance. Even if I could get to them, the things I left at Vigil's Keep wouldn't fit now. She complained bitterly that I was a stodgy Ferelden with no taste because I insisted on simple and practical until I pointed out that I am a mage and that sometimes means I end up in fights I didn't plan for. Besides, I like my leather; it suits the Warden Surana."

Leliana rolled her eyes and seemed prepared to argue, but Cullen decided Surana might appreciate a distraction. "That soap you're using, the scent is familiar, but I can't think what it is?"

"This? It's scented with storm pine resin." When he shook his head in incomprehension, she chuckled, beginning to rinse the mabari by slowly pouring pans of warm water over him. "There's a pine tree that grows on the Storm Coast, twisted and stunted but tough enough to survive the pounding from sea storms, that produces a lot of resin. Some of the local fishermen and herdsmen collect it to sell for a bit of extra cash. It's always been one of my favorite scents, but I haven't been able to get any for over a year." Timur sneezed in disgust, then accepted another tidbit from Leliana while Surana laughed softly, scratching his ears. "I told you, if you're going to insist on sleeping on my bed with me, you can't smell like you've been rolling in used hay or even like kaddis. At least I don't ask you to smell like flowers." The mabari grumbled, then gave Cullen a tragic look, ears drooping, and he responded to the obvious plea with another fried treat. "Besides, this gives you an excuse to convince people to feed you."

Cullen was suddenly struck by a memory and knew why the soap smelled familiar. "Is that what you used when you were at Kinloch?" Both women paused and looked at him questioningly. "It's just that it seems familiar, but I know I remember that scent from before I went to Kirkwall, and I can't remember smelling it while I was in Templar training. You…never used rose or violet soap, did you?"

Timur's begging claimed Leliana's attention, but Surana eyed him evenly, almost sympathetically, and he hoped his face hadn't reddened when he realized she had at least a vague guess that his question held some urgency to him. "One of the tranquil made this at Kinloch, yes, and since it wasn't popular, at least not with the girls and women, there was always plenty for me. And no, violets make me sneeze, and nothing made with roses was ever left over for the apprentices." To his relief, she didn't seem disturbed by his question and in fact simply raised an eyebrow as if to ask if she'd told him what he needed to know. But now he knew one of the reasons why he had always unconsciously recognized that the desire demon wasn't her, though it wasn't the only reason; some part of him knew what she should smell like. The mage seemed to read the relief in his face, then abruptly grabbed Timur by the collar, distracted when he pulled himself to stand.

"Timur!" The mabari's ears drooped and he met her eyes guiltily. "If you want to shake, you will walk at least ten feet away to do it, and not toward the merchants. When you've had a good shake, come back and I'll rub you down, and you can have some more to eat."

Obediently but dejectedly, he walked toward the pile of rubble as Surana's eyes followed him, laughing softly. "That would have been a fine way for him to thank the two of you for pampering him." The mabari shook thoroughly, his legs braced, but returned her affectionate look with disgust as he returned to the trio. Surana herself fed him a couple of the tidbits before beginning to dry him, shrugging at Leliana's amusement. "He needs feeding up a little and some rest."

"So do you, dear."

Surana shrugged Leliana's anxiety off. "I'm mostly concerned for Timur. I admit I'm glad your Inquisitor is willing to give me some time here at Skyhold before asking me to go out into the field, though, even if she is short two mages already." She reached for a dry towel, catching Cullen's eye. "I hoped I'd get a chance to talk to you about that, Commander. You still have a number of mages who are part of the Inquisition, but no one with much experience in evaluating their individual abilities and potential or with integrating them with other forces. I know there are Templars here, but isn't most of their training, and yours, in evaluating how to deal with a rogue mage rather than working with them?"

Cullen nodded silently, curious but beginning to guess where her conversation was going.

"I know Dorian's here, and I'm impressed with him, but he's still not that familiar with the ways magic is used in southern Thedas. More, if he began training or leading mage forces, there are any number of people who will panic just because he's Tevinter trained." She quietly fed Timur another of the fried balls before inspecting his ears carefully.

Leliana piped up shrewdly. "You, however,…"

The elf began stacking the pans and damp towels, then sat down unconcernedly on the wet ground with her arm around the almost-dry mabari, studying Cullen warily. "Exactly. I have that experience, I'm trained in the South, the mages won't argue with me, at least not too much, and while my open support of the Inquisition may alarm a few people, most people will regard it as only logical." She scratched Timur behind the ears almost absent-mindedly as she gauged his reaction. "I'm comfortable working with Templars, and you need a mage-Templar pairing sometimes, Commander, especially while you're still cleaning up Venatori and Red Templars. Cadash and I discussed the idea this morning, and her suggestion is that I spend several weeks helping to integrate the mages better which will also give Timur and me time to rest. I told her I wouldn't consider it, though, unless you not only agreed, but actively supported the idea because it will mean working with you and your senior officers, and there's no point in even trying if people resist what I'm doing."

Cullen considered the idea but had to admit it would solve several problems for him. While the mages generally respected him and cooperated, there were still moments of wariness, and she was also right that he tended to think first of how to control mages rather than how to deploy them. "Truthfully, only Grey Wardens have much experience in integrating mages with non-mages in combat, at least outside of Tevinter, and none of the senior Grey Wardens in Orlais survived Adamant. The only other person who might have that experience is Grand Enchanter Fiona, and no one would accept her even if she offered."

Surana snorted. "And they shouldn't." She chewed her lip, less remote than she had been the previous day, though it would take an exceptional performer to project proud remoteness while wearing rags and sitting in a puddle on the ground with her arm around a damp mabari. "Fiona was a disastrous choice as Grand Enchanter exactly because she had been a Warden." With that unexpected remark, she rose abruptly, brushing grass from her clothes. "Think about the idea overnight at least, Commander. And I'm getting chilled sitting here in wet clothes. I left my dry clothes and armor in the hayloft since someone wouldn't let me walk through the keep in these." She grinned almost impishly at Leliana. "If one of you would keep Timur company while I make myself presentable enough to be paraded around?" The elf nodded imperceptibly at the bowl of treats.

"Of course." The two friends watched her disappear through the door of the stables, then Cullen felt Leliana's eyes on him briefly before she began scratching Timur behind the ears, offering him one of the tidbits from the bowl.

"You watch her like you're not sure you know her, Cullen."

"I'm not sure I do, or ever did. She looks the same, just older and very thin; when she speaks, it's her voice, but everything she says seems like another person from the girl I remember."

Timur took another fried treat from Leliana, but instead of begging from Cullen next, he rested his head in Leliana's lap. She caressed the mabari's greying head, her voice too low for the guards nearby to hear. "But the girl you knew had not survived the Joining, found herself leading soldiers in an endless fight that has consumed her. The apprentice hadn't been betrayed at Ostagar, by Greagoir, by Irving, by her best friend." Cullen met her blue eyes, startled to discover the cynicism in them. "Yes, we met Jowan while trying to free Redcliffe; she told me a few days later how she came to be a Grey Warden."

"I'd like to think once he'd had time to cool down that Knight-Commander Greagoir wouldn't have punished her." Cullen rubbed his neck, feeling the knots of tension forming. "But now I'm not so sure."

Timur shifted his head in Leliana's lap to fix Cullen with his stare. "She changed during the blight, or I should say she changed herself to be what was needed, but during her first year at Vigil's Keep, the changes in her worried me. One night when I was visiting Arisha at Vigil's Keep, not long before Dorotea became Divine, we shut ourselves into the study and I got her drunk." She shrugged at the crudeness of her approach. "Sometimes when she drinks, she talks. Or did. All I could get out of her was that she blamed herself for something that happened and she was afraid. Afraid to let anyone close to her again."

Cullen thought silently for a few moments, uncomfortably aware of Timur's intent stare. "She mentioned, I mean…was it because of Alistair?"

She didn't seem surprised that he was aware of that relationship. "No, she'd always known he'd have to be king, I think, and by the time he and Anora were married, her thoughts were on rebuilding the Wardens. Well, that and avoiding Anora. Something else happened, and I think if she could have kept even this old warrior away after that, she would have." Timur growled softly in denial, and Leliana scratched his ears. "He probably knows the truth, but even I haven't thought of a way to get information from a mabari yet."

Afterword

Memory and scent are often unconsciously tied together...